Pony Rap Battlez

by JasonCider

The Crew VS The Flim Flam Brothers

Jason was finally able to fall asleep from a long days work, when he awoke to yelling from outside.

"Every fucking time. Every FUCKING Time that I try to go to sleep, these mother fuckers are so fucking persistent on finding out who's better, that they keep me awake. Isn't Ponyville the capital of Peace and Harmony in Equestria after we defeated Night Mare Moon?" Jason slowly gets up and walks to his window. "Can you guys keep it down until tomorrow? This is kinda pissing me off."

"Maybe you shouldn't of made it so easy to settle problems." Pinkie Pie yelled from the street below. "Oh, Jason. Speaking of which. Can you come down here and help us out? The Flim Flam Brothers are back and they said that they were better than The Crew. We should show them how their wrong!"

"Do they have a third member?" Jason asked.

"We don't need a third member to show the pathetic Crew how much they don't compare to The Flim Flam Brothers." Flim yelled with confidence. His brother shakes his head.

"Exactly! We can go two on three!" Jason shakes his head angry.

"Okay, normally, I would rip your tongue out for talking shit about the Crew, but I'm way to fucking tired and I don't do two on three. Maybe you guys should just go to hell. I'll meet you guys there." Pinkie Pie nods her head.

"Let's go guys, you heard him." Pinkie started to walk away but no one fallowed. "Guys?"

"He was being sarcastic Pinkie." Vinyl said with her hoof over her face.

"OOOOH! Boooooo." Pinkie Pie yelled. Jason starts to walk away.

"Even Jason, the leader of your miserable crew, is to scared to rap battle Us." Flim yelled and Jason stops in his tracks.

"What did you say?" Jason asked as nicely as he could.

"Maybe you two should follow in his hoofsteps, and run with your tails between your legs." Flam Joked.

"I'll be right down there. Pinkie Pie, you know what to do," He throws Pinkie Pie his camcorder. She catches it and turns it on.

PONY RAP BATTLEZ!

THE CREW!

VS

THE FLIM FLAM BROTHERS!

BEGIN

The Crew is back, like we would be gone for long.
You just fucked up, let me show you what went wrong.
The Crew is undefeated, how are you gonna win?
You're gonna drop bombs? Bro you better think again.
Jason? Where are you? We need you here.
Why Vinyl? There's nothing to fear.
We're winning, I could tell, can you just fathom?
You're gonna disappear like your Danny Phantom.
No family, friends, no one to notice that they're dead.
We're gonna slit your throat and rip off your head.
Calm Down Pinkie we don't want to go crazy.
I think you're right. Probably? Maybe.
You'll be wondering like derpy at the end of the song
Just talking to yourself.
I just don't know what went wrong!

Is this all you got from the so called best?
My expectations weren't high, but you two did even less.
Let's do this brother. I just can't wait.
The Flim Flam brothers always win, and it's just fate.
Pinkie Pie, the craziest member of The Crew.
Addicted to Cocaine when she was about two.
Sad, isn't it? Having to watch your family die.
It sure effected your sister, what's her name? Mod Pie?
She changed since that night, she was never quite the same.
Because she knew how her sister is INSANE!
And Vinyl Scratch, don't think that we didn't forget about you.
What do you think that we know? What can be true?
Like the colts you cheated on, are always on your mind.
You even cheated on Jason, once upon a time.
We know everything about you, when you know nothing about us.
You're nothing to us, Nothing but dust.

"Speaking of which, where is Jason?" Pinkie Pie asked. A strange black mist flows out from Jason's house.

"He loves to make an entrance." Vinyl laughed.
.
You better get out before I fucking find you.
There’s a Knife in my hand, and I’m huntin’ to blind you.
You know what this calls for? It’s party time.
People gather around. They love the wicked parties of mine
I got you; tie you up, so you can’t leave.
This is your last hours alive, and you can believe me.
Tears are rolling down your face, it's only getting sadder.
I’m ripping out your organs. Wow, these jokes are only getting bladder.
I’m hungry for some cupcakes, I got a family recipe.
I’ll be fair, you can even have a piece of me.
You Passed out from blood loss, now you can hear my attitude.
How dare you sleep during a party, you know that’s rude!
One adrenaline shot should do the trick.
Wake up you half dead, wanna-be prick!
It ruined my appetite and I almost fainted.
I’m gonna get sick, their meat was tainted.

"Shot's fired Jason!" Vinyl joked.

"WOW! How are the Flim Flam Brothers Gonna recover from that?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"They can't." Jason said plainly. "They're not even here."

"Oh...okay...well then. Who won? Who's next You decide! PONY RAP BATTLEZ! Jason, how do you turn this thing of--" Pinkie Pie turns the camcorder off.