1. The Things I've Lost. (rw)
Rainier State University. That's the name given to the collection of modernized buildings set at the base of Rainier mountain. It doesn't sound like much, but it was the pride of Grenville. Set in the southern portion of the United States, it was a city renowned for its technological production and ability to produce well rounded graduates in the field. The school itself was relatively small, possessing only a few thousand students compared to the average 15,000 of the bigger institutes up north. Despite the small scale, it's a well to do school with a zealous focus on computer science and engineering, with graduates having little issue landing a job. But joining the working class is still far in the future. Right now I’m focusing on not falling asleep in the back row of Foreign Languages.
“Mr. Rogers, can you tell me what is wrong in this sentence?” Professor Birch asks in that ‘gotcha’ tone she is oh-so fond of using on students not paying attention.
I lift my head up and take a moment to look at where her hand is pointing on the messy blackboard. “Madchen is neutral, not feminine, and it should be kein Buch instead of nicht ein Buch. The full sentence is ‘Das klein Madchen hat kein Buch’...oh and I suppose there is a forgotten period at the end,” I answer in a short, clipped tone.
The professor turns her head towards the blackboard herself, as if another mistake would materialize if she stares long enough. “Correct, full points,” she says begrudgingly. I snort softly at her attempt to put me on the spot. Seriously, this isn't highschool anymore. If a student doesn’t want to work hard, that’s on them.
Behind me, I can hear two students giggling at some inane joke they must’ve shared with each other. I pay them no mind and rest on my raised fist, wiping my shoulder-length black hair off to the side so I can at least pretend I’m paying attention.
My phone buzzes on the desk. Making sure the professor's back is turned, I turn it on and glance at the message with a small smile.
“Are you in class?”
“Not for long.”
With a packed messenger bag slung on my shoulder, I jostle past a few students down the main aisle towards the class exit, completely ignoring the glares sent my way. Generally I play the good boy and don’t leave mid-class, but I haven’t seen Amaryllis much recently, what with our schoolwork and her martial arts classes. Plus I’m acing the next test with how piss easy the class is.
It isn't long before I leave the Literature building behind. Amaryllis is already waiting for me outside, resting against one of the many pillars holding up the entrance awning with one leg curled over the other and engrossed in yet another book. Everyone calls her Amy for short, but I don’t. There are thousands of Amy’s out there, but there’s one Amaryllis.
“Took you long enough,” Amaryllis scoffs, snapping the book shut and stuffing it in her bag. She finally looks up at me with her icy-blue eyes with her typical cold expression. She's as beautiful as always, especially her hair. It's a glittering crimson, cascading to just below her waist like a waterfall. She tells me she spends more time on it than its worth, but I can tell she really likes it. “I thought you were gonna keep me waiting all day.”
“I was considering it, if only to see how pissed off you'd get,” I tease back. Amaryllis scoffs and falls into step beside me as I walk past her towards the IT building.
“Whatever,” Amaryllis grunts. “How were your tests? You said you had two today.”
“First one was fine, but the second was nonsense,” I snap in irritation. “I studied the textbook like nobody's business, but I still saw material I've never seen before.”
“How many times have I told you to study more than just the textbook in his class?” Amaryllis criticizes me harshly, causing me to wince. “That professor loves his stupid oral lectures, and tests usually have material from them.”
“It’s not my fault the guy’s voice is drier than the Sahara desert. He could bore a raging elephant to sleep,” I retort back with a groan.
“What do you want me to do? Pat you on the back and say, 'oh, you poor baby?'” Amaryllis returns sarcastically in a poor imitation of my mother's voice.
“Go to hell, Amaryllis.”
“I’ll save you a spot, Seth.”
Soon, the IT building comes into view, just across the street from the parking lot we're walking through. Well, I say IT building, but it’s really a building where classes from a mixture of mathematics, sciences, and computers are housed.
Amaryllis and I stop at the crosswalk, watching for any passing cars. Sure enough, the crazy bus driver that always drives through here zips past at a break-neck speed, causing the wind to whip through our hair. The two of us watch him go in irritation. That guy always does this. If there are people at the bus stop, he slams his brakes at the last possible second. I'm beginning to suspect he gets his thrills from that sort of thing.
After crossing the street, the two of us make for our spot in the small park situated just in front of and to the left of the science building. It's not much of a park. In reality, it's more like a bunch of trees with a small clearing in the center and a single swinging bench. Nobody really comes to this area, though that’s mostly our doing. In the odd case someone is here when we arrive, a few scathing words from Amaryllis gets rid of them.
