Skin Deep

by Lenora Goff

The story

”I’m sure Spike will love this. I can finally tell him how I feel, but I have to get this just right.”

I know that I’ve been working on this for a while, I haven't slept in more than three days, but he is worth it. Spike has always been there for me, always willing to do much more than his share of the work. Not only that, but he has always cared for me. It isn’t just the work, but I can see something in his eyes that makes me feel like the most beautiful mare in the room. And he asks for nothing in return.

All he wants is for me to love him, I know it.

I’m looking down at this fabric, trying to figure out if there’s anything wrong with the design so far. I can’t find anything, but maybe I should give it another glance anyway. There’s no way that I can just do "good enough," I have to do my best. This has to be my best work, better than anything else that I’ve done. Then I have to ask him to dinner, and tell him everything that I know he deserves to hear.

Or maybe not.

Maybe I’ll make it more of a surprise. Oh, that would be magnificent as well. He comes in, thinking that we’re going to go get some gems. Maybe we do, and come back to some pony having fixed a magnificent dinner for the two of us. I could ask Fluttershy, or maybe Twilight. Probably Fluttershy. It’s all going to be so perfect. I’ll have this perfect tuxedo for him, and then we’ll have the most perfect meal that I can possibly have made for the two of us. Then I say those words, those three elusive words, and he says them to me.

It will be so romantic, it’ll be perfect.

All I need to do is add a few more things to this tuxedo, then I can take a nap. I wouldn’t want my special time with Spike, (our date I still can’t get past saying that), it’s going to be perfect. It has to be. That’s why I can’t go there tired, I have to be at my best as well. I don’t think it will be too much trouble making sure that I get up in time for me to plan everything with Fluttershy. I should probably tell Twilight about my plans, there is positively no need for her to worry about any of this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s warmer in here than I remember, but it feels kind of nice.

The smell of smoke, it’s never pleasant. Part of me knows that this isn’t anything to worry about, though, it must be Sweetie Belle making something to eat. Maybe she’s here for breakfast, or maybe she thought that it’d be a great idea to make dinner for me. She’s always been such a sweet little girl, I can’t think of anyone else who I’d rather want as a little sister. My thoughts are interrupted, and the worries come to mind, when I suddenly hear crackling.

No, no, no.

I quickly open my eyes to see the bright orange of the flame. That’s not how this day was supposed to go. This was going to be my perfect day, when I finally told Spike-wikey just what he means to me. This wasn’t supposed to be a day when my house burns down. This is definitely the worst possible - no time for that, I have to make sure that I get Opal out and make sure that my sister isn’t anywhere to be found in here. I can’t lose either of them, the possessions are … replaceable.

Over the next few minutes, I rush around the house. I hope that Opal will forgive me for throwing her out of the window. It isn’t as though we’re on the second floor when I see her, so I know the darling will be all right. Now all I have to make sure that Sweetie is outside of here, and that’s when I see the unconscious form of what looks to be my darling little sister. I can’t lose her, I just can’t. I have to snatch her up, get her out of here.

I start to move her, try to sit her on my back, and that’s when I hear some creaking. It doesn't take an engineer to know what the sound of a creaking ceiling means. Even I know the telltale sound of splintering wood. That’s the sound that tells me that it’s time to go from grabbing and running to making sure I get her out of here. The grab becomes a throw, right through a window. I certainly hope that she isn’t too mad at me for hurting her, but it’s the first thing that I thought of. I had to get her out, I’m sure she’ll understand.

That’s the last thought I have before everything goes to black. Well, that and the subtle hope that it isn’t too painful as pieces of the ceiling end up slamming against me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I think she’s finally waking up. Go get Doctor Kindheart.”

I know that voice, it’s Nurse Tenderheart. I would think that the afterlife wouldn’t have the nurse, and a doctor. Then again, I don’t know anything about the afterlife. Maybe it’s just everyday life, maybe it’s continuing what you were doing before. Oh, that would be terrific. I’m going to wake up in a hospital, likely working too hard, and then I’m going to go tell Spike how I feel. It’ll still be great, even if there’s no possible way that it can be perfect anymore. It won’t be real, either, but at least I’ll have him for all eternity.

