Weirdly Normal
Scootaloo walked happily down the street with her parents. Inside, she was on Cloud Nine. For the first time since the day of her birth, her family was all together in one place, without anything hanging over their heads. Gazing up at the full moon, Scootaloo thanked whatever higher powers there were for such a wonderful gift.
However, she began to notice the gazes her parents were exchanging. She knew what those meant. It was their wedding anniversary, after all. Although she wanted to have more time with her family, she didn't want to be around when her Dad stopped holding back and started 'playing' with her Mom. And she didn't really want to get in the way of them enjoying the night either. "Mom! Dad!" she called out. "I'm going to go find Rainbow Dash, show her my awesome wings!" She flapped her wings again, still loving how they felt with the added span from the webbed region.
Alucard chuckled. "Alright. Go have fun."
"But be careful!" Luna added worriedly.
Scootaloo chuckled. "I will!" she called back to both of them, dashing away as she saw them starting to give each other goo-goo eyes. As much as she loved her parents and wanted to spend time with them, the last thing she wanted was to be around when they started getting mushy...because of where her Dad would be sure to lead that.
"You sure seem to be in a hurry, Squirt!" a voice called from above.
Scootaloo looked up. "Rainbow!" she said happily, seeing her idol on a low thundercloud, dressed as a Shadowbolt. Spreading her wings, Scootaloo tried a few experimental flaps, managing to get a bit of height. However, her muscles weren't used to moving such large wings, and she was rapidly growing sore.
Chuckling, Rainbow reached out a hoof and pulled her onto the cloud. "Cool costume, Scoot," she said. "How'd you get the wings to stay on like that?"
Scootaloo chuckled. "Actually...they're real. This is what I really look like. My usual appearance is the result of a spell to protect me from sunlight, since I'm vulnerable to it normally."
"You mean like a vampony?" Rainbow asked, her eyes going wide.
"A fuck-mothering vampony!" Scootaloo said proudly. "Well, I don't think I've quite earned the fuck-mothering part of the title yet..."
The prismatic Pegasus grinned widely. "That is so awesome!"
Scootaloo grinned widely. "Thanks," she said, glad this new side of her didn't leave Rainbow freaked out or anything like that.
"So..." Rainbow began carefully, "...you seemed in a real hurry to get away from your folks."
Scootaloo groaned. "Yeah. When they start looking at each other like that, it's a good idea to be elsewhere."
"What do you mean?"
She shook her head. "Well...have you ever known one of those couples who love each other way too much?"
Rainbow frowned as she puzzled Scoot's meaning then groaned. "Oh Luna's sweet flank, they're like my folks! It's why I moved out as soon as I could. I know your pain."
Scootaloo smiled that she didn't have to explain further. Then she frowned. "You think my Mom has a sweet flank?"
Rainbow blushed. "Umm...it's just an expression, you know...like 'Celestia's swollen teats'."
"Why would my aunt have swollen teats?" Scootaloo asked, tilting her head. "What are teats?"
As Rainbow groaned and face-hoofed, Alucard's laughter briefly echoed through Ponyville.
Luna and Alucard walked calmly through Ponyville, each with a huge smile on their faces as they kept glancing at each other. Alucard was the first to speak. "We have a very considerate daughter. I wonder where she gets that?"
Luna tilted her head. "What do you mean?"
"She gave us privacy," he replies easily. "Did you see how quickly she ran off to find Rainbow, leaving us alone?"
Luna blushed, putting a hoof to her mouth. "Oh my. I hope I did not make her feel unwelcome."
Alucard chuckled softly. "Nothing of the sort. She's just coming onto puberty, and nothing is more awkward to an adolescent than their parents getting lovey-dovey."
She chuckled in response. "I see your point." She then looked at her husband side on. "Although I must admit, I'm surprised you haven't moved our actions beyond 'lovey-dovey' just now."
He snickered. "Which of course you actually want."
"I won't deny the possibility," she replied archly.
Alucard rolled his eyes. "As much fun as that is - and don't get me wrong, it's tons of fun - there's more to us than that." He looked down at her seriously. "Luna, my heart may be still, dead, shrunken, moldering, decayed, puss-riddled, and bouncing around at random inside my chest to avoid any possible incoming stakes-"
A nearby stallion vomited from overhearing the descriptive imagery.
"Hey!" Alucard snapped at the stallion. "Trying to be romantic here!" He turned back to Luna. "Where was I?"
"Avoiding stakes," Luna replied curiously.
