• Member Since 5th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen March 24th

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Darkness and Evil are what I love. A story with a twist for good or worse. A realist of sorts. Not everyone can live in a happy world. Someone has to suffer for everyone elses happy lives.

Comments ( 42 )

Wow.
Ponies are bastards apparently.

6307561 Anyone can be bastards if you give them too much power.

Comment posted by Bigjump3300 deleted Aug 11th, 2015

This story is great. Truly spectacular, I personally think that there should be more.

6308117 I hadn't planned on it. I could always see about it though

6308117 Yea but at the same time I don't know where I would take it

This story needs to continue. The readers need answers, and revenge/justice. I want to see a human escape and hopefully show the ponies that what they're doing is wrong, or at least be able to escape to Earth, or wherever the humans come from in this story and warn them about the danger.

6308316 ... so I may have been inspired to finish this

The story practically shouts at the reader, "FEEL SAD FOR THIS CHARACTER! FEEL ANGRY AT THESE CHARACTERS!" yet it lacks the subtlety to make me feel anything other than contempt for ham-fisted storytelling.

6308490 Well. It's only the start of this. Since people want to see more I decided to expand more on it more slowly. I'm not saying you should feel bad for all the humans or hate all the ponies. I want Twilight to be a woman obsessed with experimentation on only him. I'm going to expand on the whole human thing in Equestria. I'm leaving room for critiques and questions.

6308597 I want to see the Humans rebel against the ponies.

[youtube=FsqJFIJ5lLs]

6308771 Anything is possible. I need to set my route first before I decide which way to take it. I've already started the rough draft of Day Two

6308889 IKR? sums up the comments nicely.

Plus it's context relevant!

i have no bloody clue what is going on. were is the bakcstory, the context. as it is now its justa freaking mess whitch leaves you whit barly eny idea whats going on

6420961 Which is basically where I want to leave people at as for now. See, I started this off as a one shot at a point where The main character has gotten to know Twilight and everybody else pretty well as well as the world. So what I'm planning on doing is establishing a base of how it's going to proceed from there.

6421163 ok. but just one questen it seams to me that he got atleast some kind of buddy buddy relationship with twilight. is their some Stockholm syndrom going on their or is it some part that i am missing or you have yet to write, beacus so far all we have seen is twilight experement on him and throw him in to an arena for bloodsport.

6421221 It's more along the lines of Stockholm. He knows that she won't kill him, but he also knows he'll have to suffer a lot of pain to get what he wants. She feeds and keeps him alive, so he sees her as a person to gain from. More will be written to better understand this though.

Wow this got way darker than I was expecting. I don't feel like these newer chapters are as good as the first, although this one got better. I hope you continue this.

6432870 yeah I know how ya feel. The first I poured my soul and mind out for. The second one felt a bit illusive to me. The recent one I took so long rereading and writing down what parts I want and what parts I don't. I'm doing the same for the new one as well. So progress will be a bit slower now despite it lacking as many words as the first.

6433591 Well hopefully you get it done the way you want, and we all can enjoy it.

"I don't know about this Rainbowdash...

Rainbowdash

NO no no no no no no nonononono no no no no...
Fix this... fix it.

Otherwise, good and interesting start. I like it, and I will continue reading.

I would be so frigging annoying if I was there.
Cut out my tongue, I'll still be an ass.
You can't stop me with no happy chair.

Awesome job!

Rainbowdash

Nope.

Awesome job so far, but I'm liking where this is heading.
Damn, this Equestria is messed up.

Keep it up!

What a delicious fight that was 8'D
Heeheheh, wow, this is awesome man, nice job again!

Keep it up!

6446097 Gah! I missed one! I was so worried about that!

This is an interesting development.

Rainbowdash

it hurts us master, is burns usssss!

Awesome new chapter man, nice job on this.

Oooooh, dangerous... hehee,

Nice.

Some of your grammar and spelling could use improvement but I'm liking the overall story more and more.

yes they ponies are being killed my plan is working

Sequel? Also the end feels just a little confusing for me. If there is going to be a sequel could you let me know?

Welp... this was, an odd and confusing ride, enjoyable but confusing.

Nice job, good story...

Till next time! :D

6936590 I entertained the idea of having a sequel of Twilight and her rule, but wasn't quite sure on how I would do it. I tend to like to do things in sections and let certain parts stay within mystery or have a secret meaning for later down the road. If there was going to be a sequel, I'd rather someone else do it haha

6937732 In that case maybe I'll write one someday. Maybe, maybe not. We'll see.

dunno it was ok until the end it feels kinda meh

Oh wow, now I kinda do wish he would turn into a vengeful spirit

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