“Ah, Rarity, how much I wish we weren’t seeing each other under such … circumstances.” I hear the kind voice of the doctor, opening my eyes to see that one of my eyes isn’t working. A hoof moves to feel gauze, which makes everything make sense. Well, no, it makes very little make sense. “To be honest, I wasn’t completely sure you’d make it. Not many ponies can live after a ceiling collapses in on them. You really need to thank Time Turner, if he hadn’t noticed the fire we might not be talking to you right now.”

Well, there goes that fantasy.

I still have a lot to look forward to, at least. I might have to spend some time in the hospital, but at least I’m alive. The real thing will be much better than my afterlife fantasy anyway. “What happened? I remember hearing the ceiling creak, I suppose it caved in on me. Your words have told me that.” There’s another question that I have to ask. “And just how bad is it? How long am I going to be trapped in here? I have to go talk to my friends, and I have a date later. Oh, it’s going to be marvelous.”

The look on his face doesn’t make me confident. “There were some heavy burns, some crack ribs. A few sections of your back have some trauma. Your horn was fractured.” I don’t know if I should stop him now, or if I should let him continue. “As well as … I don’t know how to explain it. I think it would probably be better if you saw it for yourself.” Oh, it can’t possibly be that bad. Maybe there are a few scars, maybe my cutie mark has been burnt off. Oh, a few scars will be easy to cover up.

Also, the lack of pain obviously means I’m on some sort of pain medicine.

“Oh, darling, it can’t possibly be that bad. Just remove his gauze, bring up a mirror, and then I’ll take a look for myself.” I put on my best smile. He just looked at me for a few moments, then he went to remove the gauze.

“Keep your eyes closed, though. I’ll be back with a mirror, I don’t want you freaking out too much without somepony here to comfort you.”

Once again, my confidence is being diminished.

I follow his instructions, though, and soon enough he comes back in with a mirror. “Are you completely sure you are ready? There’s no shame in taking a few more days in here, and maybe talking to a few friends. Or maybe I should go get one of them for you … maybe the blue pegasus. Rainbow Dash, I think her name is.” That’s a kind gesture, but I don't know if she’s the type that needs to be here right now anyway. Besides, it’s just me opening my eyes.

“I’m sure.” With that, I open both of my eyes and look at the mirror. I wish that I hadn’t. The lack of sight hadn’t been because of the gauze. My eye still isn't working, it seems like I only have a right eye now. If that’s the only problem, though, it wouldn’t be so bad. There are a ton of ponies that have an eye problem. I could even get a fake eye that covers up the problem. I would have to get used to having one eye, but that’s a small thing compared to what I see.

My face, it’s hideous. It isn't just the fact that I'm stuck with one eye, there're more to it. Along my muzzle, the entirety of it. No fur, that's not so bad. The fact that it looks like one giant patch of pink scar with holes, that's something that I don't know how to respond to. One of my cheeks, my right cheek, is slightly swollen. That's not so bad, but it's also a far more scarred than I would have thought was actually possible.

My mane, my beautiful mane. It isn't all gone, and I'm not sure if that doesn't make it slightly worse. It's half there, my head looks partially as if somepony has taken a scalpel to it. I'm not used to seeing the top of my head, especially not like this. A lack of a mane might have been better than what I'm seeing, it's definitely the same horrendous pink that I see on my cheek and muzzle. I think I can see why the eye was removed, the scar extends from my head all the way down my face.

I stand up a little in the bed, turning. I'm curious at this point, even if I know I shouldn't be. My back is even worse than I expected. I see patches of fur, but it's mostly gone. It looks as though there are more areas of scar than those without. Definitely have to thank the pain medicine, then. I don't know if I want to see anymore, but my eye eventually moves to see that not even my left shoulder is unharmed. I try to move my left arm, just to feel the scarred skin fight back against my movement.

