First morning(edited)
Adam woke up in the same dimly lit bedroom as before. His brain pounded against his skull and his eyelids felt heavy, and yet he could not bring himself to sleep. It was a weird feeling. He was tired despite waking up only moments ago, but no matter how he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to fall asleep.
A weird feeling indeed.
He rose from the bed and landed on the tiled floor with a series of clip clops. He craned his neck downwards and saw two mocha hooves. He followed the base of the hooves until they connected to his shoulders. He sighed and decided to search for a bathroom to relieve himself. He recalled from his poor escape attempt that there was a bathroom here somewhere and he made it his task to find it.
A task that took mere seconds, considering the room only had two sets of doors leading from it.
He... trotted to the bathroom door, feeling oddly at ease walking on four legs. The real problem came when he faced the closed door, or more precisely, the door handle.
Adam blinked. He raised his hoof and looked at the flat limb intently. He then looked at the door handle, and back at his hoof.
"How the hell do these ponies even manage to twist the knob without fingers?" he asked no one in particular.
He eyed the door handle once more and extended his hoof. He was slow, perhaps too slow, as he neared the handle inch after inch until finally, his hoof landed on the handle and slid off of it.
It was awkwardly quiet as Adam simply stared at his extended hoof, a deadpan look plastered across his face.
"Now what?"
Adam's eye twitched as a small amount of frustration built inside of him. His twitch became a full head shake and Adam did the only thing he could come up with at the moment.
He facehooved.
The quietness that followed was so deafening, it could be heard for miles away… Don't ask how.
"For the love of-"
Adam was cranky. He was tired, a bit hungry and was about to piss himself. So with a trembling hoof, he punched the door.
Adam continued to do so until the door's lock shattered and the door swung inwardly. He was too grouchy to acknowledge his added strength and trotted into the equally fancy and spacious bathroom.
Everything was made out of marble with golden trimmings and the room itself was round with the bathtub in the middle. The tub itself was elevated on a platform with shallow stairs leading to it. The sink was to Adam's immediate left with a mirror hanging above it. The toilet sat on the opposite side of the room with a roll of toilet paper on one side of the toilet seat, and a handle to flush the water on the other side.
Adam trotted towards the toilet and stopped in front of it. That's when Adam encountered his second obstacle of the day.
"Where's my dick!"
Adam craned his neck to look in between his front hooves and to his horror, noticed that Adam Collins, Jr. was gone!
"Come on buddy, where are you? This isn't funny!"
Before Adam could enter a full panic mode, he felt something stir inside him at the bottom of his abdomen. He looked back down and widened his eyes at his new penis.
"The fuck? Why my dick is so small! I'm a freaking horse for crying out loud, there's a reason why women call us stallions in bed! Wait… how old am I? Most other ponies I saw were taller than me. I can't be that young, can I?"
Adam momentarily forgot about his bladder as he approached the mirror that hung above the sink. A sink that was too high for him to reach.
"Of –fucking- course…"
Adam looked around until he spotted a shelf and used it to lift himself. He neared the mirror and gave himself a once over. He had a light brown coat and a short curly mane. His eyes were a familiar mix of olive green and honey. He looked very young compared to other ponies he encountered. Most were bulkier and taller, though admittedly, the only ponies he paid attention to were the guards and Celestia.
"So that's how I look, huh? Kinda similar to that character in… Oh for fuck's sake!"
How could he had been so dense?
“It was all because of that bloody game!” Adam exclaimed.
Of course it was all because of that stupid game. Adam cursed himself for being so stupid. He cursed himself for opening an unknown E-mail. He cursed himself for following said E-mail to an unknown site. And he especially cursed himself for installing a random program on his laptop.
Adam hopped off the sink and walked back to the toilet, muttering all the way.
Once his business was concluded, Adam stepped through the hole in the door that led to the main room and looked around a bit more. The room was too highly decorated to be a simple guest room. A lot of dark red and gold patterns dotted the room, though Adam was too cranky to care. What he did care for was the clock that hung from the wall next to the main entrance.
It read three thirty in the morning.
Adam couldn't remember when he fell asleep, only that he felt extremely comfortable when he did. He shook the memory away from his head and tried to open the entrance door. He had little success in opening the door with the same method as the bathroom's door, and even after several minutes of fumbling with the door handle, Adam had discovered that the door was locked.
A white flash of anger crossed Adam's mind as he realized he couldn't even leave this empty room. He wanted to shout, he wanted for something to make sense, but he could only wait. And that's what always drove Adam up the walls. Feeling powerless. Adam never claimed to be stronger or smarter than anyone, and even if he did, he would be surely mistaken, but at least he had options, at least he could do something. But being confined to a room with nothing to do, with no one to talk to.
