• Member Since 23rd Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 24th, 2021

EclipseSight


Just a guy who likes to write. I let my stories go where they please. I'm just their instrument of creation.

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When you have lived as long as Celestia and Luna, things are bound to go wrong. Sometimes it can take a thousand years or more for the repercussions, but they always will. Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash must help the two princesses overcome these repercussions, before all of Equestria is swallowed in darkness. Without the Elements of Harmony to protect them, will they succeed, or is there simply too much to fix?

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 6 )

This is certainly an interesting start. There's not quite enough yet to make a solid judgement, I'm excited to see where this goes. Best of luck to you! :twilightsmile:

Thanks Jet. Yeah, I guess there really isn't much is there? Don't worry, that'll change soon.

Ooooooh. This is really interesting. Who are these ghosts? What happened while Luna was on the moon? This is setting up to be a really cool story.

The main cast seems to be in character and I'm finding myself immersed your writing style. Though, there were a few moments where the narration was kind of unclear. For example, when you said, "Her friends all knew that she sometimes decided to sleep a lot less than she did-". My recommendation would be to try reading what you've just written out loud to make sure it flows. Little nit-picks aside, really liking it. :twilightsmile:

I'm so sorry this took me so long to review. I've had a rather insane last several weeks.

I'm really liking this so far. I really like how you're exploring the repercussions Luna's banishment had. I haven't seen anyone do that before. :D

I don't really have much else to say, but I'm excited to see were this goes. :D

4093100 Yeah, that's pretty much what this story is about. Well, kind of. Luna's fall to darkness and banishment is just one mistake that will be explored. Though it's the one most fixed in canon, so I thought that I'd explore that first.
Thanks for the comments, I appreciate them a lot. :pinkiesmile:

Oh. My. Gosh. This took forever for me to get to reviewing. =_= I really need to learn to manage my time better.

Anyways; this is getting more and more interesting with each chapter. I'm really liking Slasher as a character, I'm really hoping he gets some more time in the spot light. Luna's conflict in this chapter was interesting. The fight was well described and tense. Yeah, I'm excited for the next chapter. :D

I do have a couple of nit-picks though. First off, "The lavender alicorn threw up a reddish purple bubble too block the attack." You used the wrong kind of 'too'. You'd only have one 'o' in this case.

Secondly, "When will you learn that there are more important things than your princess hood?" There's no space, it's just 'princess hood'.

Aside from that, there's not really anything to complain about. :D

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