Luna sighed thoughtfully as she stared across her desk at the man who sat there. Yes, man, as she had to remind herself. She had deliberately brought another human to this world. She doubted Celestia would be pleased, but if things worked out as she hoped, it would smooth things over. In the meantime, it was time for the major reason she'd brought him here...a job interview. "My apologies for not giving you more notice before summoning you," she began carefully.
"No need for that, Your Highness," the elderly man offered urbanely. "After Miss Victoria terminated my previous employment so abruptly, I found myself with a great deal of time on my hands and nothing to do with it. Even at my age, a bit of adventure is always welcome...and this one seems most interesting."
Luna winced. While admittedly she'd heard nothing good from Alucard regarding his former Master, it was something of a sore spot knowing she was sheltering someone who had - from what she'd heard - brutally murdered someone for a rather callous reason. Admittedly, said woman was sired by her husband, so she really should expect such conduct... She quickly banished such thoughts. "I am sorry to hear about Sir Integra," she began gently.
The man across from her pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Though I hate to speak ill of the dead, perhaps it was for the best," he allowed thoughtfully. "Ever since Miss Victoria managed to complete the mission of the Hellsing Organization-"
"Wait, what?" Luna interrupted, caught completely off guard.
"Oh, did she not mention that?" the man asked curiously. "That is so like her, so modest. She managed to slaughter all vampires, werewolves, and other creatures of the night that refused to obey the laws of man in such a thoroughly vicious display of power that all the rest became completely cowed. And then she obliterated our rival Iscariot organization, almost as an afterthought."
Luna's eyes widened in surprise. "She's that powerful?"
"Oh, easily," he confirmed. "Though admittedly, her sire is orders of magnitude more powerful...but that's a different matter. You see...Sir Integra didn't adapt well to not having any enemies anymore. She was so used to living as though just about everyone not on her payroll was in some way connected to people who wanted her dead that...well..."
Luna nodded. "I understand. You don't need to say anymore." She idly crossed her hooves. "Tell me, what exactly were your job duties working for Sir Integra?"
The man grinned widely. "Allow me to give a proper introduction...my name is Walter C. Dornez. I worked as both Vampire Hunter and Butler for the Hellsing Organization in my life. I answered the door, I cleaned up the estate, and I took out the trash...whether inanimate in cans, or self entitled little vampire twats making a mess on my nice clean floors."
Luna smiled sagely. "Well...you sound like you just might be able to keep up with my daughter and her friends. Almost."
"Really?" Walter asked in surprise. "Well, I admit the daughter of a Goddess such as yourself is probably a handful, but isn't her father any help?"
Luna sighed ruefully. "Her father is a loving, dedicated, and nurturing husband and father...but if ever there was a poster child for mental instability, he probably shot him for shits and giggles."
Walter's eyes widened in shock. "...Alucard?" he asked finally.
"I figured you'd met," Luna murmured thoughtfully. "He recommended you when I told him what I was looking for as far as this job was concerned."
Walter swallowed convulsively. "Well...Alucard actually settled down...I must say, I never thought I'd see the night." He carefully managed to compose himself. "And...what job is that, exactly?"
"Alucard has much the same job under me as he did under Integra," Luna explained. "There are monsters in Equestria that make the things he fought in your world look like a sackful of puppies, and most of Equestria doesn't know those monsters even exist. Alucard's job is to make certain it stays that way. However, that does mean he's away from home for extended periods of time. And while my work keeps me here in Canterlot most of the time...my daughter's life is down in Ponyville."
"So I am to act in loco parentis?" Walter deduced thoughtfully.
"I'm pretty certain Alucard provides all the 'loco parentis' Scootaloo could need," Luna observed dryly.
Walter blinked for a time, then chuckled. "It will be a novelty to work for an employer with a sense of humor. But I hardly think a few young girls would require a man of my talents to reign in, even if one of them is a demigod."
Luna smirked as she felt amusement at Walter's naivete. "The three girls have a club called 'The Cutie Mark Crusaders'. They actively seek out their Cutie Marks - a concept that would take far too long to explain here - in increasingly dangerous, reckless, and noisy manners, to the point that the local citizenry thought they were disciples of Discord...who by your terms, you would call a Chaos God."
Walter chuckled softly. "Well, children of any sort can be rambunctious-"
"And that was before Scootaloo started mastering her powers and was gifted Schroedinger - now called Jerry - as her familiar," Luna interrupted. "Now imagine all of that added into the mix...oh, and Seras involved as her 'big sister', now that she realizes that's what the sire relationship meant."
"Oh...oh my," Walter concluded nervously. "And my job is...?"
"To keep the house neat and clean, make sure Scootaloo does her homework and eats her vegetables, and ensure there's always one person in her home life that's relatively sane," Luna explained firmly.
"...I take it the 'relatively sane' part is what led Alucard to recommend me?" Walter deduced.
Luna nodded. "So...will you take the job?"
"I feel I should ask about the pay scale," Walter began thoughtfully.
"200 bits a month, plus job related expenses and bonuses," Luna explained.
"...and a 'bit' is?"
"A one ounce gold coin that is the basis of Equestrian currency," Luna explained. "In terms of how much it can buy you, the average Equestrian citizen can live comfortably on 150 a month."
Walter rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Enough to cover expenses, unforeseen 'human specific' needs, and amass savings? Quite a generous offer."
"It goes up to 300 a month if Scootaloo tolerates you enough to not try and kill you in your sleep by the Summer Sun Celebration," Luna offered. "That's the Solstice."
"...she is her Father's Daughter then, Mum?" Walter asked dutifully.
"More than I'd like to admit," Luna allowed ruefully. She then blinked in surprise. "Mum?"
