The gang a pony called "Stripes" is in has been hired to "obtain" gems from the gang that the Mayor of Ponyville obtains her gems from. Their leader, Snow Luck, doesn't inform her gang of very much, and on top of that one of her members seems to have struck a deal with the Mayor. When five plans all collide, who will come out top dog?
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Mayor Mare story? never enough of them so will check it out later.
If it hasnt got any actual sex maybe put teen instead.
398018 Actually, Thinking about it at school today, I realized. "Hmm, Innuendo, Gang wars, two rival factions openly violent against each other represented by Red and Blue...The fact that those groups, while shortened to Flame and Snow, are "Snow Crypt" and "Flame Blood"...." I think I crossed the line somewhere. I'm not sure where, though.
Edit: and then I realize, the writing for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the old Batman cartoon, in some parts, is about on-par with what I'm writing.
399317
Yeah Teen just to be sure, looking back at some of the stuff happening in our favorite cartoons now your shocked when you see it.
The first chapter isnt even teen if you ask me.
Interesting story and ill keep watching it.
Second chapter before Axl's story get a second chapter because...
1) It's easier to write for ponies
and
2) The initial front-page for this was early morning. Early morning isn't a popular time for internet browsing.
Also, Woohoo, I get to write for the Mayor again. In addition, I get to add her to the major character list after next chapter.
Disello never introduced himself so unless she knew him from before it would have been better to not mention his name like that?
She probably knew him from before since it looks like he uses such "small" gangs for doing his dirty work, but could still have been something like "turned out the client was Disello, a long time costumer of their "services" " or something like that.
Rather then just start using his name out of the blue.
406852
In fact, how did I not pick up on that?
....Oh, Hey, I did start using his name.
Thing is, Disello's my friend.
And Editor.
Why/how did he not pick up on that?
I shall edit that now.
Thanks fer pointing it out.
All right, new chapter's up and the word count finally exceeds Peace Gear's word count for that one's chapter one.
I was kinda hoping that my word count would be just short of the peace gear's word count. I wanted to write for the mayor more.
So. Yeah. No more updates until "Peace Gear - Axl" updates.
You suddenly inserted yourself in the story
"Vocal said, helping the mayor with her collar and ascot."
And if his plans dont mess with the plans of the mayor's he has himself a sweet sweet deal indeed, but they probably do huh
420793
That's what I get for working on six projects at once.
Thanks for catching that. Disello didn't catch it either....
I really need to get a different editor for each of my different projects.
....And, I just remembered.... I ran it by 3 of my other friends, asking if they saw anything wrong with it...
They didn't either.
Ill keep looking for errors in this story for you if you want.
it not being a friend and rather someone who enjoys the story for what it is can have its benefits
432442 That would be nice.
I'll finally have someone who has no background knowledge of what's going on beyond this story, and will be able to catch the mistakes.
Oh, and, uh.... Sorry if I'm causing you too much trouble.
432472
Its no problem at all lol
When i see something that i think is wrong but im not sure i go back and check the chapters before.
And im aware that this is a self insert so his name is probably Vocal, but it isnt mentioned anywhere (your avatar/ponysona being the same as the character here)