It made Adam feel powerless.
And as fast as Adam's anger came, it was gone. Adam lowered his head in defeat and hopped into the bed, which was another challenge for the small colt, and tried to at least control his emotions, to have a feeling of control over as least one thing.
It was five in the morning before there was a knock on the door and Adam couldn't be happier. Finally, after a sleepless hour and a half something is gonna happen.
He didn't even have to invite whoever knocked outside. There was a resounding click of the lock and the doors slowly opened inwards. Two magenta eyes poked into the room before the door opened completely, revealing the princess of the sun herself, Celestia, smiling warmly at him.
"Umm, good morning princess?" Adam offered. For all his enthusiasm he wasn't sure what to say. Or more precisely, he was nervous talking to Celestia. He only encountered her twice and on both occasions, she slipped passed his defenses and crumbled his resolve.
Celestia sensed that hesitation and her smile faltered a bit. She didn’t want this colt to be afraid of her. She slowly approached the bed on which Adam had spent the last hour and a half and sat down near the base of the bed, broadening her smile again.
"Good morning Adam, I hope my being here didn't interrupt any of your sleep. I was on my way to start another day and thought it might be a good idea to check on you. I would also like to apologize for my behavior last night. It was very unbecoming for a princess."
Adam blinked a few times.
'What is she talking abou- oh… ohhhhh…'
Adam suddenly felt very self-conscious as he remembered the events of last night.
"T-That's okay princess, I forgive you. Oh and I feel fine, I think."
Celestia released a tiny sigh, unnoticed by Adam, and said, "I'm glad we got that out of our way, and I'm glad to see that you're okay as well, but please, call me Celestia. It would be only fair. Now if you'll excuse me…"
Celestia rose back on all four and stepped outside the room before addressing Adam again, "I'll send a maid to escort you to the dining hall once the sun has risen, and after that we'll spend some time getting to know each other. Bye for now…" Celestia disappeared behind the door frame and was about to leave when another thing came to mind "Oh, and also, please avoid breaking the bathroom's lock in the future, ta…" and with that said, she left.
"Wait!" shouted Adam, but it was too late. Celestia was already gone.
Now that was another thing that irked Adam. Since his arrival to this world, every conversation he had with Celestia was short and to the point. Never once he had the opportunity to ask her some of his many questions.
Adam huffed and turned to the other side on the bed.
"Sure, just leave. I didn't want to talk to you either…"
It was six thirty in the morning when someone knocked on the doors a second time. Adam didn't answer; instead, he scowled and turned to see who came this time. The doors to the room opened yet again as a mare outfitted as a maid stepped inside.
"Good morning Adam, I was ordered to escort you to the dining hall, you must be starving," she said in an obnoxiously cheery voice.
Adam hated mornings and everyone who loves them.
His bed in his real home was located in a way that each morning the sun would blind his face. He had no curtains to cover his window and his room was made out of concrete, making it impossibly difficult to nail something to the wall. His bed was also too heavy to move as well. And to add salt on injury, his body always turned to face the window in his sleep.
If only there could be nighttime twenty four seven, it’s not like he did anything that required sunlight anyway.
He was about to tell the maid as such but his stomach spoke for him, grumbling loudly.
Adam turned away from the maid as she giggled at his expense, another thing that Adam hated.
"Come on now Adam. I'm sure a tasty breakfast would help your mood a little bit…" the maid said in a sing-song voice.
Alas, Adam's resolve was tempted easily as he reluctantly hopped from the bed and followed the maid through the castle's halls.
If there was one word Adam could say about this castle, it would be: Expensive.
The sheer amount of decorations and various works of art would put the Louvre museum to shame. And yet, Adam saw very few ponies walking the halls. Actually, besides the statue-like soldiers and the odd maid, the castle was practically empty.
"It must be really quiet here," Adam remarked, mostly to himself.
"Most of the time, yes," the maid responded. "This castle is pretty big and quiet. It's one of the things I like about working here. It's… Peaceful around here and the quiet is soothing in a way. Though the exact opposite can be said during the Grand Galloping Gala. Each year for one night, this place is the busiest, most desirable place to be."
"The Grand Galloping Gala huh? Sounds boring…" Adam muttered.
It didn't take long for the two to reach the dining hall. Their idle talk certainly had helped. On their to their destination, the maid explained to Adam a little about princess Celestia as well as her sister, Luna, though Adam was skeptical about their role in controlling the day and night cycles.
