Twilight knocked on the door. “Come in.” said a voice from inside. Celestia had just been filling out some paper work up until now. She actually had prepared for this meeting and had all of Twilight’s papers put aside and ready. As Twilight came in she stood politely with her hands clasped. “Please, take a seat Twilight.”
“Thank you Principal Celestia. So, uh, you know ‘me’ too.” Twilight replied as she took the seat. She wasn’t entirely surprised by this of course. She doubted anything would surprise her from here out. Or anything ever for that matter compared to all this.
“No, I don’t. I knew the other you but I heard everything you said at the assembly and I feel awful. When I saw your enrollment forms I assumed it was the other you. Has anybody told you about what happened and why everyone knows you?”
“Yeah, I found out most of it. Guess that you’ve guessed why I’m here.” she said but didn’t get a reply. Instead Celestia just gave a knowing look. But she actually had no idea, the look just made most people say what they planned as to ‘confirm’ what Celestia was thinking. “I’d like to transfer back to my old school.”
“Yes, I thought as much.” she lied convincingly, grabbing the papers she’d set aside. Some were her enrollment forms and others were her grades and records. Twilight’s grades were nearly flawless, well, with the exception of one F in from third grade gym. “You transferred here for our school’s higher rating and more advanced classes other schools don’t offer. While I understand why you might want to leave, I would strongly advise against it.”
“I know but… I just can’t stay here.” Twilight said, looking away. She’d come to the conclusion it wasn’t a bad day. But it still had bad points and the forefront of that was her brief meeting with… what was his name? Brad? eh, close enough... “Look. I don’t want to be known by everyone. Whether they know ME or not, they still know about me and… I don’t…”
“I can understand that.” the records also indicated some of her traits and mental conditions. Another reason she’d been sent here. For some reason or another, with no actual reason like special support, this school had the highest percentage of students with some sort of disability, be it mental, physical or otherwise. Simply put, this school was known for having some rather… ‘insane’ occurrences even before last years Fall Formal.
“So, you’ll transfer me back?” Twilight asked, hoping that's all it would take.
“If it’s really what you want, then I will.” Celestia said, lifting Twilight’s spirits. “However it will take some time. Early next week at the soonest. But I would like to ask you one favour though: reconsider. This school is the best available for you in this town, possibly this state. Go to your classes, meet your teachers and perhaps make some friends.”
“What if I still don’t want to stay?”
“Then, once everything’s ready, if you still want to transfer, all it will take is a signature from one of your parents.” Celestia replied reassuringly. She was quite good at that. “And just so you know, your ‘friends’ have been given detention tomorrow for getting up on stage and using the speaker system without permission. If you’d like, I can keep them there and away from you for a few days longer.”
“No. That’s ok. Uh, actually, I feel a little bad that you're punishing them for me.”
“Well, they would’ve gotten detention for that anyway.” Celestia chuckled slightly and Twilight followed suit. “Twilight, my faithful student. If there’s anything else I can help you with, do not hesitate to ask.”
“Thank you Principal Celestia.” Twilight said as she stood up.
“Just Celestia will be fine.” she replied before returning to her paperwork.
“Thank you Celestia.” Twilight said, receiving a brief smile before Celestia was deep into her work once more. She quietly left the office and headed off. However, she’d forgotten what had happened with Sil. Turned around as she was, Twilight had ended up coming out the back of the school rather than the front. It didn’t really matter much, she could just walk around the outside after all. And so she did.
Unfortunately, as luck would have it… which was weird because her luck had been SOOO good to day… she rounded the corner and then quickly ducked back behind it, pressing her back against the wall she started to hyperventilate. Also, she’d forgotten everything in her locker… but that wasn’t important. The only reason she’d remembered that at all was she wanted another thick hard-back book to hit him with again.
Brad was just around that corner, right next to where she needed to go. There wasn’t anyone else around either. Well there were a few around the corner but what she meant by that was there was no one on this side of the corner to see her totally spazzing out as her chest went up and down about three times a second, she was breathing so fast and heavily.