Being alive is good, but maybe it isn't the gift that I might have initially thought that it might be. I’m quite the scarred mare. All I’ve ever had is my beauty, and now it’s gone. The more I look into the mirror, and see what I look like, I feel something I haven't felt for a long time. I've done so many great things for everypony. It isn't very often that I really ask for anything in return. Yet here I am, sitting in a hospital, my face looking more like a Nightmare Night mask than what my face should actually look like. I don't even know when I started screaming, when I started thrashing around. It isn’t like me to do that, it’s so unladylike, but I just can’t stop.

This has to be fake, this just has to.

A few second later, I feel a sensation in my head and I drift off to unconsciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We’re going to need you to help us take care of Rarity.” I know that voice, once again it’s the voice of the nurse. She’s always been so nice to me. I really should apologize for being so rude. I think I might have broken that mirror. Even if I’m hideous, even if I’m not likely to be able to show my face in public again, I cannot act like that. I am a lady, and that means that I have to hold myself to certain standards.

“Of course we’re gonna be there fer her.” The sound of Applejack’s voice never sounded so amazing. It’s something that I had made fun of, once upon a time. “If’n you hadn’t kicked us out, we would’a been here the entire time.” That sounds just like them, just like my friends. A tear falls from my remaining eye as I open them both and look at the group.

“Oh hey, she’s awake.” Rainbow Dash is always there for me. I have to wonder how she took being kicked out.

“I hope you’re all right, Rarity.” Fluttershy is always the first to ask those types of things. “I just couldn’t sleep at all these past nights, knowing that you’re here like this.” I would give her a hug, but I don’t really think I can move that much. I’m awake, but I don’t feel like I’m all that awake.

“I’m perfectly all right darling. Though I doubt that we’ll be doing our weekly spa trips anymore, unfortunately.”

“Take your time, Rarity. I couldn’t possibly rush you back into those.” She’s so sweet, she doesn’t understand what I’m saying. “Those are just to help us relax anyway. If you’re not relaxed while you’re there, then they’ll just have to be put off until later.”

“I doubt we will actually ever go again, darling.” Fluttershy looks at me confused, so I elaborate. “I doubt I’m going to be going outside much … looking like this.” I try to smile, but it doesn’t come. This is something that I’m just going to have to deal with. I don’t look like I did before, and I’m not going to act like that doesn’t change everything. To be more precise, I don’t think that I look -

Why is an angry looking Pinkie Pie in my face?

“Don’t you talk like that.” I notice that the others are trying to pull her back. After a few moments, they succeed. “You’re still beautiful, Rarity. It’d take something a lot stronger than that to make that change.” It’s around that time that they let her go. I look to see that it actually had taken all of them to pull back one angry Pinkie, even Applejack. Yet they let her go. All she’s doing is just standing there and she's crying.

“Pinkie… I ….” I’m ugly and I know it.

In the end, I’m being hugged by all five of my friends. Oh, this is the most wonderful thing I could have possibly asked for. I don't know what it is about them hugging me, but there’s a new thought that comes into my head. Maybe it won’t be so bad. I know that people will look at me different, but I can still try to look my best. I can still be the same Rarity that they all know, the one they all care for, the one that loves them all dearly.

And maybe, just maybe, I can be the one that still loves Spike.

“I was hoping that you might bring my Spikey-wikey here. There’s something that I do have to say to him.” There’s something about being with my friends that’s making me optimistic. This might not be the perfect date, I might not have the perfect tuxedo, but this is something that will just have to do. If anyone can make me happy right now, it’s Spike. He’ll be there for me, I just know it.

He’ll love me like I love him.

“Sure thing, Rarity. He actually slept in the waiting room, I’ll go get him.” I wonder if that means the library has been closed. Oh well, it’ll open again after today. Right now, though, I have a certain dragon that I have to confess my feelings to.

It takes a couple of minutes, but the poor dear was likely asleep.

It only takes a moment, right when he comes in, for everything to shatter. I notice that he tries to take the look off his face, replace it with a smile, but some things are impossible to not see. Some expressions hold more power than others, and this one expression made me feel like the ugliest mare in the entire world.

