(From the journal of Miles Manners, Beeologist.)
I have done it. After countless hours of research and hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars, I have cracked the code. I have always known there were other worlds out there, teeming with life. I could sense the bees that inhabited them. They would buzz to me in my sleep. So I knew if they were contacting me, I must be able to contact them. By cracking the Waspatory code I have discovered a honeycomb of universes much like our own. It links our planet to another through some sort of interdimensional bee portal.
Using my Bee Vision, I was able to channel through a bee on this other planet. It is a bright, beautiful planet full of amazing things. However, I do not see anyone protecting its citizens from the everyday un-bee justice that plagues their world. So soon I shall go there to deliver some much needed Beeietic Justice.
Later that very same year...
“Hello, I am doctor Miles Manners, wasp themed Superhero by day, but at night I become the masked vigilante known as Doctor Bees! Sworn to protect my citizens with my amazing bee themed super powers, I fight crime and deal punishment the bee fashioned way. But today marks the next chapter in my expanding autobiography. For you see, I am in the process of visiting another world in need of righteous bee justice. This experience so far has left me with a falling sensation. Which, oddly enough, I am doing just that from approximately several miles from the ground.
“No worries, however, for this parachute full of bees oughta put a stop to that.”
So with a pull of the chute cord, countless dead bees flew out of the now useless bag.
“What? My bees have failed me? Oh curse this dreaded high atmosphere. With the ground quickly approaching, no signs of help, and the inability to stop speaking out loud, I fear I may have finally reached my end.”
This situation looks grievous indeed. With no signs of bees, will this be the end of our brave bee hero?
“What is that? Do I hear the unmistakable sound of bees approaching?”
You do?
“Yes, it is! I shall use my bee scent to draw their attention.”
Raising his arms up high, the odorous, volatile stench of Doctor Bees spread, drawing bees from just below to aid him and nearly killing everything else. In a single fluid motion they layered themselves into a finely woven carpet, catching Doctor Bees in time.
“A bee carpet ride. This is something I could only ever dream of back home. And here it is a reality.”
Scooping a bunch of bees into his hands, he brought them to his face and inhaled, passionately exhaling in near orgasmic glee at their scent. When he drew his hands back, many of the bees remained on his face, making a bee beard.
“The bees here smell so fresh, as if they had been cleaned regularly by someone other than me. This place really is magical. My bee brothers, sisters, and estranged cousins, show me this beeutiful place.”
And so the bee carpet flew on, guiding Doctor Bees on a tour of this new world.
“This place's beeuty is just too much. Combined with my speaking aloud and the rhythmic buzzing, I cannot suppress my urge to break into song.”
Oh God…
“What is this place,
“Filled with so many wonders.
“Casting its spell,
“That I am now under.
“Bees in the trees,
“And bees attacking that bunny.
“Bees flying free,
“And bees with their honey.
“HOOOONEEEEEY!
“Oh, what a beeutiful place,
“Sure am glad I didn’t land on my face.
“If I knew this world had so much to see,
“I'd have come here sooner and brought more bees.
“Yes I, love, all, these, BEEEEEEES!”
After his... “musical” number, Doctor Bees's new found friends set him onto the ground.
“What a joyous and welcome ride to safety. I thank you for your services, but I must now ask of your aid once more, for you see I have come to this world of yours to help its people. For me to do so, I must first construct a new hive so I may rest my bee bum. Tell me, is there a suitable location?”
“Bzzz bzzz. Bzzz, bzzz bzzz bzzz.”
“I see, there is a lone cottage inside a tree just up the road. Take me there, brothers!”
Later that very same day...
“Nananananananana DOCTOR BEES!”
“Bzzz bzzz.”
“Rest assured Buzzworth, my totally original theme song is inaudible to anyone other than myself.”
“Bzz…”
“Ah, we are here. There are many non-bee creatures roaming around. Are you sure this place is suitable?
“Bzz bzz.”
“Very well, lead me to this “Fluttershy” you so humbly speak of.”
-----
Inside the cabin, Fluttershy was enjoying some quiet time to herself. She gave a light blow to cool the cup of tea she had poured. It was a peaceful time, mostly because her dear friend, Angel, was taking his mid-afternoon nap. She peered out the window, smiling in the glory of Celestia’s sunlight. Yes, today was such a beautiful day, and not even a cranky white bunny could change that.
But unbeknownst to her, a visitor would soon be knocking at her door-
CRASH!