Maybe she could just wait him out. He’d leave sooner or later. Twilight just peaked her head around the corner and… “Hey.” Brad said solemnly, as she stood just around the corner. “Sorr…”
“Argh!” Twilight screamed, spinning the rest of her body around the corner, along with bringing both her arms towards his head, slamming him into the wall. She definitely… defiantly, had the fight part of fight or flight down pat. Now to execute the flight part as she ran past him towards… he grabbed her arm as she did. “Ah!” she screamed again. This one wasn’t from shock like the last, but from fear.
“Wait, please.” he said, calmly yet forcefully, now bruised on both sides of his face. He managed to make eye contact with her. He wasn’t angry in the slightest and almost… almost looked as scared as she did. He released his grip on her arm and despite seeing her chance, Twilight didn’t run. “Look, I’m sorry about this morning. I thought… you were someone else. And I wasn’t the only one from what I heard.”
“N-no, you weren't but… you were the first.” Twilight replied, recognising he must’ve thought the exact thing she did: that he had hurt her. Sure she’d hurt him too but… you know.
“Sunset Shi- the redhead, was talking to you when I found you. Didn’t she confuse you with Twilight Sparkle?”
“No, well yes, but no, but… listen Brad.” Twilight said but Flash decided not to bother with a name correction. Thus dooming himself to be forever named Brad from henceforth in this series. “I mean… that was my first kiss. And, and you stole it from me thinking I was another girl.”
“Oh geez. I’m sorry! I mean I… I didn’t even think about it like that. I mean I thought a cute girl like you would’ve… not that I’m trying to hit on you… or suggesting anything about you or… I’ll just shut up, ok?”
“Please do.” Twilight moped. “Brad, my name IS Twilight Sparkle. But I’m not that Twilight Sparkle. I just want to be me. And me wants to be left alone.”
“Yeah, that’s cool.” Brad said extending a hand to shake. And that is what made this entire non-shipfic became a slow progression to these two hooking up by the end of it.
“No hands.” she said moving his hand aside and hugging him. Then remembering he wouldn’t get that joke and pulling away. She looked at him for a moment before turning and leaving without saying a word.
Brad stood there for a moment. He didn’t go after her. Why would he? But he had to wonder, was she that different from the old Twilight? He’d been her first kiss, maybe he could make up for that by being her first boyfriend. One that would treat her right. He thought about it for a moment before finally making up his mind: that was a terrible idea… but he couldn’t help but think ‘Is it weird I know all the lyrics to Guy Love?’
He looked around to check that no one was within ear shot before he quietly began to say “It’s guy love, that’s all it is. Guy love, he’s mine on his~…”
Okay, where to start;
You need to put a comma before and after a cahrcter, addresses, said chartcer by name. For example;
"Do you know where Pinkie Pie is, Rainbow Dash?"
*Hugged
If you can help it, use past tense instead of present.
Well, that happened.
I was expecting Celestia to try and talk her out of it. Here's hoping she succeeds.
You could have had Flash tell her HIS name.
kinda hoping Twilight gets her wish to transfer back out and explore other schools. not trying to be a buzz kill but think it would be alot more believable and surprising that this Twilight gave it her best but finds that Canterlot High is just not for her. again not trying to be a buzz kill.
4329361 First part: I'm aware and refuse because I think it's stupid, always have. You know the saying right? Arrogance is bliss.
Second part: fixed.
Third: I laughed so hard at a grammar correcting comment that spelt the same word wrong twice in two different ways
His name is not Brad
Alright, lets do this!
1.I know I will sound kind lame, but let Twilight leave the school. Let her make new friends with someone who wouldn't look at her and hope that she will act like the other Twilight. She isn't the Princess from Equestria, she's just a girl who wants to be alone and be herself. There is a lot of stories where she was changed by so-called friends, but right now she has only one friend who will see her for herself and it's Silver Spoon. You will probably try to lead her in the position that would have been filled by the Pony!Twilight, but that just it, she isn't her.
