• Published 4th Sep 2013
  • 1,140 Views, 38 Comments

What If She Lived - Al-1701



In one reality Megan killed, in another she wished she had.

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Majesty's Gift

Wind Whistler bit up some grass. The island fortunately had a wide variety of wild grasses to satisfy the taste buds. It was almost like back home except she was alone with her foals.

She wondered what it was like back in Dream Valley. How were the ponies faring building their new society. She longed to be with them.

Wind Whistler looked at herself in a puddle. A pony with matted mane and dulled colors looked back at her with tired eyes. She was twelve, but both her insides and outsides did not show it in different ways. Her insides seemed much younger than she figured and twelve year old pony would feel. Her wings were strong and her senses were sharp. However, after five years of hard living and no access to cosmetics, she looked much older.

“Mother! Mother!” Weathervane shouted from above her.

Wind Whistler looked up at her daughter. Her foals should have been full grown by now, but they looked more like the baby ponies that came from the mirrors. The white filly with a blue mane that reminded her of Cupcake landed in front of her.

“Mother, there’s a boat coming from the south,” Weathervane said. “It’s headed right for the island.”

Wind Whistler frowned. Her little flybys of boats to let Megan know they were still alive might have been too close for comfort. “Find your brother and hide in the cave.”

“What about you, Mother?” Weathervane asked.

“I’ll be fine,” Wind Whistler said with a smile. “I managed to evade Grogar and his horde. I think I can misdirect our unwelcomed guests.”

“Okay,” Weathervane said with a frown. She spread her small wings and flew away.


Wind Whistler hid in the bushes overlooking the sandy beach making up the south shore. She stayed low to the ground and watched the speedboat cut through the water straight for the island. As the boat got nearer, Wind Whistler could make out it had two passengers. The one at the driver’s side was a muscular male, and the other was a petite female.

The boat slowed and motored to a point where it could go no further. The man jumped out of the boat and into the water that came up to his waist. He walked around the boat and helped the woman into his arms. He then walked towards the shore.

Wind Whistler rolled her eyes. Great, it’s just some lovesick couple, she thought. If only Heart Throb was here to gush over them.

The man stepped onto the beach and set the woman down. “Are you sure they’re here?”

Wind Whistler tensed. These might not just be a looking for a romantic location.

“I’m sure of it,” the woman said. “This island is right in the middle of all the sightings.”

Wind Whistler swallowed. They were after them. She thought of her very gradually developing foals in the cave. She crouched even lower.

Her maternal instincts were overriding her logic as she went over options. She had two options: flee the island with her foals until these interlopers got bored and left or fight. Assuming they had no weapons, she could take two humans easily. Some well placed strikes of her hooves and wings, and they would not feel a thing. She could then just scuttle their boat with them in it.

“I’m not sure which one you are,” the woman called out. “Are you Paradise, North Star, Wind Whistler? Come on out, my little pony.”

Wind Whistler gasped. She knew that voice. That’s impossible, she thought.

Wind Whistler eyed the woman closer. She was incredibly pale, almost white in complexion. She might have been an albino, but her blue hair and purple eyes were definitely not albino traits. However, they were traits of her.

“Your queen demands your presence,” the woman barked.

Wind Whistler stood up. It was impossible, but she knew the voice and demeanor too well. She stepped out of cover and onto the beach.

“Queen Majesty?” Wind Whistler asked as she walked up to them.

“Wind Whistler,” the woman replied, “I see you recognize me even in this form.”

Wind Whistler scowled. “You’re supposed to be deceased.”

The human who looked like Majesty exhaled a forced chuckle and scratched her cheek nervously. “Yeah…about that. That wasn’t me who Tirac killed.”

“But I saw you—” Wind Whistler stopped in midsentence when she thought of that fateful day with Tirac murdered Majesty. Majesty’s body was torn asunder like paper. It was exactly like paper. There was no blood, no internal organs, she just tore apart. Wind Whistler scowled. “That was nothing but a double to make appear you had been killed.”

“Yup,” Majesty chirped.

Wind Whistler tightened her scowl and glared at Majesty. “You abandoned us! You left us at Tirac’s not so tender mercies”—she turned to the man—“so you could have fun with your bipedaled pleasure implement.”

The man scowled. “Did you just call me a two-legged sex toy?”

“You said it, not me,” Wind Whistler said. She turned back to Majesty. “How could you be so selfish? You created us and then threw us to the proverbial wolves.”

Majesty scowled the way she did when she looked down on her ponies. It was an expression Wind Whistler most often saw her give Applejack who was always making a nuisance of herself even if it was by accident most of the time.

