Story of the Shadowmane

by Navras97

Sonic Moonboom

*1 week later* Ahhh, nothing but a nice, long cloud nap after a long day of cloud management, I do feel a bit hungry though. Thanks to me, Ponyville will yet again have a nice sunny day. I rest on the group of clouds I gathered up. I’m ready to drift into sleep when I hear a huge boom. What the… it sounded like a thunder clap! Impossible, I’m relaxing on all of today’s clouds, I should be able to see all the clouds floating at this height, how could there be thunderclap- BOOM! It sounded like it came from my left, wait I think I see it. In the distance I can see a cloud, about 5 meters long. It’s a black cloud, which makes me even more curious. I zoom over to see the cloud and start scolding it for being there

“Now what is a teeny black cloud like you doing here? The Pegasus forecast called for partly cloudy, not a thunderstorm, now come on; herd up with the rest of your buddies.” I turn around and hear a loud boom from the cloud, except this boom was continuous. The thunder below it wasn’t just striking, it was continually being sent down. Ponies all over Ponyville were covering their ears and galloping into their homes. “Cut that out!” I yell at it, giving it a quick wallop. It moved an inch, but quickly sprung back to its original spot. “Persistent aren’t we?” I start to push on the cloud until I heard a voice from below

“Who’s there?” The voice sounded very smooth and masculine, like this pony is some experienced singer. I perch on the stubborn cloud to see who that was. Shadowmane emerged from under a dining bench’s shade without his cloak and with a parasol. “Oh Rainbow Dash, hey there!” he shouts up to me.

“Hey Shadowmane...” I wave down to the black stallion. “Do you have any idea why this black cloud is here, and why it’s not budging?” I ask him, irritated.

“Well that cloud is there because it’s mine.” He casually responds. I raise my eyebrow, looking at the cloud I’m laying on. It’s not as soft as other clouds and reeks of smoke.

“What… is a giant manor not enough for you?” I ask him with a confused look on my face.

“Oh no, I’m not making a cloud house,” he responds shaking his head, “I’m collecting some records on the sun in Equestria as well as the atmosphere and oxygen level. Look closely at the cloud and you should see a black panel on it.” I sift through the cloud and spot a small solar panel on it attached to some other contraptions.

“So why was the cloud making thunder?” I ask him, he could see the curiosity in my face when he sheepishly grins.

“Oh it did that because I made it do that to expel some energy that it was building up. If I didn’t make it do that my instrument would overload with energy and implode.” Implode? Whatever that means it sounds bad. Whatever the case he can’t have his cloud here, it ruins ponies’ days when they see inconsistency in their clear skies. I noticed he said he made the cloud thunder… but how did he do that from down there? I ask him this question, he stated since he’s an alicorn, he knows some spells relating to moving clouds from a distance.

“That’s cool and all Shadowmane but you need to move your cloud right now.” I request, looking around at the homes filled with frightened ponies.

”Sure, just give me one more minute.” He shouts, peering back into his contraption. After what was a minute but felt like an hour the black cloud began to dissipate. Soon it was all gone until the probe fell back to earth. Shadowmane quickly grabbed the probe right before it touched the ground and brought it into the shade. He looks at it for a while. “Sorry that took so long”, he yelled up to me. Shadowmane comes out of the shade and flies up to me with his wide parasol in his hand. The parasol just doesn't fit Shadowmane’s deadly appearance, he reminds me of Rarity. He extends his hoof to shake, “I hope you don’t get docked off your pay for my meddling.” I look at his hoof for a second, and slowly shake it. His hoof is harder than rock and is freezing like ice. He puckers his lips and makes a high-pitched whistle. All the ponies look out of their porches and windows to see us flying in the sky. He makes a magic megaphone and announces that the cloud disruption was just an experiment approved by the Ponyville Royal Guard Squad. Royal Guard Squad… so Shadowmane is a soldier? I raise an eyebrow, huh… I thought, this guy must be pretty tough to be in the Royal Guard.

