Chapter 1 : prophecy of the seventh element
The prophecy of the Seventh Element
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Celestia was sitting on her throne when the door to the throne room opened. A tall stallion walked in. He was an alicorn, with a chocolate brown color for his coat and a golden color for his mane and tail. His cutie mark was a golden book, a silver quill next to it.
"Cousin Prophecy, what brings you here?" Celestia asked happily.
"I am here to tell you of a... Disturbing vision I had a night ago." He said, levitating a book over to her.
Celestia raised her eyebrow. "Like the one that you showed me telling me about Twilight Sparkle and how she would spread peace, friendship, and harmony all over Equestria? Or like the one you pranked me with, telling me that i would be as big as an elephant while I was eating a cake on my birthday?"
"I'm sure that it's not a prank book." Prophecy chuckled, remembering that day fondly. "This was written with special ink like the one about Princess Twilight. This ink was given to me by Discord, so only you and I can see it."
Celestia opened the book, and read out loud what was in it.
A pony who lives in Cloverfornia will come. Her mane style is like Twilight Sparkle, her tail curves out like Twilight's but one strain curves the opposite way,and she is the lost element. An enemy of hers will join Queen Chrysalis, and bring back a great evil, the King of Shadows. He will be brought with sombra shards.
Celestia looked at the page, shocked. The prophecy was shorter than Twilight's, which did not bode well.
" I think I might know who she is?" Princess Celestia questioned herself.
Celestia's horn glowed with her golden Aura and levitated the book back to Prophecy, then used his magic to take hold of the book and made the book disappear.
" You do?" Prophecy said with a puzzled look on his face.
" Yes I do, she was one of the students at the School for gifted Unicorns. Hmmm...." Princess Celestia paused for a moment trying to think of the mares name.
" I think her name is Starlight?" guessed Celestia.
Prophecy rolled his eyes, "Her name is actually is Twilight Shine or some of her friends call her Midnight Shine." Prophecy corrected with a smirk.
Prophecy started to think back to the time when Twilight Shine or Midnight his student/assistant. He had remembered the time when he taught her how to cast Certain spells that he only knows. He would even sometimes show a little bit of the future and past ( but not hers). Prophecy was then interrupted by Celestia.
"Then we shall send Twilight Shine a letter that she should go to ponyville." Said Celestia
"That sounds like a good idea. Buuut..." Prophecy agreed with Celestia , but her idea had one problem.
Prophecy raised his left eyebrow and spoke "Umm Tia don't you think...its a little too rational?" Prophecy questioned Celestia.
"What do you mean to rational?" Celestia questioned.
Prophecy sighed and then spoke. "Remember last time you rushed it too fast with Sunset Shimmer. You gave her too much information, that she became a corrupted with knowledge and power. You had filled her up hopes and dreams because you told her that her you turn her into an alicorn."
Celestia had ignored Prophecy and continued writing the letter. Celestia had finished writing the letter, she then rolls it up and stamped it with a red seal with her cutie mark on it.
" Oh Celestia...You are stubborn as a mule." Prophecy sighed.
"Oh and Tia, I want you to give this to her in your letter." Prophecy said as he slowly levitated a blue gem and gave it to Celestia.
" I am going to need to send this letter." Celestia said. Celestia had called one of her royal guards to come over to her throne. The guard then left his post and walked towards Celestia's throne. Celestia had told the guard to go get one of the best mailmare in all of equestria. The guard had bowed and exited the castle.
"Prophecy, isn't this the lost element?" Celestia asked as she took the blue gem. She then levitated a piece of parchment paper, and taped the gem to the parchment paper.
" yes it is. Now I have to go now bye." Prophecy waved his left hoof at Celestia and teleported away into his secret chambers.
When Prophecy teleported away Derpy had came through the castle doors with her mail bag on her back. Derpy walked Towards Celestia and bowed. " Princess Celestia, i tried to come as fast as i could when one of your Castle guards told me that you need me." Derpy said exhaustedly
" Do you know where Twilight Shine lives?" Celestia asked.
" Of course I do. Twilight Shine and I are like best friends. But why are you asking me if i know where she lives?" Derpy replied as she got up from her bowing position.
" it is because I need you to give her this letter." Celestia said and gave Derpy the letter.
Derpy then grabbed the letter with her right hoof and puts it in her mail bag. Derpy then replied, "Okay princess Celestia, i will give her your letter"
Derpy then starts to walk towards the castle door, as derpy walks towards the door two of the royal guard unicorns had used their light blue aurora to open the castle doors. Derpy then thanks them for opening the door for her, derpy then exist the castle and she starts to fly to Twilight Shine's home.
_________________________________________________
Meanwhile at Queen Crystallises kingdom.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Queen Chrysalis kingdom was old, there were no doors, the roof had a big hole, and there were cobwebs everywhere. In the castle Queen Chrysalis was pondering on her pitch black throne with crater like holes in it 'How can I bring back king Sombra' Queen Chrysalis thought.
"Buck, had cheese hole came back yet?" Queen Chrysalis grumbled.