Wind Whistler simply glared back at her. She had grown past Majesty. She had faced so many challenges since she supposed death. Her scorn meant nothing.

Majesty’s scowl formed into a grin. “I see your hard life hasn’t changed you one bit.”

“You’d be surprised,” Wind Whistler grumbled.

“Really?” Majesty asked. “You seem to value loyalty just as much as when I left.”

Wind Whistler stopped to think. Majesty was right like she was so many times. Through everything that happened, loyalty was at the center of it.

“Why are you living on this island in the middle of Lake Huron?” Majesty asked.

“Why are you a human”—Wind Whistler glanced to her companion—“and with him?”

“She should know,” the man said.

Majesty sighed. “Fine.”

She looked to Wind Whistler. “This is Megan’s father.”

Wind Whistler’s jaw dropped. “You’re the horrible louse who abandoned Megan and initiated her hatred of the entire male gender? Do you have any idea the Hell Megan puts Danny through because of your absence?”

“Well—” Megan’s father started to say.

“And you took him away from her,” Wind Whistler scolded Majesty. “How could you do that to a family? If you really needed a human companion that badly, there are literally millions of bachelors out there.”

“He and I go back much farther than Megan and her family,” Majesty said. “When I created my very first ponies, they brought a young man to our world. We fell in love, but something happened, and we realized it was not meant to be.”

“Don’t tell me you—” Wind Whistler started to say.

“Well…yeah,” Megan’s father said.

Wind Whistler smacked her hoof on her face. “That explains Heart Throb’s thing for bipeds.”

Majesty frowned. “Anyway, we realized he had to be with his kind.”

“I loved my wife, but Majesty always had my heart,” Megan’s father said. “So, when she found a way to be human, I had to be with her.”

“Well, I guess that will make Megan a little less bitter about your leaving her mother,” Wind Whistler said dully. “That’s assuming she isn’t disgusted with your true taste in partners.”

“So says the pony who would never take part in the pleasure,” Majesty said haughtily.

Wind Whistler scowled. “I will have you know I have mated and found the experience surprisingly pleasurable. My son and daughter are in fact here with me.”

“And you’re not in Ponyland why?” Majesty asked.

Wind Whistler stopped and heaved a sigh. “I’ve been exiled.” She rubbed her pastern on her leg. “I did a horrible thing, Queen Majesty, and I almost did an even more horrible thing.”

Majesty smirked. “Then you’re just like all the rest of us. Yet, you’ve learned from your mistake, haven’t you?”

Wind Whistler nodded. “Do you have a means for me and my foals to return home? I want to see our friends and family again. I want them to meet their father.”

Majesty frowned. “I’m afraid that will be complicated,” she said in that ominous tone she took down when there was danger. “For one thing, a great darkness has taken over Ponyland for a long time.”

Wind Whistler scowled. “Twilight Wish,” she hissed.

“Twilight Wish?” Majesty repeated as a question. “No, I’m talking about a more familiar darkness. Some of our most powerful enemies are back. I can feel their darkness especially since the rainbow bridge is back.”

“Then I can go home,” Wind Whistler said in a gasp. “I must return at once and help interdict them.”

“Before you go,” Majesty said, “I have a gift for you.”

She reached back and undid a necklace around her neck. She pulled it out of her dress and held it in front of Wind Whistler. The pendant was a clear orb the size of a small marble.

“What’s this?” Wind Whistler asked.

“Do you remember when Glory accidently teleported herself to that alternate world,” Majesty asked, “and the greedy wizard living there stole her horn?”

“I don’t know if you had created me yet,” Wind Whistler replied, “but I remember hearing the story.”

“I went to that world and learned the spell he used to remove her horn,” Majesty said. “Before I took human form, I removed my horn and turned it into this. All my magic is held in this orb. It was the only way to preserve it through the process I had to go through.”

“Why didn’t you leave it with us?” Wind Whistler asked.

“Think of all the things I was able to do,” Majesty said. “If the wrong pony called upon my powers, they could wreak unspeakable terror.”

Wind Whistler backed up a step. “I’m not sure I’m the pony to receive this. I was ruling the ponies with an iron hoof. I was a dictator, a thug. I turned outsiders on my own kind to solidify my tyranny. I’m the last pony you would want to possess that kind of power.”

Majesty took a step forward. “You were. However, you have repented, haven’t you?”

Wind Whistler thought. She was truly regretful for it all and never wished to be that pony again. “I guess I have.”

“Then you are ready to take this power.” Majesty touched the orb to Wind Whistler’s forehead.

