• Member Since 4th Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

webkilla


A strange person - as much Anon and fa/tg/uy as he is Brony. Beware, for he is wise in the ways of the interwebs.

Comments ( 205 )

...if it wasn't for the dark tag, I'd be all over this. (Sorry, just isn't my thing. I don't like dark ponyfics.) Nonetheless, kudos for making an Exalted crossover. I hope it gets all the love it deserves. I'm a big fan of Exalted myself. In fact I'm going to be playing my weekly session with some friends later today! X3

Finally someone at least have begun writing fanfic on THIS ccrossover! Yay!
Mm...I wonder if Shadow Of All Things will be...uh...spotlighted here?

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I'm sorry to hear that. I can tell you that it is only 'dark' in the context of being a fantasy story with some amounts of bloody violence and undead nasties and whatnot.

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No problem. I'm halfway into the third chapter now. And who knows? I plan to cover most of creation and beyond in these stories

Hmm... well, I'll set it aside to maybe read later then. In any case, it's awesome to know there's another brony that's also an Exalted fan around here. ^w^ *hoofbump*

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Sweet. And feel free to give feedback, I can't improve without it

Lunar Mate has joined the party!

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Now have fun trying to guess her totem

Well with absolutely no information on a tell or anima banner.... or even a name or cutie mark. I'm going to go out on a limb and say.... Full Moon Caste, with a spirit form of a Phoenix....

No wait! Wolf!

Cow?

Crow!

Rabbit!

Human?
:trollestia:

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new chapter is up. Now you get to figure out the lunar's totem AND what mysteries were buried in the tomb of the bright machine speaker

Exalted and Ponies, together at last. :twilightsmile:
Looking foreward to more. :pinkiehappy:

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Glad to hear from a fan.

Feel free to give me any feedback you can think of - and spread the word :)

Will we ever see a pegasus in this story?

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Eventually - and the question has already been raised why there aren't any around... and it wont be pretty once they find out where they went

Chapter 13 is done - just need to proof it and make a little illustration for it

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They all started out as essence 2 or 3 characters fresh out of chargen. I've statted out Speaker fully, and I could do the rest...

but as a general rule Speaker is an int 5 crafting/medicine monkey set on teaching and whatnot, Sullen hoof is a sneaky bastard with a penchant for Craft(water) - so he can cook and poison you like nobody's business, Cash and Sunrise are both min/maxed social monster (with Cash having a few basic solar hero style, and Sunrise a perfect soak charm, as their only means to protect themselves)

Red is - well - a dawn caste solar... she does fighting. Her stats reflect this. Not much of a leader (no war charms)

and Shimmer - well - she isn't meant as a PC. 5 dots in solar mate, essence 6 (She's old... its been mentioned in the story) but has spent most of her time doing the winding streams thing trying to maintain tribes in the west who can hold off fae attacks as well as immaculate missionaries. She does by no means use that essence 6 stat for much beyond the form acquisition charm that lets her sleep with stuff instead of drinking their heart blood... If ever made as a PC she'd start as an essence 4 no moon lunar.

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Indeeed! And don't forget to check the ask tumblr I've set up for this story - lots of fun extra info there

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to Abyssal Exaltation, I mean the Dark Side, ...eh, same thing:applejackunsure:

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Well, death can lead to abyssal exaltation...

I'm more imagining GSP exaltation for the haters.

But hey, both could work. Say, what do you think will happen next?

So Shimmer doesn't know about Abyssal Exalted?

Apparently not. The story is set shortly after the return of the solars. When Shimmer told of the moon-scrying ritual that she and her lunar buddies back west used to do, she mentioned that it first really started 'working' a year or so ago... so solars haven't been around for that long, and by that logic neither has abyssals. Of course, there's a big difference between having the support and training afforded by deathlords, compared to bumbling around with no guidance and the immaculates chasing you around

Is the king's adviser EVER not evil?:rainbowhuh:

1704571 I think it's a job requirement.

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Well now the circle will be advisors... so will they turn evil??