Buck was Crystallized top changeling guard, he was taller than the other changelings, the second smartest, and his voice sound just like Discord's but deep.
A castle guard Pegasus had flown through the gigantic hole thole in the roof.
"Not yet my quee.. A castle guard pony? What is he doing here?!" Buck growled with anger.
" No need to worry buck. You know Cheese Hole, he alwayss forgets to get rid of his ridiculous disguises," Crystalis chuckled.
Soon Cheese Hole, had landed and bowed to his queen. " My queen I have good news and bad news" Cheese Hole said.
Queen Chrysalis popped up like a daisy when she heard the good news part. " first give me the good news, the bad news, and get rid of that ridiculous castle guard disguise. It discuses me" Crystalis had made a disgusted face.
"The good news iss, iss that a new evil from Canterlot would come, and bring back the king of sshadowss with sombra shards. The bad news is that there is a seventh element. The element of support."
"What! A Seventh Element ,That's impossible!" Crystalis shouted as she pounded her left hoof on the thrones armrest.
" I thought I turned all of the [1]occult winged ponies into changelings?!" Queen Chrysalis shouted immensely. Her had eyes turned ruby red from rage.
" Ddddiint... Taboo the wize chanegling told you that... one day a special pony with wings that sparkle like Luna's mane when she opens them. Will stop you from bringing King Sombra back from the depths of the forgotten shadows."
" Do not remind me Cheese Hole!!" Queen Chrysalis scolded.
"Iii'm Sorry my Queen. Aaa..lso Celestia is writing her a letter." cheese Hole said with a little fear in his voice.
"Cheeses Hole you are dismiss to do your changeling guard duties" Chrysalis said as she pointed to the entrance of the castle of where he should guard.
"Hmmmmm...I think I would do the same thing what Celestia is doing." Chrysalis said
"But how would I find thiss... Pony?" Queen Chrysalis thought out loud.
So When Buck heard that, he then started to move from his post. Queen Chrysalis only lets buck move from his post because he is the captain of the changeling guards. When Buck started to walk, his armor started to make a clunking noise as he walked over to Crystalis's throne and bowed.
"My queen I don't want to be rude... But can't you sense her 'darkness'?" Buck questioned.
"Hmmm...I know how I could find her, I could just sense her darkness like how I could sense love! How come I didn't think of this earlier?!" Queen Chrysalis shouted with glee. Chrysalis had gotten up from her throne and stood on all fours.
" Buck, you don't forget to go back to your post." Crystalis said as she shooed him away with her left hoof.
Buck then started to walk back to his post which was at the back of the castle behind queen Chrysalises throne and had a creepy life like changeling statues that were a lined in the hallways . 'Really just really, I just said that' buck thought as he faced hoof behind queen Chrysalises back as he had finally made it back to his post. At his post he had found a blackish greenish gem and levitated in his navy blue aurora. 'Hey I have finally found my communication gem! Hmm... maybe I could give it to the queen Chrysalis? So she could communicate with the pony instead of writing a letter Buck.' Though. Since Buck didn't want to walk back to the throne, he had teleported himself instead. He had teleported right in front of Queen Chrysalis. She was about to levitate a piece of parchment paper, but Buck had interrupted.
"How about you send this instead." Buck suggested. Buck then started to levitate the gem with his dark blue aura towards Queen Chrysalis, the her green aurora had slowly wrapped around the gem. Queen Chrysalis then started to conjure a spell to look for the made. Queen Chrysalis had finally found her and teleported the gem to her. Queen Chrysalis then took her gem out of her green saddle and waited for the mare to find it in her saddle bag.
_________________________________________________
Canterlot
~~~~~~~~
Derby had finally made it to her friends door. Derby then Nock's on the door. The door then started to glow with a blue aurora and the door opens.
"Hey Ditzy, what brings you here." Twilight Shine had greeted derby and told Derpy to come right in her house.
"Finally, somepony calls me by nickname!" Derpy was relieved that her friend called her Ditzy instead of Derpy.
"Of course I would call you by your nickname. I knew that you prefer being called by your nickname. Ooh Derby, I call you Ditzy like every day." Twilight Shine said giggling as she closes the door with her magic.
"Oh also Midnight, I came here to give you a letter from Celestia." Derby replied to Twilight Shine
Derby then opens her mail bag and takes out the rolled up letter and hoofs it to Twilight Shine. Twilight shine then levitates the rolled up letter with her magic and unravels it and read:
Dear Twilight Shine(Midnight Shine),
I had discovered that you are the lost seventh element, the element of support. Also an evil ruler Who lurks in the Shadows Would be brought back to life with sombra Shards. I would like you to go Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends at her Castle at Ponyville. You must help them destroy the Sombra shards before Queen Chrysalis's new recruit gets it before you and Princess Twilight Sparkle's friends.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Twilight Shine was shocked to see what was in the letter. The last element of harmony, the element of support.
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So here is the first chapter.
So it might be a little short. But I hope you enjoy it
i711.photobucket.com/albums/ww118/AAKRON/nope-1_zpsea399929.gif
Please be a troll fic....
