Equestria Centennial Census Report: Ponyville Log

by Princess Gryph

Day 1: Landing in Ponyville, Day 2: Surplus Data

Day 1: Landing in Ponyville

I landed just on the outskirts of town, in order to avoid causing alarm. Townsponies of small hamlets such as this one are often overexcited by visits from royalty, and rarely does this ever suit my purposes. Though Celestia had told me an alicorn did now reside here, one by the name of Twilight Sparkle, keeper of the Elements of Harmony and recently ascended, I still did not expect the townsponies to be any more comfortable with the presence of an alicorn, especially a strange one who had not touched down in their town for a couple generations.

I tucked my wings under my saddlebags before moving into the village. With any luck, I would pass myself off as a regular boring unicorn for most of my visit. It worked most of the time.

The soft light of dawn had only just begun to blanket the village, its modest cottages casting long shadows over the town square. I thought it wise to first visit the Mayor in the town hall, to drop off some paperwork to complete their centennial census report. The sooner they had it completed, the sooner I could head home, as this was my last stop on a very long, tiring tour of Equestria.

A few curious ponies peeked out their windows as I trotted through the town square. They rubbed their bleary eyes and leaned out their windows to get a better look as I left them behind. In larger cities, I would blend in unnoticed, but in a town as small as this, a new face tends to pique everypony's curiosity a bit, no matter what. Despite this cultural proclitivity, I still hoped I could get my business done without drawing too much attention.

I was surprised by the state of the town hall upon my arrival – it was a bit worse for wear. I was sure there was some story behind that, but I would find out soon enough. I made a note to ask about it if I had time at the end of the evening for extra data collection. For now, I wanted to get my primary objectives out of the way.

I was just about to knock when I noticed a brown-maned unicorn, her forelock neatly brushed and the mass of her mane tied into a tidy bun. “Excuse me.”

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“Do you work for Mayor Mare?”

“Why yes,” she said, smiling. “I'm her secretary, in fact. She isn't usually in this early, but I–”

“Oh, good,” I said. I levitated a bundle of scrolls from my bags and passed them off to her. “I have here the paperwork for Ponyville's Official Centennial Census Report. See to it that she receives it, and let her know I expect it to be completed by the end of the evening.”

The secretary seemed flustered. “Oh, certainly, um, but–”

“No need to seek me out,” I assured her as I cantered off. “I'll be by to pick them up tonight!”

***

Other than my royal garb, my only other cargo were some books I intended to add to the Golden Oaks Library – some natural studies on dragons by Thunderhoof the Brave, a couple updated medical textbooks and science journals from Bill Neigh, and a photography book of Big Shot's greatest works. Of course, I also had tons of scrolls filling in the extra space from documenting my journey and collecting data from different cities and villages in Equestria, but that went without saying.

When I tapped the knocker on the door, I was surprised when I was greeted by a small purple dragon. He looked up at me with a toothy smile. “Hi, can I help you?”

“Yes, I'm here to drop off some books to add to the library.” I levitated them out of my bag and piled them in his arms. “I was told they would be of some interest to Princess Twilight.”

“Awe shucks, everything's of interest to her!” He bore the weight of the books with a grin, though they towered over his head. He began to hobble away with them.

“I also have a list of materials I require from this library...” I began slowly. “Um, do you... need a hoof?”

“Nah, I got this under control!” he assured me.

“Who's that?” I heard a voice from within the library ask the dragon.

“A unicorn with some new books for the library!” he called back. “It's... um, what was your name again?”

“Is that Princess Twilight?”

“Yep.” He continued hobbling in the general direction of the shelves. “Hey Twilight, maybe you should just come and introduce yourself? You've been up to your withers in books all week. Saying hi to another pony would do you some good.”

“Ugh, fine,” I heard her snort. I did not hear a clopping of hooves across the floor before she appeared in front of me. I spooked and reared a little.

She looked me up and down, puzzled, before gasping with delight. “You must be Princess Gryphyn Bloodheart, of the Land of Fire and Ice! Oh I've read so much about you!”

I groaned, asking only rhetorically, “How ever did you guess?”

“Well you're not wearing your princess regalia, and you have your wings tucked away, but your coat is a dead giveaway to anyone who's ever read 'Notable Alicorns of Equestria and Beyond, Volume 1-6' and I have of course read them all.” She grinned, pleased with herself.

“Please, just call me Gryph,” I told her.

“And you're just as modest as I read you were! This is fascinating!” She danced in place a little. I took a step back.

“Uh, sure... As I was saying, I have a list of books I require from this library. If you could collect them for me–” I made to pass off a scroll to the excited young princess, but she made me spook again when she made a stack of books materialize between us.

“'Perplexing Pet Plagues, Second Edition' by Mane Goodall, 'Changing Skies of Equestria' by Star Hunter, and 'The Business of Ink and Love Seats: A Memoir' by–”

“Celestia must have told you.”

“Of course!”

“Well, very good. I'll be by to pick up these books later, if you don't mind.”

“Can I come with you?”

“Excuse me?” I was already disappointed the conversation had run this long.

“I'm sorry. I just assumed... You'll be collecting data while in Ponyville today, right? I was just hoping, if you don't mind–”

I'd already begun to walk away. “I've got it taken care of, thank you Princess. Now if you'll excuse me–”

“Oh no, please,” she insisted, popping in front of me again, causing me to jump and shiver. She was really keen on that teleportation spell. “I can't let royalty wander through Ponyville without an escort! Please let me show you around! And I can help! For science! For knowledge! Ooo! Let me get my bags!” She vanished into thin air, leaving behind a disorienting flash. She rematerialized in front of me in a familiar fashion, this time wearing her saddle bag emblazoned with a six-pointed star much like her cutie mark. “Okay, I'm ready!”