“Anything interesting happen to you today?” I ask, sitting on the bench. “You know, besides 'annoying crap' and 'screw people.'”
“Well, there goes my summation of the day,” Amaryllis retorts with a bit of a smirk, sitting down next to me. “Something actually did happen. Remember Sam?”
Immediately my mood drops. “Sam the meathead who asked you out on a date? Who you accepted because you wanted to see what he’ll do to get to first base? Never heard of him,” I answer tersely.
“I caught him outside the dining hall, telling everyone he slept with me,” Amaryllis relates.
“Please tell me you didn't just take that,” I express irritably.
“Of course not. He was all bark, no bite. I had him on the ground squealing in front of all of his stupid friends.” My spirits lift up at the thought of her teaching that slimeball a lesson. “I'm pretty sure everybody else knew he was full of it.”
“Good. Otherwise I might have taught him a lesson myself,” I grunt. Amaryllis gives me a rather surprised look.
“Oh? Are you feeling protective of me? That's just soooo sweet, Seth,” Amaryllis teases while getting closer.
“Not on your life. I just hate people like him who think they can 'conquer' women like trophies” I retort, trying to ignore the fact I was seriously considering getting up and finding the guy just a few seconds ago. Amaryllis is more than tough enough to fight her own battles.
“Uh-huh,” Amaryllis quips, her eyebrow raised. I look down, feeling my face heat up a little from her scrutinizing gaze. The bench gently rocks as Amaryllis's feet push against the ground.
The silence doesn't last very long before my phone starts to ring and break our alone time. Knowing immediately who it is by the ringtone, I quickly answer it, giving Amaryllis an apologetic look. She shrugs and pulls out her book. “What, mom?” I ask. I hear a chuckle from the other end of the line.
“Nice to hear from you too, Seth,” Elaine Rogers responds in a dry tone. “If you can tear yourself away from Amaryllis for one second, you might be interested to know that your uncle's company is offering you an internship down in Chile.”
“Wait, seriously? All the way down in Chile?” Beside me, Amaryllis looks up from her book in interest. “I'd have to take a summer off. Is it worth it?”
“I'd say it is. They're offering to pay you well. Plus, if you do well, the job's pretty much yours once you graduate,” Elaine answers.
“I’ll need to work it into the schedule, but if I’m paid tell them hell yes.” I’ve resigned myself to a hard spring semester, but right now it’s halfway through the fall semester. I can worry about it when I get there.
“Oh, they'll be happy to hear that. I'm proud of the decision you're making,” Elaine responds, the happiness easily detectable in her voice. I roll my eyes at that. I just did what made sense, there's nothing to be proud of.
“That's great. So can I go now? I was a little busy before you interrupted,” I say in a tired voice.
“Yes, you can go. Make sure you remember to actually go to class once you’re done,” Elaine admonishes me. She then proceeds to talk in a slightly louder voice. “Amy, do try not to keep him too long.”
“I'll keep him as long as I want, thanks,” Amaryllis retorts without looking up from her book. “God knows without somebody to whip him into shape, he'll never do anything.”
“Ha! I hear that!” Elaine agrees.
“Okay, do you two mind? I'm hanging up now!” The last thing I hear before I hit the end call button on the phone is the sound of my mother laughing. “Remind me never to let you two in the same room together whenever I'm around.”
“Oh, I'm sorry if the truth gets on your nerves, princess,” Amaryllis quips with a pout, putting her book away.“There's a sale on pretty pink dresses over at the nearby thrift store, if you're interested.”
“I'm going to kill you,” I groan in the most exasperated way possible. Amaryllis's musical laughter fills the air, causing me to give a small smile despite myself.
Once Amaryllis composes herself, she gives me a curious expression. “So what, you're apparently going to Chile now?” When I nod, she scoffs. “Well, have fun with that. All they eat down there is meat, as far as I've heard.”
“Of course they do. So much for variety in my diet,” I complain, rubbing my forehead. That just gets Amaryllis to chuckle.
Finally, I glance at my phone and check the time. Much to my disappointment, it's time for me to get moving if I want to get to class on time. “Well, I should probably get moving. There's not much time left before my class starts.” Amaryllis shrugs and stands up, stretching out her arms and legs. As I start towards the science building, I notice she's following me. “Are you coming with?”
“Do I look like I'm going anywhere?” Amaryllis retorts as if it's no big deal. I shrug and keep walking, inwardly pleased. “Just to the door though. I have other things to do today besides babysitting you.”
“Please, you couldn't babysit even if you were being paid for it. You and children? Recipe for disaster,” I snipe at her, grinning at my chance to mess with her some too. Rather than argue the point, she stops to think about it and nods in agreement.
