Pony Rap Battlez

by JasonCider

Seson One: Jason VS Quick-Bolt

Author's Note:

Since these are problems being solved, you might see one pony in more than one rap.

Jason was messing with a camcorder when Quick-Bolt walked by. Jason was looking confused like he was frustrated at something.

"What's wrong Jason?" Quick-Bolt asked nicely.

"It's this thing I'm doing. I can't find anyone to be in it!" Jason moaned.

"What is it Jason? Maybe I can help." Jason psyched back up.

"YES! That would work! 'The Great and Sexy' Jason Cider V.S 'The Mean and Scary' Quick-Bolt!" Quick-Bolt was a little confused.

"Let me guess, you want to Rap Battle me?" Jason nodded his head. "Fine, but this time, don't bitch when I beet you!"

"Can I go first?" Jason asked.

"Yeah Jason, go ahead."

Jason smiles as he hit play on the camcorder.
PONY RAP BATTLEZ!
Jason Cider

V.S
Quick-Bolt!

Begin!

Back off you prick, what you think you're cool?
Twilight must work in construction, look her new tool.
You're a punk soldier, who thinks hes rad.
I'm known as 'The Great and Sexy' how many girls have you had?
I'm a Juggalo so know you can tell,
I ain't going no were, see you in hell!
I'm a somepony that can't be beat!
So do me a favor, wait for defeat
I'll be with my homies wile you're patrolling a jail!
I do this for a living, we're gonna see an epic FAIL!
I have an idea and it's actually quite bright
How does it feel knowing you're gonna die before Twilight

You must think you're tough, oh SO scary!
Forget me, fight Tinker Bell, you're both fairies.
And what do you mean how meany girls have I had?
While you're here crying, I'll be with my comrade
You must be an idiot, you treat this like recess
I married Twilight, Dash married the real Princess
I've done things that no mortal pony can complete
There's a reason they put me in the Equestrian Elite
I'm also a Prince, ponies shower me with Jewels!
You're just a faggot, hanging out with a bunch of fools.
I'm fast, I'll be gone without a trace.
You're just a little bitch, let me put you in your place!

We all know what happens when you get moody, CALM DOWN!
I didn't mean to make you cry, stop or we'll all gonna drown.
You're acting more like Twilight, what did she do?
Twilight wears the pants, but you wear her panties don't you.
I'm a ROCKSTAR, I make raps every day.
And when you try to rap man it sounds foul play.
I gonna win so lets rejoice.
You can be a man or a bitch, your choice.

You think you're bigger than me you little runt!
I'm a god among men. To me, you're just a little cunt.
So you think I'm turning to a girl? You think that I'll cry?
I don't even need a degree in Hooverd to see pass that lie.
If you're so tough, throw the first punch.
I'll rip your horn off and eat it for lunch
I'll be chilling with my girl while I'm reminding
Mess with me again I'll beat you down with lighting

"who won? Who's Next? You decide! PONY RAP BATTLEZ

Comments

[GetJinxed]

I think Jason won, to be honest. As for who is next.... I want to see Pinkie Pie go against Chrysalis :P

[Kaf_Kraked_Poni]

This doesn't work for me... not without a beat.... also,

I think you mean, "beat" as well and not "beet."

don't bitch when I beet you!"

Unless that's a new slang ya'll youngin's are saying to each other now.

[Quick-Bolt]

4207793, why they have no reason to be near each other