It seemed I had no choice. As I headed out to Sweet Apple Acres, the eager alicorn trotted alongside me, telling me about all the landmarks as we passed them, landmarks I knew far more about than she could imagine. The problem was, there was nothing this mare could teach me that I didn't already know. For, while she should have theoretically known this from her readings, she did not seem to fully comprehend that I was the Princess of Knowledge, Keeper of the Flame, and that I know everything. I even know everything I don't know; that is to say, I always know what I need to do and where I need to go to complete my reservoir of knowledge. And I knew having Princess Twilight Sparkle around would only interfere with my work.

***

Sweet Apples Acres was much more expansive than when I'd left it, which was to be expected. I was pleased to see how the farm had prospered since its founding. I only hoped that Granny Smith was still around, though something told me she was. I was drawn to this site not just because it had some of the deepest historical roots in the town, but because I knew Granny Smith would have all the information I needed.

“This is Sweet Apple Acres!” Twilight announced, with a redundancy unbeknownst to her. “My friend Applejack lives here.”

“Oh, hm, right, your friends,” I said, trying not to be too rude. I'd heard of her friends, I knew the story, their powers. Frankly, as far as eternal powers go, the Elements of Harmony were a bore in comparison to others. But I held my tongue. No need for an outbreak of hoof-in-mouth disease.

“She's one of the hardest working ponies is Ponyville,” Twilight continued yammering, to my dismay. “Everypony knows they can always count on her to get a job done, and get it done right.”

I noticed the Apple family seemed to just be rising for work. A big red stallion sauntered out to the orchard, a little red-maned filly was heading out to the barn, likely to feed livestock, and an orange pony was trotting up to greet us; no doubt this was Applejack.

Before I could say anything, Twilight, being a good hostess, burst out: “Applejack! This is Princess Gryphyn Bloodheart, of the Land of Fire and Ice. She's here to collect data from Ponyville.”

“Well howdy Princess.” Applejack beamed at me, took my hoof, and shook vigorously. “Always a pleasure, meetin' royalty and all. Though I wish y'all would have given me a bit of warning–could have whipped up a hearty breakfast for y'all.”

“That's quite alright,” I assured her. “I only came to speak with an old friend. I don't suppose Granny Smith would be up and about yet?”

“She sure and sugar is,” Applejack said, tipping her weather-worn hat. “I'll call her over for y'all! Graaaa–”

“No need!” I shouted, too harshly. The ponies looked a bit stunned. I cleared my throat. “No need, I'll just go to see her. She's in the farmhouse I assume.” I cantered toward the rustic little house. I'd already met too many new faces for the day, and I knew there would be more to come. I was looking forward to seeing at least one familiar face.

“Well I wish I could be of more help to y'all,” I could hear Applejack telling Twilight as I made my escape, “but we have a lot of harvestin' to do today and we're already wasting daylight. But it looks like the Princess knows what she's doing, so I'm just gonna get to work then.”

At least somepony appreciated the importance of getting a job done. I might even have enjoyed Applejack's company had I not had so much work myself to do.

I knocked on the front door and heard a garbled, “Nyu...myu... Just a minute!” and the creak of a chair. I already knew this would not be the youthful mare I remembered, but it only began to sink in at that moment. It was a moment longer before she made it to the door to greet me.

“Why bust mah balloon, it's Gryph! What a delightful surprise!” Her voice sounded as weary as the rocker in the distance she had apparently been resting in. “Why don't you come in?”

I was happy to oblige. “It's a pleasure to see you, old friend. It's been too long.”

“You two know each other?” It seemed Princess Twilight was still following along.

“Yes. From a very long time ago.”

“Let's see, it's been... well let me think. Two... times six... carry the one...” she seemed to be doing some crazy mathematics, but then seemed to forget what she was doing and stared at me with foggy eyes.

“Too long,” I said, “however you count it.”

“That's right!” she nodded. “Why don't you come have a seat by the fire with me? These chilly autumn mornings get my joints achin'!”

“I can't stay too long,” I explained, “I am here on business. I was hoping you could catch me up on some of the happenings in this town since I last visited.”

“Of course, always the work horse you are, a true member of the Apple family if you want my opinion. Just like when you came and helped us with the fields, we were so spry back in those days.”

“Heh, yeah,” I said. I felt like it had barely been a couple years, but for her it had been much longer, and she wore the years a bit heavier than I did. I've made many friends and acquaintances in my lifetime, and this was precisely why I didn't like to become too attached. But sometimes, it just became difficult to maintain that distance.

“Well I don't know if you know it, but after you left, we had awfully slim pickin's for food. I went out to rustle up some grub, gather some berries and whatnot, you understand, when I found the Zap Apple trees!”

I was very familiar with the events, in fact, but I let her retell the story because it seemed to put some life in her. Little did she know, I hadn't completely left back then. I stayed around, keeping out of sight, making sure the family was adjusting to their new home, and it was I who imbued Granny Smith with the drive and curiosity to venture out on her own to find the Zap Apples. Her direction of travel and what she thought she'd stumbled upon was no accident after all.

While she told her tale, I brought out my scrolls and ink. Twilight watched on in befuddlement as the notes wrote themselves, no quills necessary. Even though I didn't start writing until she was done telling about the Zap Apples and timberwolves, I quickly realized I had not brought enough parchment to catch up on all the history.

