• Member Since 28th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 22nd, 2021


Writing is not literacy, but creativity.


It has been a year since Rainbow had to deal with a creature dark like shadows with maroon colored claws. She thought it had disappeared from the world, but now she knows, the past can never change, and you can't hide forever. She had served the beast, being forced to murder ponies and feed it to the large beast, but soon the creature becomes worst.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 6 )

WAYYYY too fast at the end and the plot-twist was too Wong. All in all though it was interesting.

3427243 Yeah, I was trying to keep it short only because this is just meant to be a short story and if I write more, I will make it larger. I also might make a sequel when I finish another story, but I wanted to something with a little touch of Halloween to it.

okay this is a bit jacked up. not really entertaining either

3427355 It was a somewhat decent read. But for my advice I wouldn't make a small story if the climax and resolution and so close together. But please remember this is constructive criticism. Have a nice day/night :twilightsmile:

Awkward. that's all I can say about this fic so far... The prologue seems pointless as it doesn't really make the story look promising; rather, quite the opposite. your dialogue could use alot of work as it's awkward and unconvincing. and work on your punctuation! and grammar! I can still tell what you're trying to say, but it's in no way graceful.

You commited 0 of the 7 mortal sins of writing fanfiction so far. :pinkiehappy:

My overall oppinion: :fluttershysad:

It was good buuuut erm didn't really enjoy the ending. It was good just a little over excessive, plus a little too rushed. I give it a 5/10. Probably would have loved it if the story plot was more in depth. A longer story showing Twilight getting slightly more and more insane and a little bit Twilight POV. I enjoyed reading it though. =3

Login or register to comment