I really liked the final line, that was cute.

The complaint I have is that this should have been proofed better. Lots of small misspellings (Dssh, Twiloght, Spitfore) throughout. Given the story is ever so slightly over 500 words, that just looks bad.

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I apologize for that. My phone can be a little crappy at times. I will return to it with a more refined eye. Thanks for the critique!

frankly too short for my tastes.

I'm sorry for taking so long those of you who still care. I needed to do so soul searching. As always be sure to leave me a comment about what you liked or didn't like about this chapter. Every little critique helps, whether it be positive or negative, and thanks for reading my stories.

You think there are people who don't care? Outrageous, I say!

Really liked it; cute, short, and other good stuff, only need editing
Maybe i will find time to reread this one, and will point the things out
Good luck