• Member Since 31st Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen May 12th

APoeticHeart


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I want to thank http://www.fimfiction.net/user/ShutterGuy] for the awesome picture he has done for this story. He captured Toby perfectly, so I give all credit to him and also he is a good writer, check out his story "Human and Pony alike", it is good.

Toby Mason is a six year old human child who wishes for someone to love him. One year earlier, Toby lost his mother Ashley Mason who died in a terrible car crash coming to pick him up from school one day. After Ashley's death, Toby was hard to console, but his father James Mason took the loss the hardest.

Feeling as his life ending along with Ashley's, James began drinking heavily, and in turn started becoming abusive toward Toby. Mostly verbally abusive, he would call Toby weak, pathetic, and blamed Ashley's death on him. Heartbroken by his father's actions, Toby would make a wish upon a star to find a new home, and find a new family who would love him and not be mean to him like his father.

How would the ponies of Equestria, especially The Mane Six react toward finding a lost human child in their land? Will the take him in and treat him as one of their own, or will they fear him and abandon him?

Chapters (33)
Comments ( 1447 )

2279766How were those kind words? I get it if you were seeing them as constructive criticism, but how were they kind?:rainbowhuh: Sorry if I come off as rude. But yeah, good story keep it up. Now those are kind words. And I really mean them, not just using them as an example.

Just decided to look over the comments before reading the story and everyone seems to be mentioning hight.

now I will probobly edit this after actualy reading the story but I have enough time to write this and put it in my read later folder.

acording to the show I.e useing the 8 foot candy cane as refrence pony hight is

:trollestia: (4 feet 10 inches) not including the horn

:applejackunsure::raritystarry: :rainbowkiss::pinkiehappy:
:twilightoops::yay: (3 feet 5 inches)

royal guard (4 feet)

:applecry::unsuresweetie::scootangel::moustache: (2 feet 7 inches) give or take

My Little Pony indeed.

This story is extremely predictable. And, honestly, I don't see in it in general any sense. Any story bears in itself an innovation, the new offer or idea. This history covers you with tears and a saliva, telling about the unfortunate boy who has got to the world of kind aliens. But more it doesn't give anything. Moreover, in it any logic is ignored. Where basic xenophobia? Where reaction of local society to appearance of the newcomer from other world?

2279792 Well, I guess I took those last words as contructed criticism. I accpet criticism, because when I started out writing mainly poetry, I had a lot of critics. Although, I know there are some writers that take criticism to heart, as do I, I feel that criticism help me write better.

2279934 Oh, okay. Thank you very much for the information. I truly appreciate it. :pinkiehappy:

2279960 Well, this being my very first fanfic ever, I know I am not doing good with a strong plot, but hopefully after I am done with this fanfic, or while continuing this one, I will improve.

2282948 Well, thank you very much for your kind words. I truly appreciate them. :pinkiehappy:

I'm confused.:applejackconfused: How can you acknowledge the events of A Canterlot Wedding by extension of acknowledging Magical Mystery Cure and say that the Princesses are gods?

2287543 Haha..thank you. I am working on the next chapter now. I plan to either have it posted either by tonight or tomorrow. Don't worry though, you will get more. :pinkiehappy:

2287344 Well, thank you for your words about the writing and grammar, I truly appreicate that. My apologies though that I couldn't interest you anymore with this story. I accept the criticism, and it being my first fanfic, i am know I am very raw and new to this. However, hopefully as this goes on it will get better. Thank you again for your words about the grammar and writing.:twilightsmile:

Sorry I haven't left a comment in a while. Anyway, I think Fluttershy would make a great mother to Toby, if only Earth had more moms like her. :ajsleepy:

... and somehow, I can't shake the feeling that something bad's gonna happend (which is really a good thing, you need conflict to get the plot going.) Mabye Toby would get kidnapped by racist, xenophobic ponies?

2290848 Thank you for your kind words. And I have been thinking about that to add to it of Toby being kidnapped and held hostage. i am going to do my best to finish Chapter Seven today. :pinkiehappy:

2297586 Just posted it. I am truly sorry for being late. I hope you enjoy it. :pinkiehappy:

Oh sure, end it just when their going to see his past:rainbowhuh:

2297663 Don't worry. I am going to get started on Chapter Eight right now. Thank you for your kind words. :pinkiehappy:

2297730 Hehe..what can I say, I wanted to put a good cliffhanger in sooner or later. :pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss:

2297749 Hehe..yep. I believe a story isn't good without a cliffhanger. :pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss:

Please let Toby call Shy "Mom" or "Mommy" :yay:

no matter how much we scream for more chapters RL must come first:fluttershysad: but please don't make us wait to long for the next one:fluttercry:

2298193 I will. However, I am planning to make Fluttershy calm him and ease him into it, because her being the caring and kind pegasus she is, I know she won't want him to feel that she is taking his mother's place. :fluttershysad:

2298224 Thank you for your kind words. I am glad you like it, I truly appreciate it. :pinkiehappy:

2298241 I might do that. I am thinking about him having a dream after Luna and the others go through his memories. There is so much going through my head right what I want to do with this. Thank you though for your support I truly appreciate it. :pinkiehappy:

2298331 Don't worry,I don't plan to take as long with upcoming chapters like I did with Chapter Seven. Thank you for your support, I truly appreciate it. :pinkiehappy:

This chapter seems to take a while to get going but, otherwise, holds to the plot quite well and manages to build up to the ending cleverly.