Wind Whistler shrieked as pain shot through her entire body. Her legs buckled under her as her entire body felt like it was on fire. Her forehead felt like it was splitting open. She screamed until her voice cracked into a shrill cry. She writhed in the sand, trying to find a position that would lessen the pain. Then, all at once, the pain stopped.

Wind Whistler relaxed and took several breaths. She got her legs under her and slowly stood up. Her legs still shook as her body felt numb compared to the absolute agony that had just ripped through her. Her forehead also felt strange like something was embedded in it.

“Mother!” a young, female voice cried.

“Mother!” a young, male voice followed her.

Wind Whistler turned back. Weathervane and Turbine stood at the edge of the sand. “I thought I told you to remain in the cave,” she scolded.

The two stood there in silence, their eyes wide. Weathervane finally said, “Mother, you have a horn.”

“What do you mean I have a horn?” Wind Whistler looked as best she could to her forehead. She could just make out something protruding from it.

“Perhaps this will provide you a better look.” Majesty held her compact in front of Wind Whistler so she could see herself in the mirror.

Wind Whistler did have a unicorn’s fluted horn. There was also a substantial streak of white went in her mane, another trait of unicorns. She turned to see it better. Her mane and coat had been stored to immaculate condition like she had just been groomed. She turned back to the white ribbon tied around her tail. It had become faded, discolored, and tattered over the years, but it looked brand new and her tail was just as groomed as her mane.

She then thought her wings. She opened her them which were still at her sides.

“You now have my power,” Majesty said. “I would suggest you use it wisely, but I think you already know to do so.”

Wind Whistler heard a familiar sound. She twitched her ear. It was a sound she had been waiting four years for it. It was the twinkling of the Rainbow of Light. She looked up and the ribbon of color spiraled down.

Wind Whistler chuckled. “I am ever so glad to see you, Rainbow.”

The Rainbow circled around her like the playful cat looking for affection. “I know Ponyland is accessible to us again.” She then frowned. “And that it’s in danger.”

“I suggest you see to Megan first,” Majesty said. “I have a suspicion the darkness will track her down first.”

Wind Whistler looked back to her son and daughter watching with genuine concern in their eyes. She turned back to Majesty. “Can you be dependable for once in your life and watch over my son and daughter?”

“I suppose I owe that much,” Majesty said.

“You owe us so much more,” Wind Whistler said bitterly.

She turned her attention to the Rainbow circling her. “Take me back to Megan.”

The Rainbow spiraled away and flew to the southwest. Wind Whistler spread her wings and flew after it. It was going to be just like old times, right down to saving Megan and her fellow ponies from whatever threatened them.

* * * Chapter 8 goes as written until Grogar and Tirac reveal themselves * * *

Megan stared at the two old enemies, speechless that they were disguised as the two princesses. Of all the things to survive from her time in Ponyland, it had to be these two.

She unbuttoned her jacket and pulled out the locket containing the Rainbow of Light. She then remembered the Rainbow was gone retrieving Wind Whistler. However, she could bluff.

She held out the locket. “I know it’s been a while for you two, but I’m sure you remember this. I simply have to give one command and you’re dust.”

Grogar smirked. “Go ahead, my dear. Give us your worst.”

Megan drew in a breath. They called my bluff that easily? she thought. How could they have known I don’t have the rainbow?

The two walked towards her.

Twilight jumped into the middle of them. “I won’t let you hurt her. I also demand you tell us where the real princesses are right now.”

Grogar and Tirac burst into bellowing laughter. They stopped when a faint twinkling filled the air.

Megan heaved a sigh. “Better late than never.”

The Rainbow of Light streamed into the arena. A shower of sparkles materialized as a light blue pony with a pale pink mane. “Wind Whistler,” Megan gasped.

Wind Whistler turned back, showing the horn protruding from her forehead. Megan also realized there was a streak of white in her mane.

“Wait,” Twilight Sparkle said, “I thought you said she was a pegasus.”

“I am a Pegasus, or at least I was,” Wind Whistler said. “I just happened to come into some unicorn powers recently.”

“So,” Tirac said with a smirk, “the prodigal daughter returns.”

“And now that we have two alicorns and the Rainbow of Light,” Twilight Sparkler said angrily, “you better tell us where the real princesses are right now.”

The two smirked. “Right here before you,” Grogar said.

“What?” Twilight Sparkle gasped.

Grogar chuckled. “That’s right, princess. We weren’t impersonating your precious rulers. We were them all along.”

“But—but—” Twilight Sparkle choked.

“But you’re supposed to be dead, Tirac,” Megan said. She turned to Grogar. “You were banished to the Realm of Darkness.”