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Who knows???:scootangel:
They are Exalted after all, and most Exalted have an extensive track record of having "good" ideas that backfire horribly. So, no worries.:twilightsmile:

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Ya its not like any of the circle's plans or ideas haven't backfired just a little so far...

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Just a little. Minor setbacks, really. :trixieshiftright: Nothing happened.

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I can assure you - it'll only get worse

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I'm looking forward to reading it.:pinkiehappy:

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Fair enough. Its always good to see that I have more than one active reader :)

Oh and make sure to keep tabs on the tumblr - I put info up there which wont or hasn't been mentioned in the story

:rainbowderp:You killed Shimmer?!

But, but what was that thing?! It definitely wasn't an Exalt. Was it some sort of deformed super ghost?

...Now I feel bad about asking about my Solar character's crazy Lunar mate:ajsleepy:

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Merry Xmas :)

Aren't I a stinker

(and I'll get around to answering all your questions once I get home from crunkmas with the family)

I'm liking the story so far, webkilla, glad for the link!

Three chapters in, I've noticed a number of spelling/grammar errors including missing or extra words. I don't know how much you've improved over time, but I do recommend making an editing pass over some of the earlier stuff. (This is not an offer to act as an editor, by the way. I'm already serving as editor and sounding board for My Little Masquerade as well as writing My Little Exalt. There's only so much pony I can fit around the rest of my life!)

As a player, I think it's a bit surprising for a Solar to be running around with a gyroscopic chakram and using Thousand Wounds Gear Style. I guess I could buy a gyroscpoic chakram being developed in the First Age, but if I were the ST of a game I wouldn't likely permit it. TWGS, on the other hand, was developed in Autochthonia during the time of the Shogunate in Creation, so it wouldn't be something remembered from the First Age, and wouldn't be present in Creation until the Seal of Eight Divinities was broken. (Also: IIRC in 1e Autochthonians the gryoscopic chakram made mention of the style, but the style was never printed. The fan-made version of the style produced 3 months later would give a master of the style 2 permanent Clarity, with the ultimate charm giving temporary Clarity, a trait only Alchemicals have. That said, the 2e official version of the style does not grant Clarity.)

Of course, this far into your story I'm under no illusions that you'd change such a fundamental part of a major character just because of a single criticism. I just felt it had to be said.

It's also worth noting that the punishment for breaking an Eclipse oath rarely happens immediately, and it's rarely as dramatic as being dragged kicking and screaming off the deck of your ship by animate water. Nor can the Eclipse specify exactly what the punishment will be (that's entirely up to Heaven to decide). Tripping over a rock and stabbing yourself in the eye is entirely appropriate (especially for an oath made by an Ess 2 Solar); having your junk rot off is much less likely. Remember, the penalty manifests as a botch at the worst possible time in proportion to the Eclipse's essence at the time the oath was made. While not impossible, it's hard to come up with a situation where a botch would cause your manstallionhood to fall off.

The oath works both ways, too, but correctly wording the oath can easily put the Eclipse out of any harm: "Do you promise not to hunt me?" is a hard oath for the Eclipse to break himself.

one of the loosing parties were feeling vindictive and blew up three parts of herself, altering the reality of creation. After that ponies everywhere turned into omnivores.