2298484 Thank you very kindly. I wanted to build up to the moment where they go into his memories. :pinkiehappy:

One question why is there so much space between the end of the chapter and the Author's Note?

2298708 Oh, I got to fix that somehow. Sorry about that. :twilightoops:

2298928 Well, I just got to add a little bit more to Chapter Eight. Oh, I promise it is going to get good, but kind of sad with one of Toby's memories. :pinkiesad2:

2298957
It seems to be at the end of all your chapters so kinda gotta look at all of them btw

bro... touching story, and a very good one to read, keep it up

:twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

2299467 Thank you for your kind words. I truly appreciate it. Next chapter I am thinking about maybe Luna, Celestia, and The Mane Six talking with Toby about what they saw in his memories. :pinkiehappy:

I know you had said that you didn't plan on taking so long on upcoming chapters but WOW:raritystarry: only a couple of hours, NICE:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh: thanks

and considering that Pinkie said nothing of her feeling. yeah, pops had better start looking behind him since Pinkie aint exactly bound by normal physics:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

as long you keep that innocence an those feelings in the story, good sir, it would be so awersome

:twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

2299597 Well, I try to live up to finishing something in time when I set my mind to it either on time, or if distracted by real life, just finishing it period. Thank you for your kind words, and oh yes I wanted to show Pinkie's very upset side. And James better watch out. :pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy:

The feels man, one of your best chapters to be honest.

This chapter made me shed a few tears:fluttercry:, you did your job well:ajsmug:

2299493 That would be another awesome scene. Keep up the good work :pinkiehappy:

James, I don't like you but here is a piece of advice: Run

Dude, NEVER apologize for taking care of family. It's too important to not take precedence over everything else. EVERYTHING.

Hmm. Seems like one thing Toby really needs, from a psychological standpoint, is a caring, gentle father figure, to replace the mental image of his real father. One who is, perhaps, very physically imposing, but quiet and takes care with everything he does. Maybe someone red... :yay:

Let me go to this ******* of a Father! I knock him out!

Is it anypony else that feels like knocking that bastard that dares call himself a father out cold? :flutterrage::twilightangry2:

2299739 Thank you very kindly. I wanted this chapter to be felt really hard with it being Toby's memories. His most loved memories, but the two last one his most painful. Especially the last one in his room with James. I wanted to show really why Toby is the timid and nervous child he is. Truly appreciate your kind words and I am honored that you feel this is my best chapter yet. :pinkiehappy:

2299727 Oh, don't worry, I plan on keeping the innocence and feelings. Thank you kindly. :pinkiehappy:

2299744 Thank you very much. It makes me feel proud of myself that I am able to make readers feel my words either in story form or poetry. :pinkiehappy:

2299835 Thank you very kindly and don't worry, I plan too. There are so many thoughts running through mind that I am having fun writing this. :pinkiehappy:

2299843 Lol...very sound advice for James to follow. Especially to stay away from an angry Fluttershy and crazy Pinkamena Diane Pie. :flutterrage::pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy:

2300053 Thank you for that, I really appreciate that. Also, I have been thinking about making a certain red stallion :eeyup: like a father figure to Toby. Someone that does have an intimidating presence, but will not harm a hair on his head and be caring toward him. :pinkiehappy: That will come in an upcoming chapter. :twilightblush:

2300518 Thank you very kindly for your words, and the animation. *Takes a bow* :twilightblush:

2300621 Makes me proud of my writing ability to make my readers feel. Thank you kindly. :twilightblush:

2300869 I should have put a warning of how James would be toward Toby in the memory, but I wanted it to grab the readers' attention. Oh, I know how you feel, I would love to knock him or any person out who abuses a child. :flutterrage:

2301237 Well, count me as a anypony. I plan on gettting The Mane Six and everypony to really comfort Toby even more now since they seen what his father done to him.

This chapter... I'm sorry, but you missed the target. You built up supense in the last chapter, but here... it was just too rushed and didn't generate any emotion. (Then again, this is coming from a guy who doesn't normally experience emotion when reading stories, except for mostly anger.)

You were gaining a lot of momentum coming into this chapter, but now, it's kind of stalled. :applejackunsure:

2302710 Indeed.Angry bronies could do the same justice to James just as a mad Fluttershy :flutterrage: or a crazed Pinkie Pie :pinkiecrazy:

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