“You actually didn’t kill me,” Tirac said. “The Rainbow of Light sent me to the Realm of Darkness as well. We met each other and found a means to escape.”

“Then the real fun began.” Grogar said glanced to Tirac. “Should we tell them the tale?”

Tirac surveyed the crowd. “Since we seem to have a captive audience, why not?”

“We realized our powers were useless against Ponykind,” Grogar said. “So we decided to destroy them from the inside out.

“We started by finding two unicorn fillies. We made ourselves immaterial and entered their bodies. I possessed the elder sister, and Tirac possessed the younger.”

“Of course, it wasn’t a complete possession, though we could take full control when we wished,” Tirac continued their exposition. “We entrenched ourselves in deepest crevices of their minds, muttering sweet little lies and schemes to their subconscious. We gently molded their world view so as to keep their apparent benevolence while still executing our agenda. Think of them as the velvet gloves we wore over our iron fists.”

“We then needed to put them in a place of power in order to work our influence into your society,” Grogar said. “We used our powers to give them wings and immortality. We then took the Sun Stone from the flutter ponies to give them power over Mr. Sun and Mr. Moon. The ponies were quick to accept them as their rulers if not demigods, especially after defeating Discord with their new superweapon.”

“The Elements of Hamrony?” Twilight Sparkle gasped. “Are you saying you made them?”

Grogar chuckled. “That we did. We realized there was one power that trumped even the Rainbow of Light. That was the power of friendship, and we crafted the Elements to weaponize that power.”

“But, the Elements are a force for good,” Twilight Sparkle said.

“Are they?” Wind Whistler asked, looking back to Twilight Sparkle. “Evil can be harmonious just as easily as good can be chaotic. Friendship knows no good or evil.”

“As clever as ever,” Grogar said. “I should have figured you would be the one to survive this long.”

“Four years on Lake Huron was certainly rough,” Wind Whistler said, “but it was far from impossible.”

Tirac burst into laughter. “You don’t know? Five years might have passed on this side of the rainbow, but five millennia pasted on our side.”

Wind Whistler gasped. “What?”

“Do you think we could have done this all in five years?” Grogar asked. “We’re good, but not that good.”

“Twilight and Mr. Moon decided to hit fast forward on the timeflow,” Tirac said. “That way, by the time you found a way back, all your loved ones and your very society would be dust. You’d be truly alone.”

Wind Whistler slouched.

“I’m so sorry, Wind Whistler,” Megan said.

“I’m fine, Megan.” The tears streaming down Wind Whistler’s cheeks suggested otherwise. “I will mourn my friends and family in due time, but right now we must defeat these two throwbacks for the sake of the currently living.”

Megan looked to Tirac. “How did you know of Twilight exiling Wind Whistler?”

“It was a little hiccup in our plan,” Grogar said.

“Unfortunately my host was an emotionally weak pony,” Tirac said. “She left herself open for Twilight Wish to enter her as the Nightmare Forces. We had a little turf war until Grogar sealed us away in the Moon. He had to figure out how to remove Twilight and not me. Still, I got to know everything she knew including what happened between her and Wind Whistler.”

“Hmph. I thought I smelled Twilight Wish’s stench when I entered,” Wind Whistler said sharply.

“It took a thousand years, but I finally found six ponies who could unlock the full power of the Elements of Harmony,” Grogar said. “It killed two birds with one stone. I was able to end Luna’s stint as a duplex and find the last pieces for our revenge on Majesty.”

“Majesty’s dead,” Megan said.

“Actually, she’s not,” Wind Whistler said. “Where do you think I procured my new horn? Assuming we live through this, there is much to tell you.”

“Why not tell her right now?” Grogar asked. “Tell her how her father came to Ponyland and sired an abomination with Majesty. Tell her Daddy only settled for her mother and left with Majesty once she found a way to make herself human. Tell her she was being raised as a weapon to be used by the ponies.”

Megan dropped the Rainbow Locket. It hit the earthen ground, and the Rainbow of Light settled on the ground.

“You’re lying,” Megan whimpered.

“Am I, Wind Whistler?” Grogar asked.

Wind Whistler swallowed. “No.” Her lips quivered. “He’s telling the truth.”

Megan dropped to her knees.

“That abomination was me,” Triac said. “She abandoned me, and her creations spat upon me. I swore my revenge on all of them and their descendants.”

“So, you built Equestria?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“That’s the nicest revenge ever!” Pinkie Pie cheered.

Grogar smirked. “Was it?”

“What do you mean?” Rainbow Dash asked. “We’re awesome.”