“How are you part of the Royal Guard?” I asked Shadowmane, “Did you enlist recently?” As ponies walk back out of their homes, looking in the sky first, and then resuming their activities, Shadowmane and I fly over to the clump clouds I gathered today. Shadowmane sits his flank on the cloud, temporarily mesmerized by its softness. He returns his red eyes to me,

“Oh yea, I enlisted just yesterday, I’m already Staff Sergeant and head of the squad stationed here in Ponyville.” My eyes widen, how did he raise up the ranks so quickly? The royal guards are tough nuts to crack and are probably as fast as I am. The only way he could have ranked so quickly is if he won a fight… with a high-ranking officer. I remember this is something I learned in the Wonder-bolt academy.

“Did you fight the captain for the place?” I ask the black stallion. He puts a hoof on his chin

“Yes… and no…” Yes and no… just… what? “I didn’t challenge him; he and another lower ranking officer saw me with the mayor and attacked me, assuming from my appearance that I was trying to harm her. I didn’t throw a punch, just scared them into submission. They tried to double team me but I was too fast.” He won against two guards by doing nothing but dodging?? I am so curious right now!

“So, how fast would you say you really are??” I demand to know, leaning towards into his personal space. He blushes a bit, and gently pushes my head away.

“Not to boast but I would say I’m pretty darn fast. When I was a little colt, I was faster than all of the Wonder-bolts in my time, oh yea Wonder-bolts were around for a long time.” He states before taking a piece of cloud and chewing on it, smoking out the water vapor. I feel the overwhelming need to challenge him. If I beat him, I’ll be faster than the wonderbolts during his time. Maybe I’ll even be faster than all the wonderbolts now! Not only will I’ll be the fastest flier in Equestria, I’ll probably be the fastest flier that has ever existed!!!! I beam with excitement, Shadowmane looks confused,

“Oh my Gosh, Oh my Gosh Oh my Gosh Oh my Gosh Oh my Gosh can I race you pretty please say YES pleaaaaaaaase!” Shadowmane puts his hoof on his chin and stares at me. I give him my best Fluttershy puppy eyes impression and he stares into them.

“Sure…” he responds.

“Yeeeeeees!” I leap into the sky and start making random tricks out of excitement.

“But can we race during nighttime; I’m at my best when I’m under the moon. The moon gives me… inspiration”. I stop dancing and try to be more contained,

“Um sure if it’ll help you.” I reply, more relaxed. I can hardly keep my excitement in though; I’m going to fly with the faster flier of ancient Equestria! I zoom back to my house, preparing to get ready. He told me to meet him at the summit of the tallest mountain near Ponyville at 8:00pm. I wave Shadowmane later and he decides to relax on the cloud more with his parasol stuck in it. I wonder why he wants it during nighttime though… maybe he’s more of a nocturnal person.

*10 hours later* Okay, I fully stretched, I restudied my flying techniques, I drank a major energy drink, and I am ready to get it on! Shadowmane is already at the summit, surprisingly calm. “I knew you wouldn’t back out on this. You’re too prideful to let an opportunity like this down.” He says, drinking from a tin flask.

“Oh please," I respond, "I would never miss this for the world! Let’s see if you really are as fast as you say!” Shadowmane nods, and extends his hoof again. “You really know when to treat things more seriously dude” I tell him. He brings his hoof back and charges his horn.

Suddenly a white smoke cloud appears, and another Shadowmane rises from it, except without wings. I was about freak out before he told me that he can make clones and have 2 clones perched at every spot in Equestria to provide potions designed to instantly recuperate stamina, he said he’ll explain later. So apparently it’s a race across the whole planet… finally someone who gets my style!

“You ready to go?” He asks a competitive grin on his face.

“I’m raring to go buddy, hope you’re ready to face the faster flier in Equestria!” I raise my flanks in the air, ready for a push start.

“Faster flier in Equestria… that remains to be seen Rainbow Dash… prove to me that you are worthy of that title!” He fans out his bat wings and gets in position. The clone charges his horn for the starting boom.

“On your mark… get set… SOAR!” I hear the pop, and my whole world zooms into adrenaline. I’ve got to pace myself I thought, that way I’ll stay constant for the whole race. I’m only going half my speed, but Shadowmane is zipping past me. But he slows down to tell me something over the booming air resistance,

“My clones laid down a trail of light for you and I to follow so we don’t get lost so don’t worry about getting lost in the dark.” As he shouted it, a long line of white light appears in front of me and turns blue when I zip past it. Shadowmane gets slightly ahead, revealing the light turns red when he flies through it, and it fades completely after we both have crossed it.