After leaving the park, it isn't long before we rejoin the throng of students moving to and from their classes. Because this building has the largest number of classrooms, it can be pretty difficult to get from place to place...unless you're Amaryllis.
Those that know us move quickly out of the way. Those that don't, Amaryllis pretty much shoves out of our way. I'm not really one to go out of my way to assert myself like that, but Amaryllis is, and I have no problem following in her wake of destruction.
Once we reach the entrance to the building, we come to a short halt. I turn to face Amaryllis with a rueful expression, wishing I had more chances to see her during the week.
“I guess I'll see you later,” I tell her regretfully. Amaryllis nods. She looks uncomfortable for some reason.. Before I can figure out what it is, she steps forward and gives me a hug, her slender arms slipping beneath mine and snaking up my back.
I'm so shocked, I don't even react for a good second before I realize that she probably wants to be hugged back. I awkwardly reciprocate, but my body seizes up with tension. Out of all the people that I've met, I would’ve bet Amaryllis would’ve been more likely to break my spine than give me a hug.
“What's this? Is Amaryllis getting sentimental? I hope you're not going soft on me,” I comment with a devilish grin on my face, finally leaning into the hug. Amaryllis's immediate response is to shove me away with a disgruntled expression.
“You are such an ass,” Amaryllis complains, which only causes me to snicker at her expense.
“Yeah, hello? Have you met me?” I remark, waving a hand in front of her face. Amaryllis scoffs and walks back the other direction towards the stream of students.
“Just go to class already so I can be rid of you,” she shoots back. I watch her walk away with a warm smile. Just before I lose sight of her, she lifts up her hand and gives me a small wave without looking back.
Soon after she's gone, any trace of good humor disappears, my smile dropping from my face. Slowly, the loud cacophony of the conversations around me makes itself known. I reach into my bag, pull out a case of imported headphones, and slide them over my ears. My eyes brighten as the sounds of the outside world are replaced with synth guitar.
Now that I can properly ignore the people around me, I make my way past the elevator to the stairs that lead to the second floor. The stairs themselves are made of metal and concrete and are colored a thick red. My feet tap rhythmically on the smooth material as I push myself upstairs. On the walls, heating and cooling pipes for air conditioning and water are fastened, completely visible. In addition, multitudes of electrical wires snake across the pipes and open spaces. I guess that the school figured it would be too much money to bother hiding them, so the stairwell just looks permanently unfinished.
Turns out my hurry is mostly unnecessary. As usual, the professor is nowhere to be seen. The guy always seems to be late for his own class. It must be nice knowing that you've got tenure and your life doesn't get screwed if you fail a single test.
While this class is challenging and the subject is cool, I hate it the most. I sit between two guys, and both of them drive me up the wall. The guy on my left is your stereotypical jock, no doubt taking this class because it's a prerequisite. He always brings his girlfriend to class with him and rants to her about sports.. Every. Damn. Day. It's all I hear from him, so it gets very old.
The student on my right isn’t any better. He’s a nerd who doesn’t know when to put a sock in it. Doesn’t matter if the teacher is talking, or another student, or someone makes an off-hand comment, he always has something to say.
When the professor finally shows up, I take off the headphones and pull out my laptop. Wednesdays are the days when the professor lectures instead of the teacher assistant, so we actually learn how the code works instead of listening to some late 20’s sap waxing about theory and written code like he’s reciting bootleg Shakespeare.
Just as the class is starting to end, my phone buzzes in my pocket, alerting me to yet another text message. Hoping it’s Amaryllis again, I slip out my phone and check, only to be slightly disappointed that it's my older brother, Adam.
Adam's a smart guy. He graduated from this same college a few years ago, and now works in an electrical plant. He prefers to play sports and pursue other physical activities like rock climbing, but he told me he's using the degree to help fund that stuff. That being said, I'm not really that close with him. We didn’t talk much until one day he walked in on me watching anime and got really into it. Knowing him, it’s something that was released with the new season.
“Hey bro, check this out. Your Lie in April. Everyone and their extended family is hyping it up as the hottest stuff this season. We have to get on it!” My brow slowly raises up to my hairline. I guess it can't be more ridiculous than the ending of Guren Lagann. Though it was awesome, once I suspended my disbelief in a black hole somewhere.
The class soon comes to an end, the professor wrapping up his lecture with the vague promise of a study guide later, or in other words a test next week. I suppose I can think about that later. I stand up from my desk and replace my headphones just in time to drown out the guy next to me as he calls out a goodbye to me like he’s done since term started, as if we wouldn’t see each other again in two days.