“They built an empire,” Megan said. “They’ve come a long way.”

Grogar chuckled. “I will admit the ponies have expanded their sphere of influence, but they haven’t advanced much under our reign.

“You should see the ponies of Equestria. They’re weak, frightened, ignorant, and narrow-minded.” Grogar turned his gaze on Applejack. “We’ve convinced them they should see anything new as instantly bad and traditional values should be upheld at all costs.”

“The modern pony is a small creature, and I don’t just mean physically,” Tirac continued. “They go into a panic at the smallest thing that threatens their precious status quo. We’ve removed the ingenuity, curiosity, and fortitude ponies had in Wind Whistler’s time. They’re sheep.”

“They even look like sheep now that I can compare them to a real pony,” Grogar joked.

Along with being stockier and more muscular, Wind Whistler had a slightly longer and boxier muzzle than Twilight Sparkle and the others. Although she was not the spitting image of a true horse by any stretch of the imagination, she did look closer than ‘modern’ ponies.

“That is the potential evil of harmony,” Wind Whistler said. “It can get to a point where the individual loses power in the face of the whole. Are there any great ponies of your time?”

“Well—” Twilight Sparkle started to say.

“No,” Grogar answered for her, “at least none that are considered desirable for the society. The gifted are marginalized and labeled con artists when they try to make a living off their gifts. Again, we have to uphold those traditional values.” He directed the last sentence in a mocking tone at Applejack.

Wind Whistler turned to Applejack. “What did you do?”

“Well—Ah—Ah had to save mah farm,” Applejack said. “They were gonna put it out of business.”

“And you had a knee jerk reaction against any change to your methods, and cider production will be stuck in the Dark Ages for another generation because of it,” Grogar said. “I’m so proud of you.”

Wind Whistler turned to Grogar. “So you’ve retarded social and technological advancement, so what?”

“As we weakened the power of the individual we strengthened the power of friendship and its importance in the public psyche,” Grogar said. “Now, with the Elements of Harmony, we can turn it into the ultimate weapon and destroy everything Majesty built.”

“And you can join us, half-sister,” Tirac said to Megan. “Both of us were born to the same unloving father. We can enact our revenge on him and his whore. I know it burns in you.”

Twilight Sparkle dropped into a sit. She sobbed softly. “Everything I thought I knew was a lie.”

Megan tensed. Hot tears welled in her eyes. “I thought the ponies were doing so well without me. I thought they were finally growing up.”

“They were,” Grogar said. “They had a thriving democratic society that would have been the envy of your ancient Greece or Rome. However, releasing Discord to smash it all in the name or chaos, and then swooping in as the big heroes put an end to that. We also had to rewrite history a little like make up a new origin story for Equestria that vilified debate and upheld conformity, but now the ponies are exactly what we need.”

“Enough talk,” Tirac snapped. “Will you join us sister?”

Megan clenched her teeth. She picked the Rainbow Locket up off the Ground and held it in her fist. The Rainbow rose off the ground and circled around them. She got to her feet and glared at Tirac and Grogar. “I’ll never join you! I don’t care what the ponies have done to you or me. I’ve love them more than life itself, and I wouldn’t give up my time with them for anything in the world. I don’t know how you escaped your prison, but this time I’ll bury you so deep you’ll never find your way back!”

Tirac scowled. “If you won’t join us, sister, you’ll have to help us as target practice.

A crown like Twilight’s and five necklaces floated out of the box.

“But, the Elements will never serve evil,” Twilight Sparkle insisted.

“How soon you’ve forgotten,” Tirac said. “We built a little hidden feature into the Elements. Say we take the Elements away from the wellsprings of magic that formed them and into another world”—he held out his arms and looked around—“a world like this one maybe. The light magic of the Elements of Harmony are dimmed and they can be used by good or evil alike.”

“Now, Element Bearers,” Grogar growled, “time to fulfill your real destiny.”

“What do you—” Twilight Sparkle stopped in midsentence. Her pupils and irises disappeared and are eyes seemed to glow. She lifted off the ground and floated, her legs swinging limply, towards Tirac and Grogar. The other five joined her.

Wind Whistler spread her wings.

“Touch any of them, and they all die,” Grogar said coldly.

Wind Whistler folded her wings and glared forward.

The crown pushed the crown Twilight was wearing off to take its place. The necklaces secured around the others’ necks.

“Good bye, Megan Williams and Wind Whistler,” Grogar said mockingly. “I would say it’s been was a pleasure, but what’s the point of lying to the dead?”

Tirac and Grogar roared with laughter. The six ponies floated into formation between them. Black energy formed around their gems and connected them with beams.