Let me give you an example, there is an Anime/Manga called Love Hina, the plot is crappy at best and it only pulls its weight on the sloppy humor and pathetic attempts at showing teen-romance with the audience already knowing with whom the protagonist will be. But there is also a FanFiction named An Alternate Keitaro Urashima where the Main Character avoids the plot and makes his own decisions and forge his own fate.
My point is that Human!Twilight is an absolutly different person, and with how you structured this chapter it is obvious that she will be manipulated/guilt-tripped/forced to stay in this school.one way or another. You made a wonderful decision in making her befriend Silver, but with the smell of 'Magic of Friendship' coming from the plot of this Chapter, I can only hope that you won't try and reunite the so-called 'Elements of Harmony'. There is no Magic in human world, and the whole light-show that happened in the movie was there only because of the Element of Magic, and only because of it.
You started this story on a wonderful note and showed us how the bunch of so-called friends turned Human!Twilight's day into nightmare, and I approve! I'm not sadistic or cruel, but that little display showed us that they didn't even consider that she could be someone else, and not their Pony!Twilight. For God's sake, she barfed her insides out from the stress, there absolutely no way for her to even consider becoming friends with people who will only use her as a replacement for their lost friend. Hell, they will probably will only see her as a temporal patch until Pony!Twilight would come back. The Five+One band of friends have a great chemistry going between them and Twilight, in the sense that I hope the 5+1 get dissolved in acid. I know I sound harsh, but you need to break the circle and create a new path for EG types of stories, with Human!Twilight not becoming the cheap replacement of the Pony!Twilight.
Let Human!Twilight forge her own destiny, let her decide her own pass, and let her break free from the chains of the Pony!Twilight's fate and shadow. Let her change and grow, let her build her own life without chewing on the leftovers and scraps of the Pony!Twilight! Your story has a lot of potential and you writing is wonderful, but with the tilt of the plot in this Chapter it can either go up with Twilight leaving the school, or drop down, wobble a little around like a victim of a car-crash with big piece of a windshield in its forehead and just falling down, rolling over in the nearest ditch dying on the corpses of the similar stories. It's ultimately you choice and I can only pray that you'll make the right decision.
2. Puppet-Master Celestia. Alright, you actually portrayed her pretty accurately, and her manipulative nature was clearly seen. She basically played her role as a kind and understanding Principal, threw Twilight a bone letting her drop the 'Principal' part, guilt-tripped her with the punishments that Main 5+1 received and then made sure to place as many seeds of doubt as she could, to ensure that her school's reputation will be undamaged. To start a fire you need only one spark, and the whole incident could have been that spark. If Twilight would have left the school, she would have started the chain reaction with parents asking questions, rumors would have started and like a broken telephone Flash's failed kiss would have been turned into rape and Main 5+1's antics into a bloody massacre with Twilight being crucified in the school's bathroom.
Celestia wouldn't care about Twilight's feelings, and with the seeds growing and blooming the poor girl would think that it was her own decision. No matter how traumatized or mentally scarred she would end up, Celestia will have her way, and considering how smart Twilight is, Celestia will also get herself a student that would be able to rise her school's reputation, inter-school competitions are like an arms race during Cold War, if not worse. Losing such a useful tool would be a blow to Celestia's pride and her capability to hold her school on the Top of the list.
3. Brad. Or Flash Sentry... Or Molester... Well, Twilight had the best first impression that will hopefully help her stay away from him for the rest of her life. The 'replacing the Pony'-syndrome would be at full blast with him trying to win her over and Twilight actually even considering his in that way. It just doesn't world like that.
4258130 Um... oops. That was left in there as a note to myself to hyperlink a clip from that episode of Southpark... I never found it though so I... yeah. Screw it, leave it in.
Also, I can't find that extra period, remember a bit more of the words around it, make it easier to find?
4330979 That what you think... not what Twilight thinks though.
4331424 First of all, I would like to say that I love you! It makes me so happy to see a wall of text 'review' of one of my story. But with that said, let me tell you why you're wrong.