More parchment materialized in front of my face, throwing off my concentration and my writing halted for a moment. I glared at Twilight, but she just smiled. “I always bring extra parchment! Never know when you need more parchment! And I always find I need more than I was expecting, so even after I pack extra, I always bring extra-extra!”

Grateful though I was for the parchment, I wished I could be spared the young Princess' overbearing enthusiasm.

I documented all morning, but by high noon, just as Granny Smith was telling me about the birth of her foals, I realized I would have to expedite the process. Besides the tale taking so much time to tell, there were so many holes left open in her story from her own senility and confusion, I knew I would have to get the information in a more automated fashion.

“Ah, look at that,” I interrupted when Granny started to trail off a bit, “It's nearly lunch time. I am starved, and surely you must be exhausted from all this. Perhaps... if you don't mind?”

“Oh but of course!” Granny said. “Though I do like telling all these old stories. These young fillies these days just don't appreciate what us elder ponies have to share anymore. But I understand, you're a very busy Princess after all. Go right ahead.”

Princess Twilight watched on eagerly, practically stumbling over herself to get a good look, as I laid the tip of my horn to Granny's forehead. Light radiated from the point of contact, and for a moment lit the whole room. A flood of images, memories, old voices and songs washed over my mind. As they came through, I touched them up a bit, sharpening the focus, brightening the colors, tuning the words until they were clear as present tense. And when I was done and the memories were recorded, I sorted them as I returned them to their source.

When I was through, I could see the difference in the glint of Granny's eyes. For a moment, I could see the young mare I had met so many moons ago. She looked down at the mess of parchment now strewn across the floor, all her memories now processed and converted to ink upon them. “Sometimes it's hard to remember I remember that much,” she said in exasperation, giving her head a good shake.

“W-what just happened?” Twilight Sparkle spluttered.

“Yee-haw! I feel fit as a filly!” Granny hollered. “How 'bout I make y'all some Zap Apple jam and toast and you can stay awhile.” She trotted over to the kitchen to start prepping the meal.

“I simply extracted the memories directly and recorded them,” I explained as I collected the scrolls. “It's a lot quicker that way, and with much older ponies it's usually a lot easier to organize the information too. It expends quite a bit of energy, but its worth it. I've gotten much more efficient at it over the years though.”

“Oh I know what you mean,” she said, trying too hard to relate. “One time, I tried a new spell to give my friend Rarity wings and...”

She really didn't know.

“What kind of toast y'all want?” Granny called to us.

“Whatever you have is just fine,” I told her.

“I'll make a fresh batch of sourdough just for you. I know how much you love mah recipe!” And with that, Granny commenced in pulling out all the utensils and ingredients she needed to get started.

“Granny Smith seems so much more... lively! How does that work?” Twilight went on.

“Your mind... it's like a self-contained library. Over the years, it collects more and more information and stores it away, and you check out memories whenever you have to remember something, just like you check out books. But every time you take one out, it tends to get a little damaged. A torn cover here, a dog-eared page there... And as you get older, it gets harder and harder to keep all the information organized.”

“You're mind... is a library...” Twilight said. It seemed she was still trying to grasp the initial concept.

I continued my lecture: “Whenever somepony allows me to tap their mind like this, I try to return the favor by... tidying the place up a bit. I restore the books to a like-new condition, dust off the forgotten shelves, arrange everything systematically...” I watched on as Granny worked in the kitchen and sang an old song she seemed to have just rediscovered. It brought a smile to my face. “You'd be surprised how much a messy mind contributes to the aging process.”

“Ooo!” Granny wailed, as her knee popped out of place. She lay on the kitchen floor, her leg stuck up in the air, appearing almost crooked. I rushed over to help her up and let her stretch it back into place. She looked up at me and chuckled. “Mah mind feels clean as a whistle, but mah body's still a rusty ol' plow. Heheh.”

I smiled back, but my heart sank a little this time. “Do take it easy. There's not much I can do about that, old friend.”

“Ooo! Ooo!” It was Twilight this time, though her exclamations were not a result of pain, much to my dismay. “I know! Do me next! Do me!” And she leaned her head in toward mine. “You can know all I know about magic! And friendship! And the magic of friendship!”

She squeed. I just looked at her for a long moment. It took her a while to understand I was not interested, and she leaned back again, disheartened.

“Princess Twilight, I have been around a very long time, and in that time have made many friends. I doubt you know anything about friendship I haven't already discovered for myself.”

Her ears flopped back and she seemed to sink back into herself. At once I was trapped between delight at her deflation and shame for my own callousness. Hopefully she would be a little less annoying now, but it might not have been worth it to undermine the pride she had for the knowledge she'd acquired in her time.

I decided to move away from the subject entirely. “How about I lend you a hoof in there Granny? I have not yet recorded this recipe – I believe it is of some note. I would love to store it in the archives.”

***

Princess Twilight was still following me, but she was much quieter now, still dejected from my statements. We were headed to Rich's Barnyard Bargains, where I knew I would find Filthy Rich, grandson to Stinkin Rich. From what I learned from Granny, I was able to determine that I could get the rest of the information I wanted from the Rich family, who were the Apple family's primary customers from the earliest days of Ponyville, and even still to this day. Granny had most of the historical information I needed for the town, but Filthy Rich would have more to tell me about Ponyville's growth and economic health.

While I was grateful to have a more quiet journey now that Twilight was in her place, the guilt about how harsh I'd been was starting to wear at me. It had gotten to the point that the silence I had wanted so badly before felt awkward now.