Definitely a creative use of She Who Lives In Her Name. Not sure if meat-eating ponies is really necessary, but it's certainly a creative explanation. I like it!

manual of exalted power

I groaned so hard. :facehoof:

On Speaker's history story-time: Ho much of this is meant to be simply errors in the text he read, versus changes designed for your ponified Creation? There are a number of errors compared to the "true" history, notably--
* Cytheria was the first primordial to awaken (and she woke the others), although Oramus came in afterward saying "I was wondering when y'all would wake up, slowpokes", so Oramus is presumably the first primordial.
* Autochthon joined the conspiracy because he was the "ugly duckling"; the other primordials didn't like him, so he tossed them the bird and helped the Incarnae. Then again, he did have hyper robo cancer, so maybe their dislike of him was justified, if vain.
* Gaia joined the conspiracy because Luna seduced her.
* The primoridals didn't kill mortals for sport any more than an adult human would go around burning ants with a magnifying glass -- sport is what the Games of Divinity were for. That's not to say the primordials didn't kill mortals, just that their death was a side effect of whatever the primordial was up to, not the point.
* The original Dragon-Blooded were the horniest 100 males and 9,900 females that the conspirators could find. Then they banged. There was nothing special about the first generation other than their truly epic ability to have kids (each female in the first generation averaged 30 children, with the legendary Masira bearing 100).


Oh, and there's also the whole thing about how making Creation in the first place was basically a pit stop for the Primordials while they broke out Scrabble: Travel Edition. They left Zen-mu to find the Shining Answer, and stopped along the way, making Creation.

It was said to be a powerful ghost of a pony called The Black Heron, who had built a mighty fortress of bone and steel called the Ebon Spires of Pyrron, lit with ten thousand fires stolen from funeral pyres. The dreamweaver, talespiner and dayshield conspired to create a story, part fiction, part destiny, about a mighty pony rising to find an overlooked weakness in the Black Heron’s defences, laying the ghost to rest for good…

Dayshield did not participate in crafting the story about the Princess Magnificent, though Talespinner or Dreamweaver may have told her the story after it was complete. I believe the plan was for Dreamweaver to implant the story into the minds of the mortals of Great Forks through their dreams, but the Princess Magnificent fled the region before it became necessary.

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Oh wow - awesome feedback.

To address most of the things you point out:

1) Ya, an editor would be nice. Don't have one - but I do reread every chapter once before uploading to proof it. I know its not perfect, but its all I have.
2) Regarding TWGS and Gyro-Chakrams: Its a deviation from the canon fluff, but IMO not a very critical one. IMO TWGS isn't that powerful a style so it doesn't matter that much. It has some fun tricks (the 'throw ppl up in the air and they stay up is hilarious IMO) but beyond that I'm not that impressed.
3) the SWLIHN thing - ya, because in my eyes then ponies who know the joy of bacon... nope.avi
4) Speaker's storytime inaccuracies: Well, its part not remembering everything correctly, part Speaker having a massive bro-boner for Autotochton, part solar propaganda twisting the true story. I know of Zen-Mu and the shining answer, but Speaker's version is twisted by him remembering himself as being a hero who helped save creation from the cruel primordials...
5) As for the black heron's story - Well, that's part fluff deviation part me not remembering the canon fluff sequence perfectly. But IMO it still works, now they just have the story but aren't spreading it, holding it like an ace in the hole.

But ya, I've got plenty of deviations from the 2nd. ed canon. Like, its not been covered in the story much yet, but cows in this story are somewhat sentient, like in MLP:FiM - but they're just all enslaved. Now think how that'll work out with Ahtlat being the southern god of war AND the god of cattle... who likes to get cattle sacrificed to him. There'll be tons of fun 'clashes' between established MLP lore and Exalted Lore. I'm still trying to figure out how to explain Haltan ponies (Who're always at war with Linowan buffalo) - I mean, ponies living in the trees... with hooves? Maybe cloven hooves. And the semi-mutated icewalkers from the far north following the bull of the north will be reindeer. Wait, Bull has a grey beard, now with reindeer minions... oh ho ho ho... this will be fun.

but seriously, thank you for the feedback. Again with the spelling errors and whatnot: I try my best, but I have no editors - and I've racked up a lot of chapters for anyone to go through, so getting someone to go through them all seems a little impossible... (but if anyone is reading this and wants to, please tell me!)

Shimmer folded a stack of jade talents, mostly white jade talents but also some of other colors, into elsewhere, giving the circle a portable fortune large enough to buy an army – in cash.