4481777
How is that possible?
- 7th element story.
- OC is an Alicorn.
- colors to show who is speaking.
- multiple misspellings of the same word.
- a seeming desire to include unnecessary detail.
I swear the only thing missing is her having a name like "super kawaii pegasister gal who's better than Rainbow Dash" or something equally silly.
This story is either a rather obvious trollfic or the result of a diseased mind.
4482382
A good troll knows when to play dumb and to reel in more fish. It's a lot easier than most people believe but they want to shoot their wad too soon.
And it's a second attempt. Compare this story to the first story this person wrote. Notice the lack of multiple colors and the competent spelling in that one. Notice how she is able to spell "Celestia" and uses the same spelling throughout the story. Then look back on this one.
I'm not 100% sure, but this reads like a trollfic.
4482360 Please. That will be fixed, or at least the first chapter! Editor mind set, GO! That, and I actually volunteered to edit it. It has potential.
4482661 ... Sure. OK, well, let me actually go finish editing! Procrastination, and the internet distracting you are real problems! ... That, and I'm lazy.
4482360 it's like twilight mom name
Except I put twilight sparkle's and shining Armors name together
4482480
We'll see. I'm still not convinced this is legitimate though.
4482631
So you're going to change all that and I don't just mean in a cosmetic sense? 7th element stories and those where the OC is a human turned into an Alicorn are never well received on this site. If you're looking to edit this, you need to get rid of both of those ideas which effectively kills the idea for this story.
4482822
Yeah I got that, but it still begs the question why would you do such a thing? I'd suggest coming up with something a little more original.
4485471 Nah, those are the plot points! Those stay. Nah, I'm fixing description and stuff like that!
4485521
So in other words you're not exactly fixing anything so much as slapping a new coat of paint on it and calling it something new.
Do you honestly think that's going to make any real difference?
4485537 okay then. If you know what to do, then help 4485521 with the editing.
4485537 Well, you do realize I can't do anything to change the story? I'm not the author.
4485819 Thanks... I guess
4485819 that is really rude!
4487222
And yet you responded to it while deleting my comment.
Stay classy.
Nope nope nope nope
4487222
No, deleting comments is rude.
4543578
let me show you what he posted, and why I deleted the commit.
4543674
5056883 Thanks this made my day. Oh and by the way I am a girl. Also thanks again for helping out with this situation. I felt realy bummed out when I first posted the story. Thanx again.
5056883 oh u should link the commenters names to it so they could read what u posted.
4482360
And I think it's a very good story that doesn't deserve all this hate from you and others! 
It's not like you actually wrote a story yet, so don't try to stop Twilight Shine from being awesome! 
And why is she getting so many thumbs down on her comments? She's just standing up for herself. Maybe I'll get alot of thumbs down for this too, if anyone actually cares......
Oh gosh, this girl tried at least!
And don't respond if you're just going to try to make me feel bad for helping someone else
6810516 thanks! I needed that a lot. I might redo it, but keep the same story line.
I was reading another story when I stumbled upon yours, and I was wondering, "how has this story gotten so many dislikes?"
Then I actually read the story.
I'm guessing you haven't written much, so I'm not going to hate on you and say this is worthless. After all, you have to keep on practicing, even when others drag you down.
A few things I feel you should really pay attention to, though:
- The concept of having a seventh element and an evil being released is about as clichè as these stories get. This isn't necessarily a bad thing; I've seen many stories with lackluster concept but great execution, and I'd read those any day over an original, poorly-written story.
That brings me to my second point.
- Are you paying attention to what you're writing? I know that's a really harsh thing to say, but it's really important to read what you write, and hopefully ask your own questions on how to improve your story. First drafts are always worse than final drafts, so don't be intimidated if you see a lot of problems. Simply get to work fixing them. It'll be hard, but worth it, and you'll learn from correcting your own writing.
On the same topic, I could try to correct each and every issue, but you might not want to read so much, and the next chapter you write will probably have the exact same issues.
So, instead, I'm asking you to pay attention to what you write.
(I'm told it also helps to read others' fics and analyze how they wrote.)
Finally, please please PLEASE do not give up on writing! Honestly, most of what you're going to write at first is going to be really bad and get little attention or many dislikes. But if you let it get to you personally, instead of as a writer, you won't ever get any better.
Wow, sorry for the wall of text! But I hope you keep writing and maybe one day you'll be a great writer.
Tl;dr: Unoriginal concept doesn't matter if you write well. Writing well depends on looking at what you have written and improving it. Don't give up and you'll become better.
Sorry for stirring up a story a hundred weeks old.
7179957 It's okay. This story is just a reminder of the mistake I had made in the beginning. I'm might just put it on cancelled and try to work on a different story, but yeah thanks for the support. Also, I might try writing another story, but better then this one. Hopefully.
7185638 OK! You don't have to continue this if you don't want to. You're the author.
But if you need any help, tell me. I can help you if you want (though I'm not good at editing myself).
7190623 Thank you I'll let you know.