Amusing? Sure. Believable? Not so much.
As the two entered the room Adam's belly was shouting at him again.
The dining hall, much like the rest of the castle, was an expensive and spacious looking room. The sun rays filtered by the colored windows, gave the room a very bright and colorful aspect to it. As expected, the middle of the room had a long table that stretched from one of the room to the other with many chairs lined at each side, with two fancier looking chairs at the head of the table, two chairs that were currently occupied.
Celestia was the first one to notice Adam at the entrance to the dining hall and offered him a kind smile. Luna also noticed Adam and waved a hoof to greet him, as well as motioning to the seat beside her.
Adam, still being a bit careful around the princesses, nodded weakly to each princess and took Luna on her offer. He sat next to her and avoided eye contact with the two of them. Celestia didn't have time to inquire Adam what's the matter as the waiters filled the dining table with different assortments of foods and beverages.
Celestia and Luna started filling their plates with their choice for breakfast. For Celestia, it was a simple salad with a mug of steaming coffee. For Luna, it was scrambled eggs, toast and a glass of red wine. Both started eating away at their choices while sending careful glances towards Adam, who had his plate empty.
"Something wrong Adam? Is there nothing to your liking? If that's the case then I can assure you that our staff is more than skilled enough to prepare whatever it is you desire," Celestia asked.
Adam frowned and felt the frustration from earlier welling inside him again.
"I can't pick up anything…"
"What's that dearie? I didn't quite catch that."
"I can't use my hooves, okay!" Adam snapped. "God, this is embarrassing…"
"Well I don't see a problem. I don't know why you can't use your hooves and it's none of my business, but you can still use your horn, right?" Luna inquired.
"I… can't use my horn either…" Adam professed.
Celestia and Luna traded worried looks before snapping their gazes back to Adam, who tried to scowl the salad into serving itself.
A golden aura engulfed the salad bowl and hovered across the table until it was near Adam's plate. Then, the big spoon inside the salad bowl hovered as well and started spilling a few spoonfuls of salad into Adam's plate.
Adam looked up from his plate as saw Celestia's horn glowed with the same color as the bowl. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together as Adam stared at the floating bowl, eyes wide.
"Fuck me sideways!" he exclaimed.
Celestia was about to reply when a gasp of shock reached her ears, which perked up towards the source.
It was Blueblood.
"Auntie, why is there a commoner in my seat?" he shrieked.
Adam cringed when he heard Blueblood's voice. The tone in which he spoke was enough to cause Adam to want to drown Blueblood to death until the last bubble goes ‘bloop’. Not to mention the snooty aura that radiated from him.
"Blueblood," started Celestia "This is Adam. Adam, please meet Prince Blueblood."
"Uhh… Hey?" said Adam, not sure why Celestia punished Adam by forcing him to talk to Blueblood.
"Hey?! Hey! You will refer to me by my full title you little runt!" bellowed Blueblood.
Adam glared at Blueblood and his hoof trembled from anger. Oh if he could grasp things with his hooves, there would be a lot of sharp objects flying. But for now though, the only thing sharp Adam could throw was his witty remark.
"Listen to me you pompous little royal cunt! You talk to me in that ugly ass tone of yours one more time and god help me I'll hit you with a brick!"
"Huh! Auntie, that little street rat just insulted and threatened me! Send him to the dungeons!" Blueblood fumed. Nopony ever dared to speak that way to him.
Celestia sighed and looked at Blueblood; it seems that quiet time was over.
"You know we can't send a colt into the dungeons, nephew. And there are plenty of seats around here, I'm sure you can learn to share…"
Adam snickered while Blueblood's eyes slowly widened with each passing second, incapable to comprehend Celestia's words.
"And you, Adam! We do not use that kind of language in here! And as long as you stay in this castle, you will obey my rules!"
"Fine…" Adam muttered. He smiled wickedly and turned his attention back to Blueblood. "One wishes to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in building walls. Repeatedly." He then turned back to Celestia. "Happy?"
Celestia had her mouth open, too stunned to say anything. Luna covered her mouth with her hoof, trying and failing to conceal her grin. Blueblood stood there, unable to understand what just transpired.
And Adam, he just realized that maybe this new arrangement isn't too bad…
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Haha! Adam shows his intelligence at the end! Looking forward to what Tia and Luna make of that. Really looking forward to the next chapter! Saw this pop up in my emails and HAD to read it before I went to bed.
"Uhh… Hey?" said Adam, not sure why Celestia punished you by forcing you to talk to Blueblood.