“Knocking is for sellout pussy superheroes like Superman. Real crime fighters use any and every chance to show their heroism, strength, and manliness, no matter how mundane the task may be.”
...or he just kicks down Fluttershy’s door.
“Now, where is this Fluttershy? I only see a cowering yellow pony under a table.”
“Bzzz bzzz bzz bzzzz.”
“What? That cowardly yellow pony is this Fluttershy you spoke of?”
“Bzz.”
“I see.” He turned to the pony who was still shaking intensely. Without even considering if the pony could speak or even understand him he spoke. “Fear not, little pony, I am here in peace. And not that lame, non-violent peace, but the kind of peace that kicks crime’s ass in the name of justice. I come before you in need of a place to stay so I may do just that for your world, and seek your hospitality and friendship.”
Fluttershy stopped shaking, and stuck her head out from under the table. Her tea cup sat atop her damp mane.
“F-friendship?”
Doctor Bees extended his hand towards her in a gentle gesture. Smiling, his face beaming with innocence that nearly rivaled Fluttershy’s, he nodded.
“Yes.”
Fluttershy placed her hoof into his hand, and he pulled her upright from under the table. After placing her tea cup on the table and whipping off what tea she could from her head, she spoke.
“Um, would you like some tea, Mister…?”
“You can just call me Doctor Bees, masked vigilante.”
“Oh, I see.” Fluttershy said, unsure if he realized he wasn't wearing a mask.
“And I would love some.”
Fluttershy poured another cup of tea for herself, and one for her guest.
“Do you have any honey?”
The question took Fluttershy by surprise. “H-honey? Um, yes, I suppose I do.” she walked into her kitchen for a moment, quickly retrieving a small bottle of honey, “But what do you-”
Doctor Bees took the bottle, greedily pouring as much of it as he could fit into his cup of tea. Fluttershy looked on in astonishment.
“So, um…” Fluttershy thought carefully of what to ask. Would it be too rude to jump into what exactly he was? Or should she start more casually? “W-what do you do, Mister Bees?”
“Please, Doctor Bees is fine, preferred, and trademarked.”
“So you’re a doctor?”
“Yes. A crime fighting doctor, delivering a prescription of pain and justice on the wrong doers of the world.”
“So you help other ponies? I mean, help whatever you are.”
“Who, or what I helped before is in the past. I am now here to help you!”
“Oh my, how noble of you. But won’t the… people where you’re from need you?”
“It is quite alright. I have left the fate of my world in the capable wings of my highest ranking official, The Buzzinator.”
BACK ON EARTH
“OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT THING?”
“RUUUUUN! IT’S COMING THIS WAY!”
“IS THIS ONE OF THAT CRAZY BEE GUY’S EXPERIMENTS???”
From around a street corner, a massive robotic bee, easily twenty stories tall, stomped on a car, crushing it like a flower.
“BUZZ. KILL. DESTROY. STING.”
From its antenna, lasers rained down onto the street full of fleeing, screaming people.
BACK ON EQUESTRIA
“They will be just fine.” Doctor Bees nodded reassuringly.
Fluttershy, less assured, nodded and sipped at her tea. Something about this… man? She still didn’t know what he was… something about him was unsettling. Almost as if simply being around him would be disastrous.
“Mmm, that honey was so sweet, so golden rich and full of love. As if the bees made it purely for you.”
Fluttershy blushed. “Well, they did put a lot of work into it. You see, two years ago I helped them with finding a suitable tree to nest in after my friend Applejack accidentally-”
There was a sudden crash as the cup Doctor Bees was holding fell to the ground.
“You… helped them?”
Fluttershy stammered, “Um, y-yes, of course. I help all the little creatures that I can. It’s what I do.”
Doctor Bees rubbed his chin in deep contemplation.
“Can it be…?” He leaned close to Fluttershy’s face, causing the meek pegasus to cower into her chair.
“W-what is it?” Fluttershy whispered.
“There are not many who understand the way of the Bee. I have had many apprentices come and go, most failing to fully grasp what it means to be a crime fighter in the name of bee justice. The rest were ironically allergic and had to be disposed of at the local pig farm.”
“I… I don’t understand.”
Doctor Bees stood up abruptly, startling Fluttershy.
“It’s settled then. We must perform a test, to decide whether you are truly worthy or not of being my sidekick.”
Fluttershy stared blankly at the man. “Um… what?”