“If that’s the case, prepare to see nothing but blue when you bite my loose feathers!” I yell to the bat pony, zipping far ahead of him. This isn’t good I thought. My competitive attitude totally screwed up my whole game plan. Well it’s too late now to change it. The race is still young and so am I! I kick it into high gear, Shadowmane catches up 3 seconds later, keeping a steady but fast speed. We both steady our pace and look at each other’s determined faces; I can taste the fierce look in his eyes. We look ahead of each other, our mach cones are narrowing… now this is a race! That’s when I did it, that’s when Shadowmane did it. We break the barrier, leaving all sound behind us. Everything is silent, everything but my screaming chest. I get that feeling of excitement again. My blood races, my senses overload, and my whole being envelops with the wind smashing into my face. I look back at Shadowmane, who is completely relaxed compared to my beaming face.

The race goes on for I think 20 minutes, watching entire towns appear ahead of me and then behind me in the blink of an eye. I’m about ready to decelerate but I can still see Shadowmane keeping his speed constant, he doesn't look in the least bit tired while I’m busting my flank to just keep up with him, let alone get ahead of him. Seeing this amazing feat of wings, keeping Mach 1 speed for 20 minutes and not break a sweat? Well… what did I expect? That he would go down so easily? As we zoom over the Marelantic Ocean I see our light pathway going down. Not wanting to be a cheater I descend down the light trail to the raging ocean. Suddenly I feel a ringing sensation in my head and Shadowmane’s voice rings in my head.

“The 1st breakpoint of 2 is ahead of us, grab the potion my clone gives us and goodness sake, please drink it.” Shadowmane looks at me, not in any way fatigued while I’m flying on bingo fuel right now. I should do what he says and grab the potion. As we soar along the surface of the ocean, tearing the sea behind us into two, I see a white unicorn on a raft, waving a neon green flare at us. Next to him is a table with 2 green potion bottles on it. He gestures his hands at the potion, telling us to grab and drink it. Shadowmane and I snatch the bottles, leaving the clone and his raft to face the wrath of our turbulence and heavy ripples in the sea. I look at the bottle; it’s a dark green with a white cap. I undo the cap and chug it with all my might. It tastes just like… nothing! The potion that supposedly brings me back to full strength is just water! As much as I appreciate the rehydration, it’s not going to help catch up with- whoa, what the hay?!

I feel my tense muscles involuntarily relaxing; my steaming face feels like winter! I can feel my heart calming down, my whole body feels brand new and my breathing calms down. I was wrong I suppose, he really does want this race to be fair. I drop the empty bottle into the ocean; shattering in midair from all the pressure I’m experiencing and clustering into the rippling sea. I dramatically pick up the pace, catching up with Shadowmane who got a half mile ahead of me. He’s not holding a potion, which must mean he’s already finished it.

“Looks like you caught up Rainbow Dash,” he telepathically said, “If we keep our pace at Mach 1, we should be able to reach the finish line in 30 minutes… if Mach 1 speed is all that you can take.” He looks at me with a sly smirk on his face.

“W-what are looking at me so funny? “ I think through my head to him; raising an eyebrow in the intense pressure my face is feeling.

“Let’s just see how fast you really are, fastest flier in Equestria!” On the instant Shadowmane quickly accelerated, becoming faster by almost double! He’s hitting Mach 2… I CAN SO CATCH UP WITH THAT! The passionate feeling I get to beat him burns in my gut, making break the sound barrier twice. I catch up with him again, only for him to accelerate even MORE!

He’s gone to Mach 3, now 4…
5…
6…
sweet Celestia!

With every step up he makes, I manage to make the same step right behind him. We’re both at Mach 9 now; I can’t even see the world around me properly anymore. It feels like my teeth are about to fall out of their sockets so I can choke to death on them. Shadowmane is actually breaking a sweat now, his face scrunched up and beads of sweat launching off his cheeks like bullets. We’re only inches away next to each other; this is the part where I pull out my ultimate move. With a mute scream for power, I hit my top speed of Mach 10, unleashing my signature Sonic Rainboom!

