The Counterfeit Octavia

by Diamond Sparkle

Trapped

"You can go out if you want to, but only in disguise. The other ponies would never accept that you had come back again. They would either find out that you were a changeling, or think you were some horrible dead thing raised through necromancy, and panic or worse." Vinyl managed to smile as she looked at the faux Octavia in front of her and forced herself to think of her as the real thing. Death itself could not separate us, nor the darkness of the grave. Our love will always keep us together. When I get back to her I'll help her recover from her memory loss, and then I'll have my Tavi back again, just like old times. Just like old times. As she did so, her love poured out a lot faster then normal, rapidly filling both the love sacs of the changeling. The first smaller sac acted as a stomach for the changeling itself, whilst the second sac was a larger hive stomach, meant to provide extra love for the changeling's Hive. Both soon got as full as they could to the point that they had to be closed to new love. Goodbye, my love, I need to go to work for a while, making new music for my club. They'll be very happy to see me back." She kissed *Octavia* goodbye and left the house, leaving her spare house key where the changeling could see it.

As soon as she had gone, the changeling decided to shift shape into that of a pegasus but nothing happened. There was no burst of green flame, and no shape change. She tried to change several more times, into unicorns, earth ponies, pegasui, griffins, and even back into her true shape. Panicking, her mind went back to when she was young and was being taught in her Hive's school about all the important things that Changelings should know, and to a lesson about Changeling illnesses. Mr Opaque, her favourite teacher, was giving the lesson. "You should never totally fill both of your love stomachs unless in a true emergency when you don't know where your next meal of love is going to come from. Why, you might ask? Surely a changeling should gather as much love as he or she possibly can, both to consume and for the Hive? Because if both stomachs are totally filled, it often happens that said changeling gets stuck in the shape that they are in a the time, unable to change into any other shape, even their own, until a bit of that love has been properly digested. Which is not really a situation that you want to find yourself in when out there harvesting in the field."

I'm stuck...stuck fast in this shape at least for now. I wish I had paid a lot more attention to Mr Opaque's lessons. And Vinyl is right. In this shape I'm a dead pony walking. If I went out like this I would either panic everypony or they would find out my secret. So for now at least I can't leave the house. I don't want to make Vinyl angry with me or get chased out of town by an angry mob who think that I'm undead. She decided to try and learn how to play the fiddle, but the result would have drawn boos from the most well behaved crowd, if a crowd or indeed anypony else had been around to hear it. Why of all the ponies to shape shift into did I have to choose a dead one? One that was not only dead but dead and buried as well. Because of the rich love I knew I could get from the beautiful, intelligent Vinyl Scratch . This love that I carry in my hive stomach, even second hand, would do my Hive a world of good if only I could get to the Hive, but I'm trapped in the form of an earth pony, and without wings there is no way that I could ever get there and back in time. I feel like a mouse that squeezed into a granary, ate as much as it could and too late found itself too fat to get out again. My greed has grounded me.

She decided to make some use of the time without Vinyl by tracking down Octavia's diary and spending a while reading it from cover to cover, to help her learn how to be as Octaviaish as possible. Then a thought came to her. Vinyl knows who I am, and yet she still accepts me as her Octavia, as the love of her life. And as long as she is still filling me with rich warm lovely love, it's going to be impossible to diet enough to regain my ability to shift shape. Which would mean that I won't be able to leave the house by day without panicking every pony around me. Either they'll find out that I'm a changeling and that won't go down well, or they'll think that I'm one of the undead. When Vinyl came back she found her favourite food set out on the table for her, prepared just right, and her new *Octavia* sitting there with her legs spread wide open invitingly.

She grinned, and greeted the changeling with a kiss. "This is really just like old times. But you need to change when in public into a pony shape of your own so that you can leave the house without freaking everypony out."

"That's the problem," *Octavia* replied. "I gorged myself on your love so much that I'm too full to change shape, until I've gone on a diet. Only that will get me change shape again. But your love is so delicious that it's hard to resist gorging on it, it's that good."

Comments

[GIGA-XISBASS]

Interesting thing there about the love stomachs. That might prove problematic later on for Octyling. XD

[Gdenofa]

Cool concept with the two stomach chambers for changelings. At this rate of feeding, this changeling isn't going anywhere. XD

Interesting and fun story. Paragraph spacing and missed quotations could use a bit fixing, but nothing major to ruin the flow of the story.

[Cotton Fluff]

4268047
A neat concept you have here Diamond Sparkle, and one I look forward to reading more of in the future. I would agree with deli73 in saying that the story did feel a little rushed and "off" so far. Octavia is barely in the ground when the changeling comes in to replace her, and the whole arrangement between the two is a little quick to form I feel. To me, and I'm not sure if deli73 would agree, what felt "off" about the story was Vinyl's dialogue.

For instance:

What if this is a plot to rob or murder me or to undermine Equestria in some way?

The first part is good, Vinyl would be a bit concerned about herself, but I don't think Vinyl is the type of mare to jump to the conclusion that this might be a larger plot to "undermine Equestria". Especially if this story is set before the invasion.

Otherwise I will have to reject your offer and deny you my love.

The last part seems off to me again, 'deny you my love'? Really? That line sounds like something from a cheesy romance novel.

I'll start teaching you the basics of what I call Taviness,

This was good, this sounds like the Vinyl one would expect.

Of course, one's take on Vinyl's character is subjective, your Vinyl may (and seems to) be different than the general fandom's version of her. If you are going for a more stereotypical version of Vinyl, you may want to read some other Vinyl and Octavia fics and get a sense for how those authors write Vinyl's dialogue.

With the upcoming chapters it would be great to see a slower pace to the story, with changeling Octavia having to learn 'Taviness' and Vinyl teaching her. There's a lot of potential for character and even relationship building here between the two, and a bit of conflict (Changeling Octavia shouldn't pick up on everything and be perfect right away, to Vinyl's frustration). You've also got the opportunity for worldbuilding, with the Changeling telling Vinyl more about their species either in conversation (like you have been doing) or letting details slip (perhaps during a heated conversation).

If you are looking for an editor, you could check out this group: Editors-R-Us

[Scriblits Talo]

I really loved this, and look forward to more ❤️