Family Matters
Alucard shook Scootaloo awake early the following morning. "Hey, squirt, it's time to wake up. Come on kid, if I need to be awake, so do you."
Scootaloo groaned, rolling over in her bed. "I thought you said I could stay home from school today..." she grumbled, folding her larger wings over her eyes to shield them from the light in the hall. She couldn't help but smile as she saw the larger span again.
"Not school," Alucard pointed out. "We've been summoned to the Canterlot royal palace."
Scootaloo shot to her hooves, rolling out of bed in the process. "What? Why?"
"No clue, but Luna's feeling pissy, so let's just do what she says, okay?"
"Alucard!" Luna shouted from the other room. "We're going to be late! Celestia is starting Day Court before sunrise today, and we're the first meeting of the day!"
"On it!" Alucard called, running his hand quickly through Scootaloo's mane to get rid of bed head, only to realize it's half ethereal nature made that futile and pointless. "Convenient," he mumbled before scooping her up. "Come on, you can eat while we fly-" He paused. "Scoot, sweetheart, you aren't ready for what my blood will do to you."
Scootaloo removed her fangs from his arm. "Then what did you mean about eating while we fly?"
"I meant grabbing you a sandwich-"
"Alucard!" Luna shouted. "Have you already started feeding her blood?"
"No..." Alucard said dryly, whistling innocently.
"Two scoops," Scootaloo whispered in his ear.
"I heard that!" Luna snapped.
"Busted," Alucard muttered.
Luna rolled her eyes. "We'll talk about this later," she grumbled. "For now, we have a chariot waiting!" She quickly led the way to the door...only to pause in shock.
Alucard pushed past her, and was surprised to see eight familiar ponies and a familiar dragonling waiting for them. "Uh...what are you all doing here?"
"Going with," Rainbow Dash said bluntly. "Obviously, Celestia wants to talk to the three of you about Scootaloo, and we want to make it plain where we stand on it."
"Indeed," Rarity spoke up. "While I don't always enjoy the antics that the girls get up to, I'd be remiss if I didn't help her to support one of her best friends. Beyond that, I need to be there for Luna."
Fluttershy had somehow snuck past Alucard to cuddle Scootaloo. "You're so cute," she whispered, nuzzling her mane, despite Scootaloo's wriggling.
"Mine!" Luna griped playfully, pulling Scootaloo from the shy mare's arms.
"I'm sorry," Fluttershy whimpered, only to smile as Luna stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry.
"Ain't never gonna be found wanting when it comes to holding a family together!" Applejack asserted.
"Besides, I need to throw a Family Reunion Party for the Royal Family now!" Pinkie bounced excitedly.
"We're gonna be there for ya, Scoot!" Apple Bloom asserted.
"Yeah!" Spike affirmed. "We won't let Celestia do anything bad to you!"
"We'll beat her up first!" Sweetie Belle proclaimed.
Alucard's eyes widened. "When do I get to foalsit these three?" he asked Luna excitedly.
Luna rolled her eyes. "While I appreciate all your support, I am unsure if we will all fit in the carriage."
Twilight smiled. "One of the benefits of gaining these," Twilight said, fluttering her still new wings. "I requisitioned a few extras."
Luna smiled. "Thank you Twilight."
The flight on the four carriages to Canterlot was rather uneventful - aside from Rainbow Dash flying alongside the carriages, occasionally doing tricks to keep up Scootaloo's spirits - and all the passengers were nervous as they arrived, the carriages letting them off in the throne room, where the entire Day Court - including all the nobles and Celestia on her throne - were gathered. This captured the attention of the entire group, so none immediately noticed the second full sized throne that had been set up next to Celestia's, which still sat empty.
Celestia glanced at the size of the approaching group. "Sister, we have something important we need to discuss." As the group arranged themselves, Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, what brings you and your friends here?"
Twilight smiled as they arranged themselves around Luna, Alucard, and Scootaloo. "Just wanted you to know where we stand, Princess Celestia," she replied, taking her cue from Celestia's formality. The noble's immediately began murmuring amongst themselves at that statement, discussing the political implications thereof.
Celestia nodded, a small smile on her face. "Sister...I owe you an apology." The entire court gasped. "1,000 years ago, I didn't fully understand your motives for your actions, and I made a terrible mistake. If you will allow me, I would like to attempt to make things right now."
Luna smiled, stepping forward. "I think it is past time we make things right, sister."
Celestia smiled happily. "Then please, dear sister, take your throne." She gestured to the throne beside her, colored in the dark blues of the night like hers was painted with the yellow of the sun. "The restoration work is finally finished"
Smiling, Luna walked up to her throne, seeing that the thickness of the cushions had been adjusted so that, when she sat upon the throne, she was at eye level with Celestia despite her sister's larger frame. The change to the throne was subtle, but the effect of visual equality immediately set the court to buzzing again.