We'll start at the beginning, it's a good place to start. The original idea for this story was the first day only and ended roughly here [chapter 6]. The first 3 chapters where exactly as I planned them and then what I planned for chapter 4 turned into chapters 4-6. As it is I feel like this chapter is a little squished with both the Celestia and Brad scene being in it but by themselves both where quite short.
The plan was for her to leave school and just transfer back, making this a short story of about 5-6k words. However by the time I'd finished chapter 4 I had ideas for chapter 40. And so story goes on!
Now, despite how this chapter may seem different, none of it is. Like you said, and I've tried to emphasise, this is a different Twilight. However, they do have some similar traits. I would say that she's episode 1 Twilight: not wanting friends and having more important things to do. But still a nice person at heart. As for Celestia, she too is similar yet different [though I'm pretty sure she knew about everything in the movie].
You're right on some parts and wrong on others. Yes the M5+1 [love that name BTW] will try and befriend her... especially Pinkie Pie, with varying degrees of success. I don't want to spoil anything but I would say they become acquaintances more than friends. Like how you know the name of the guy who works at the shop you go to all the time. You know a bit about them but wouldn't call yourself friends. Well, maybe a bit more than that but you get the general idea.
Out of all of them I would say Fluttershy has the most success. But that's mostly because I love Fluttershy. Although I write some weird-arse stuff for her and... well you'll see who 'and' is.
Also... who says there's no magic in the human world? Spoiler: there is. Yeah I know... I was on the fence about that too but it'll make sense in the end. Sorta.
Now if you excuse me, I have to read part 2 of your comment BRB.
...
Oh wow that got dark...
Ok, Celestia is being a little manipulative but what she's doing is trying to help Twilight. This school is the best [non private] school in the city and/or state.
That being said, once again, who says Twilight is even the smartest student in this school? She may encounter a Great and Powerful rival.
Lastly, as for Brad, I tried to redeem him a little here. And no, despite what I may've said they're not going to hook up. That was a joke. And even acknowledged it was a bad idea. Flash 'Brad' Sentry will be back... but not for a long time. Then there will be some minor shipping. Then there will be some awkward 'we have nothing in comment' scene that only got written because I wanted them to meet each other again and then realised I had nothing for them to say to one another.
Long story short: stuff's going to happen, most of it will seem random and going in one direction and then completely flip on it self and make 'sense' and I use quotation on that word for a reason.
Know what the best part is though? We're not even finished the first day and this story goes until next Monday at which point *cheesy soap opera voice over * we will reveil if Twilight stays at or leaves this school! And in all honesty, I haven't decided yet. Like my last major length story I'm constantly flip-flopping on which choice I'll make... it's like ME3 all over again.
As of writing this I am up to chapter 27, half way through Thursday and am a little writers blocked with the big change that's going to happen for a chapter or two. Sufficed to say it starts to follow a different character for bit. It's probably a bad idea honestly but whatever...
P.S. The only problem with a wall of text review is by the time I'm done reading it I don't remember parts of it and that makes it hard to reply and stay on topic.
4331779 Alright, lets do this!
1.1 The chapter is okay, believe me, I know what can be considered a squashed chapter, and yours is far from it. You made the story flow, and that is actually wonderful because there is nothing more beautiful than a story that doesn't jump from point to point at the random moments.
1.2 The original plan was great but it was more in the lines of a one-shot. I think you may have the potential for 100+ Chapters, but it's only my opinion. There's always a way for Twilight to put her life on the track that doesn't end after she leaves this school, there is a whole life and she has million and one opportunity to build it a different way.