“You see, we do not simply choose to become what we are, but we are chosen to become what we are meant to be chosen to be.”
Fluttershy continued her blank stare.
“I was chosen at a young age to take up the mantle of Doctor Bees. I was a nobody, worthless to the world. No purpose. But then one day that all changed.” He suddenly grabbed onto the tablecloth. “FLASHBACK!”
Fluttershy hid behind her wings from the shout and the rapid reverberations of porcelain crashing to the ground. When she gathered the courage to look she found herself staring at a white table cloth hung on the wall. The same cloth that was on the table, itself now only holding the single tea kettle.
From his briefcase (when did he bring that?) Doctor Bees brought out what looked like a old fashioned film reel and a small projector. With a much practiced stride he set it up, wound the film, and closed the window shades.
“Buzzworth, lights, if you would.”
The lights went off, and the projector came to life. There was no sound, except for the motor of the projector as it started.
What caught Fluttershy’s attention first was the giant maple tree taking up most of the screen. Erratically, it zoomed back, then slightly forward again, trying to focus on a small boy and larger woman. The camera then settled, and a man ran into view and stood on the other side of the little boy, all three of them smiling and waving.
Fluttershy caught a glimpse of Doctor Bees waving back. A little weird…
The scene then skipped forward to them sitting on a blanket, enjoying a picnic. Fluttershy couldn’t suppress a giggle when the woman dabbed some white cream onto the boy’s nose. They looked so happy, so peaceful, just like a family should be.
“This is when the magic happens.”
Fluttershy’s brow rose, then looked back to the screen. The man swatted at something, and immediately began to panic. The woman started flailing her arms around, swatting at barely noticeable black dots. The boy, however, continued to sit in ignorance, enjoying his sandwich.
Fluttershy watched in horror as more people became visible on the camera, all screaming and running around. And yet the boy just sat there, unphased. Then, one by one, they began to drop to the ground, still. The woman from before crawled into view, grabbing onto the boy’s leg and said something.
The boy looked down to her, placing a hand on hers. He removed her hand from his leg, stood up, and walked towards the camera. He grabbed a marker and paper, wrote something, and showed it to the camera.
“This is my audition for the side kick of Doctor Bees”
Then the screen went white as it hit the end of the film. The lights clicked on, and Doctor Bees stood up. It was quiet for several minutes as Fluttershy couldn’t look away from the blank screen.
“Summer of ‘74. That was when I became the sidekick to the former Doctor Bees. With years of training and fighting crime, eventually one day I took his mantle.”
Fluttershy almost paid no attention, still lost in the nightmare she had just witnessed. Bees attacking innocent people like that? Unheard of!
“And now, Fluttershy, it is time to test your power over bees.”
“W-what? No, no I don’t think-”
“Be sure to meet me at the school in half an hour. I have some preparations to make.”
“T-t-the school? How do you know-”
CRASH!
Fluttershy winced from the sound of breaking glass. Now with two holes in her home, she’d be needing to find a repair pony to fix all this mess.
“I wonder if Big Macintosh is free…” she shook her head, “No, first thing, I need to get to the school yard. If this turns out anything like that horrible movie… oh no, I just couldn’t bear to know I could have done something to stop it. I know, I’ll see if somepony else can help.”
“I can help!”
Fluttershy jumped from the sudden and quite cheery voice.
“Oh, Pinkie, you startled me. But… that’s good, because I need your help. Can you meet me at the Ponyville School?”
“Sure!” Pinkie replied, peering in through the shattered window. “I’m sure Twilight will be there too, since she’s following me and all that.”
“Why is she following you?”
“Pinkie Sense.”
Fluttershy, needing to hear no more, only nodding. It was a wonder it took Twilight this long to catch onto the oddities of Pinkie.
“Okay, good, maybe Twilight can help explain something about this Doctor Bees.”
What the hell...?
So...
Doctor Bees is going to retire and... Fluttershy is the chosen replacement?
...I've seen weirder.
~Skeeter The Lurker
What's this!? An orphanage full of fillies and colts depressed about their lack of parents? A healthy dose of BEES should cheer them up!
Silliness aside, I may give this a read.
WOAH! From the author that gave us a sensation greater than FoE, greater than Cupcakes, Greater than the tiny little red (died black) and black Alicorn named Nyx... Greater than Cakebutt's flank even, comes a new story!
I said it yesterday, but it bears repeating: the internet is wonderful sometimes.