Comments ( 16 )

....Even with Wind Whistler, this exhibition leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Yes, I like the way you're doing things, but still. Grogar and Tirek's plan is so...strange. They created a society that's pretty much a utopia all just to get back at Megan and Majesty....:facehoof: Where to begin.

So Equestria has stagnated and the only innovaters have been seen as con-artist?....Well what about the electric dam, lightbulbs, that fork lift, airships, etc. Seems to me that Equestria's currently going through a industrial revolution. And those con-artists were just that. I'd think I'd have Applejack's opinion if someone came onto my property with some new device and wanted to take most of the profit. {I think it would have bee more fair for the Apples to just allow one cup a pony. Pinkie Pie was hogging it.}

And I always believed that the Element of Magic worked for Sunset was because she herself was a possible Element wearer. Celestia herself saw the capability to become a princess and an Element bearer and tried to bring the good out of her. When that didn't happen, she searched for someone else.
And even then, when Sunset wore the Element, using it against the real Element stopped her. Why you may ask. Well because the Elements of Harmony seem to have a mind of their own. When used, it is the Elements who choose the punishment, not the bearers. They also choose and recognize their bearers. So when Sunset used it upon Twilight, it backlashed. {I'm surprised that didn't happen here, cause that's how they work.}

And of course the ponies are more skittish. For one, they live in a peaceful society therefore are not used to horrors. Two, most of the creatures of the planet would eat them without a second thought. Standing your ground isn't the best method against a hydra or something.

Which reminds me, the society....Why didn't Grogar and Tirek just take over themselves? From what it seems like, they could have. Nope. They take a back seat and allow the ponies to thrive....And let's not forget allowing for big groups of Majesty supporters and such. With that in mind, even with their new 'powers', there is going to be a big opposition movement. Hope they like ponies raiding their supplies and hurdling beams of DEATH into their faces.

Lastly, and this is about the original author, he seems to be really putting g4 down compared to g1. {Which is built up as better.} And now, the Elements of Harmony are null and void {are works of evil} Celestia and Luna {two goddesses} are just pawns in the evil beings work? :twilightangry2::flutterrage:

ARGH! And now it is all pretty much up to Megan to save the day.....Okay. That's pretty much like a lot of crossovers with FIM. You know, where the FIM characters can't and really don't do anything and it's up to the other universe to save the day.

Not to mention degrading both Celestia and Luna. {Why do people do that? Especially Celestia. She gets beat by every other good/bad guy in fiction.} Come on. I was hoping the author would treat them with respect, but nope. Pawns. :twilightangry2:

Which is really aggrivating in the context that even though they are gods, who have lead their country into a peaceful utopia {something we can only dream} for centuries, take a backseat to Queen Majesty. Yes, Queen Majesty. That queen who we never saw in g1, and from what I saw, not really ever mentioned, is built up as some sort of supreme goddess that can do everything....Why should I care about a character I've never seen in any generation? Why should I stomach seeing characters talking about her as though she's their equivalent of the God Emperor of Mankind, when they are currently ruled by two goddesses we've seen in the show and have grown ever so fond of? Yeah, this is just me personally, but if anything, maybe they should be worshipped. {And now it seems she's been hiding all this time....Okay. Seems like a cowardly b**** to me.}

Not mention that she had a son with a human, threw him to the side because he was different, forced her human lover to find someone else so that he can have children that will one day save them, and then take him away from them causing Megan to hate men and torture Danny over it. :facehoof: That's their Queen? She just makes me want to punch her. {I should note that Celestia and Luna would have been queen's had it not been for Hasbro...Stupid.}



{Still this is good work and I like your interpretation of events. It's just that ending was just...it was like a Shamala twist. Like how aliens hate water and stuff.}

3425050 Hey. I'm working off the source material which is Davidson's work. HE was the ones who made Celestia and Luna Grogar and Tirac's mindbitches. HE was the one who said the Elements of Harmony were designed to be used by good or evil. I'm just willing to see it through.

And how do you know all the technology ponies are using isn't ancient? The G1 ponies had the same technology 5,000 years ago. It was just on a smaller scale then. My point is pony society has gotten bigger but not better.

As for AJ, it's not that she simply refused to embrace the Flim Flam Brothers' technology, it's that she rejected the notion that she should find a different way of making cider entirely despite the fact her methods are inadequate. Better to suck your way than be effective someone else's way. That's right up there with Mysterious Mare Do Well in terms of being a terrible moral.

And while I typically respect other people's opinions, I honestly hate the fanon that Celestia and Luna are gods. Faust herself has said they're not meant to be deities.