Realm-minted jade coinage is all white jade (the Realm being centered on the elemental pole of Earth). Other regions do not bother actually minting jade; while jade is valuable everywhere, the north, east, and south all use a silver standard of currency (it is not a standard of the Guild, though the Guild's silver is usually considered "best"), and the west uses various sizes of cowrie shells. Jade talents of any other type of jade would likely been seen by any Realm lawmaker as a (really really poorly executed) attempt at forgery.

One needed adamant circle countermagic, a spell of the first circle

The Solar Circle of Adamant is the third circle, not the first.

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I've always liked the idea of emerald circle sorcery as being the third (as in third place... or the outer-most circle) while adamant circle is the highest, thus number one.

And keep in mind where they got the jade: Denansdor - the stuff was likely not meant to be used as currency, but more for crafting use - This is why they picked a handful of white jade ones, plus one of each of the other colors, because they know that white jade is sort used for currency while speaker can probably do all kinds of fun things with the rest...

and while its never really come up in the story then I've largely ignored the concept of yen and the other "empress' purse" currency - but with the twist that a single jade bit is (depending on local exchange rates and whatnot) roughly worth a thousand silver dinars (basically I've made silver coinage the yen...) - it makes things simpler and far less confusing for any readers, so I don't have to explain six different degrees of currency to them. Heck, considering that Exalted uses the Resources background to symbolize how much money you have/earn, then why they even bothered fluffing out the currency thing sort of makes you wonder...

The sunken city of Luthe might rise again if Speaker, now free of anything binding him to the east, could be brought to the west. Sure, Leviathan would be displeased that Speaker wasn’t the solar he seeks, but still, a solar with no loyalties to any contemporary agencies? The silver pact could benefit greatly from this.

Raising Luthe requires getting past Mobile Platform 5's defenses around the command center (Levianthan reactivated all of them), lifting Leviathan's trident out of the command chair (unless you are Leviathan, it requires a Str+Athletics total of sixty), and attuning to the chair (25 motes, and you automatically take aggravated damage if you're under Ess 5). Let's not forget that Luthe itself is in a crevasse thousands of feet below the surface of the ocean, and many sections of the city are completely flooded.

From this chapter:

Red shook her head. Her parents must have had Onyx after she had been exiled, because at that point she and her older brother had been their only foals.

From chapter 7:

Red pondered for a moment: “Well, Swift Hoof was supposed to be the heir, I was second in line. I guess this means that my little brother Purple Lotus ascended, but why would he… oh heavens, the plague”

Let's fly the Daystar through that plothole! :rainbowdetermined2:

“And that is why one does not strike or otherwise aggress against an eclipse caste solar or those in his company while he is on official business” Cash said, grinning from ear to ear.

RAW, an Eclipse's diplomatic immunity doesn't apply to mortal interactions.

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IMO TWGS isn't that powerful a style so it doesn't matter that much.

Martial Arts styles, by design, are weaker than normal Solar charm trees. This is because any celestial level exalt can learn CMA, as can many spirits (including demons), and the designers want to ensure that the Solars are the "best". That said, Solar Hero, which is the remnants of the 1e Brawl charm tree, still doesn't compare to the Melee charms, for example. (I've heard that Brawl is coming back for 3e, though.)

Like, its not been covered in the story much yet, but cows in this story are somewhat sentient, like in MLP:FiM - but they're just all enslaved.

I noticed that back in chapter 9. “You… hunted a cow? That’s barbaric. I know they’re always kept as slaves for the milk, but really?” I had myself a good laugh. :pinkiecrazy:

I try my best, but I have no editors - and I've racked up a lot of chapters for anyone to go through, so getting someone to go through them all seems a little impossible...

Have you tried asking for help in the Looking for Editors group? There's a lot of people there who are willing to help.

