Oh, the Equinity!
The commotion of the panel room echoed outside the suite doors of the Crystal Convention Center, the location of this year’s first ever background character convention, better known as BABSCon (Beloved Actors and Background Stars Convention). Particularly, this room was where the fanfiction panel was going to be held. Everypony from all over Equestria, and even some characters from overseas on the Meridian continent, had gathered here in the small enclosure to converse over every topic revolving around fan-fiction. This year’s special guest was none other than the writer of Daring Do and the Temple of the Golden Rings, A.K. Yearling.
All the ponies in attendance were excited to finally talk and receive tips from one of the most well-known writers in the world. It wasn’t everyday that something like the Daring Do showing up to a convention for background ponies was going to be passed up, after all. Still, the way some amatuer authors bragged about their stories left something to be wished for.
“Hey, wanna read my story? I brought a printed copy of it along for just such an occasion!” A unicorn in a dapper top hat asked to a Pegasus sitting next to him. Their contrasting coats of blue, as well as the Pegasus’ black splotches all across his body, made an eye-catching and annoying sight for the security pony that watched over the auditorium doors. Why some fan-characters had to look quite obnoxious in color palette surpassed him. At least his creator made sure that the right shade of brown fur matched the straw-yellow mane that had been given to him.
“I swear some creators take their pony’s uniqueness way too far…” The pony muttered to himself as the two authors started talking about some of the different events and plot elements in their stories. Being a Guard in the past, the security pony knew how to zone out unneeded chatter from these two quill-heads and focus on his job. To bad the silence he’d just attained wouldn’t last for long.
“Hey, buddy! Do you write?” The yellow and black-maned Pegasus turned back to the security guard. Considering his creator had gifted him with the ability to write and have some experience with drawing, the pony nodded.
“Sure do,” he nodded back to the Pegasus. The confirmation caught the attention of the Unicorn as well.
“What? A mud-pony is able to write literature?” The pompous snob of a Unicorn retorted, levitating his hat in a blue magical aura to rub his red and yellow mane. ‘How ironic,’ the Guard thought.
“Just because I’m an Earth pony does not mean I can’t use a quill and write a good story or two,” he shot back at the Unicorn, making the Pegasus cover his muzzle from letting out a ‘You just got served!’ gesture. But the Guard had a point nonetheless. One thing he was happy his creator gave him was the adeptability of his forehooves, which, coupled with his ability to stand on his hind legs and actually perform combative steps, made for quite a character already. ‘Praise the lord that he actually got creative,’ he silently thanked the Heavens above.
“Well I’m sure you can’t surpass my magnificent piece of fanfiction that I made before the Convention.” The Unicorn chortled, just like any Canterlot snob would when showing their ‘superiority’ over anypony not from the Jewel of Equestria. Another thing he was grateful that his creator did. Being from a town like Hollow Shades, everypony within the circular formation of cabins and log homes were respectful of one another. But, just like nearly anypony would, his desire to smack the useless sack of breath intensified. At least that Pegasus hasn’t said anything about his-
“You guys got nothing on me! My story is already at nearly eight-hundred thousand words!”
‘I spoke too soon,’ the Guard pony buried his forehead into his fetlock. The things he would do just to be away from these two chucklenuts were limitless. ‘I’d even fight against the Changelings again...’
Lucky enough, A.K. Yearling had just happened to enter the auditorium. In tow, or rather following the astounded equine writer, were some Changelings. These guys and gals were different from the Changelings seen during the invasion. Instead of wearing next to nothing but saddles or a helmet, scarves, clothing and hats of every kind were worn by these unique characters. Some were even entering the cosplay competition later in the day, according to his sources from the security brief a few hours prior to the event opening. Huh, that reminded him.
“Ladies and gentlecolts! Today, I present you our Guest of Honor for the fanfiction panel, and the writer of the astounded Daring Do book series… A.K. Yearling!” An iconic, but nearly forgotten villain of the universe, opened for the writer as she made her way towards the stage. Hooves clapped together as she reached the front of the panel room.
“Thank you, Sombra,” Yearling nodded to the dark Unicorn as he stepped off the stage and proceeded to the next panelist introduction event a few suites away. Being the size it was, the Crystal Convention Center was a great venue for the upwards of ten thousand ponies that attended. If it wasn’t for Sombra’s incognito status at times, he sure made it up by making this Convention a most-remembered one.
The ponies in the room cheered as Yearling took her seat behind the podium. Her eyes scanned across the room, taking in all the visitors that were attending her first-ever writing panel. Ponies, gryphons, zebras and even dragons of all shapes, sizes and colors were in attendance. Not surprising to her in the least, especially since she authored the most recognized story series across the planet. There were even cosplayers that had dressed up in a fashion similar to her Daring Do and Doctor Caballeron characters. What an honor.
“Good morning, everyone,” Yearling greeted her crowd, “First and foremost, I would like to open up the panel to a couple of questions before we begin discussing writing techniques and tips for fiction.”
Not even the tick of her watch was heard before hooves and claws reached skyward toward the ceiling lights. Taking a quick look, the panelist chose a Unicorn in the back of the room that happened to be wearing a top hat. ‘Oh joy,’ the Guard at the back of the room rolled his eyes.