I should probably respond to my brother. He lives an hour or so from campus, so we have to plan a time when we can both get together. We made a promise never to watch new shows without one another, so we generally meet up once every two weeks to binge-watch.
I pull out my phone as I’m walking down the stairs, ready to ask if Sunday was a good day to meet, when out of the corner of my eye I notice a ghastly radioactive green glow in front of me. I look up and ram straight into the broad shoulder of a man in a suit standing still in the middle of the stairs. With a gruff grunt, the man spins around and loses his balance. In a last ditch attempt to stop his momentum, he grabs me roughly by the chest, and both of us tumble down the remaining flight of stairs. I thrust out my forearm to absorb some of the impact, but that doesn't stop it from hurting.
I cry out in pain, pushing myself to my feet and checking to see if anything is broken. The man had fallen right on his back in front of me, but he too is standing back up no worse for wear. I take off my headphones and glare at the man in front of me, but then any tirade I may have been cooking up dies in my throat when I get a good look at him. “What in the hell...?”
The man towers over me by at least a foot. With the positioning of the lights behind him, he casts a dark shadow over me. His skin is ashen gray and completely smooth in complexion, such that he strikes me as unsettling. He possesses a square jaw and handsomely sculpted features. His face is framed by carefully trimmed sideburns, but the rest of his hair is long and wild, strewn back over his shoulders and held there by what looks to be a silver black crown. It seems to be made from a polished metal that I can't identify, with archaic-looking runes engraved into the band. The centerpiece of the crown is this strange red gem that seems almost like it's pulsating.
Getting more and more unsettled the more I look at him, I look down to see that he's wearing a tight-fitting black suit, reinforced with steel plate metal. Despite what common sense would dictate, it was clear that I'm actually looking at real alloyed steel the likes that you'd see in a medieval museum. To top it all off, there's a long red cape attached to his neck by an ornate gem, the edges decorated with white fur.
I don't know what to think. I've never even seen a cosplayer wear an outfit this realistic. The kind of material I'm seeing looks authentic and not at all cheesy like most costumes do. If one person could define a single word, this man would do so for the word 'King.' What's going on? Who is this guy?
What is this uneasiness I'm feeling? Just by standing close to him, the atmosphere feels so cold and so wrong that I can physically feel it in the air as an odd pressure that causes me to become short of breath, my skin to feel clammy, and the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end.
Music: The Life Force Here Shall Renew Me - Fire Emblem Awakening OST
The man's eyes shoot open, revealing them to be a vivid, menacing red. He transfixes me with an angry glare, to the point where I step back, starting to feel a little intimidated. He growls, revealing a set of sharpened white teeth that wouldn't look out of place on a carnivore, serving to freak me out even more.
In the blink of an eye, his gauntleted hand is at my throat, causing me to cough and choke as my airway is suddenly restricted. Seemingly without effort, the man lifts me clear off of the ground. My mind races and my legs kick at the air. My hands reach up and pull at his grip pathetically, my vision starting to narrow as he squeezes me harder and harder.
With an enraged grunt, the man hurls me back up the stairs into the foyer with a simple flick of his wrist. My vision blurs as my surroundings pass by me in a flash, and before I know it, my back explodes with pain as I collide with the railing. A cry of agony leaves my throat, and then seconds later I'm coughing, my lungs sucking in air as fast as I possibly can.
My heart jumps in my throat when I hear him slowly walking up the stairs, his metal boots resounding off of the concrete surface. I take off my bag and set it aside, standing up to face him. This man just tried to kill me...all for running into him.
A student steps out into the stairwell with two of his friends just as I'm trying to determine what to do next. They start to walk down the stairs as usual, but then they catch sight of us. Their faces soon exhibit the same confusion that I'm feeling, but it doesn't last long. The armored man transfixes the students with an intense stare, filled with so much intimidation and authority that the students run back to the second level, quickly understanding that this man was not to be trifled with.
Just as I'm trying to slip around him, the man's gaze snaps back to me, and he looks furious. “That spell was not meant for thee!” the man roars, his deep bass voice echoing ominously throughout the stairwell. I back away from him, pressing myself into the railing, utterly confused. Spell? What is he talking about? What does that have to do with me running into him? “Dost thou not understand the gravity of such a spell?! How dost thou intend to atone for this heinous theft?!”