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keep in mind where they got the jade: Denansdor - the stuff was likely not meant to be used as currency, but more for crafting use - This is why they picked a handful of white jade ones, plus one of each of the other colors, because they know that white jade is sort used for currency while speaker can probably do all kinds of fun things with the rest...

Seems odd that it would be shaped into talents in that case. I would imagine it would be stored as either ingots (much less unwieldy for an individual to manipulate than a talent) or as dust (for alloying with metals).

Also, you gave them 2 blue and 2 green (and 1 red and black), not 1 each :ajsmug:




By the way, I like how big your Solars are thinking. This is the sort of grand-scale epic-ness that I wish more players would try at the tabletop. I'm in an Alchemicals game at the moment, and our party of Champions just recently took down a mother-bucking apostate Colossus. Then we tossed a soulbreaker orb back into the portal she created that was spewing forth gremlins and counterspelled it.

The whole event was the end result of our patropolis inventing a teleportation charm. Supposedly there's an apostate patropolis/matropolis out there somewhere... things could be very bad if the apostates got their grubbly little hands on the information, especially since the charm triggers an autoimmune response at the location you go to.

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1) Luthe - It was never stated that it'd be an easy thing... its just a hint that Shimmer wants to do something other in her life besides being Speaker's pet lunar

2) Eclipse diplo immunity: My own personal houserule - I just think it makes more sense that way. If it didn't it'd be a huge gap in the immunity which all kinds of nasties could exploit: Bronze-Sids can't stab him? Send a mortal! That makes no sense IMO.

3) Plot-hole: guilty as charged... Fixing.

4) Brawl coming back in 3e? I'm disappoint. I'd more hoped that Melee and Thrown were done away with - instead replaced/renamed as various native melee/thrown/archery hero styles - basically making it all different flavours of martial arts. Oh well, we'll have to wait and see if it works.

5) I might just look in the editor thingy... wish me luck

6) Denansdor - well - it was the shogunate era: Way more wealth, so I'm guessing that talents were more common back then. Besides, considering all the other fun things the circle found in the vaults then a stack of talents doesn't seem to be that out of place

As for thinking big: Thank you. Sadly I am Forever-GM, so I've yet to find anyone who can/wants to ST an exalted game. I've read nearly every splat in 2e and a number of 1e - I know almost all the fluff - so I can very easily scale my epicness. But ya, that sounds awesome what your group did too :)

Oh, and as for eclipses and their oath-breaking retributions - there is a charm that lets them both know when a given oath is broken and also lets them choose what the punishment should be. Lets just assume that Cash knows that. Sunrise equally has the one that makes her anima light into real sunlight - both as essence 4... but I'm kinda playing fast and loose with the mechanics for the story's sake: I'm more for awesome than keeping strictly to RAW for character progression, although I do try to keep the training times and willpower expenditures realistic (...why Shimmer can't cloud up all the time)

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Its perfectly legit charms - they're in the lunar splat under stamina charms.

Littlepip had been frightened by going into what appeared to be darkness of the vault

I groaned again. :facehoof:

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I had to

Just wait until the circle comes across ancient first age underground manses where the solars and lunars conducted crazy social experiments - some of them possibly even still running today :pinkiecrazy:

Its part of what I love about exalted: You can put anything in it - and it'd still make sense

I’ve been told that at least one or two deathlords might stand to be executed by the neverborn for incompetence…

If only it were that easy, BoRM, if only it were that easy.

I mean, as shown by the creation of The Scarlet Phoenix Astride the World, the Neverborn can't simply make new Deathlords, and they lose a lot of the Deathlord's power if they try to scavenge an existing Deathlord.

This is likely why the Black Heron was bound to the First and Forsaken Lion after she made Creation (and Heaven) aware of the existence of the Deathlords, and why Faffle was fused into his armor and banned from Stygia after inciting the Balorian Crusade. Annihilating the Deathlords wouldn't have done He Who Holds In Thrall any good.

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