• Member Since 10th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 4th, 2014

Laeendreab


E
Source

Things don't really go exactly as planned for the mane 6. But can they make the most out of it?

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 21 )

not a bad start, could use a bit more desription when things happen, i missed the portal closing up again and missed it when dusk went bacl toback to get the gang.

Not bad for a first fic. Don't worry about the lack of description, I had a similar problem with my first fic, not going into the detail I should :derpytongue2:. All I can recommend that you do is, maybe read a few other fics. You now, look at how other people describe scenes and maybe look at pacing your story out a little. Other than that, I quite enjoyed reading it. :twilightsmile:

Thank you so much for reading and commenting :pinkiesmile:I'll try to do your advices. Again, thank you :twilightsmile:

NICE JOB PIZ MORE :twilightsheepish:

NICE MORE

Sure thing. I'm almost done with the next two chapter. I'm sure I'll be able to publish it by the end of the day. :pinkiesmile:

Anypony want to give me a plot idea for the sequel?

2951189 Maybe A Mane 6 visit to the R63 universe maybe some more personal scenes with every character?
Blitz courts pinkie. Meetings with the prince Solaris. Hilarity. Maybe a strange meeting with the other CMC. Good byes and see ya next time. A letter to Prince/Princess Solaris/Celestia, and maybe a epic plot twist of the Prince of the sun and the Princess of the sun actually being old friends. I'm sure this is enough for a rough thinking of the plot.
If I am able to provide the sequel plot for this fic I would like to edit if you don't already have and editor.

2979207

:applejackconfused:

My head hurts, but I get it. Sure why not. Let's give it a shot. And yes I don't have an editor.

I'll try to do another story for any other suggestions too. But it'll take a little more time. Dealing with school and stuff :twilightblush:

2979463 Great I'd love to edit any stories you need editing on just tell me on my profile and send me an email of the story pass maybe a hyperlink :twilightsmile:

It could use a bit more showing and less telling, to be honest.

Omigod holy shit sonofabitch, thought the renegade Time Lord, sitting before his typewriter.

2951189 :pinkiegasp: IF YOU WRITE A SEQUEL I''LL SCREAM!!!! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy: But, like, a happy scream.

Yea.

not bad for the first one 10/10 good job:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::twilightsheepish:

it was too easy someone should have kissed really :duck:

I loved the story overall but when you added the pinkieblitz thingy I didn't like that

Login or register to comment