Celestia smiled, leaning over to nuzzle Luna affectionately briefly, before turning back to the group. "Alucard, please step forward."
Alucard stalked up to in front of the dais. "'Sup, bitch?" he asked bluntly, making many of the nobles gasp.
"Alucard," Luna growled. "Behave."
He groaned. "Yes, dear."
Celestia sighed. "You have always been blunt and outspoken, Alucard. So I will treat you here in kind." She composed herself. "I don't like you, Alucard. Personally, I find you distasteful, crude, socially unacceptable, and deliberately provocative in the most delicate situations. Politically, you are a nightmare that Equestrian government can't afford."
"Oh, go on," Alucard said happily. "You're making me blush! Or, you would, if I was still capable of doing that."
Celestia groaned. "My point exactly." She took a deep breath. "However...you make Luna happy." As the nobles held their breath, she continued. "When she's with you, she is overjoyed, and the world is bright and wonderful for her, and that smile you give her is something I would give anything to keep on seeing. 1,000 years ago, I was more concerned with what was proper than with what made us happy, and that nearly cost me my sister. I know better now, and given the two of you are already bound in wedlock..." She managed a smile. "Welcome to the family."
The entire court gasped in shock, but Alucard grinned. Walking forward, he kneeled before the Solar Throne. "Your Highness, you honor me with this long overdue acknowledgement of familial ties, your denial of which nearly caused a civil war. Gladly do I embrace thee in familial love, and promise no daggers in my hands to find your back. Luna wouldn't like it. I do so solemnly swear to continue to serve the Lunar throne as a hunter of monsters that threaten the kingdom, while thumbing my nose at you and flaunting my now official status as Luna's Royal consort over the heads of all these asses who call themselves noble that I'm now officially better than them, like I was all along." As the nobles all gasped, he turned to a nearby donkey. "Offense."
"Shove it up your ear," the donkey grumbled.
Celestia shook her head as she chuckled. "Alucard, I doubt if you could make things here any more awkwardly humorous if you were singing Pinkie's Piggy Song."
Alucard grinned as he spun to face the nobles, an audible 'zip!' their only warning. "First you wiggle your tail, oink oink oink!"
His song was interrupted by startled shouts and exclamations.
"That's not a tail!" AJ proclaimed.
Rarity fainted.
"Oh...my," Fluttershy gasped out, blushing.
Rainbow Dash fell on her back, laughing hysterically.
"So that's what it looks like," Twilight commented in fascination as she continued her studies of new species.
"Wowie zowie!" Pinkie gasped out. "No wonder Luna likes him so much!"
"Applejack!" Apple Bloom complained. "Why are you covering mah eyes? He's just singing one of Pinkie's songs."
"Trust me," Scootaloo commented, covering her own and Sweetie's eyes with her wings, "you don't want to see."
Alucard continued to sing and shake about. "Then you wriggle your snout, oink oink oink. Then you wiggle your rump!" He spun around. "Oink oink oink!"
Luna groaned. "Alucard, put your damn pants back on!"
"Oh, nice buns!" Pinkie commented happily.
"And shout it out, oink oink oink!" Alucard finished at the top of his voice, pulling his pants back up as Luna instructed.
Celestia sighed. "I sit corrected. Please stand aside now, I have someone else to address." As Alucard stepped to Luna's side, Celestia continued. "Scootaloo, please step forward."
Gulping nervously, Scootaloo stepped up to the foot of the dais.
Celestia then turned to Luna. "Sister, do you recognize your daughter?" she asked, putting peculiar emphasis on that word.
"What do you mean?" Luna asked confused. "Of course I know my own-oh!" She let out a soft gasp as she realized what Celestia was saying. "Yes, I recognize Scootaloo, my daughter by my husband, Alucard, born to lawful wedlock."
Twilight let out a gasp that was echoed by several nobles as they all realized where this was going. Celestia turned to Scootaloo. "Then so too do I recognize thee...Princess Scootaloo," she said formerly.
The entire court was filled with gasps as they realized what this meant. Not only was the Lunar throne now officially reinstated as the second half of the Diarchy...but it had an officially recognized heir. Scootaloo...had been declared the Lunar Crown Princess, heir apparent to Princess Luna.
Celestia had one more surprise up her metaphorical sleeve. "And to welcome you to the family, I have a gift for you." She levitated a small pendant in her magic, a stylized sun hanging from a silver chain. She hovered it over to set it around Scootaloo's neck...at which point the pendant absorbed the solar magic surrounding it. Luna let out a gasp.