1.3 No, the point here that Human!Twilight was never influenced by Celestia, she have a free will and can fight for her own happiness. Human!Twilight doesn't have any world-saving responsibilities and there isn't a death-clock ticking over her head. Human!Twilight is still a tad bit antisocial and doesn't know much about interactions with her peers, but she's not hopeless like Pony!Twilight was. Here you can basically see the difference when you let her befriend SiSp, and considering that Pony!Twilight was basically Pony!Celestia's pet that was trained to ask 'How high?' when is ordered to jump, Human!Twilight have the most important advantage, Free Will. H!Celestia instantly started to try and make H!Twilight consider herself a student, the 'my faithful student' part was on par with a particular type of a verbal hypnosis where you apply particular words to interlocutor to make him or her subconsciously associate himself or herself with this particular phrases or words. H!Celestia is basically trying to brainwash H!Twilight into staying with the word 'student', and make her obedient with the word 'faithful', basically her pet like P!Twilight was to P!Celestia. H!Celestia sees an asset and instantly know its value, H!Twilight can replace P!Twilight and with the talks that H!Celestia will have with her she will have the best position to influence the students through her pet, she will be able to guide them in the way that will make her school rise in the national ranks and therefore she will gain a good bonus to her paychecks. She need an obedient students, and what is the best way to do it if not from the inside? If students won't damage any of the property or litter than the school will need to spend less money on the janitor or repairs, and more for H!Celestia to keep for herself. And why does it matter if some of her student's dream, or in this case psychs will shatter? It's not a problem as long as it doesn't affect the big picture, she will gladly walk on the shards of her student's future in her new shoes for 2500$.
1.4 Well it could go two ways.
a) H!Twilight won't be willing to actually even interact with them because of them being responsible for her social-death. They will try to connect with her, ask her to join them, attempt to make her into P!Twilight that they knew and loved, but they will fail. H!Twilight will never be dumb enough to not see that they are only replacing their lost member with a good-enough candidate. H!Twilight won't tolerate it and will lash out, everyone has a breaking point and considering the way they will try to befriend her:
Pinkie will probably be the annoying childish self and with her inability to read the mood in the air she will never understand that H!Twilight doesn't like her. Pinkie's main problem is that she thinks that everything can be solved by laugh and a lot of sugar, but for someone new and with the immunity to her irrational and almost psychotic behavior like H!Twilight, Pinkie will appear in her true colors. She doesn't understand when she's being insensible or downright cruel in her attempts of being friendly. She nothing more than a child with a mental disorder.
Rainbow will try to win H!Twilight over with her sport's achievements, but H!Twilight doesn't really care, but RD's brashness and stubbornness won't let her stop. She brags a lot and thinks about sport far more than it's healthy for a normal person, she participates in many sport-clubs and considering her loyalty to P!Twilight she will try to even force H!Twilight to be her friend. She's an attention-whore with two-tracks mind that really doesn't know what the hell is real loyalty about.
Rarity will be more than just annoying with her constant prating about fashion, she will probably attempt to put H!Twilight in the same clothes that P!Twilight wore, but considering that H!Twilight doesn't even know this girls she won't trust them so blindly as did P!Twilight. There will be no 'thank you' from H!Twilight because she will decline anything that will be given to her. Rarity just doesn't understand when someone just doesn't care about what she's saying, a overemotional diva with a one-track mind.
Applejack will just tag along, considering that she's a bit of a passive character but with a spunk than was seen during her explanation about Sunset Shimmer. She will be helping her friends to win H!Twilight over and she will make sure that they will successful. She's a tag-along with a dependence issues.
Fluttershy will be the only one who would be able to understand H!Twilight and become her real friend, she will never hurt someone considering her gentle nature and a bit submissive personality she will perfectly fit with H!Twilight because she will just let her be herself and won't talk to her only because of her being a replacement to P!Twilight. She's a kind and understanding soul that will help H!Twilight to grow with time, even if they will be in a different schools.
b) H!Twilight will make sure to avoid them and therefore M5 will slowly but surely start to lose some sleep over the whole matter, their grade will gown down with the lack of concentration the fact that they will always get in trouble while trying to get H!Twilight on their side their school records will be pretty much ruined. Their behaivor will probably be encouraged by H!Celestia, because lousing a student is something that will leave a bad spot on the school's reputation. In the end H!Celestia will throw them away like a used up trash, because they will be useless to her.
