When scout has a meaningful chat with sniper, he announces that he wants a change, when he goes to sleep that night, scout wakes up no longer in the world he knew.
How will he adapt to the changes around him? and the inhabitants that greet him?
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Being a Fan of Team fortress and My little pony, I decided to make a crossover story.
Inspired by: My little fortress: Teamwork is magic.
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Please notify me of any mistakes of grammar and spelling in this story,
feel free to criticize me so that I can improve. Thanks In Advance guys!
Love and Tolerate!
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image source: Unknown, I do not take credit, credit to original owner and respective rights.
You start a new paragraph every time the speaker changes. Other than that, good job so far.
I like, i think ill actually follow this story, good writing sir
Tab is your friend dude... and so is the enter button. Don't leave them hanging
I agee with the others! Yeah really lots of miss spellings and caps in wrong places and caps NOT in the right places. Other than that... Good story and concept!
It's better... I don't think I'll track it. I can say worse about mine thought but, bro, you have SOME seroius capilzation to do. Along with paragraphs and more capilziation. This , isn't a period. You don't cap after it. Just a little nudge. But really, this is a really good story and concept. I wish people could say the same about mine. Good luck though!
pretty good, i will be tracking
Well, somewhere in that mass of words is a good story!
You just have to spend more time working on it. It seems as if you rushed to type it and put it up here, maybe get someone to read over it beforehand (or hoof in this matter) and as the others have said "start a new paragraph when someone speaks and use caps."
Anyways, I'm tracking.
sweet gotta use dat tab man but alas i will track
sweet gotta use dat tab man but alas i will track
Urm....Spellcheck. Im just saiyan.
0.o
Scout is keith.....
Alright somebrony et me the pic....You know the one...
I'm sorry, but can you PLEASE space out that shit, I can't read ANYTHING!
i found this video while streaming youtube.
Thought you'd like it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h69Abo_MwTE&feature=related
Did you just imply that scout's name is Keith?
0:05
I shall return to read this later.
And pray no one makes a clopfic of him and Rainbow Dash.
Needs more spacing. Nice story though
313810
Atleast it would be over quickly... like in 10 seconds flat?
313845
Its a pretty good story so far. One thing you need to fix with your typing, is to start a new line whenever you use dialogue. It will spread out the paragraphs and make it look less blocky.
313805 yeah from L4d2 Ellis's crazy story's that involve Keith and at one point I think nick saying that if Keith was real he'd have every bone in his body broken could he be Keith
My buddy Ellis I c wut u did thar.
Well anyways I love the story so far!!! 
Can't wait for next chapter!!!! 
i'm pretty sure it's Spy who said "good plan", not Scout.
Please don't let this be a dream.
Thanks for the tips and Support guys, I'll get to editing this right away! :3
Also, where perhaps could I get a pre-reader?
volunteers?
Okay, took advice and spaced the prologue out more.
Lets hope this doesn't cram your mouth with story now.
Let's move onto fixing chapter one and then I'll get to work on chapter 2. :3
313799 Yes, i have seen this before.
but thanks for sending me that so I could laugh some more
314649 Thank you for pointing that out, It has now been fixed.
313810 Eew no.
If there's something worse than a regular clopfic,
its a clopfic that involves humans.
313789 Okay, what is this pic you speaketh of?
I MUST KNOW!
Hmm... seems legit.. i'll track this see how good it'll probly get.. it's good so far
315902 The one that shows the guy saying "Mother of God"
Alrighty, I've read it now.
Intro was good, but actual chapter felt a bit rushed.
Also, there were a few places here and there in both parts that were missing words.
Good work mate!
Take your time with the chapters and keep being awesome
So, people have said that they feel I have rushed through chapter 1.
Now, after reading through a few times and fixing errors, I just couldn't see it, so... apologies there if you feel the same.
319837 Yeah, I know, I get the same thing happening to me, by anyway, nice story, I'm a TF2 fan my self, so I'll will be keeping an eye on this.
This is... alright. I have some things to address, though. First thing, the dialogue. You should make the dialogue match the character. The line "Alright son, settle down." made me think it was Soldier talking, even though it was Sniper. You never really hear Sniper say 'son', whereas Soldier uses it quite often.
The next one is sort of trivial, but, the game mode. There is no thirty second countdown on Capture the Flag. They simply stand there for a few seconds before being released. Just wanted to clear that one up.
Everyone's already told you about the grammar and punctuation mistakes. I noticed 'to' instead of 'too' a lot.
Other than that, you've got a good story here. I'm going to hold off on thumbing or tracking yet, though. Keep working!
339688 Thanks for the feedback.
The 30 seconds where more or less added so that I could fit in some extra dialog before the match started. And after rolling it around in my head for a while, I can see why you think that line needs changing, I'll change it right away.
Also! Forgive me for not updating this frequently.
I've only really just done 3 paragraphs for the 2nd chapter.
Its not that I'm busy or anything it's just that I'm making this up as I go.
Not to mention I just got MGS HD and have been playing that alooooot!
So after Like what, a week ago...
Since my last comment there was 300 words,
I've managed to write since then, another 300. (600 total)
My problem is, I am one lazy mothertrucker.
This comment is to inform you, Updates may or may not be slow.
Good - keeps you interested in the story for longer.
Bad - most people don't like to wait a ridiculous amount of time (hypocritically, That's me)
Just giving a small update on my progress anyway.
Ponies:
AH no rainbow dash!!
Interesting story, but it moves quite quickly.
It could do with longer chapters too, just sayin'...
But apart from that, good work!
I wonder what Scout will say seeing Rainbow Dashdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png ?
Fall on the floor crying I suppose?
is this story dead?
Get bloody goin', and finish the story!
Awesome story, but your spelling makes me want to shoot myself
JUST an idea but why not throughout the story, introduce more tf2 characters, like heavy and demo man
Moar!
http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/359/7/2/moar_by_patchy684-d5p3lpe.png
Ohhh Jake, you silly cunt. You had to forget your password didn't you?
558071 He has good reason to cry around rainbows.....
when scout is talking to sniper try not to use so many man's other than that looking forward to see where this goes