Celestia turned her eyes to the sky...and raised the sun.
Alucard quickly moved to reapply Scootaloo's Sun Protect, but Luna stopped him, realizing what Celestia had done.
The sunlight slowly flowed across the floor. Scootaloo stared at it nervously as it approached her, but it moved too fast for her to dodge out of the way. And then it touched her hoof...and nothing happened. She stared at the sun on her hoof as she carefully stepped into the light, feeling the warmth of the sun mirrored from her pendant.
"With the Sun's Blessing," Celestia intoned, "you are joined with the Royal Family."
Scootaloo stared up at her in awe.
"What?" Celestia asked, a mischievous smile on her face. "No hug for your Auntie?"
Smiling widely, Scootaloo leaped, wrapping her forelegs around her happy Aunt.
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Please let there be a bit wherein Blueblood get's beaten to a bloody pulp...Oh, and a fantastic chapter as always.
d'aww
You know, now that Alucard is the official Monster Hunter of Equestria... has Tirek come back yet???? I want to see the two of them go at it!
4891487 Yeah, totally plausible if the CMC are running around the palace playing chase with Alucard and crash into BB, he insults all of them and then makes an unwise comment about Luna. Cue all three fillies beating him up, then Alucard rounding the corner and having his turn
All hail Alucard
Another vote for BBB ( Blue Blood Bashing). I just can't make up my mind who is more annoying, Diamond Tiara, Trixie or Blue Blood. At least D.T. is young and might be salvageable. Not so sure about the other two.
4892102 10 to one says they are poker buddies
So, while I love this, I do have to question, how has all the time that's passed between luna's return, and twilight getting her wings, has what happened in this chapter not happen waaaay before that? Pretty sure a decent amount of time has passed between those two events, and doesn't feel right that it didn't happen sooner.
4893056
Because at the start of chapter one is when Alucard fully recovered from the time warp so that he could go out in daylight again. Until then, he had to spend large periods of time in the Deep Sleep. And it wasn't until just after "Sleepless in Ponyville" that Luna realized her daughter - and thus Alucard - were still alive in this time. Until then, she thought Alucard had been banished and her daughter died in the sun. That's why she was Nightmare Moon when she came out of the moon; rage because she couldn't sense Alucard in the Deep Sleep or Scootaloo through her Sun Protect.
4893252 Ok, though, I was more referring to the part about Luna not officially back before now.
4892375 Trixie is redeemed in the canon.
I doubt that this chapter will EVER stop being hilarious
Pretty sure you meant to have Celestia call Alucard "deliberately provocative." And after the Piggy Song, it can be meant in every sense of the word.
A surprisingly touching chapter, though still wonderfully irreverent thanks to everyone's favorite No-Life King. I look forward to more. Especially any political fallout you care to share with us.
4893477
My headcanon is that she wasn't at full strength until the start of season 2, when she appeared in Luna Eclipsed. At that point, Celestia asked Luna if she even wanted her old place on the throne back, giving her the opportunity to choose to be a Cadence-style Princess, title and privilege but no real responsibilities. When Luna said she wanted to go back to her old position, she was reinstated, but ceremony called for a full restoration, which meant what happened here. However, after a millennium of lack of use, the Lunar Throne was a wreck. It took since then till now - which, according to the episode Princess Twilight Sparkle, is less than a year (that episode apparently takes place exactly one year after the original Summer Sun Celebration that started the series) - to find the original design, refurbish the throne, and tweak the design so that Luna would be at eye level with Celestia without it looking like she was sitting in a booster seat.
4895189 But I thought the Lunar throne was carved from a block of solid (and really cold on the plot) obsidian, and infused with all manner of Darcke Maajiks ouv Peur Eaveelle (it's French, or something, to make it more evil) and thus would not need repairs until Armageddon?
4895613
No, that was the Nightmare Throne, which Alucard gave her as a wedding present. She only uses that one in the bedroom for roleplay.
4895641 Oooooohhhhh. I get them mixed up, since everything dark is evil. *Alondro performs an exorcism over some very wicked dark side of the moon cake*
4895656
Who said everything dark is evil?
4895706 Pshaw! It's common knowledge!
After all, isn't oil both evil and dark? Coal is also evil and dark!
Our President says so and he's.... wait a minute...
4895189
Well that officially fucks the canon. If Princess Twilight Sparkle takes place one year after the first episode then let's do some math shall we?