“Look, Princess,” I began as we walked on, “I didn't mean what I said. I mean, I did mean it, but I didn't mean to be so mean.” When I looked back at her, she was looking up at me with an eyebrow raised. I sighed. “I know you're just trying to help. But you're not the first pony to control the Elements of Harmony. I have plenty of historical context, I know what the Elements can do, how they're activated, what they mean. Much has been written on the subject.”

“But I couldn't find anything in the library on the Elements of Harmony when I was first trying to find out about them,” Twilight protested. “I just assumed the knowledge had been lost.”

“Knowledge is never lost,” I assured her. “It is eternal. Facts don't die, just the ponies who know those facts. You know that my library is the greatest archive of knowledge there is, of course, and you know that literally all knowledge is held there. But I don't think you understand it.”

When I looked back at her after saying this, her cheeks were flushed pink and she was scowling at me.

“I'm not calling you stupid,” I clarified. “There's a difference between knowing the actual number of stars in the sky and truly comprehending it. Most ponies can't even understand the concept of a million, let alone ten to the twenty-seventh times a million.”

“Well if the knowledge is already there,” she said, presenting her question as if in challenge, “then why didn't Princess Celestia give it to me? Shouldn't there have been books for me to read on the subject?”

“There are,” I said, “but there's a reason you did not have access to them. Knowledge is a powerful thing, and can be very dangerous when wielded recklessly. It is often the journey we take to attain that knowledge that helps us acquire the wisdom to use it.”

Twilight seemed heartened by this. “So that means maybe the wisdom I've gained can be of use to you.”

I sighed again. “I have my own experiences, my own wisdom, with regard to friendship. And I do not have the power to instantly absorb the wisdom of others. Wisdom is a thing everypony must acquire for themselves.”

We were coming up on Rich's Barnyard Bargains now. I readjusted my wings under my saddle bag again in hopes of keeping a low profile as I headed to the office of Filthy Rich. The barnyard gates were wide open, and the whole place was bustling with busy ponies, excited to dispense of all their bits. Filthy Rich's office was in the top loft of a massive red barn, bright with fresh red paint and a meticulous garden around the corners. We got to his door which had an engraved gold plate that read “Filthy Rich, Chief Executive Officer, Rich's Barnyard Bargains, Inc”, just in case I had any doubts about where to find him (which I didn't). I retrieved my crown, necklace, and hoof armor and passed my saddle bag off to Twilight. “Please hold this for me.”

I preened my wings a bit and shook myself, trying to dislodge as much dust from the farm and trail as possible, making my coat glimmer even outside of direct sunlight. My crown stood atop my head like a brilliant flame, my other adornments themed similarly. The black diamond at the center of my necklace devoured what little light there was like a black hole, and what light did escaped glistened off the flames of my necklace and hoof armor. Once I was ready, I rapped on the door.

“You can make an appointment with my secretary at the main desk.” The stallion's deep voice was stern with annoyance.

“I shouldn't imagine I'd need one,” I called back.

“Of course you'll need an appointment.” The voice was becoming louder now and it came closer. “And if you have a problem with that, I will not hesitate to call security. I don't know who you think you are, but–”

I smiled in smug satisfaction when he opened the door and his jaw dropped, followed immediately by the rest of him as he fell to the floor to grovel at my hooves. “Oh, I know who I am. The question is, do you?”

“Of course I do, Princess Gryphyn.” The sharp shift from utter arrogance to graceful humility made Twilight do a double-take. “My apologies, I was not made aware of your arrival to town.” Still groveling, he took my hoof into his. “Please, however may I be of service to you?”

“Well, I had come here hoping to restock on some parchment and ink. But it seems like you may be too busy for me here, so I'll just be headed off then–”

He bolted to his feet. “Nonsense, I won't hear of it. Tippy!”

Though the soft lavender young mare did not materialize at his side, she arrived so quickly she may as well have. She was slender as a deer with gorgeous plum curls in her mane and tail. “Yes, Mister Rich?” Her voice was husky, and it was clear she had not been hired solely for her swiftness or utility.

“Fetch me a bundle of the finest parchment we have in stock. And ink! Be sure to grab the imported stuff that came in that shipment from Horseshoe Bay. Pronto!”

“Yes Mister Rich, right away Mister Rich,” and she galloped off at his bidding.

Filthy looked up at me with a salesman's grin, glistening white and well practiced. “While we wait – and she shouldn't be long, she's a quick little filly – is there anything else I can get for you? Cider? A salad. Anything, you name it.”

“Well I wouldn't want to be a bother, but I am here on business. I don't suppose you could help me with my data collection? That is, well, I'm only assuming you have something worth knowing.”

“Why certainly Princess.” He began heading into his office. “Right this way. Which records did you want to have a look at then? Should I make copies?”

“Oh, I don't have time for that nonsense. No, I was supposing I could just get the information directly from you.”

He did not seem to understand what I was getting at. “Uh, certainly. What did you want to know?”

“Everything.”

“Uh... where to start...”

“No need. If you don't mind, I'll just use a spell of mine.”

“Ah!” He brightened at this suggestion. “Yes, much more efficient. I like your style! Whatever you'd like to know, Princess.”

Tippy returned just in time with the parchment and ink, and I laid my horn to his forehead. I was fortunate enough to find that much of the Rich family history had been relayed to him at some point, and I was able to attain some information going back two or three generations. I repeated the process I had undergone with Granny Smith, polishing each memory indiscriminately. He would remember his wedding day and the birth of his daughter just as sharply as the multiple occasions he and his family business drove the final nail into the coffins of dozens of mom-and-pop shops within this town and beyond.