“What are you even talking about? All I did was run into you..and you were the one standing in the middle of the stairwell!” I demand, finally finding my voice. Nothing he just said makes any kind of sense, so now confusion is mingling with the anger and fear that I feel. The man remains silent, approaching me steadily, his boots clanging upon each step. I lift my hands, hoping that if he tries to attack me again, I can try to do something. I'm starting to regret not asking Amaryllis to teach me any of her boxing techniques. "Atone!? Atone for what!? I didn't take anything from you!"
“That spell....was not meant for thee,” the man repeats calmly as he comes to a halt in front of me, his teeth gritting together. The way he says that makes it seem like he expects me to understand, but I still have no idea.
“That doesn't make any sense! What spell? Who even are you!?” I shoot right back. The man shakes his head slowly and raises a fist. A strange green glow starts to leak out from between his fingers, and the pressure in the air intensifies as though an oppressing blanket were being constricted about me.
“Thou shalt return what thou hast stolen from me...” he starts to say, but then he pauses, looking at me oddly. He emits a low hum as if noticing something for the first time. He lowers his hand, and the glow disappears, “Intriguing. Most Intriguing. Perhaps 'tis not a total loss after all.”
The man starts to walk in a slow circle around me, looking me up and down as if sizing me up. He focuses especially on my face as if trying to memorize my features. Whatever he's doing, I know that I've never been more frightened than I am right now. I just want to get as far away from this strange man as I possibly can.
“What are you doing?” I try to ask with a shaking voice, but the man doesn't respond, continuing to size me up. Hoping that this is a chance to leave, I try to move.
“Remain still,” the man commands me. I blink in surprise, but that surprise quickly turns to irritation and impatience.
“Like hell. I'm leaving!” Just as I start to move, the man's eyes narrow, and then the oppressing feeling in the air intensifies a hundredfold, crushing me on all sides by an intangible weight. I can't move, no matter how hard I try, and even breathing becomes a struggle. Finally, as I begin to sweat and grow lightheaded, the pressure lessens, and I'm left free and beyond terrified. What exactly am I dealing with here? “How....how did you...?”
At last, the man appears to have seen enough. His stern expression changes and he gives a satisfied smile, which looks plain unsettling with those pointed teeth of his. “Indeed. Thou shalt do just fine,” he decides. He turns the other direction and descends the stairs, his cape fluttering in the air behind him in the process. As he gets further away from me, the fear I'm feeling starts to become replaced by utter confusion and anger.
“What? What the hell? You're just gonna show up, beat me half to death, and then leave? Who the hell are you!?” I shout after him incredulously. The man doesn't even pause in his stride, opening the door at the bottom of the stairs. As he disappears from view, the pressure in the air goes with him. “Hey!”
I have to sit down, disoriented and completely at a loss for words. I have so many questions that I can't even begin to answer. I'd have just thought he was a crazy guy cosplayer with too much money, but that strength I felt...enough to toss a nearly full-grown man like myself several meters up through the air...that was real. My back and neck still ache from the beating he gave me.
“Hey, I heard you yelling,” another student steps out of the second-floor hallway, looking with concern down at me. I recognize him as one of the guys in my foreign language class. “You all right down there, Seth?”
“Don't...please don't talk to me. I can't think. Just leave!” I snap back at him. The edge in my voice as well as the callousness of my words causes the student to look at me in disbelief. He then scoffs and leaves me behind, bothered by my rudeness.
I can't bring myself to move. I'm still trying to make sense of what happened. All sorts of possible explanations for his nature pass through my mind and are just as quickly disregarded. Deprived of any other solution, I start to ramble to myself. “No, it was probably just some guy who wanted to stay in character too much. It's not that hard to get some gray makeup for your skin, or contacts for the eyes,” I reason senselessly “That strength....no, he probably just works out, and it's just so great because I don't...yes, everything's normal...I..”
There's nothing for it. I need to talk to someone. And there's only one person I know will listen to me seriously right now. I fumble with my phone, almost dropping it in the process. I quickly dial the number and hold the phone to my ear. The phone rings for several seconds. "Come on, pick up!"
“Seth? You do know I'm in class right now, right? I literally went to the bathroom to talk to you,” Amaryllis's annoyed voice sounds over the speakers, and I give a relieved sigh.
“Yeah...yeah I do...sorry...,” I reply, stammering a little. Amaryllis notices something wrong in my tone because the next thing she says is in a softer, more serious voice that she only ever uses with me.
“What happened? You usually don't call me sounding like a troubled toddler,” Amaryllis questions. Despite her quip, I can tell that she's worried now.
“I have no idea what just happened. I...I don't know what to think,” I admit to her, hating how it makes me sound. However, I'm just happy she's here now, even if it's only over the phone.