You wrote this when you were drunk, right?
don't think I forgot about that. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Good as ever ROB
Shouldn't this story bee a tragedy?
Oh good god. This can only end well.
My God, ROB, this is as masterful as it gets in both dialogue and delivery in jokes.
Priceless.
I knew it was only a matter of time 'till a fic about good ol' Dr. Bee's came out!
Rob, you lovable drunk. You wrote a thing again.
It is beeyond Fabulous!! TOO BEE OR NOT TOO BEE!! ... continued, because it is actually very enjoyable to read
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSbtXn280kLpmsIWGWW0aKZT1sDEwybW1cGpkt0vigaNRKsP3razg
Rob, I love you.
From, Bob.
Surprisingly a new story by this guy
The audacity! How can this bee? All these missed opportunities for BEEEEEEEEES!
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/017/8/1/my_little_bees__friendship_is_pollen_by_oblivinite-d5rriix.png
you come out with a new story, and this is what it is. I like.
What's this? A fan fiction about Dr. Bees? My camper-van full of bees should put a stop to that!
Sweet heavans above,
I didn't know you were a Harry Partridge fan, this calls for a large influx of bees!
Sees the tite and the picture
Hell Yes.
Sees who the author is.
Hell Freaking Yes. My Little Dashie got me into fanfiction. I didn't cry as much as though, but the feels I felt after reading stayed with me for almost a week. Now your bring my favorite Harry Partridge cartoon to Equestria. Thank You for beings so awesome. I'll return... with feed back.
Sees the title.
HIM. YES. GOD YES.
Sees other stories.
HE MADE My Little Dashie?
I got to say, I love how you added depth to Dr. Beez. Though his origin story is a'lot creepier than I thought. Though it still wasn't as creepy as that "Father and Son" picnic from the ordinal short.
I never thought I'd say this, but: This looks like a job for Pinkie Pie, all right.
3655356
It was only a matter of time...
Beautiful.
Simply beautiful.
Now all we need is a Starbarians crossover.
I laughed, I cringed, I laughed some more, I began typing this, I hit the favorite and like buttons, and I will soon hit "Add Comment."
beeutiful
3651693 Maaaaaaaybe
3651899 Thank you. That was one of my favorite lines in this chapter, but trust me when I say I got some even better ones coming up.
3652317 you too Bob.
3652560 I know I left out a lot of good chances to use that, but I didn't wanna over use it. Plus I was trying to keep the bee words in Dr. Bee's dialogue and out of the narration.
3654614 Ha ha, yeah...
3655037 You know, it's funny you say that. I bounced around a few different ideas as to his origin story. The other idea that I almost used was a lot more timid, but I thought about that scene with the picnic and was like "Naw, I think this'll fit more."
3661165 But... two of those examples are Dr. Bees' dialogue. And the narrator is the one who draws out the word "Beeeeeeees" in the source material. So....
...
I believe the conclusion I'm trying to make is that this Saturday's episode was AWESOME! Woooooooooo!
3651651
Oh no! Beeware of all the BEEEEEEEEESSSSS!
*Takes off glasses, sighs*
Rob, what can I say? Other than point you in the direction of, once again, my previous comment.
What's this?!
A comment section for such a unbee-lievable story with nary a bee-themed avatar to represent our honey-making heros?!
My google search of BEE PICTURES ought to solve the problem!
You captured the mood and tone of Super Hero Parody perfectly! Had me laughing the whole way, Especially with how you wrote Fluttershy and the narrator.
Harry Partridge would bee proud!
Can't wait for more!
Lol, I remember a friend of mine was watching a SMITE video on the Aztec god of Bee's and took it upon himself to show me DOCTOR BEE! I flipped out when I saw this fic. Amazing! Have a favorite and like dear boy!
3661165
YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON.
Wasn't too sure about this, I loved the original video but I was skeptical how well it would translate in a fic.
Then I see this
I had to click this.
Oh dear lord. What have you done?!
not the bees
static.fjcdn.com/comments/4557821+_5f39b9eb88111f49c7891a81bee4472a.jpg
3655356 Lets double team this bitch....
That was certainly something.
Hmmmm. I hope this updates soon.
3857497 Derp, you got me! I'll get to fixing that, thanks.
4334824 I'm working on it, slowly for sure, but it's getting there.
4353266 Slow updates? Sounds like something some Beeeeeeeeees could... actually no, bees would just make things worse. Carry on!
Yes.