1.5 Fluttershy is a wonderful character to write, she has enough traits to be considered a deep person, but not enough to be in the league of the ones like Celestia and Luna. She is slightly rough on the edges a person and can still grown but in which direction she will grown only the author can decide. I'm not sure if you saw some of the Fics where Fluttershy grew into an outstanding person, but they are here and just want to be read. Pity I don't have at least in in Fav. because the author killed it with his ego right when it was becoming the most interesting thing to read. Hell, you can even write how H!Twilight will affect Fluttershy in her development as a person, it will one interesting story to read!
1.6 Alright, now you're making the whole thing dangerous. So, there will be Magic, like Dresden-style? I mean, if H!Twilight have the potential for it you can add a second plot to the story where she will discover her abilities and will develop them. I mean, there is probably no one who can teach her this, but there is a lot of books, like Dresden Files, Fate/Stay Night,etc. It will make her far more powerful than P!Twilight and she will be able to fight whatever threat you're planning to throw at her. Also, about Magic. Why no one actually thought about the consequence of P!Twilight using the Elements of Harmony without the proper vessels in the world where Magic doesn't exist? my theory is that the copies of the Elements were left inside the M5 therefore essentially making them an unfinished 'circle', like when they were holding hands in the end of the movie. Elements, like any good intentional things have the potential to lead the girls straight to the Gates of Hell. My theory is that the Elements will try to finish the 'circle' and find a replacement for the Element of Magic, and with H!Twilight being a good-enough replacement the damn Magical trinkets will urge the M5 subconsciously to befriend her and make her part of the 'circle'. The Elements are basically a weapon without any thought or feelings and therefore the M5's minds and feeling won't be spared, they would be driven to the point of insanity and even further only because of H!Twilight's absolutely negligent behavior. It's actually a pretty interesting plot-line to follow.
2.1 Th road to Hell and all that jazz again. Let me tell you about how good Celestia is at helping her students. She knew about Magic and Equestria even before Sunset Shimmer appeared in her school.
This is the exact words of P!Celestia, and if P!Twilight was less of a pet and more of a individual than she would have noticed the double-meaning of this phrase. P!Celestia knew about human-world and apparently informed that the Canterlot Hight had a set of all P!Twilight's friends in human forms, and she planned the whole thing. P!Celestia said that they couldn't go together but didn't give any real reason.
She can't let them? Oh, and why not? Because she knew exactly what will await P!Twilight on the other end of the mirror and couldn't let the others of the M6 interfere with her plans.
Yeah, balance, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the copies of P!Twilight's friends that will work as substitutes for the Elements, nor with teaching P!Twilight another lesson, nope, nothing at all!
Oh, and the fact that a whole new student appears without any paperwork that should have been filled and instantly tried to run for the 'Princess' position is not something you should be worried about? Ah, but apparently H!Celestia knew about P!Twilight's arrival and that actually gives us a pretty creepy fact that P!Celestia and H!Celestia are able to communicate in some way. She doesn't even reacts to some very obscure terms that P!Twilight uses, or her lack of knowledge about the school's event. Either she sucks as a Principal or she was informed of her arrival by P!Celestia.
What did I tell you? Child' labor at its finest. She could have hired several people to fix the whole thing faster than that, but why spend money when you have slaves... children doing it for free!
This is not how a normal person should react to this weird shit that happened that night! She actually openly stated that she knew about P!Twilight's position in Equestria, but P!Twilight being her dense and trusting self, also with her mindset to brown-nose everyone and everything named Celestia she just didn't ask. I'm appalled that a Princess can be so dense and trusting, she has no future in politics. And considering that she and M5 could have actually die, P!Celestia and H!Celestia are a pair of twisted monsters that doesn't care about anyone's lives as long as the plan works.
2.2 H!Twilight doesn't need to be the smartest person in school, it's all the question of PR, P!Twilight left a pretty good base for it, and considering that H!Twilight will probably reach out for the first person who will be willing to help, well H!Celestia got her tool.
2.3 Brad just need to stop jerking off on the P!Twilight. Didn't he know that she was basically a horse? That's kind of bestiality, isn't it?