When I was finished, the result stood in stark contrast to when I cast this spell on Granny. Filthy Rich had the appearance of having aged very suddenly. His eyes had dark bags under them, his shoulders did not seem to be able to hold his own weight as they had been before, and his overall appearance was now bedraggled.

“Ugh... Glad I could be of service, Princess,” he mumbled. “Now if you'll excuse me... I don't... I'm sorry, I'm sure you need to be on your way. Please, enjoy the parchment. And ink.” Head sunk low like there were weights around his neck, he sauntered to his desk.

Tippy was bewildered by the mess of parchment she was now buried in. I began collecting the scrolls. “Thank you very much, Mister Rich. You have been so helpful.”

***

“I don't understand,” Twilight said as we left the barnyard, “Why did he look so tired? When you used that spell with Granny Smith, it was like you'd used some kind of age spell to make her feel younger. But with Mister Rich, it was like he was so much older! What happened?”

“Remember how I compared our minds to a library?” I said. “Well imagine the librarian, instead of categorizing all the new books, took the ones he didn't like or didn't feel like organizing and buried them under the floor boards. And imagine he never expanded his library shelves to accommodate all these new books. Well, if someone digs up all those books, suddenly there's a lot of things that librarian didn't want to deal with, and he has nowhere to put them all.”

We were on our way back down the path we had come, heading toward the Golden Oaks Library so that I could get my things in order before returning to collect the census records at town hall and leaving. I was back to looking like a unicorn again, wings tucked under bags and adornments hidden away. Twilight was nodding her head as if listening intently, but I was not sure how much of my extended allegory she was actually following.

“If you don't maintain all those memories, and process them and find a place for them, but instead pretend that they don't exist and your library is tidy and perfect without them, you will end up with a bigger mess to clean up later once all those skeletons come out of your closets.”

“I thought you said there were books under the floorboards.”

“It's a figure of speech. Anyway, point is, knowledge is great, but without the wisdom needed to wield it, it can destroy you.”

“So you were trying to... destroy Mister Rich?”

I balked for a moment. “Sweet Celestia, no! Filthy Rich will be fine. He just has a guilty conscience to deal with.”

“Oh. What'd he do?”

“Ah! The library at last!” I exclaimed. “I really need to get off my hooves for a moment, it's been such a busy day.” I knocked at the door and Spike let me in. I trotted into the lobby and stretched out on the floor. The smell of aged parchment and leather covers made me think of home, and for a moment I felt incredibly lonesome. Just a few more hours, I reassured myself. You'll be flying home across the ocean before you know it.

***

After dedicating about an hour to sorting through all the scrolls in my bags and trying to weasel out some space for more, I headed out to the town hall to pick up the census records. The sun was beginning to disappear into the horizon in a pool of pink haze, but Princess Luna seemed to have raised the moon early, and it was half-way up in the sky already, a pale white orb in the distance. When I got there, they were about to lock up, and the dark-maned secretary was just leaving.

“I was wondering when you'd be back,” she said. “Look, I tried to tell you before you left, but you were in such a hurry. Mayor Mare wasn't in today so the records aren't ready yet.”

“What?” I stopped in my tracks.

“That's right,” the secretary continued. “She had urgent business in Appleoosa and had to leave first thing.” She could see I was getting angry and began idly drawing circles in the ground with her hind hoof. “B-but I did start sorting through all the paperwork and getting everything in order so we'll be ready to go first thing tomorrow as soon as she gets back.” She gave me a nervous smile.

I looked at the ground for a moment, snorted, and stomped a hoof before looking back up to her. “First. Thing. Tomorrow.” I couldn't say anything more; my teeth were clamped together in fury. I just turned and left in a huff.

When I stormed back into the library, the lights came on and I screamed as several dozen ponies yelled “SURPRISE!”

“What is this nonsense?” I demanded, pawing at the ground.

“It's your Super-Special-Sundae-Surprise-Going-Away-Extravaganza!” squealed a pouncing pink pony who I could only assume was the princess' notoriously party-hard friend, Pinkie Pie. “I heard you came into town but I didn't get a chance to see you and Twilight told me you were leaving tonight and I felt bad because you didn't get a big Ponyville Welcome like everypony else gets so I thought–” she gasped “–we could at least throw you a big Ponyville Farewell party and what says farewell like a sundae so I made my Super Special Sundae Surprise or as I like to call is SSSS for everypony in Ponyville and invited them all so we can throw you a giant Going Away Extravaganza so now everypony in Ponyville is here to wish you a happy farewell on your trip home!”

Through this entire run-on sentence, I was only becoming more and more infuriated, to the point where steam was rising off my body. “I'm not going home tonight,” I managed through clenched teeth.

The pink pony gasped so sharply I hoped she would faint. But instead she just kept squealing. “I'm so excited! Now you can hang out with us tomorrow 'cause Twilight said you had lots of work to do today but you should be done by now right? Aren't ya? Aren't ya? So yeah we can party all night long and I can show you around Ponyville tomorrow and we can go to Sugarcube Corner and visit Zecora and you–”

I fell to the ground and covered my head with my hooves. “Ugh! Shut up, shut up, shut UP! You impudent little foal!” I roared, making the whole tree tremble. The whole room fell silent. A few ponies dove for cover, cowering behind furniture. I'd inadvertently slipped into the Royal Voice.

