Fluttershy loves animals and she's quite adept at taking care of even dangerous ones. But can she take care of one of the deadliest predators ever known?
The first day of the new school year at Canterlot high and although every new pony looks to make an impression , eight new Freshmen most likely will in a very big way.
Have you ever wondered what might happen if Pinkie did alchemy? Suppose Twilight was Zeus' daughter? What about if Dash was a cyborg with dragonborn heritage and an Omnitrix? How might they change the world gaining new powers every few days?
One of Princess Celestia's earliest foes had broken free from his prison, and is out to rain a little... Chaos and a little glass of water, please? A 'My Little Mages' retelling of 'The Return of Harmony'
not a bad start, could use a bit more desription when things happen, i missed the portal closing up again and missed it when dusk went bacl toback to get the gang.
Not bad for a first fic. Don't worry about the lack of description, I had a similar problem with my first fic, not going into the detail I should . All I can recommend that you do is, maybe read a few other fics. You now, look at how other people describe scenes and maybe look at pacing your story out a little. Other than that, I quite enjoyed reading it.
2951189 Maybe A Mane 6 visit to the R63 universe maybe some more personal scenes with every character? Blitz courts pinkie. Meetings with the prince Solaris. Hilarity. Maybe a strange meeting with the other CMC. Good byes and see ya next time. A letter to Prince/Princess Solaris/Celestia, and maybe a epic plot twist of the Prince of the sun and the Princess of the sun actually being old friends. I'm sure this is enough for a rough thinking of the plot. If I am able to provide the sequel plot for this fic I would like to edit if you don't already have and editor.
not a bad start, could use a bit more desription when things happen, i missed the portal closing up again and missed it when dusk went bacl toback to get the gang.
Not bad for a first fic. Don't worry about the lack of description, I had a similar problem with my first fic, not going into the detail I should . All I can recommend that you do is, maybe read a few other fics. You now, look at how other people describe scenes and maybe look at pacing your story out a little. Other than that, I quite enjoyed reading it.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting I'll try to do your advices. Again, thank you
NICE JOB PIZ MORE
NICE MORE
Sure thing. I'm almost done with the next two chapter. I'm sure I'll be able to publish it by the end of the day.
twilight.ponychan.net/chan/arch/src/130810446819.jpg
Moar
Anypony want to give me a plot idea for the sequel?
2951189 Maybe A Mane 6 visit to the R63 universe maybe some more personal scenes with every character?
Blitz courts pinkie. Meetings with the prince Solaris. Hilarity. Maybe a strange meeting with the other CMC. Good byes and see ya next time. A letter to Prince/Princess Solaris/Celestia, and maybe a epic plot twist of the Prince of the sun and the Princess of the sun actually being old friends. I'm sure this is enough for a rough thinking of the plot.
If I am able to provide the sequel plot for this fic I would like to edit if you don't already have and editor.
2979207
My head hurts, but I get it. Sure why not. Let's give it a shot. And yes I don't have an editor.
I'll try to do another story for any other suggestions too. But it'll take a little more time. Dealing with school and stuff
2979463 Great I'd love to edit any stories you need editing on just tell me on my profile and send me an email of the story pass maybe a hyperlink
Sure
It could use a bit more showing and less telling, to be honest.
Omigod holy shit sonofabitch, thought the renegade Time Lord, sitting before his typewriter.
2951189 IF YOU WRITE A SEQUEL I''LL SCREAM!!!! But, like, a happy scream.
Yea.
not bad for the first one 10/10 good job
very cool story
it was too easy someone should have kissed really
I loved the story overall but when you added the pinkieblitz thingy I didn't like that