And while Majesty never appeared on the show (she was actually slated to appear in the cartoon series, but was dropped so they could make Megan the ponies den mother), she was featured heavily in the comics and other written media where she was an absolute badass who could seriously ruin your dead if you threatened her kingdom.

Now I know how Davidson felt. Well, damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead.

3425088 Hey I'm not trying to be mean to you or anything. :fluttershysad: I'm just stating my own opinion. I'm sorry if I came off a little...okay a lot strong. I just didn't care for it personally.

And Deity is a loose term. They move the sun and moon {pretty much they are the sun and moon in mortal form} and are immortal. That can be considered a deity. Just look at other religion and such. Heck, they are like the God Emperor of Mankind. Powerful immortal ruler who cares for their people. Maybe not gods, but some may call them that.{Why do you hate that idea though?}

And yeah, I've heard. I've just never seen it myself and thus have no attachment to her.

Well, would you trust someone like the Flim-Flam brothers? {I wouldn't.} I mean, they were shifty eyed businessmen. And they were kind of haughty, antagonizing the apples, and instead of trying to be nice about the ordeal, they try to con the Apples out of both their land and home.

3425144 I wouldn't trust the Flim Flam Brothers as far as I can throw them. However, I wouldn't just brush off their presence and keep puttering along like nothing's happened because "That's how we always done it" either. The fact Applejack didn't give an inch despite the events of the episode screaming her ear "How you're doing things isn't working, so you have to change your ways somehow!" was aggravating. Again, the message boiled down to "Better to suck my way than be effective another way."

3425211 Erm...Okay yeah. The Apples could use some renovation in their work, but they are traditionalist. Quite a few humans have and would do the exact same thing, wanting to keep with tradition.

Ah... thanks for reminding me how incredibly insanely bad that final chapter was. And how head-tiltingly... I don't know. How it bent Equestria to be so horrid? How it demeaned G4, too.

3425211 AJ *did* want to use the Flim-Flam brothers' technology, but the offer they made her was unacceptable. Then Granny Smith bet the farm on their traditional methods working.

In general, Equestria strikes me as a society that's in the middle of a dark age -- the population is depressed with vast tracts of wilderness between the surviving cities, and lots of knowledge was lost in whatever disaster put them in that state. Basically, it's post-apocalyptic. Whether Discord or Nightmare Moon or something else entirely was the apocalypse, the jury's still out. But dark ages tend to last about a thousand years, so they might be due for a renaissance.

3425603 I'm thinking of refining this more. I'm trying to get Tirac and Grogar's personalities down better. I want to give the sense that they're not just the big scary monsters that snarl at you. It's the demented workings in their head you really have to be scared of.

I also like the idea that Equestria is a distopia from the perspective and Megan and Wind Whistler and that harmony is not necessarily good. The Borg are the most harmonious creatures in fiction, but are without question antagonists. I even decided to change how they stop the Elements of Harmony to Megan and Wind Whistler using the Mane 6's individuality to knock them out of harmony.

It's also a chance for me to openly mock everything I don't like about the show. I don't like the origins of Equestria as told in Hearth's Warming Eve. I don't like the black and white ending to Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. It's my chance to take everything I saw as wrong about the show and say "It's wrong."

3425808 If you're continuing this, may I ask why it's marked as 'complete'?

3425812 Because I didn't bother to change it from when it was a one shot.

3425808
Well, you're entitled to your opinion. But the notion that Equestrian society ostracizes individual excellence is simply not supported by anything in the show. Rarity is valued for her accomplishments as well as for her generous attitude, and her creations always examplify the intended recipient's individual personality rather then conform to a single, homogenous standard.

I think the problem here is that you're confusing "Harmony" with "Loss of Individuality", which is counter to the friendship lessons of the show itself. Harmony, as taught by the show itself, is about different people coming together and getting along, not about everyone thinking the same way. The Mane Six are the most solid group of friends in existence, and yet they all have the most different personalities ever, many of which still clash today, even as they've learned to get along.

And that is why I refuse to believe the Elements of Harmony could've been created by the forces of Evil, or even that Tirek and Grogar could even use them. Heck, when Sunset Shimmer stole Twilight's crown and used its power to turn herself into Demon-goddess Sunset, it's power backfired and empowered Twilight and the Humane Six to defeat her. The Elements of Harmony just aren't meant to be used for Evil, and never will be.

Besides, the only way I could ever see anyone from the Forces of Evil use "The Power of Friendship" would be creating a spell that, everytime it's used, reduced the amount of friendship available in the Universe.