“Okay. Calm down, and start over from the beginning,” Amaryllis replies calmly and patiently. Gone are her insults and sarcastic remarks, which I'm grateful for. I do as she told me, breathing deeply until my heart rate returns to normal.
I tell her everything I can about the strange man, starting with how I ran into him and then moving on to a physical description. I include the way he spoke, his unreal strength, and even the strange green glow I saw right before meeting him, and then in his hand. Amaryllis remains quiet for the whole thing, no doubt reserving judgment until I'm finished.
As I talk, I start to feel something strange in the pit of my stomach. It's difficult to describe, but it feels like something is buzzing inside of me, trickling through my veins to the furthest reaches of my body. I start to breathe harder, and I quickly finish up my summation of the previous events. What is happening to me?
“Seth, I'm not gonna lie, but this all sounds a little fantastic,” Amaryllis admits, much to my horror. And here I thought she would... “But I've known you long enough to know you wouldn't make up bullshit like this. I'm cutting class now. Can you meet me in front of the science building?”
“Hell yes, I'm done with this whole situation. I'll meet you outside in...whoa...” I cut off because the feeling in my stomach is getting worse, to the point where I'm starting to feel nauseous and a little drowsy. My legs wobble and feel like giving out, to the point where I have to steady myself on the railing.
“Seth? What is it? What's the problem?” Amaryllis asks sharply. It takes me a little while to respond, because now I'm starting to feel light-headed, and it's getting even harder and harder to maintain coherent thought.
“I feel...really weird...” is all I manage to get out before the dizziness gets too much to bear. I collapse to the floor, barely registering the pain from the fall. My phone falls from my hand and lands on the floor just in front of me with a clatter.
“Seth! What's going on? Are you there? Shit...hang on, I'm coming!” I vaguely hear Amaryllis yell over the phone as my senses dull. I can't think...I can't move...and I can't keep my eyes open. Despite my efforts to maintain hold of myself, my consciousness slowly slips away, until I'm clouded in darkness.
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awesome chapters you doing a amazing job
Man, I hate this guy and his outlook on life. But if that was the goal, good job in making him human enough for me to feel it worth the effort to give him my hate.
As for the request of a hardcore critic? Yeah, keep waiting (or looking maybe) cause I don't see anything obvious, but I just went through a drought of finding even half decent stories, so this caught me in a depression dip for my standards.
is amaryllis suposed to be sunset shimer?
ITT: emo jackass gets stuck in an SCP-esque event after not watching where he was going. Delightful.
4602847 Dude, what's your problem. I see you commenting on 80% of the stuff I read, and 99.99999% of it is hate, whining, complaining, or just being a dick. Fuck off.
Yeah, my guess is that this guy hates humanity so much, that he is going to get turned into pony and live in Equestria with sunshine and stars. Typical human hating setup so far. :P
Welcome to this Fic,
I've read through the whole thing once already, and I decided it would be interesting to start over and leave comments during a reread.
I want to mention that according to the Author, a great deal of readers stop at like chapter 3 or so, I implore you to push past that; Admittedly, it took me a few attempts to get going on this but before too long I was hooked. The writing is amazing, the characterizations of the characters are spot on, and some of the interactions between them and Seth are just absolutely PRICELESS. The story even coincides with points in the show, and makes it vastly more epic than the events in the show itself- And I do not say that lightly. Anyway, I sincerely hope you all enjoy this story as much as I have!
~And yes, I will be leaving more comments periodically throughout my Re-read. :)
That's chapter 1 done for me...oh dear quite a bit to go. I will admit though, you do have my attention. Wow me!
>implying you're anything more than a self-absorbed sack of shit
Oh, well soooorry not everyone's parents are useless hipsters.
4895714
Kek, probably by the end of the story he'll regret ever having been human. At least he'll be in a place where everybody has a "I'm a special snowflake!" name.
Oh, I do enjoy protags like this. Reminds me of a pissed-off Roxas. And I have a kid like that dark-skinned guy at my school. Pretty much everyone's about ready to run him through with a rusty pike.
This is going to be fun to read :D
This gon'b good
Chills man. At first reading the description I was pretty sure of what was coming. Most of the stories I've read with a jerk MC have him almost non human. Fucks all over the place just swearing and yelling. It makes it almost impossible to read. This character, while a jerk, is written well enough that he is human. He does things that I can see normal people doing. He has some friends, he has likes and dislikes. I'm looking forward to more.
Not bad...i like it.
