Pinkie Pie notices that a peppermint turned her tongue green, prompting Rarity to recite a poem about a kissing game. They both decide they want to play it. Their target: Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash doesn't know about this game and treats their sudden affection like a prank. Naturally, she feels the need to prank them back, but she doesn't think her plan through and things rapidly spiral out of control.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Um. This wasn't exactly bad, but a couple things got in the way of any real enjoyment I could have had reading it.
Mainly, the pacing on this is way too fast. I have absolutely no idea where this "RD's not a girl" thing came from. Then as soon as Dash's dad gets involved it becomes so chaotic and random that I got bored.
Honestly, the summary did a better job of letting me know what was going on than the story itself. I think if you went back and spent more time developing these exchanges (And then once Dash's father is involved, cutting out some of the repetition), it'd read a lot better.
Withholding vote for now.
Horrey shet. That made me laugh so hard!
I just want to say rainbow dash is a girl stupid
I've decided to bite my tongue, good day to you.
...This was just...
You had me lost at Pinkie x Rainbow's Mom. This was just a weird fimfic all together. Well done.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
It says this story is a comedy (according to tags) but i find no humor in it.
Phasing was way to fast and the parental involvement just made it weird.
I'm sorry to have to do this but i have to give a rating and that is a 4/10 i see no cookies in you'r future maybe a sunny day but that's the best i can see.
Now don't take this in a bad way, there is good potential hear if you look very very very hard. I say with more practice on normal SoL story's (slice of Life) you can become a good writer.
Never stop writing an get some people or friends to help out every now and then. The story can get better with a second or third opinion.
~Tobben
I DEMAND MORE!!! umm... if that's okay with you *squee*
I demand more as well! Lol. I really did enjoy this though. It made me giggle and laugh A LOT.
Or should I say