While in the Everfree Forest, Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders are attacked by a timberwolf pack. They are saved by a cloaked pony named Noble Valor, but he is injured in the process. He is taken to Ponyville for rest and recuperation for his injuries. What will happen when he's healed?
Updates planned. (Takes place around Season 4 continuity-wise)
Artwork belongs to Cyberdrace. Check out his/her page.
For any interested, here is what the eponymous stallion looks like (basically): http://noblevalor.deviantart.com/art/Noble-Valor-basically-476728021
Chapters (17)
This is a pretty interesting story. Good concept. Grammar is ok. I'll have to see how this story will turn out.
Interesting start. I would have liked to see Spike breathe some fire to scare off one timberwolf though.
4256322 Look at the story 'One Against All' if you wish to see Spike breathe fire and kick tail. It is worth it.
I like the first chapter. But! I think the very beginning, where you first mention Noble Valor, should be a seperate prologue and detail the events of the Summer Sun Celebration. That way you introduce the protagonist, and give the reader an idea why they are so depressed/happy/nervous/etc.
I'm still looking this story over, but that is the first thig that simply makes me crook my head sideways and wonder, Why?
4541387 That was the idea. I had hoped it would encourage people to read further to find out. Given my view count, you can see how well that worked.
However there are quite a few reasons why he is the way he is.
Awesome story
keep up the good work
4567542 Aww, thanks
You've critiqued my story so it's only fair I critique yours. The way it starts out is kind of confusing. No real reason for why Noble is wanting to be alone. I assume you answer this later but this does cause a problem for a first reader. Also, you use "cloaked figure" so much that it is rather annoying and repetitive. Just my personal thoughts on this one. In my stories, I try to avoid using the same name, pronoun, or other word to refer to a character for too long to avoid such repetitiveness. I'll be sure to read the rest but that's what I have for the first chapter. Pretty good so far.
4595587 You may have a point and, if I could think of a way to have a pronoun for something to keep its anonymity, I'd alter it.
Good beginning. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of it.
which of the pony races is Noble a member of!?
4721896 He's an earth pony. Sorry, I thought I covered that.
4723497
I thought he was, I just wished to clarify.
Oh yeah, Always when the hero says his name something unexpected happens XD
5151166 Funny, aside from Captain Jack Sparrow, I was unaware it was a recurring theme. Hope you are enjoying the story so far.
5151619 Yah can bet that i am Liking it! Thank yah for answering my coment before
5152054 The way I see it, if someone thinks enough of my work to comment on it, the least I can do is reply. It's just good form after all.
5152083 Oky dokye dude, I am going to read again and coment this time Ok???
sorri for letting you waiting
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww crusader are sooooooooo cute.............Resist...........The need of..............Huging they..............NEED HUG SOMETHING...........
5153238 Yeah, I'm glad I could do them justice. I like writing for kids. (Personally, my favorite chapter involving them is Chapter 10. It involves a newspaper, a field of rocks and the start of a game of tag.) And I just woke up myself, so no worries mate.
This is great. Keep it up
5202956 Well, thanks. The new chapter is already in the works. (I must admit I am a bit surprised how willingly everyone is taking Rainbow Dash, questionably the fastest Pegasus ever, losing a contest of speed and agility to an earth pony. I at least expected a question or two, but I'll not complain too loudly at the results.
)
5203132 nice cant wait.
5152054 We are the same character.
If somebody gets me the cover art but with a spike ready to trounce the wolf, I can upload a story.
Wait, I cant, because there are two stories before it...
I will read this soon.
5206244 Well,I only found this art through about twenty minutes of sifting through 'timberwolf art searches' (Was worth it though!)
Hope you enjoy the story so far!
5208069 I do.