"Ah, yes. Anyway, my heart may be all that..." He knelt down to eye level with her. "But it is wholly thine," he spake formally, "and has been from the day I first laid eyes on thee."
Luna gasped. "Oh...Alucard...do you really mean that?"
He grinned. "Of course. Don't you remember how determinedly I pursued you? Did you think I was just desperate?" He gently stroked her cheek. "Always before in my past, when I first saw something, my reaction was always eat, kill, or fuck. Not with you."
Her eyes grew rather misty. "Oh Alucard..." She wrapped a foreleg and both wings around him, nuzzling into his neck. "You are rude, crude, socially unacceptable by any era, and completely without morals or scruples...but you always know just what to say to make me melt into your arms."
Smiling, Alucard wrapped his arms around her. "I'm just awesome like that." He licked her ear playfully.
She shivered in delight. "Bite me," she whispered eagerly.
Grinning, he opened his mouth wide...then suddenly burst into laughter.
Luna tilted her head. "What?" she asked, somewhat perturbed at the ruined mood, but curious.
"Our little hellspawn is being absolutely wicked! And to her big-sister-figure/idol no less! It's too funny!"
Luna rolled her eyes as she nuzzled into him, calmer this time. "You must be so proud," she said calmly, though inside she was pleased.
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I think you deserve the title of "fuck-mothering."
So Rainbow Dash, do you think Scoots' mom has a sweet ass?
waypastwarranty.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/shocked-meme.jpg
It's been updated!
Also I really do like this story. Usually these are kind of weird cause of the humanoid x pony thing. But this is different. I can laugh from this and get a love story that feels real, or maybe the word is genuine. Either way, this story is fantastic.
4489475
I'm glad you like the love story aspect.
And maybe the reason it's not weird is because I never actually address the sexual aspect...or possibly because Alucard is a shapeshifter.
yes, just all of the yes!
Nice chapter, very amusing and good way to start my day. I love Alucard's romantic bit, never thought I'd be saying that.
I can totally see Ponyville being treated to the sight of Luna with extreme bed head and a "I got banged silly!" grin on her face dropping Scootaloo off at school the next morning.
Ok first, finaly updated! Yes!.
Secondly dammit alucard.
And finaly epic chapter and more soon?
It lives! Huzzah! And Scootaloo's trolling is fantastic. Looking forward to more.
and mine rang throughout the house
4490096 and the pain it would cause DT and SS
and the ulcers it would give Cherillee
MOAR
please
"A nearby stallion vomited from overhearing the descriptive imagery."
I literally LOL'd at that and woke my fuck-mothering dog up.
4490585 Cherilee would just send a note home with Applebloom to send Big Mac over for a "parent teacher conference" at her house.
This is the first time I've seen a SINGLE Team Four Star version of a character written in a way that doesn't simply rip off the jokes from the abridged series; and not only that, you actually managed to keep the same style of humour for your original jokes.
Bra-fucking-vo, you have earned me breathing down your neck for updates 25/7 (Bitches don't know 'bout the missing hour!).
4519638
Thank you for your high praise. This story is certainly one of my priorities.
4519672 wait... you're the author of Fortresshy... Welp, you're coming close to a follow from me it seems.
4519717
Take a look at some of my other stories, then. You might like them.
If you're looking for pure comedy, I'd recommend "Coup de Pone".
If you tell me what you're looking for in stories, I can recommend some of my others.
4519722 Comedy, Romance, and Human are my favorite tags. I'm not a fan of Anthro.
4519730
In that case, you might like "My Little Titan", and I'm pretty sure you'll like "More Than A Friend".
4519769 kk, I'll check them out.
Also, a couple of things I thought of while in bed; How is Integra still alive 1000 years later to call Alucard?
Also, will Police Girl ever show up? Maybe Alucard could introduce her to Luna and Scootaloo as his "Apprentice/Foster Daughter" (making Scootaloo and Police Girl sisters)? Maybe when she shows up, Luna will just be like "Alucard? Who is this? And why does she have such large mammary glands?"
Also, since it's 1000 years in the future; Police Girl would already be a True Vampire by this point (If you've seen/read the non-abridged version of Hellsing Ultimate), and that could result in some epicness.
4520999
Time in Alucard's home world flowed relative to his perception of time...and he skipped 990 or so of those 1000 years with a time jump.
And I don't know if I'll be including anything else from that world.
4521294 But Scootaloo and Ceras interacting as sisters would be both epic and adorable... with potential for hilarity.
4521545
And if I could figure out how to properly write Ceras without recycling jokes, I would.