Only this time, it’s a bit different… it’s not a rainbow. As I manage to turn my head around, I see a gigantic white light. As it fades, it becomes duller shades of white light. Grey light to black light under a white light border. The black light is INTENSE, the stars above us shimmer beautifully under this new spectrum I just broke. I quickly turn back to focus, and look at the light trail in front of me. White… which could only mean… impossible… I look to my left, my cheeks fluttering through the wind to see Shadowmane...

STILL ON ME! How is this possible?? Nobody is just as fast as my Sonic Rainboom! After we pass the Indian ocean, my limbs start to freeze. Never in my life have I ever pushed myself this hard. My face is numb, my limbs feel like they’re dead, and my wings are flapping on their own. I can feel my consciousness beginning… to… slip… the last thing I saw was Shadowmane, breaking Mach 10, leaving a trail of red light for me… I felt something freezing tear me apart; soon it was quickly embracing me… the cold fills my lungs and soon my whole body...

COUGH COUGH HACK! What in Celestia’s name?! I wake up; my entire body is numb and shivering faster than Pinkie Pie from last month’s coffee rush. I’m completely drenched down to the inside of my ears, did I… pass out? I can taste salt water on my tongue and down my throat. Suddenly I feel luxurious warmth, and see the light of a fire near me. I turn to my left to see Shadowmane, sitting at my side, with a candle of toasty fire suspended in air with his horn. On my right I see Shadowmane's unicorn clones looking down on me before they turned into magic vapor.

“You’re awake, thank goodness” says Shadowmane, bringing the fire to a fireplace next that was next to me. I struggle to regain my breath and speaking ability through the cold. The fireplace calmly erupts in flames, my first indistinct is to embrace its warmth. “If I hadn’t felt your life force not next to me when you crashed, you would’ve drowned or freeze to death” he continues, with a hospitable warm smile. I can’t seem to formulate any words right now because my vocal cords feel shot out from the air pressure invading my lungs during the flight. The black alicorn does some weird materialization trick of his to spawn a brown blanket and towel. Without asking permission, he magically rubs the towel all over my soaking body. He drapes the blanket over my shoulders; the towel mysteriously disappears with a flick of light. “This was my fault” Shadowmane confessed with his head down, “I know Pegasus ponies aren’t supposed to make races like these, across the whole planet, especially during the night, but I took your competitive spirit in as a sign of welcoming. I completely disregarded your own personal safety, and I’m so sorry.” As he said it, he scooped some water out of the sea and mixed some magic into it. He spawned a glass cup and poured the water into the cup. He levitated it in front of me, and I automatically accept it. I pour the hot and purified water into my mouth, getting rid of the salty taste that was cursing me. My insides feel toasty again; finally I can feel I can speak again.

“Thank you… Shadowmane…” I look at him, my eyes halfway open. “Why did you save me though? You could’ve won the race right there.” Shadowmane’s red eyes widen is disbelief, his mouth opens to retort,

“Rainbow Dash, where would you get such an incessant idea like that?” He strains a bit to spawn a cup of some green liquid. He pours it into my empty cup, I think its tea. “I will rather die than win unjustly; I will not leave my friends to fend for death.” I sip some tea, relaxing my throbbing muscles. “Better to lose with dignity than win with dishonor.” My body seems to be relaxing too much, I plop down and begin to drift into sleep. Shadowmane gets up and trots over to me wrap me in the blanket before I fall into a deep sleep…

I wake up again, except this time not in choking cold but in soothing warmth. I look down to see I’m in a bed, softer than clouds on a sunny day. The covers are made of red silk and the bed is compressing down like memory foam. My wings are extremely sore… how did I get here, from some unknown beach? Suddenly Shadowmane trots in through a door in my unknown room and goes to me while levitating a thermometer in front of me.

“Shadowmane… what’s going on?” I tell him, rising out of bed. I try to get up but Shadowmane puts his cold hoof on my chest, gently pushing me back down.

