• Published 22nd Mar 2014
  • 939 Views, 7 Comments

Pinkie Reads Homestuck - potatoflankthefailular



Being Pinkie OBVIOUSLY has ties with the real world internet, she has seen many things... But this... This changes everything.

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The introduction to Sober Gamzee

Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and the other one all walk past Sugarcube Corner and realize Pinkie's absence.
"Guys... Where off did Pinkie go? I haven't heard much from her after that she found out about that silly story" Applejack thought out loud but alas... There was no response from her marefriends.

"GUYS! WHERE IS PINKIE?!" Twilight said to the crowd of friends that followed her.

"Uhm... didn't she read that story called hometrap or something?"
And with Fluttershy's intelligent mumbling, the group left a confused, monologuing Applejack on the side of the street

"Girls... Pinkie is probably away attending some sort of FASHION cake baking contest or something" The marshmallow, fashion pony thing said.


Pinkie sat in her room... Alone. Gummy was out of sight and Mr. And Mrs. Cake had left Pinkie because of her rampant, late night fan-mare-ing.

"I am the embodiment of the Highblood... Gamzee Makara" Pinkie spoke to herself as she rolled a can of Faygo back and forth... "I must paint. But I require some lower blood" By now, Sober Gamzee's actions in the story have driven Pinkie to complete and utter insanity.

"I must further embody the Highblood. I need facepaint" And with that, Pinkie trotted off into the real world.

"Pinkie?" Twilight said, searching for a light switch to light up the practically pitch black room

"Uhm... Maybe she left?" Fluttershy said while trying not to scream in complete fear.

"FASHION FASHION FASHION! LETS GO AND GET DRESSES AND HAVE SEX WITH ROCKS!" Rarity said, being a true lady.

"This is probably going to be the only line I get in this story" Said Rainbow Dash, awesomely.

"Probably, Rainbow Dash" Twilight said "But that's not the point. We need to find Pinkie. I've been reading into the story she has been reading and I think it's a-" As Twilight finally found the light switch and turned on the lights she saw a horrific sight.
The word "Honk" and a smiley face that looked a lot like this ":o)" was scrawled all over the walls in what appeared to be purple ink, Twilight then jumped when she heard the collective shock when all of the lights went out. Pitch black darkness, all the four mares relied on was auditory guidance. The only problem was there were bottles of Faygo everywhere and the ponies kept tripping on them.

"P-Pinkie... Quit playing games. This isn't funny" Twilight said with a quiver in her voice. A short but loud "Honk" was heard from within Pinkie's room, a few seconds later there was a slight hissing of the opening of a Faygo bottle and another honk.

"Rainbow Dash, go check!" Rarity said while she was gnawing on her tail.

Rainbow Dash said nothing because the writer felt inclined to do so. As the rainbow maned pony flied into Pinkie's room, the door shut with a CRUCNH because Rainbow Dash was half way into the doorway.

"HEY BESTFRIEND!" Pinkie said in a grungy voice. Before Rainbow Dash could respond she passed out due to blood loss because of the door crushing her. Pinkie then dragged Rainbow's corpse into her room, where she painted with other pony's blood
"lets rest in the hornpile" Pinkie said, tossing Rainbow Dash's limp dead body into the pile of horns she arranged. Honks burst with the weight of the dead body, scaring the other ponies outside.

"Rainbow?" Fluttershy said.

"Well... Should we go in?" Rarity said Fashioning everywhere.

"No... No... NO..." Pinkie, wearing white facepaint and fake troll horns, said as she walked out slowly.

"PINKIE!? THIS STORY IS RUINING YOUR LIFE!" Twilight said.

":o)" Pinkie somehow said. And with that, Pinkie leaped into the darkness and activated the Faygo shower, which confused the three ponies.

"WHY ARE WE ALL STICKY!?" Rarity said, remembering her college days

"Honk Honk" Pinkie said, giggling

"MAKE IT STOP!" Twilight said

"I... I actually like it" Fluttershy said... Shyly.
Pinkie fell from above and landed on the slutty, marshmallow pony, killing her on impact. "Honk" Pinkie said again. She then took a club and beat Fluttershy until she fell to the ground, bleeding everywhere. "HONK!" Pinkie screamed, giggling uncontrollably.

"THAT'S IT!" Twilight said, still having Faygo being poured all over her, Twilight then casted a spell which temporarily suspended Pinkie into the air. Twilight tackled the suspended Pinkie, throwing punch after punch to her snout. Her blood was somehow purple. The purple blood coated Twilight's hooves. As the spell wore off Pinkie's limp body fell to the ground, purple blood coating the floor. As Pinkie fell Twilight looked down with bloodshot eyes... Not knowing what to do without friends. Applejack then trotted into the room
"HEY! AH AM HER FRIEND TOO!"
As a response to this, Twilight shot a purple laser from her horn, putting a hole into the head of the orange, freckled farm pony.
As Applejack fell Twilight looked down with bloodshot eyes... Not knowing what to do without friends.



~HoNk~

Author's Note:

JEGUS! This was a blast writing.
Keep in mind, I subtly described my favorite and least favorite ponies with in the story... Subtly.


Also don't worry, just because I read Homestuck, doesn't mean that I'm a crazed murderer.

Hope you enjoyed the fic.

Comments ( 6 )

Right, this goes straight into my read later folder. I can't read this until I complete homestuck.

4118794
It only spoils the first page and the fact that Gamzee looses his mind. Das about it.

I'm halfway through homestuck, just where I meet Gamzi, now I'm scared to read anymore...

Make a squeal, this is amazing omg

4194527
please don't ever spell it like that.

LAWL XD

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