- Member Since 5th Jun, 2013
- offline last seen March 24th
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Darkness and Evil are what I love. A story with a twist for good or worse. A realist of sorts. Not everyone can live in a happy world. Someone has to suffer for everyone elses happy lives.
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Nice little story. You had some instances of using words that (while not spelled incorrectly) are incorrect in their usage. Example, In this sentence: 'Our how I put it our death march.' The first word should be 'or.' One last note: while anyone can sympathize with being in this situation, there really isn't that much to make us (the audience) care about the character in question (i.e. give them a unique quality to make them seem 'human'-for lack of a better word.)
4943082 Thanks! Yea I usually don't write one shot stuff. I'm more of a progressive over chapters person but I've been trying to get out of my comfort zone a lot more of late.