“Go ahead,” Yearling urged him as he began to levitate a large stack of copy paper from his satchel. It sure was a lot of parchment for someone coming to a fanfiction panel. Some of the attendees guessed that writing during a writing panel was keen for some authors. But they were about to be in for quite a trip with this snobbish quillist.
“Well, it’s not a question, but rather a declarative statement…” The Unicorn started off as the stack levitated towards the Guard’s helmet. A series of tink sounds could be heard as the straight edge of the papers were aligned by tapping them against the strong metal. This left the pony in a hidden fit of disgust, but the Unicorn paid no heed as he directed his attention to Yearling once more. “And by declarative, I mean my fanfic.”
‘Sweet Celestia can’t save us now...’ Yearling’s face buried itself in her hooves as the Unicorn began to give her some statistics about his work.
“N-Now it’s not published yet, but it has thirteen views on PonyTale…” PonyTale, the website dedicated to fiction created by some of the attendees within the room, and even Yearling herself when she wrote some shorter works. It was also an extension of Pony Bugle, another website dedicated to the background ponies and characters that were created from a different cut of cloth. But that couldn’t begin to discount how much a foal this Canterlot-born amateur was making of himself. Amid scowls and grumbles, he began to read the first line of his fanfic’s first chapter.
“Chapter One. Genosis Three. In the beginning, Princess Celestia created my amazing, amazing original character, Lightning Hoof.” Yearling had had it. Her forehead slammed against the podium as the characters around him booed and began to pelt him with whatever objects they could find laying around the room. Even the Pegasus next to him slapped the stack of papers out of the Unicorn’s grasp.
“Not even I would stoop down low enough to attempt to make A.K. Yearling, of all ponies, read my fanfic…” Amid paper balls and even a convention bag filled with bricks, the Guard made his decision to boot the Unicorn from his post.
“You’re outta here!” He yelled as his teeth gripped the back of the Unicorn’s dress shirt. Without a second to fully take in what was happening, the security pony pulled him over the back of the seat and began to drag him out. Pony and dragons alike cheered for the Earth pony as he dragged the dazed Unicorn out towards the suite corridor. A quick survey of his badge identified the scum as ‘Phoenix Quill’.
“If I ever catch you trying to make one of our Guests of Honor read your fanfic, I will personally tie you behind the train going to the Badlands. Got it?” The Guard was furious. All Phoenix could do was shake his head wearily and cover his face with his hooves. ‘What a narc…’
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- Regidar · 1.2k words · 72 26 · 2.6k views
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I slapped this onto my Read Later list until one detail made me do otherwise:
...
... Really? I mean, it's a tiny detail to nit-pick over, but...
Oh yeah, also, you left
at the bottom of the story.
Anyways, this was entertaining and I totally started reading the fanfic in the voice of that character from Sanity Not Included whose name escapes me.
3898503
Thanks for catching those little mistakes. I should pay more attention to the documents.
3898530
Actually, I was referring to the 'humanity' part. You know, being a word referring to humans? But still, just an unimportant detail in the land of ponify-everything.
3898591
I'll eventually think of something to replace it.
Well I ain't that creative, good Sir.
Incomplete thought?
3898816
Lemme take a look at that. There should be a comma, and then more description afterwards.
3898816
Found it. Somehow, the GDoc messed up and didn't copy over to the chapter correctly. It should be fixed now.
3898985 Cool, glad I could help. I love this story a lot!
3899000
Hehe. There'll be more to come once I get the entire convention story done and posted.
3899008 I'll be expecting good things from you. I can't wait.
3899010
Yes, Sir!
th05.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/075/a/7/derpy_salute_by_sircinnamon-d4szp73.png
3899040
>No derped eye
>0/10 would not friend
3899050
fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/094/1/0/derpy_hooves_by_godoffury-d60hho6.png
Problem solved! :D
3899064 Much better
3899069
Derped eyes is best Derpy.
It's okay... But to be honest I still didn't find it funny. I didn't notice any changes from the copy you asked for help with and the only thing it achieved was making me feel bad for Phoenix Quill.
But it's not bad. It still has potential.
3900044
This was submitted before I asked about it on the forum, but I decided to use my approach and kind of make it "comically realistic".
Equinity: Humanity ponified by the great Phoenix Quill.
Gotta say, I found this one to be funny. Got a couple of tiny issues with it, but otherwise a superb work.
Firstly, I feel there was some missed humor potential as far as different types of fanfiction: this is a bit more of a meta gripe, mind you, as it's just me complaining that there wasn't more in a story I rather enjoyed. You did a good job portraying certain pitfalls certain fanfic authors fall into, though, which is an interesting direction to go, so that's nice.
And secondly . . .
. . . while I think the word totally works in this context, it feels a tiny bit clunky, all things considered. Of course, I'm not much one to talk, but you get what I mean.
And, final thing, the closing paragraph could/should be separated into 2, after the line
as the Unicorn's thoughts are an entirely different subject matter than the Guard's righteous wrath.
Overall, a well-written work that I rather enjoyed.
This was good XD
4133689
Glad ya liked it.
4136950