“I … I think I should go open the library, Twi.” I know excuses, I’ve made plenty. Then everything becomes blurry again, this time because of the sting of those word. I’m hideous, the ugliest mare in the world, and nopony can tell me otherwise now.

Comments

[Lenora Goff]

3488208

Sad stories aren't for everyone, and this one is one that I thought would make a few people angry. But I had the idea and so I went with it.

[Lenora Goff]

3488338

At least that means you don't think it's bad enough to down vote. :rarity wink:

Also, sad feelings were most certainly the intention, so it's good to know I succeeded there. If you want a happier story, some parts of my other stories are happier. Haven't done a Sparity story, though.

[DARKPHANTOM13]

3488377 As much as I don't like Sparity I can't help but feel sad for her. Hopefully Spike will get over his shock and go back to her.

[Lenora Goff]

3488901

I'm afraid it's complete. There's no more, it has ceased to be.

[Snivypony]

Everyone who wants an alternate ending to this please respond to this comment.

[D48]

That was very good, but ouch.

The only thing that makes sense to me based on his reaction is that Spike had not seen what happened to Rarity before this because he seems more shocked and confused than anything else, and I cannot see him being so shallow as to reject her for this. Yes he was initially captivated by her looks, but I for one feel like his attachment has gone deeper than that since then because Rarity is a wonderful pony even if she is more than a little bit high maintenance (although then again, I doubt it is much worse than Twilight and her books). It seems to me like he retreated to the safe familiarity of the library to think about what happened and his feelings, but I fully expect him to come back once he has had time to digest what happened.

[Lenora Goff]

3490038

I guess the best part about an open ended ... err ... ending is that it leaves room for wondering and head canon.

[D48]

3490047 That it does.

[Pyro The Reader]

Woah Spike, dude. Not cool.

[Blood Brandy]

3489249

It wouldn't be hated, but this is marked "Sad" remember. Not every story has a happy ending. Some could argue that Spikes affections are deeper than this, but it can also be argued that it was simply just that, attraction, not love.

images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111113155839/mlp/images/thumb/0/0e/Twilight_Sparkle_Rarity_hairstyle_S2E06.png/640px-Twilight_Sparkle_Rarity_hairstyle_S2E06.png
Case in point.

Spike is young, and young folk tend to throw words like "Love" around like they know what it really means, even when they don't, and in situations like this, throwing something like that around can break some valuable things

[Lenora Goff]

3493333

Thank you. You explain it much better than I could.

[Blood Brandy]

3493450

No Problem

[Ignaltus]

You destroyed my dreams!

[Lenora Goff]

4139227

Then my day is complete.

[Hillbe]

Spikey is not a shallow fellow , Forced ending

[Lenora Goff]

5152290
Spike isn't shallow? Explain then why he got all love-eyed over Twilight when her hair got changed to look like Rarity's?

[Hillbe]

5152893 He likes her mane?, Why just pick one episode? Green isn't her inspiration for excess with the dog & pony show manifestation secret color .

There's another story where Rarity gets hammered & Spike stays by her side till her vanity raises it's ugly head. more feels 'The price of generosity" does it true to Spikey

[Lenora Goff]

5153655

Inspiration Manifestation is a good case of him being a bad friend, actually, and being afraid of her not wanting to be around him if he told on her. He has a crush on Rarity and wants to be around her. Dog and Pony Show just shows him wanting to be her "knight in shining armor", which can be interpreted as containing his crush OR true love. The reason why I think that it is continuing the crush is because he shows a little more than an infatuation with her most of the time.

Remember, his focus generally seems to be how beautiful she is.

But this mostly delves into headcanon territory, and I should respect yours as much as I'd want you to respect mine. As such, we have both explained our points of view. If you would like to continue the discussion, we can. I just felt I should tell you that I'm not posting this in a "I'm right and you're wrong" sort of way. We both see Spike/Rarity in different lights, and that's okay.

[Hillbe]

5154919 Read your Rainbow dashs spike, Damn good ! Now I got to read the rest of your works !

Was that Dashie being a sneak or oops it just happened ?

[Lenora Goff]

5155644
That is a secret.