4521603 I could probably help some with that, I keep imagining scenarios of Ceras in this fanfic and how she'd act... but since she'd be older (and "True Vampire"), she'd act more like a cross of her abridged self, Fem-Alucard (the actual one), and Abridged Alucard.
I don't exactly have much practice with writing though, so I may be a little slow.
4521646
And I don't know who 'Fem-Alucard' is. I wouldn't know how to do it.
However, given it's Abridged Ceras, she'd probably act the same way as usual except for during a fight, when she's super brutal.
4521657 I'm just saying that's how I imagine her being, and how I'd write her. And Alucard was female in World War 2:
24.media.tumblr.com/a9fd8498b8b873d24a0ca929ad0db3e9/tumblr_n5muzeUlNv1taouzvo1_500.gif
Fem-Alucard, also known as "Girlycard".
I recommend watching all of "Hellsing Ultimate" (The actual series, not the abridged), it'll give you a lot more ideas for this fanfic.
4521700
Ah.
This was both hilarious and heart warming, abridged Alucard is best Alucard and oddly enough I could see something like this happening in the show. Keep up the good work i look forward to more of this awesome story. Have a like and a favorite.
Alright, finaly here, time to read this awesome looking story. :D
I have no idea who alucard is.
but damn! This is hilarious. XD almost got me caught tonight!
Half-vampony scoots sounds freaking awsome!!
I'll do the fuck-mothering scoots request!
Right after I'm done with flutter-medic!
And get ungrounded!
It'll probably take forever, but I promise you I'm gonna draw that!
I hope you update this soon. :3
Also hope that by then I get who the hell alucard is. :/
4687866
As for who Alucard is...
And thank you so much! I look forward to it.
4688237
It's a YouTube video isn't it?
My ancient itouch almost crashed just by poking it. :P
And plus I live in China, YouTube's blocked an all, gonna need a vpn and a computer for that
I'm gonna find a way to view that
tomorow.
4688431
Yes, it's a youtube video.
I'm sure you'll enjoy it when you get a chance to watch it.
4490096 This is something I really want to read. The reactions of different ponies would be hilarious and when Celestia finally hears about it. We get to redefine loud. Oh, and I really want reactions from all the Elements as to Scootaloos parents.
4692024 as long as Scootaloo can finally fly, I think Rainbow will be happy for her number one fan. Fluttershy... I'm not sure if Alucard would terrorize her into a coma or if he'd find her adorable and ask Lina if they could keep her. Rarity would hate Alucard aside from his clothes. Twilight would want to study him. Applejack would probably admire Alucard's devotion to Luna and Scootaloo.
4724177
Her mane and tail have the same swirling effect as Luna's, yes, with specks of light inside an exceptionally dark crimson. And her wing membrane is the same color as the rest of her, which has faded to silvery-white.
4724306
And I just finished the mane details on the computer, dammit.
._.
Oh well, never done swirly-magicy mane before, time for some experiments.
>:D
Tomorow. (yawn) -0-
4724789
Sorry to make things harder.
Nah, my fault for not reading it properly. :P
And now its done! I'm still new to ps, still got a lot to learn.
http://g-haze.deviantart.com/art/MLP-vampony-scoots-469876764?ga_submit_new=10%253A1406023753
4733703
It's perfect!
Can I use it for cover art?
4735114
I'd be honored. :3
4735176
And there it's up as cover art!
It really is.
Poor Dash. But it's nice to know in this universe, she doesn't really have anything against her parents.
When you're older kid.
This is very sweet. It shows more depth to Alucard's character that TFS can't really show.
Said the alicorn to the vampire.
(I must commend you, this is the ONLY time I've seen someone use TFS's characters and not simply recycle all the joke, but use their own ones.)
I just imagined Alucard laughing like Piccolo after Goku found out Trunks was Vegeta's kid.
https://youtu.be/n7BLGt0wU48
This seems like a good point to leave the...
Oh, wait, that’s the dramatic entrance music from number 8.
Here’s the intro.
https://youtu.be/ZAAZsKtCSSY
Wouldn’t that be... okay, stupid question, Abridged Alucard is not a pony.
Still, I prefer the term “buck-mothering.”
or Discord's Mismatched Testicles.
That's sick yo hahahaha 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I have a sick sense of humor sorry about that I just find some things funny that Is often cringe worthy or gross to some people I also have a dark sense of humor as well as a crude sense of humor I do laugh at crude noises such as burping and farting and barfing noises as the old saying goes it's only funny when it's someone else