"Nick, why? Why me?"
"I-I...Jesus, I don't know! I was just so alone and you were there and you-you didn't run from me. You stayed and helped me. It would only make sense for me to...I'm sorry please don't hate me."
Nick was a bitter man. Keyword was bitter. He isn't dead, no far from it, he is alive and well in Equestria.
After atypical night of drinking alone at the bar, Nick buys and old man dinner and well... things went downhill from there. Waking up in a library, he finds himself surrounded by....Ponies? Nick tries to adjust to his new life but lets just say not everything goes his way. The following is a tale of anger, sorrow, compassion and hate.
And it all boils down to one thing; "Please don't hate me."
I suck at descriptions, just give it a go, eh?
Only one chapter so far, so there's not much to go off of. Will the protagonist be such a negative nancy throughout the whole story?
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No, too predictable. For the first few chapters Nick will be a dick, but that's to be expected.
Human that hates humanity; not exactly an auspicious (or novel) start. I liked your characterization of Discord, though:
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True, but remember, Nick is a bitter guy. He's just unhappy and seeing others happy irritates him. That being said, he rarely goes out, kind of a hermit, he'd rather be bitter and alone then try to socialize.
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That much is understandable, but it's a long way from that to the completely misanthropic "I was thinking about the human race, how I loathe it how I wish it was gone."
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Well, yeah. Nicks a bit complicated. He has trouble relating to people, like to the point where it's almost like he has aspergers-and I am in no way shape or form making fun of Asperger Syndrome, I know it is a serious condition- but his interpesonal skills suck. He's mainly bitter that he is an outcast and wishes the world was just him so he would have a reason to feel alone.
But a better explanation will be in chapter two.
So far so good :Y
use them well!
Only real thing I would like to say is that the part after Nick helps the hobo, it felt too fast paced, it felt as if you needed some sort of pauses inbetween so that the readers could take it in. However, looking at your comments, you seem to know what you're talking about :D
-Liked & Faved, I am quite intrigued as to where this will go
+15 bro points
When's the next chapter coming?
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not too sure, i have been really busy with work so I havent been able to start it yet,but as soon as I get the time I will