3427141 You're thinking on the micro level. On the macro level, there is a loss of individuality and stagnation. The fact Twilight finishing a sentence is such a monumental event tells us new ideas don't come around very often, or are at least not accepted very very often.

I think I want to change the wording about Flim and Flam, saying only con artists looking to make a quick bit seem to be the ones coming up with new ideas.

And Sunset Shimmer obviously wouldn't know everything about the Elements of Harmony. (She should have barely known anything at all about them.) If Grogar and Tirac actually made them, they would know how to use them and are much more powerful that Sunset.

3427267
Uh, if you refer to Twilight finishing Star Swirl the Bearded's spell, then let me point out the obvious: It's a Spell. And a very powerful spell, considering it messes with Cutie Marks, something that Twilight couldn't affect back in Call of the Cutie. You don't let just anyone mess around with an unfinished spell. Star Swirl the Bearded was the greatest Mage of his era, and he couldn't master the concepts of Friendship enough to finish the spell. It took Twilight Sparkle, possibly her era's greatest Magical Genius, and a new expert in the field of Friendship, to complete it.

As for the concept of the Ponies being resistant to technological progress, let me remind you that for a lot of the things we humans use technology for, the Ponies have access to Pegasus Weathershaping, Unicorn Magic, or Earth Pony affinity with Nature and Animals to use instead. Necessity is the Mother of Invention, and if the Ponies never developed a Need to invent ever better technology to improve their lives, they wouldn't have invented them. And as Striker pointed out, the big "Crime" in the Cider episode wasn't in Flim and Flam using technology to make Cider. It was in having outright criminal business practices of gouging apple farmers for the "privilege" of using their cider-making machine, which I'm sure they had a complete monopoly on. Meanwhile, in other episodes, we've seen Twilight having a fully set-up lab, we've seen a fully functional railroad system, and even modern construction equipment. Stagnant, the Ponies of Equestrian aren't.

And Finally, I still don't buy the idea of Tirek and Grogar creating the Elements of Harmony and having a "back door" allowing them to exploit and corrupt their power into a Rainbow of Darkness, no matter how much you and Davison try to convince me otherwise.

I'd sooner buy the idea that Tirek and Grogar think they made them and put them under their control, only for Twilight Sparkle and the Mane Six to utterly subvert their control over the Elements and turn them on them. ...Because as it turns out, Celestia and Luna were never the helpless pawns they wee thought to be, and created their own back door into the Elements to make sure Tirek and Grogar couldn't control them.

I found some things you may want to edit.

Her mane and coat had been stored to immaculate condition like she had just been groomed.

That should be "restored".

“And now that we have two alicorns and the Rainbow of Light,” Twilight Sparkler said angrily, “you better tell us where the real princesses are right now.”

That should be "Sparkle".

“That abomination was me,” Triac said. “She abandoned me, and her creations spat upon me. I swore my revenge on all of them and their descendants.”

That should be "Tirac"

Tirac scowled. “If you won’t join us, sister, you’ll have to help us as target practice.

And there's quotation mark missing.

I think I mentioned this in the original story's comments, but I think that all the plot points with Grogar and Tirac manipulating Celestia and Luna, and Tirac being Megan's half-brother and everything could work...but it needs to be spread out over the course of the sequel instead of just giving it to us in a GIANT infodump. Have the two reveal themselves and try to fire their evil harmony ray using the mane 6, but don't have them just stand there and exposit a story's worth of plot. Instead the rest of it should be slowly told over the course of the sequel as Megan and co work to find a way to stop the two and try to undo the damage. The half-brother thing especially should be a doozy to keep in reserve for when Megan confronts Majesty and her dad, or later in the story during another confrontation with Tirac. Trying to pull a 'Luke I am your father(or brother in this case)' in the midst of so many other revelations just deadens the impact.

I'm reminded of the story rule 'show don't tell' when it comes to the true state of pony society in Equestria too. Instead of the two big bads bragging about how decadent and close minded the ponies are, SHOW it during Megan and co's time in Equestria when they're going after the two. It'd be really heartbreaking for Megan, and especially for Wind Whistler in this AU, to see that the mighty Empire of Equestria is actually populated by shallow, small minded, jerks with a thin sugar coat of supposed friendship. I imagine a trip to Canterlot would be especially jarring, where 9 out of 10 ponies seem to treat anyone not a part of 'high society' like dirt.

I actually do like most of the plot twists in the original chapter 8 of Mighty Demon Slayer, and would love to see them in action, but they just DON'T work when you dump an entire sequel's worth of plot into just the finale of the prequel story.

This is never going to be finished, is it?

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