3.1 Let her leave. The M5+1 could probably try to follow her to make amends and other all that jazz, and you'll be able to twist the plot a little, so H!Twilight will find herself some friends that doesn't know about P!Twilight and will be her real friends and not the ones that are just trying to replace P!Twilight with a good-enough substitute. It will be a lot more interesting story!
4333027 ...
...
..........
Yes, that sounds like quite an interesting story.
You're right about a few things [especially Pinkie but that's kinda obvious] but completely off base on others. Mostly that while H/P Celesti both knew much more than they let on neither of them have ill intent. Ok, there could be some stuff in a 'needs of the many out way the needs of the few' style thing with risking M6's lives and screwing over P Twilight, but H Celestia is aware this Twilight is nothing special [other than a genius]. As do the M5+1. They're not going to try and assimilate her, well they will, but as a new person not a space holder. Like I said: with varying degrees of success.
As for the magic, it's gimmicky at bes... actually it's incredibly powerful mind altering magic... but it's used for good. I'd say more but major plot point.
I may use your ideas for Rarity seems she has the least 'screen time' I've written for her.
Conclusion: while I love that there's someone putting this much thought into the story, it's really too early to do so.
Also, I would accommodate more of your ideas into the story if I was well past the point that I actually could. I like to have far more than I've already published done well in advance. Though a few of these things I will intergrade in.
4335058 1. Thank you.
2. Pinkie is a Character that kind of there only because others tolerate her presence and because she's the Element of Laughter. Without those facts she would have been thrown out faster than she would be able to open her mouth to say another stupid thing. In this case she's more of a 'comes-along-with-the-package' thing, and she's tolerated only because of her being part of the original adventure.
3.1 Why are yo making excuses for those heartless puppeteers? Alright, why didn't P!Celestia just bluntly tell P!Twilight about the Elements of Harmony? She even outright lied about them! Only because of her egoism the whole world was almost destroyed! P!Celestia only wanted her sister back, and didn't care that P!Twilight could have died several times over in the process, the Manticore alone would have killed the poor little slave to pieces. P!Celestia could have killed Nightmare Moon, but again decided to risk everyone's future for her own selfish reasons and using her status as a monarch to not answer any questions. The Eternal Night would have killed all the inhabitants of Equestria, it would have been genocide, but who cares? Not P!Celestia, that's for sure!
3.2 H!Celestia could have just return the Crown to P!Twilight considering that P!Celestia already informed her about the whole situation, but no, where the fun in that? Let's make it easier for her and much more entertaining! Who cares that Sunset Shimmer could have caused brain-damage with her powers considering how out of practice she was, or that P!Twilight and M5 could have been incinerated on the spot, H!Celestia would have been responsible for their murder, and I don't think their parents would've taken the fact that apparently their precious children were butchered in the 'best' school in the city. Oh, and why put Sunset Shimmer into jail for an attempted murder and brainwashing the whole school into her loyal slaves, when you can just pretend nothing happened? Yeah, lets put a potential murderer near her potential victims and watch the show! H!Celestia is as uncaring about people as P!Celestia is uncaring about lives that she could sacrifice for her own selfish reasons at any given moment. They both are heartless monsters that should be put down.
3.3 Forget to mention it, but the Best School overall won't be the Best in any specialized subjects. For example, the Best Med-School will have far better Biology, Chemistry and etc. Classes than the Best School overall. H!Twilight can just go to the school that specialize in what she's interested and she will receive a far better education than in Canterlot High.
3.4 That means that there can be a negative success?
4. So, my idea about H!Twilight learning about it by herself is a good one?
5. Glad to help!
6. Who said about changing much? An added sentence here, and changed reaction there and the colors will change faster than you would be able to see!
I am totally ok with this development. Because comedy makes everything better, especially when it's slapstick.
I'm not sure if that was a joke or not, there are so many contradictions on those last few paragraphs! If only I had that one piece of evidence...
*Reads last paragraph*
*stares at computer screen for a moment*
*slow clapping*
Everyone seems to have a lot to say about this chaper... Consider the irony that three comments on this chapter actually BEAT the size of the chapter itself...