Wow... What an asshole. But, that is the goal. The only reason in reading this is because of the heads up that he IS an asshole, but will become a decent person (because he already has TONS of potential as a character). Diaries caught me off guard, and I fully intend on actually reading it, but it was an unpleasant surprise. Keep calm, flutter on.
5367121 man we must have similar taste in stories since i am finding you almost everywhere i am.
I love this fic so much I decided to reread it from the beginning. Man, knowing the whys and stuff of this I kinda feel for Seth. I want to jack slap him and give him a hug.
A story with actual adjectives and descriptors, nice!
Jeez. This Seth fellow really is an a$$hole.
most people don't want to try to teach people that are attentive as tombstones
So, let me get this straight... This guy is not interested in sports, hates all humanity and acts like a total a-hole? How the buck did he survive up until now? I don't know about the place you live, but in the University I go (and pretty much the country I live), if you shove someone in a door like that without apologizing, you will get your face quickly "fixed" by the guy whom you showed or his friends.
Seeing as the protagonist is anti-social and doesn't really have anyone who would stand for him and assuming he isn't a walking "lifting machine", I have no bucking idea how he gets away with his attitude. He can't be that storing with his distaste to sports and constant studying, and have absolutely no influence or friends to protect him... It is truly a mystery why he still has all his teeth intact.
6375820
Okay, I get what you're saying. If you're generally rude to all the people you meet, you're going to end up getting screwed by the system, because having connections is necessary to succeed. That's essentially what you're getting at, right? I guess I should have included a scene that includes him interacting with someone in authority. Generally, when on business or when faced with a higher up, Seth is generally respectful. It is possible to make it in life without liking people, if hard.
As for physically getting beaten, I'm not sure where you live, but the campus I envision is a safe environment with decent law enforcement, so physical altercations are rare, and certainly don't spark because somebody is rude to them.
'amount' usually refers to inanimate objects while 'numbers' refers to people. Just a thought for you.
Time for round 1 of: Spot The Typo.
I quite like Seth and Amaryllis. They sound very much like people I could get along well with, ESPECIALLY with getting sick of slow-walking, oblivious idiots, 'get the fuck out of the way' is one of my most frequent and repetitive statements in life.
6376048 Sorry bro, college and university campuses are NOT particularly safe places. You have muggings, car-jackings, and rapes several times per semester (at least there were where I went to college). Campus security and police generally let football players get away with murder (not QUITE literally) and there is little to no enforcement of rules and regulations. It is part of the reason I took up Blackhawk Kickboxing and kept a telescopic metal baton in my pocket at all times (never had personal cause to draw it or use it though, I got lucky).
Biggest asshole I've ever seen.
Throne, that was quite the beginning!
You have my attention!
Re-reading this story because its that god damn good. Though I must say you make this bastard real unlikeable in the beginning. All that aside the real reason Im commenting is the first youtube link is down, all others seem to work.
Wow. This Seth guy is an arrogant scum bag ain't he. I'll only carry on reading if my views change about the protagonist by the end of chapter 2.
6798006 not the biggest I've seen. I hate year 9 and below.
Wow. I would never get along with Seth. I'm a nice guy while he is a total dick to people. Even to those who try to help him! What the fuck m8? What the fuck?
6666779
Lucky, or you lived in fear without good cause for it. But also could be a local thing like you said.
Wow I like this protagonist but I like to feed on the misery of others and not just be an asshole
Not gonna lie, I think Seth deserved that, seems like a punk. Somebody like myself might go out of my way to help them at first, then we stop when they treat us like shit. I remember kids like that from high school, and EVERYONE hated them because of this kind of attitude.
6376048 That's one friggin' Utopian place you've envisioned there, sign me up! But where I come from shoving your way through the halls in a public building can be classed as disturbing the peace or assault in certain scenarios, and even if you didn't get nicked then you'd eventually find someone with a much shorter fuse than you and the sort of build that kind of attitude breeds; this is to say if you went around acting as the protagonist did you'd get your head domed-in in remarkably short order, unless you had some impressive clout of your own to throw about, physical or otherwise.
On the other hand, college campuses are hardly the most secure places which would slightly lessen the chances of legal reprisal and Amaryllis could serve as a bit of a deterrent if her own reputation is scary enough and they hardly hide the fact they both hang out together. However, she's still one only one person and all it'd take is a collision/shove/insult to someone who was either brave, stubborn or ignorant of the situation to a great enough extent that they lash out. This would become a fairly regular occurrence, with the frequency and intensity increasing with the number of people he had to interact with, until he eventually ran into someone big, malicious or ruthless enough to either hospitalise, cripple or kill him and whilst the chances of running into such a person on a college campus would be fairly unlikely it's still possible (and can even occur well before you reach even college, someone nearly killed me with a marble in middle school) and he does still have to spend even a tiny fraction of his time in public yet outside of a controlled school environment.