Assuming from Lesson Zero that every friendship report is a week apart then let's say every episode (two parters count as one) is one week in the series. Season one (counting the first episode as zero) 24 weeks, season two: also 24 weeks, season three: 12 weeks. 24+24+12=60. Going back to Lesson Zero Celestia said at that point a friendship report doesn't have to come every single week, so that's really 60+ weeks given an unknown variable. That's not even counting season 4 up to Princess Twilight Sparkle, which would be another 23 episodes. Though at that point they weren't writting friendship reports anymore, so it could be any number or days and weeks apart from episode to episode, though I'm still saying 23 at the least. 60+23+X=83+X. Last I checked there's only 52 weeks in a year (plus one day, two on a leap year, if you want to get specific), so it would be impossible for Princess Twilight Sparkle to take place exactly one year after Elements of Harmony 1&2. I'd believe 2 years, but now 1 year.
It also occurred to me as I was writting all this that within this story this point in time would have to be more than one year after her return as well. Not just because of the math I already mentioned, but also because this would be Luna's second Nightmare Night since her return. I don't see that as being too important though.
In other works: I'm calling bullshit. I also refuse to belive any one person, regardless of upbringing, average dailly life, and species, could take that much mental stress (crisis after crisis aka Nightmare Moon, Manticore, Gilda, Trixie, Ursa Minor, Hydra, Civil War, Gala, Discord, Flim & Flam, royal wedding, royal wedding invasion, Sombra, Discord again, Trixie again, mind rape aka switching cutie marks, everything that happened in the key episodes, Flim & Flam again getting special mention since Granny Smith nearly died, the Equestria Games, tell me if I missed anything) all in one year and not say "Fuck this shit. I need a vacation right now."
PS After all the time spent on Whitetail-Woods you have no idea how happy I am to swear without being auto-censored.
4947298
Princess Twilight Sparkle is the premiere of Season 4, so you don't have any of Season 4 in that.
Also, the premiere and finale episodes each take place all at once. So that's 24*2+12=60 minimum. While that's still more than the 52 weeks in a year, we're assuming that an Equestrian year is 52 weeks. Considering it included a Winter Wrap Up and a Hearth's Warming Eve - in that order - logic would dictate two years, minimum.
However, my logic - that this is just how long it took to get the work done post Luna Eclipsed - is in no way voided by it being longer than I interpreted. After all, it was a government contract.
4949659
I really hope the next premier isn't too heavily focused on Twilight with the last premier and finale both were. Not sure who the third season finale was focused on...I just know I still don't like it. One song in an episode. Fine. Two songs in an episode. Fair enough. 7 songs in one episode. *slaps Daniel Ingram's hands away from the typewritter* THA'TS ENOUGH OUT OF YOU!
I got Twilight's Kingdom and Princess Twilight Sparkle mixed up.
Anyhow, we've always gone by the assumption that time in Equestria passes the same way as in out world, and I don't see any reason to assume otherwise. The writers would have hinted at it at some point if a year was longer or shorter. I'd forgotten about Winter Wrap-Up and Hearth's Warming Eve, so this would actually be the third Nightmare Night since Luna's return. Though not explicitly stated Nightmare Night clearly takes place in fall as indicated by the setting in the episode. Two winters pass, so two falls pass.
btw I'm not trying to void anything or poke plot holes. I'm just trying to help sort out the time line. With this series sorting out the time line can sometimes be the hardest part of the story, especially what doing alternate universe stories.
4949881
As for the timeline?
It's a TFS Abridged series crossover. You seriously expect continuity?
In all seriousness, this takes place post the season 4 premiere, and I'm literally ignoring canon beyond that.
4962820
Glad you enjoyed it. Hope you enjoy the rest.
My ribs hurt!
I laughed way harder than I intended
* reads the entire song* Got anything that can wipe a smug grin off a face?
Oh god that song...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh God, my ribs!!! I can't breathe!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Not going to ask what 'props' Pinkie used in performing that song.
Extortionist.
Alucard, and the CMC, oh god.
My sides!
Are you trying to kill me?
DON'T GIVE HIM IDEAS!
I tried to warn you.
Awesome.
So she can stay in her true form without dying!
Daaw.
4892656
Considering when he refused to marry Luna and Alucard, they shot one of his nuts off, doubt it.
Of course he leaves off the "no" in "no offense".
That song! Oh, the horror! ...Why am I grinning?
"That's not a tail" and the reactions!
And so, Alucard found a (sorta) Hellsing Organization he wouldn’t mind being a part of.
One with his wife at the head and a whole lot less qualms about properness and his “walks.”
And yet...
...wait, does he know the Major was a cyborg in this story?
Aah, I’ll just say he does.
And yet...
He still had no idea why the Major was a cyborg.
(Oh yes, and Scootaloo got a better anti-sun spell from Celestia and could now be a buck-motherin’ vampony full-time.)
did she really think he wouldn't rise to the occasion
Snrk hahaha 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