I rose, glaring at everypony around me. I regained control of my voice and continued: “I am not here to play silly pony games with you and your friends. I am here on official business. And I do not appreciate undue interference.”

“But don't you want to stay?” Princess Twilight said.

“The Centennial Census Report is still not ready. I would not stay here unless I absolutely had to.”

“Well that's okay,” she continued. “Why don't you just teleport home tonight? And in the morning you can come back and I'm sure Mayor Mare will have the report ready as soon as she can.”

“It's too long of a flight, I will have to stay here.”

“Like I said,” Princess Twilight said, rolling her eyes and smiling like she thought this whole thing was silly, “you can just teleport home.”

I wanted to burn a hole through her with my eyes.

“Don't you know how to teleport?” she said in front of the entire party. My face flushed bright red and tears stood in the corners of my eyes. “I've never heard of an alicorn who can't teleport! It's such a basic, low-level spell. You can't be serious? You really don't know–”

I couldn't listen to anymore, as the crowd began to whisper and I heard a few giggles. I turned and ran out the door, and took flight in the direction of the farm.

***

When I got to the farm house, Granny eventually answered the door. She was in her slippers and night cap. She held a firefly lamp up to my face and squinted.

I sniffed and tried to dry my eyes and cheeks. “It's me, Granny.” My voiced cracked a little, and I tried to clear it. “Can I come in?”

We laid down in front of the fireplace again. My muscles burned from the flight and despite the chill autumn night, my coat was soaked in sweat and my face still burned with fury and humiliation. I told Granny what had happened. She listen calmly and nodded as I vented about the whole ordeal. She never took her eyes off me.

When I finished, she let the silence stand for a moment, as if making sure I didn't need to say anything else, before finally speaking herself. “I'm sorry to hear you were embarrassed in front of everyone like that.”

I was starting to feel better just by telling my tale, but when she said this, it felt as though all my muscles were finally able to untwist and the tension was released.

“But what are you in such a hurry for? You've got most of your work done. Maybe Twilight and her friends are right. Maybe you should just spend some time relaxing tomorrow.”

I groaned, resting my head on the ground. “I just want to be home. And if I'm not going to be there with my family, I'd better be making good use of my time!”

“Your family?”

I looked at her for a moment. “Of course. Didn't you know?”

“No,” she said, but then she smiled. “Well congratulations! Who's the lucky stallion? Tell me all about him!”

I laughed. “I completely forgot! We'd sent you a wedding invitation, but it was in the middle of Zap Apple season and I never heard back from you. You didn't at least get our invitation?” I asked, even though I knew she hadn't.

“No, I'm completely in the dark on this one.”

So I told her about Prince Eirik, how we'd met in Reinkjavik at one of the griffon duel festivals. He was one of the few ponies who had entered the competition and was big enough to give the griffons a run for their money. I was infatuated with him from the moment I laid eyes on him, watching from my royal balcony. His bronze coat shone bright in the summer sun and he fought with the intensity of a great warrior, as if he'd been one through many lifetimes. His mane and tail were black with bright green streaks in them, and both were left in long braids. Even his thick beard was braided. Few knew much about him, though he was an official in the town courts. What they did know was that he came from a land east of the island, across the ocean. He had a set of silver scales on his flank, and all knew him to be utterly rational and supremely just. The more I learned about him, the more excited I became.

After he'd won most of the games at the festival, I called him up to my balcony to meet him. He was honorable, gracious, and as fierce in intelligence as he was in combat. We hit it off immediately.

“We've been together ever since,” I told her. “And very recently we had a son together, Fiver. Oh, Granny, I wish you could meet him. He's got a silver coat as bright as ours, has an appetite for books as voracious as mine and is as brave as his father.”

“Good gravy girl, you left out all the juicy parts!” Granny said.

“Ew, come on!”

She laughed, and for a moment she almost sounded like a filly again. “Well thank you for bringing me up to speed. No wonder you're in such a hurry to get home. You must be so homesick.”

I sighed. “Yeah, it's been getting to me lately. I was really hoping I could have my business wrapped up today and head home tonight.”

“But you do, for the most part,” she said. “Except for the census report, you don't have anything else you need to get done, right?”

“It's like I said though, if I'm going to be away from my family, I'd better be making good use of my time. There are still lots of places I can go to collect extra data.”

“I don't think your family would begrudge you if you had a little fun for a day,” Granny insisted. “Besides, I'd think they'd like to see you let your mane down and enjoy yourself a bit. Don't work yourself so hard. Who knows? Maybe you'll learn even more by just experiencing the town and making friends here.”

She may have been right, and I was almost ready to concede entirely, but I still didn't want to make a bunch of friends here. Though that was a difficult subject to broach with Granny. We were very good friends, and she was getting to that age all ponies get to where I wished we weren't so close anymore, when their imminent death becomes something I can no longer ignore.

“And I think perhaps you should tell Twilight why you're in such a hurry to get home,” Granny continued. “If she knew how much you missed your family, I'm sure she'd understand better. Just be honest with her.”

I rested my head on my hooves and shivered. The fire had dried my flank, but the cool midnight air was beginning to bite.

“I'll bring you a blanket,” she said as she rose to fetch it. “You can sleep here tonight. I'm sure the girls will want to apologize in the morning.”

I do not remember her bringing the blanket, as I fell asleep before she returned.

Day 2: Surplus Data

The first thing I woke up to was the smell of Granny's apple fritters baking for breakfast. The next thing that got me up was a knock and a familiar voice muffled by the thick wood door.