The story suddenly became second person
I would not have mentioned "brick to face" I would have mentioned "horn relocation from top of head to exiting sphincter end."
Other than that, perfect :)
Dat ending... (Nuff said)
That was fricken hilarious.
4891604 Again, I'm losing my touch
4891625 We all make mistakes. Also, typically a persons thoughts are placed in italics, like so:
I always use those codes when typing, because switching from gdocs to this site can sometimes ruin formatting but it will not ignore codes like that.
4891625 All though what you did with ' and ' isn't wrong so... I guess who cares
Lol I love whst adam did to blue butt it was funny and how he slip past celestia rule hehe
Hee hee hee. I feel giddy from the hilarity of the ending.
that ending made me bust a gut from laughing so hard
this story is funny
have a smiley ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
GOD i love that smiley
WOO HOO NEW CHAPTER
Thanks man, now start the waiting game, who would win, the reader, or the writer
4891751 In this game everybody wins
4891757 The writer controls who win, and if you say everybody, that means that tomorrow there wait would end right
?
4891762 Umm, sure...
I LAUGHED SO HARD!!!!!!!!:-D
This chapter was funny.
4891757 Unless the story goes on hiatus and never re-emerges, then everybody loses.
Blue Blood got his motherfucking due!
Go for the eyes.
4891652 geez he is a smart ass
4891836 Did you mean... me? Cause you replied to me, who is?
4891841 sry I am on my phone typing and I didn't notice it clicked ya and I was talking about Adam
4891846
Yeah, I was just trying to help if you did mean me 
but now I am getting defensive, oh phones... stupid phones.
4891850 thanks obama
4891868 I am now afraid, and I was just playing a Sonic hack where everything was Thomas the Train Engine...
I tip my hat to you sir now the only thing that needs to happen is the wall and bluebloods face to get properly introduced to each other
One problem I see in Adam's character is that although we are told he curses a lot, there's not many curses he actually knows other than "Fuck". Which is strange, as I get the distinct feeling he's British, and as such knows a lot more insults than what Americans know.
Maybe an idea for the future?
This is my new favorite sentence now.
Awesome! Although I just anticipated Adam to act rather than speak, much like he did to the royal guard.
good chapter
4891833 horn
See tia, its possible to be polite AND tell insects what's about to happen if they keep buzzing
4892192
its easier to simply get the can of raid.
4892080 yes.. Celestia romancing a colt...NO scandle there. XD. My best bet is he turns human at some point.
I still confused, he KNOWS the show HE KNOW who they ARE, why he can't recognized them? or believed that they control the sun and moon? Or in that universe the show never exist?
Also…wow, you tell him not to break the doors before even asking WHY he did it and then discover he can't even use his hooves or horn…yeah very smooth there princess, very smooth
shakes yoni10014 like a mad man "write more or I will turn you into blueblood and let Adam have at you.'
4892399
Or he could fall in love with a fillie at some point the romantic tag can mean many things actually
Did the title and name of the story change or am I just imagining things?
*Blue blood speaks*
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRZIvYqSHjW5AMGEIrLWNIuoae6MqFSKTBjZy0d_CY8IrzQdYBQ
You asked, I'm delivering, along with a small pizza.
Should be eyelids.
Bathroom; it.
He.
Missing a 'the' in there, somewhere.
I'm not 100% sure, but I believe deadpan is a facial expression, or more accurately, the lack of one. Unless he somehow killed a cast-iron pan and glued it to his face.
Hanging above.
A roll of toilet paper. One kind of implies that it's one sheet.
The phrase should be 'and to', no comma, only one 'o'.
Were.
How could he have been so dense?
I think a 'too' belongs right before this.
Hanging or hung, your choice.
"he realized he couldn't"
Should be a 'she' before this.
Has.
Can either be "various works of art" or "various works of the arts", depending on your mental imagery.
Either put an 'and' in the middle or a comma.
More like 'radiated from'.
Should be an 'a' in the middle, there.
That'll be $15.49 for the pizza.....
Oh goodie, Alex is a smart ass(horse?)
I cant wait to see more comedy and daww moments in the next chapter.
That was funny even Adam can't stand Blueblood's attitude I look forward to your next chapter this is turning into a great story
I'm just waiting for Blueblood to fuck up somehow and Celestia, and Luna nearly kill him
OMFG HILARIOUS XD
Madgod approves
4893006 so your like me, a person who finds EVERY mistake basically.
4893339 *You're
4893521 Mhm yep, I called it. (Blame the cellphone and it's poorly put together grammar system for that.
)