You go to Sugarcube Corner one day to see Bubble Berry but what you don't know is that he loves you and would do anything and I mean ANYTHING to get you. Even if it's against your will.
________ means you because this is a reader insert. The picture belongs to it's rightful owner (which isn't me).
Other tags:
(Yandere) (Genderbent) (ReaderxBubble Berry) (Second Person)
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I love it! It really felt like I was in the story. :3 5Stars ....more please
Okay um, before I read this...
Why are the extra tags in the title? Put those in the Description, and also 'Human' isn't even an extra tag because its already there as an actual tag.
I'll post another comment when I finish reading.
3631340
Okay after reading, I have to say that I enjoyed it, and I don't normally read these kinds of stories. It was well written, and from what I see is that the only reason that you have mostly dislikes is because the tags on the title make the possible reader shy away with a dislike without even reading. Also, drop the Slice of Life tag, beacuse it normally means that the story will feature day-to-day life, normal things. and getting captured by Bubble Berry is certainly not normal.
And for the heck of it, here's a revised description and title.
New Title: You're Mine Now
New description:
You go to Sugarcube Corner one day to see Bubble Berry, but what you don't know is that he loves you, and would do anything and I mean ANYTHING to get you. Even if it's against your will.
________ means you because this is a reader insert. The picture belongs to it's rightful owner (which isn't me).
Other Tags:
(Yandere) (Genderbent) (ReaderxBubble Berry) (Second Person)
3631383
Ooops you're right. I'll try to fix it. Thank you sososososo much! I don't really know much about tags hehe sorry.
3631228
I really thought that the first comment would be "It's terrible blah blah blah"
Dat second-person.
Ew.
3631406
What about it?
3631410 Second-person is a bastardization of writing.
3631402
It's Fine, I see derps with tags commonly. Go Here and look for the 'what do each of the categories mean?' link thing, it tells you what each mean. It's a good thing to look over to check if yours has the right tags.
3631418
I would have said it's more like a cheap way to put you directly into the story. But then the only real other way to do this is to make one of your characters a complete blank slate that then allows the reader to place their own wants and desires into them. Kinda like "Bella" from the Twilight series.
3631439 I agree fully, but I wanted to put it as blunt as possible. Like beating a midget with a beer can.
Fancy seeing you here, my love.
Well I like it, personally.
3631447
Love the metaphor.
Just taking a quick break from studying. Got an exam tomorrow which means I'm probably pulling an all nighter. Lucky for me my last exam is on Thursday. Unfortunately I've got three of them this week.
Oh well, such is life. And now I get to be getting back.
3631418
I write what I want. Deal with it. I'm not one to get mad at comments that say my story lacks something, I just don't want people who think they're better than others k?
Hmm...let's see...
3631436
Thank you so much
3631439
Well at least SOME people put it nicely
3631454
Thank you
But... but... but... Why not Pinkie Pie and Bubble Berry? I realize the fabric of the Universe would be in terrible danger from such a union, but still...
On an alternative note: That picture! I bucking love it!
3631481 Too late. Already better than others. But that's provided with the exceptionally low margin.
Please make another chapter. I need to find out what happens to me.
3631494
Hehe. I know the picture didn't match the story but it was the closest I could find
3631527
Yeah right
3632323
Hmm...I'll think about it...
And can somebody freaking explain why I got 24 freaking dislikes instead of pressing the dislike button?!?
3635009
Thank you.
Wow. I already know who pressed the dislike buttons on my comments...
That was real mature
I am loving it, please write more. Those dislikes are just people being bigots. I have never seen a story of rule 63 dark depressed Bubble Berry. Please write more :D
3635006 It can't be denied.
3636376
I guess so, I'm not really mad about the dislikes. I mean, people have different opinions right? I'm just mad cause they won't tell me why. Well, it was supposed to be a one-shot, but I think I can add something.
OMG this is SOOOOOOOO cool!
3642091
Thanks, I'm planning to do a Dusk Shine or Twilight story as well, just can't decide yet
3648260
You're gonna do a what fic about Dusk Shine / Twilight ? Please let it be Dusk Shine please..
3650138
All right Imma do it!!!
3650206
What's the storyline ?
3650220
I'm afraid you're going to have to wait till the stories published. We don't want any spoilers now, do we?
3650253
You're right..
I hope is gonna be rated 'Teen' otherwise I wouldn't know
3650265
uh? What do you mean you wouldn't know? Wouldn't know about what?
3650311
That the fic is publish..
3650379
Ohh~ Well, I'll try to do it this week
3650421 can you do a pinkie pie x elusive story
3653670
Well, I could, if I have time
3648260 omg plz let it be dusk shine!
3658808
Yep, actually it is. And I've already published it. The problem is it just failing moderation
Oh my golly gosh.. That was GREAT!!
I was hoping for some more though so I was a tiny bit disappointed..
Oh well!
3631228 Feeling like you're in the story is a good thing in this case... right?
4661256 x3 mhm