“Princess! I just want to apologize. Please let me in.”

I could see Granny watching me from the kitchen.

I sighed and wiped the sleep from my eyes. My eyelids still burned from last night's tears, but otherwise I felt refreshed. I went to the door and let Princess Twilight in.

Much to my dismay, she wasn't alone. She brought the whole Friendship posse: Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash. My embarrassment from the night before rushed back to my cheeks anew.

“I'm really, really sorry,” Princess Twilight began to plead. “I didn't mean to humiliate you in front of all those ponies like that.”

“You must have felt awful,” Fluttershy piped in soothingly. “I know if that were me, I wouldn't have come out of my house for days.”

“And it probably didn't help there were so many ponies around,” Rainbow Dash went on. “Twilight even told us you liked your privacy and wanted to keep a low profile.”

“Though I can't imagine why,” Rarity chimed in. “You have the most fabulous coat in all of Equestria, and that crown–” Applejack kicked her in the knee and she winced.

“What she means to say,” Applejack interrupted, still scowling at her, “is that we should have said something when Pinkie Pie wanted to throw a party, and respected your need for privacy.”

“Thank you,” I said, nodding to each of them, “I really appreciate it, I do.”

“I was just so surprised that you couldn't... you know...” Twilight said. “And even if you can't, I don't understand why you're in such a hurry. I understand you're probably tired from your tour, but why don't you just take this opportunity for a little rest and relaxation? We'd be happy to show you around.”

“I'll even take you to the spa,” Rarity said, rearing up a bit in delight. “My treat!”

“It's not just the exhaustion,” I told them. “I'm also quite homesick. I miss my family. I miss my little foal.” I didn't have to explain too much, and though none of these mares were mothers themselves, they were able to sympathize with my separation anxiety. Though I don't think they fully understood how deeply I felt it. They started telling me stories about when they'd been away from home and how they'd felt home sick and what they did to deal with it. I smiled and nodded patiently, but knew they wouldn't be able to fully comprehend my lonesomeness.

“I didn't mean any disrespect,” Pinkie Pie told me finally. “I just wanted you to meet everypony and feel welcomed. I didn't realize you'd be such a Cranky Doodle about it.”

I looked at her quizzically, not sure if I should be insulted.

She realized her mistake. “Er, my friend, Cranky Doodle Donkey. He's just like you. He just likes to be left alone. You'd get along great! Maybe we can visit him today!”

I rolled my eyes. “Thank you for your understanding. I know I've been quite irritable since I've gotten here, and I'm sorry I haven't been more receptive to your hospitality.”

“It's all right Princess,” Applejack said, tipping her hat again. “How about we have some breakfast here and we'll show you around just like we promised. That is, if you're feelin' up to it.”

“I think I'll take you up on that offer.”

***

The first place I wanted to visit was Zecora's cottage in the Everfree Forest. I rarely had occasion to meet zebras, though I knew plenty about them in general.

On the way out there, Twilight trotted alongside me. I could tell she wanted to ask me something. “Whatever you want to ask, go ahead,” I told her.

“So why can't you – I mean, if you don't mind my asking – why can't you teleport? You must know the spell.”

“I know this is going to be hard for you to understand, seeing how you can pretty much learn any kind of magic,” I began, “but like everyone else, my magic is limited by my special talent. It does not serve me the way it may serve others'.”

“How?” Twilight asked. “It's awfully useful for anypony.”

“Sure,” I continued, “it might make travel easier, but there's a lot to learn on the journey and I would be doing myself a disservice if I skipped my flights over open land and sea. Just like you weren't handed all the knowledge of friendship all at once, I wouldn't learn as much from the journey if I simply teleported constantly.”

“So you do know the spell then.”

“Of course I do.”

“You just choose not to use it.”

“No, I simply can't do it. Trust me, I've tried.”

“But I don't see why not.”

“Magic's funny that way,” I said. “But of course, you know that.”

We arrived at Zecora's home and strange smells of various herbs and concoctions wafted from her opened door. The mohawked zebra greeted us, “Who is this strange pony from far, far away? Wipe off your hooves, for a while you must stay!”

Twilight and her friends introduced me to Zecora. She let me browse her library, and when I noticed that some of the books were hand-written, I asked about her various home-brewed potions.

“A passion for brews I've had a long time, just like my passion for poems and rhyme!”

“I don't suppose you'd mind if I had these journals of yours?”

“These books you desire will surely make you smart, and for me all these recipes are known by heart.”

“Well better yet, perhaps you can keep your notebooks.” I explained to her the spell I wanted to perform, and she was happy to oblige, even excited by the prospect.

“I'll be happy to help with your library, a good collection requires many fine recipes. And I must admit, I would like to see, my potions used well into the next century!”

When we left the Everfree Forest, I had a new bundle of scrolls with more details about Zecora's recipes than were even in the notebooks, and bonus material about the land from whence she'd come.

Our next stop was a visit to Sugarcube Corner (on Pinkie Pie's insistence, probably due to an acute case of hypoglycemia). There I met Mr. and Mrs. Cake, who shared with me the ins and outs of their business. While they talked, Pinkie Pie played peek-a-boo with Pumpkin and Pound, the Cake's twin foals. I watched on, distracted momentarily by a warm longing to be with my own foal, who was not much older than they were. The homesickness that had been fading into the background with my immersion in discussion swept over me again with a vengeance.

Needless to say, we did not stay long.

