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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So! Why does this have so many downvotes...
4587964 For one thing, the description said Fallout Equestria was "award winning". What award could it possibly win? Most Angsty Horsewords of 2012?
Judgning by tags and story description, main pony will find a human. But given that this is 15 years after S&R, it's not really the Fallout Equestria world we enjoy.
4587964
I would have to say because -
1. It's a Fallout: Equestria spinoff. People are sick of those.
2. The yawn inducing encyclopedia-style opening.
3. The fact that if you got past those paragraphs, it's incredibly difficult to tell what's going on.
4. Completely Random Capitalization.
You should work on the formatting. I don't mean your pacing or your paragraphs are bad or something like that, I mean you should do space lines instread of just indenting the next paragraph. This is in no way a book, you don't need to save costs by saving paper, nor do we have pages at all. We've got only one page, which should be spaced reasonable. Like that:
or
As for the points people might dislike about this story:
- the alien/human scene at the end. And your human tag in general. The first seems so out of place in this moment and the second is something not liked in FoE in general. I can't give you any advise apart from removing the humans, but I don't know how important they are to your story.
- your OC, Nopony Knows: you portry him as more than just overpowered, the only way he could be stronger is if he would be an alicorn. I mean, you say he's a scavenger. That's fine to most people. A scavenger who can protect himself, that's even better, but a scavenger
and the worst thing is for some reason he's able to actually do all this. He's a scavenger, not a soldier. In one sentence you talk about his merchant barding and the next says he's "Lieutenant Nopony Knows". And with his 15 years (which is, taking the word of one of his fellow soldiers and the raider, still a kid's age) he's already lieutenant?
I thought he was a trader!
- is there anypony even close to his skills with guns? I mean, he basicly takes that village on his own and when engaged by raiders he just stands there and kills all of them in a few eyeblinks.
While such things can be made (I did it myself in my story one time) it has to be for a reason, just not to make the MC look badass. If he would be a geneticly engineered super soldier or trained his entire life to become accurate like this that could be accepted, but you tell us basicly: "he's just that good"
But exactly that happened to him.
- stuff like
That whole talk about society and filth makes Nopony seem so arrogant and it sounds like a justification any of the "evil ones" (like terrorists or nazis in movies etc.) give to justify whatever they're doing . He disgusts me. I don't want to read about a character like this in first person. In 3rd person maybe because I wouldn't have to hear his thoughts all the time, but this?
- there are time-shifts in your narration, sometimes it's present tense, sometimes past tense. This shouldn't happen.
General advice: just make your character less overpowered and things should turn out better.
4588099
Well, I wouldn't say that. There are still many spin-offs (and their number still grows and grows), most of which are quite successful. Of course not so successful like two years ago, but no indication of people being sick of it.
4587964 the problem is that this story is now stigmatized with the many downvotes. The story might not be terrible, but unless the author brings out a really amazing next chapter, the red stream will continue. Just because of the previous downvotes. Sadly it is like that.
I'm sorry, but this story is pretty bad.
Character is too OP, is arrogant, is fifteen years old and already a master of everything. He shows no remorse, no kindness for someone trying to fight the Good Fight. If anything, the OC is a terribad villain in the making.
Also, figure out what your character is before you start changing his profession as the story lurches along.
Fifteen dislikes and not a single like. That's a record
Like, Like (Insert more likes here)