Cold.
That one word describes how I feel every day. But not because of the temperature or anything, I've just always felt like that. I live a life as the proud son of a noble. I dress fancy, eat fancy, talk fancy, heck I even have to sit down like all those snobs.
Thats right, I said it. I hated my life. It was always ‘Do this… Do that… Oh no, you’re doing it wrong!’ Worst of all, nopony knows what happens within the bounds of my home. Nopony know how much pain I am forced into at times, nopony but one.
My little brother. He knows what I have to endure because he must as well.
I try to cover for him as best I can. Take the blame and the blows when he gets into trouble, but sometimes its not enough. The pain I take for him is nothing compared to when I see him on the ground, bruised and crying. That pain is indescribable.
But I would do it again and again. Its what family is supposed to be.
Just a story I will be doing while I am not working on my project story. Based after season 3. Please comment and rate, if you downvote, tell me why.
This is
AMAZING
How old are they??
3818574 Snowfall is about one or two years older that Twilight. And Pyre Blitz is about the same age as the CmC
I-I love it...
This is one of the only OC stories a I actually can stomach.
Great job, sir!
Liked and Faved.
3819141 Question. What was it that you liked about it. I would like to know so I can understand how to keep readers happy
3819154
I-I guess the fact that the story is a bit rushed, but, by rushed standards was pretty easy to stomach, and that his backstory is over-used but worked pretty well with the story altogether.
3819176 well, I'll try and keep you entrertained
While I also think that a slower pace would improve this story, what you have is very well done. I would concentrate on character development for Snowfall. He hasn't expressed as much emotion towards his predicament, as you would expect. I will be keeping an eye on this story. I am quite interested in where it may go. You sir ( or ma'am) have earned an AWESOME point current tally 1
Good Luck!
3821475 I will do what I can to slow the pace. I am still a novice writer after all. Even I am surprised by all the good comments I have already receved. But I will develop character for him over time.
This will also probably end up being a romance story as well.
Cool Story! No pun intended.
its should so do not don
great chapter
3861699 fixed
Uh oh, something tells me that something bad is about to happen soon. Anyways, nICE chapter. Ok, i'll stop with the ice puns now.
Stop being a moron snow, pinkie alone would beat up your father if she knew
4017047 but she doesn't know. And he don't trust nopony
4017108 but a princess? That's just stupid
4017193 ok, I'm having a moment here because I am trying to concentrate on writing another story. What do you mean?
4017215 not bad stupid, it moves the plot along
4018977 oh I get it, but I have to ask, did I go too far with the guards?
4019499 nah, it seems the father would do that
Ok.... Its spelled "Pinkie" rather than "Pinky". Also, you forgot to capitalize Sugarcube Corner.
Otherwise, looking forward to how this goes.
I love how he manages to keep to himself when questioned. In most stories I read like this, the victims spill their sob story to the first pony that takes an interest in them.
Exactly how old are the brothers?
Can't wait for MOAR!
4680136 ages are just generic usual ages because im lazy
4680109 yeah well. I know how to keep contained
4681776 Gawd, I come back and it still isn't updated!
it's okay, no pressure or anything. I just enjoy this story....
4721599 but its only been like a week since you last commented?
4722323 Wait, that was a week ago? Oops.
There just aren't a lot of stories like this in the group... Anyways, continue with your day!
4723492 you know, at the time I recieved this comment, it was about 2 in the morning. Just sayin
4725114 Huh. It was about 8 in the morning when I wrote it... Oh! You're in a different time zone!
4725148 yeah, austrrailia
4727755 ooh. New York!
4728691 ah, I see. For me at the time of this comment, it was 5:40am. So that would have made it about 3:40pm... give or take.
I hate time zones.
4730003 Your right. Yea time zones suck
4680136 From how little suspicion there was of Snow and Blitz, Snow is in his late teens 17, 18 and Blitz is in his early teens 13, 14.
A great start to a (Hopefully) good story!