“Don’t get up too soon Rainbow,” he says taking his hoof off of my chest, “you need your rest, you’re lucky nothing is broken in your body.” I sit there and recuperate while he puts the thermometer in my mouth. He waits for a short moment and takes it out of my mouth observing the mercury meter, “36.6 Celsius… you’re okay.” He charges his horn, creating a ball of swirling golden light. He gestures at my wings, telling me to spread them out. I comply and he puts his horn on my right wing, I close my eyes to feel his tall horn on my wings. Suddenly my wings… I can’t describe how but they feel so much better, the terrible soreness is gone! I immediately jump out of bed, completely renewed; I do tricks and flips in the air out of sudden rejuvenation. “I see I’ve gotten good results from my friend’s recovery.” Shadowmane stated, gently smiling. I land in front of him,

“Thanks a bunch Shadowmane, if it wasn’t for you, I’d be dead right now!” He courteously nods...

“I had to save you, and after all I got you into that mess.” He gives me a bottle of aspirin just in case. “I think it’s only fair that we postpone our little race until I’m at my peak.” I look at him with a confused gaze,

“What do you mean when you’re at your peak?” I ask him, slightly furious, “I saw you break into Mach 11! That’s faster than my Sonic Rainboom!” I get into his personal space, staring deep into his eyes before he gently pushes me away and continuing,

“I can go to Mach 15 at maximum, but it’s not what I strive to be happy and stay with. I can tell you have similar goals as well.” He fans out his wings, and folds them again. He's already faster than me, and yet he still wants to progress even further? That’ll really make me look like a little filly if I don’t do anything to improve my Sonic Rainboom. I hold my hoof out, and spit on it. Shadowmane lifts an eyebrow and asks what I am doing.

“I only do this with Applejack but now with you, promise me you’ll race with me when you’re at your peak, and I’m at mine.” Shadowmane looks at my hoof covered in saliva and chuckles. He spits on his hoof and we shake,

“I promise,” he says standing with his neck straight, “this time we’ll do our races over land and in circles if that’s okay with you.” I nod and give him a smirk.

“I’ll be soaring off then Shadowmane," I tell him, rising into the air, "better keep that promise or else I’ll kick your flank!” He lightly chuckles as I zoom through his opaque stain-glassed window, and then breaks out in laughter as I crash into the brick wall behind the opaque stain-glassed window. Shadowmane regains his composure and gets back up,

“Try the front door” he suggested

“It will open up for you.”

Comments

[FicusCat]

Black and Red Alicorn OC Gary Stu story.

With every single flaws and clichés possible for these kind of stories inside this one.

Lot of clunky change of POV, really fast paced with a lots of time elipse, no realistical situations and characters interractions, the various characters feels bland and only exist to withstand the OC awesomeness.

I'm tempted to scream " Obvious Troll story ", because you just joined this site and posted right away a story about a black and red alicorn OC.

I advise you to take your time and read some of the stories on this site before trying to write your own, because this one has been done a thousand of times, and half of them where troll stories.

[Ryou]

This basically sums it up.

Therefore this receives the official heresy stamp.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-lNVAGrPs7uU/TcfLSheAMcI/AAAAAAAALgk/oeV37byMGjI/s1600/HeresyStamp.png

[Wolfinsheepsclothing]

hmm I don't really like the changing of perspectives each chapter as that makes it a bit tough to read but apart from that looking forward to more

[azednew]

What the actual fuck is that cover art?

[Navras97]

3327775 You're kinda right, this is my very first story ever so I don't expect it to be spectacular, in fact I didn't expect a lot of positive feedback. I tried doing something new aside from the typical third person but that's clearly giving people a hard time. So I'll try to stick to third person from now on, even though that kinda ruins my intended flow of the story. But hey, it's the readers that I care for, so I'll try my best, thanks.

[Thaums]

fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/136650.jpg?1381122968

you can not just put a poker face on something like that

[Axan Zenith]

3329385

Yeah, stories with red and black alicorn type OC's are usually received pretty badly. Not the best choice for your first story.

But you know what man? The comment you just made shows that you're real level headed when it comes to taking criticism. Fic writing will be rough at first, but just looking at your attitude, I'm sure you'll make it.

Keep on keepin' on, my friend.