"A good British Butler is to show proper familiarity with his employer and their family," Walter explained. "That means only referring to them by title when discussing them to others or introducing them, and only in conversation with them when confirming a new directive."
Luna managed a smile. "Here's hoping introducing you to Scootaloo goes as well..."
I spy with my little eye, another chapter of this!
I suppose I can understand that.
Oh I am going to like you.
Yup.
Oh I love this fic.
After all, he is delightfully British.
8172554 This.
I haven't even started reading the story, and I'm already cracking up in laughter. Yay for just enough spoilers to catch my attention!
It's ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have been waiting and it has paid off.
Yay!! There's my butler!!!
Light headed, laughing to much!
Oh that poor, poor butler! I LOVE IT!
Are we going to get any chapters explaining the ulcers that poor Walter is about to get? Closest we got to puppy eyes
My everything is hurting....
Too much laughing and grinning....
This sentence sums up this story quite thoroughly.
Holy shit, Seras.
In any case, I think Scootaloo will be in good hands with Walter looking out for her. Now the question is who'll look out for him...
this is best story ever i hope there's more chapters coming up
Skreeeeeee!
(There needs to be a bat pony emote)
Let us all gather round and offer prayers of thanks to all the dark gods that allowed Tatsurou to have the inspiration to write a new chapter of this grand tale once more.
pleas sir can I have some more
it is the closet to puppy eyes
So, Scootaloo will be cared for by the second best butler (and best nominally mortal one.) I look forward to seeing how this plays out, and comparing it to the Best Butler's record...
I let out a happy squee when I saw this story update in my inbox.
Oohhh, Walter... I kind of want to see Tirek go after the Crusaders just so Walter can show just how badass normal he is without magic. I think he'll be able to take off an arm and a horn before Tirek manages to trap him in one of those bubbles.
Ha! This'll be a blast.
I shall egerly await the next update.
------------------
Till next time,
May the wolves guide thine steps, and the owl impart its wisdom into thee.
~ Eric Longtooth
Editor, Artist, Procrastinator.
I... what? I read through this that quick? ;-; I thought.. I had like 5 more chapters left...
*cries internally*
With regards to the Britishism, the word you're looking for is ma'am which is the shortened version of madam
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In the show, Walter pronounces it 'Mum'.
Wow. Seras is even more badass.
I find it a bit ridiculous that she never regrew her arm, but meh. Still looks kinda cool, just doesn't look symmetrical. Bugs me. Also 30 goddamn years as an incredibly powerful vamp and she still can't regen? But that's a problem with the show, not your story.
Now I am imagining Jerry back-sassing Walter and him just literally shredding Jerry. Then keeping the destroyed body in his sight while berating Scoots and then resuming his normal housekeeping, so as to keep Jerry from respawning. Without even blinking. For several hours.
Also Shrodinger and Seras totally belong together. And only mostly because they look like twins and this is an anime.
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Actually, my explanation is she chose not to regrow her arm, as a permanent tribute to the Frenchman who helped her over that last hurdle to becoming a true fuck-mothering vampire. Besides, 'energy arm' made an effective, easy focus for drawing out her magic.
8175604
Having to maintain an energy construct of your arm at all times seems like a pain in the ass, and it seems like she would be able to manifest it at will, without having to leave it active at all times. Then again, if I wanted to get practice sub-consciously controlling my magic/telekinetic/blood (sanguimancy?) powers, leaving them on all the time and forcing myself to use them in place of an arm is a pretty good way to do it. Even if it looks scary as fuck to everyone around you.
But I can also see how it could be a tribute to the one who was almost her first. And who was actually her first absorbed soul.
Also: is Integra bouncing around in Seras's mind/soul at the moment? Since She did drink Integra?
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...maybe?
I absolutely love your work and I am over the Luna about an update to this fantastic story! Also I giggled like a madman when Walter was introduced.
8175604 Eva Unit 1 grew an energy arm...
Then almost destroyed the world...
A typical day in anime land.
Hurray! My favorite hellion gets an update!
While I like "three stars of veldin" this story is even better. The sheer "WTF factor" is amazing, and if you're looking for ideas I would be willing to help.
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I am looking for ideas for further chapters, yes. PM me.
Assuming this is based on Hellsing Ultimate: Abridged, a meeting between Seras and Vinyl would be...interesting.
this story is really good 👍x10
I can't wait to see more.
Come on man.
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Hemomancy, actually
Ok, we need moar. What's your reason THIS time?
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Focused on other things.
8497268
Damn Its! Can't really argue with that.
Since this has an incomplete tag would I be right in assuming this hasn't been one of those fics killed by cannon and we're just waiting for new ideas for this to update? Or life/other fics to work on or a combination of all probably.
Also, I'm hoping Scootaloo doesn't copy her big sister and eat Pip. X3
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Waiting on new ideas, yes.
Wonder what would happen if some "Sun-Praisers" crashed the Solstice Festival, trying to kill Scootaloo, Alucard, and Luna.
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blood everywhere as Alucard calls him familers
You know what would be epic, is if Blueblood tried something and it pissed Alucard off to the point he temporarily became his canon self. Also I am curious who or what Scootaloo's first familiar will be seeing as it would allow her to go out in the daylight without her pendant.
What if Alucard brought back father Alexander and his cronies to work for Celestia and teaches Seras how to summon pip as a familiar and haliaity ensues with there being 2 pips running around
When is next chapter?
I think that the comment after this amount of time should be "It's dead Jim!" or at least in need of resuscitation. Any chance of that?
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Take a look at my update schedule and recent blogs before making comments like that on any of my stories.
8849932
with an attitude like that you don't have to worry about me commenting on any of your stories
Please tell me it's only on life support, and NOT dead??
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It's resting, not dead.
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le gasp!!
YAY !!