Tl;Dr- His actions could be seen as illegal and will eventually get you beat up no matter where you live. Whilst Amaryllis may deter some others won't care or won't know. Eventually such behaviour leads to homicide for all but the jammiest of dodgers (read:luckiest of bastards).
I can already tell Seth is an arrogant autistic edgy edge lord weeboo. If the author is actually like this character fuck him, sincerely hope the author meant to make us hate him and this isn't a self insert.
Ugh cringey in story music links too!?
That's some grade A irony right there, considering all this character is, is a one dimensional edgy retard who has no reason to not be a functioning member of society other than "I'm emo and I hate everyone rawr XD". If you're going to make your character a raging cocksucker who is too damaged mentally to be able to empathize with other people, at least give him a good tragic backstory. At least then people can understand what's wrong with him, and so you can setup the eventual encounter that starts to heal him and makes him not act like a sociopath. Right now it just seems like an angry weeb got pushed one too many times at school and decided to air out all of his desires in a cringey self-insert story.
Yay! I actually made enough time to start reading the re-made intro!
and, I've already spotted a little mistake there.
Fairly certain the first bit needs to either be completed or be erased.
Otherwise. It's kinda hard to judge, considering I did already finish reading this before so, knowing Seth's backstory, he doesn't seem particularly bad, or badly done. Damn it. Can't remember much of the pre-rewrite asshole to give an honest comparison
this was difficult to read, even with my inspiration, it has him repeating the same things over and over again and makes it known in every sentence that he is rude and doesn't care about it. he repeats that he hates most people, he repeats that he likes Amy, he repeats and repeats way to fucking much. no offense intended, this is meant to be constructive criticism, it just makes it seem like the whole story is going to be full of repeats
So I've decided to go back and read this again, and I noticed this in the first chapter:
The paragraph just sorta cuts off there.
I imagine that's supposed to be chance.
Typo
I cannot read this. The dude is a piece off shit.
Whatever happened to Seth, he freaking deserves it. What an asshole. I'm pretty sure that was your intention, though, so good job!
This guy contradicts himself so much he gives the word hypocrite a whole new meaning.
Introverted asshole main character...who somehow isn't at least being messed with by the one guy who wouldn't put up with his shit? Well not sure how he isn't in deep trouble, as one friend who is like him is not exactly enough to avoid repercussions for dickish behavior just because. I say that because sometimes if you are an ass to someone who deserves it, most folk will in some part agree with you and generally let you be.
But when an ass simply because you give no fucks about how others feel, that tends to result in less than savory retaliation if not at that moment then later on when the shit piles up to the point someone snaps. Karma is a thing in some aspect, might not always work but generally if you fuck with bad karma enough eventually it will get back to you.
Not hating on the guy fully, he isn't just a one dimensional ball of dick. He got depth, I'm just wondering how he has been able to be like he is without SOME form of comeuppance hitting him upside the head.
Will no one address the biggest question I have? He says he is going to Rainier State Uni, which doesn't exist. That's fine, but then he mentions, repeatedly, that he is in the southern U.S. Rainier is in Washington. It doesn't get much further north (and I know this may shock you, bit north is the OPPOSITE of south) than that in the U.S. until you get to MY state, Alaska.
Where the fuck is this happening?
8880383
You answered your own question. It happens in a fictional place, in a not so fictional country.
Oh man I love people like this. They think they're the only ones and act all hard and shit, like yeah you're one in a fucking million. Not saying/hating on your character cause ya know... fiction. But I have met some people like this, usually ends up with me not putting up with their bullshit if they act like dicks toward me or my friends I ain't putting up with that shit, act like a decent human being before I put you on your ass. Still though his attitude kind of puts me off but I'll read 2-3 more chapters to see if I like this story or not. Nothing personal.
It's probably just my personal preference as a reader, butthis chapter had a lot of fluffy sentences near the beginning. It felt like your sentences all had the same structure and too many words that didn't do anything. You could cut out a lot of words and get the exact same point across, just like what I did with the beginning of this comment.These guys are hilarious because they think they are the only ones who can work hard and college is just about memorization, and yada yada yada... for most careers, maybe, but for stem? These guys are some of the first to drop. They can’t work with others, and no one wants to help them when they get to the difficult classes.
If I were to take some of the bad paths in life I wanna say I would probably be similar to seth