• Member Since 14th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Apr 3rd, 2016


Hi there, I can sort of write a little. And you're going to LOVE ME!!


Twilight gets her first student, a little unicorn filly with strange magical abilities. There is a problem though, her powers are stronger with hate and anger. Twilight grows to love her student, who is named Fira Adara, and trains her as well as she can to control her powers and use them for good. But will little Fira be able to control them? And what caused her strange magical abilities?

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 39 )
Comment posted by inacti deleted Aug 23rd, 2013
Comment posted by dream1990 deleted Aug 23rd, 2013
Comment posted by inacti deleted Aug 23rd, 2013
Comment posted by dream1990 deleted Aug 23rd, 2013

Who loves Fira's design? :raritystarry:

Comment posted by Archivist Nightwatch deleted Aug 24th, 2013
Comment posted by inacti deleted Aug 24th, 2013
Comment posted by Archivist Nightwatch deleted Aug 24th, 2013
Comment posted by inacti deleted Aug 24th, 2013

Did do rename this story? Cuz there's another story involving Fira called Missing Link.

Again this is all sounding familiar

3098723 Yes, its renamed and edited

3098786 oh good I thought I was losing it for a sec. That or someone was trying to rip u off lol.

This is already sounding interesting.

Twilight must never have met DT and SS or she's just an idiot.


Write more.



3112811 I don't think she's met them, or if she has she doesn't know how they behave

Most bronies i meet say if they'd go to equestria they'd buck apples with Appkejack, they'd flirt with Luna ( Somehow), they'd learn magic with twilight, care for animals with Fluttershy, etc, etc, etc.
I'd go Cupcakes on Diamond Tiara.

don't delete comments, people think you cant handle criticism if you do that, even if it isn't true at all

3116367 I agree, I tend to have a bad habit of cleaning up comment sections when they get off topic or when I make mistakes. :twilightblush: I shall try my best not the delete them. Thanks for the heads up, I didnt realise people took it that way.

This is a great story, but the chapters are a bit short, and go by fast. You should work on the pacing, add a few more details, and split the paragraphs more evenly. Just giving you some supportive critisism.

This was a great chapter, it was a good development in the story, and gave possible insight to what problems could arise in future chapters. I found it to be very interesting and gripping. However, there are a few things I would like to point out.

First : While Twilight's conversation with Celestia was a important scene (at least in my opinion), it was way to short. Twilight has traveled all the way to Canterlot, and has a 30 second conversation before running as fast as she can straight back.

Second: There was zero reaction to the fact that some pony had purposely altered Fira's wings, rendering her unable to fly. I thought this kind of thing would raise more red flags. What happened? What specifically is the cause to them being useless? Should we be worried?

I realize that these may not be huge concerns for you, and I apologize if I have offended. I honestly do not intend to be mean or rude. I love your story, and the direction your taking it, I just wanted to point out a couple of things I thought could be improved.

P.S. -I have some suggestions on hot to fix these, but I won't post them unless you want me to.
P.S.S -Love the cover art

3152120 I actually was planning on adding the wing issue in a bit later, but I completely agree with you about Celestia's scene, I was unhappy with it and I am trying to think of ways to make it more detailed. I am fine with you posting any advice you might have regarding these so it will be easier to work through when I come back to it. Also, thanks, I was happy with how the picture turned out.

Happy to help, I did the same on one of my stories, didn't go over well

3152287 Your welcome, I wish I was as good an artist as you.

And as for the Celestia scene, I was thinking that instead of writing the whole conversation start to finish, you could start off the scene in the middle. The questions Twilight asks Celestia could pass as last minute things she wasn't sure about, and the whole thing could be viewed as wrapping it up.

My other idea, was you could stick a time taker in there. A lot of story's I'v read have Celestia conversing with some pony over a cup of tea. With something like that, you can add little parts like, "Twilight started into her cup as Celestia's words sunk in." or "Celestia quietly sipped her tea and she pondered Twilight's question." I'm not saying that you need to use tea, that was just my example. This method can be done using almost anything. If the characters are having their conversation, and you add little things they do during pauses, it can make the conversation seem longer, more in depth, and catch more interest.

As for the wings, its great that your going to tell more about them later. I only really had one Idea for them. Twilight making a mental note to ask more about them later when its mentioned.

Those were my Ideas, and sorry for the long comments. My skills at summarizing could be questioned. :twilightsheepish:

101Rebeccat i got a question is Twilight going to adopt Fira Adara as her daughter in this story or has she already did that and i like this chapter

3407849. She has not technically adopted her yet, but she will soon, once she's set a really strong bond with her, there is something that will happen soon that will change twilights entire interest in the filly from one of a scientist to one of a mother.

This chapter is too short for my liking. It took me two minutes to read it. But then again, I am a relatively fast reader and very much enjoy this series. Keep writing!

can't wait to see what happens next

101Rebeccat i got a question when will the next chapter for this story come out

I have no idea why it took me this long to read the chapter. :twilightblush:
This was very well written. Though it was still short, I think its been the most well written chapter yet.
Also, that part with spike was hilarious. :rainbowlaugh:

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