Our next stop, as Rarity had promised, was a visit to the spa. On our way there, she told me all about her fashion line, current styles, big names... boring, gossipy information, but valuable none-the-less. She introduced me to Aloe and Lotus, proprietors of the business, as if I were some trophy she had just won. I wondered for a moment if Twilight had this problem with her, or if this was simply a matter of my foreign allure.

Whilst receiving a pony pedi and wearing cucumbers over my eyes, Aloe and Lotus told me much about their travels around the world, and even of their homeland. By the end of the treatment, I felt refreshed and enlightened.

It was Fluttershy who suggested we visit Cloudsdale to see the weather factory, but it was Rainbow Dash who insisted on it. This was where the group began to part ways, as Rarity and Applejack had some work to catch up on, and the Cakes needed Pinkie Pie to foalsit for the afternoon. As Twilight, the two pegasi and I made our flight up there, Rainbow Dash filled me in on some Wonderbolts trivia (again, boring, but valuable), and then bragged about her performance in the Wonderbolts Academy. I received a full tour of the weather factory's facilities, and had to borrow more ink from Twilight mid-tour.

Rainbow Dash bid us farewell, and by the time we got our hooves back on the ground Fluttershy quietly excused herself, saying that she had to feed the animals. I was again left with Twilight's company, and the friendly interactions throughout the day had given her clinginess a new resurgence. She beamed at me as Fluttershy made her way home.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“How did you like them?” she asked. “They're a wonderful group of friends. I'm so lucky to have them.”

I gave her a half-smile and a raised eyebrow. “Sure.”

“Do you still think I have nothing to offer the archives?” She wiggled her forehead at me.

“I sure hope Mayor Mare has completed those census reports by now,” I said, looking off into the distance at the colors of the sunset bleeding into the horizon. “I'm going to be livid if they're not, and it won't be pretty.”

Twilight huffed, but continued trotting along anyway. “I'm sure it's fine. You'll be with your stallion and foal before you know it.”

Sure enough, when we arrived at the town hall, Mayor Mare was pacing in front of the door with a saddlebag full of scrolls. I'd never seen a pony sweat so much outside of a marathon. When she saw me, she bowed so quickly I was surprised she didn't make a divot in the ground.

“My apologies, your Highness,” she said. “Had I known you were to visit, I'd have put the Appleoosa visit off until another time. I sincerely regret delaying your travels.”

“Don't even mention it,” I told her. Truth be told, I was still a little annoyed about the situation, but I was trying to move on. “You've completed the census, I presume?”

“It's all right here.” She passed the saddle bag over too me, and I began trying to fit them into my already overstuffed bags. I had to put my adornments back on to try and make more space, but even then I struggled. I hadn't realized how much new data I'd collected while out and about during the day; I'd done it so passively, it hardly felt like I'd worked at all.

“By all means,” she said as she watched me struggle, “take the whole thing. It's yours.” She bowed again for good measure.

“Oh good, thank you,” I said.

“I'd like to apologize, again, for the poor reception to your visit,” she went on. “I wanted to organize a banquet in your honor, but we were so busy completing these reports for you and trying to get them done in time, if only–”

“Please, that's not necessary,” I insisted, a nervous laughter springing from me.

“Oh! I know! I will deliver a speech for your departure!”

“Really, that's not–”

But before I could stop her, she climbed up to a podium conveniently placed in front of the town hall. “Citizens of Ponyville!”

“She really likes speeches,” Twilight whispered to me behind a hoof.

“Ugh.”

I was disappointed to see she only had to say it once before a crowd of curious ponies had gathered in front of the town hall. Even Twilight's friends were there.

“Today we say farewell to our new friend, Princess Gryphyn Bloodheart, come from far away to fulfill her royal duties. It has been a pleasure making her acquaintance, and an honor to be asked to assist her in her task. We are saddened to see her go, and hope that we will not have to wait so long for her next visit.”

The crowd of ponies cheered and stomped their hooves, creating a flurry of cacophony and dust. I wanted to wait until the crowd dissipated, but I did not want to wait so long that Mayor Mare had a chance to come and grovel again. I adjusted the saddlebags across my back and stretched my wings. “Well, Princess, it's been a pleasure.” But she looked dejected, and pawed idly at the ground, and it did not seem that she was simply going to miss me.

“I just don't understand,” she said. “I've been studying so hard for so long. I want to contribute something to the archives too!”

“But you already have,” I told her. She was puzzled, and I scoffed. “I've already been to visit Celestia, remember? She shared with me all your letters and reports. You're already in there!”

“Oh!” she said. This seemed to raise her spirits. “But there's really nothing else I can offer?”

“Twilight, you still have plenty to learn about friendship,” I said, trying to sound encouraging. I frowned, and stared off through her. “Some of those things, you will only learn with the passage of time.”

She ruminated on my words as I took to the sky. “Farewell, Princess, I'm sure our paths are bound to cross again.”

“Say hi to your family for me!” she called up to me, waving.

As she and her friends and all the ponies of Ponyville faded to little specks in the distance, I thought to myself, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad, being friends with Twilight. She was, after all, an alicorn now, and would live as long as me. I felt like it had been so long since I'd spent time with good friends, I'd forgotten how enjoyable it could be, and the day I'd spent with Twilight and her friends had truly been a pleasure.

***

I glided along the river that ran adjacent to the town before swooping east over the treetops of the Everfree Forest, so thick they cut off most sunlight. A number of mysterious chirps and roars echoed up to me, and I made a game of identifying each as I flew over. Soon I could see the jagged slopes of Rambling Rock Ridge to my right, and further into the distance were the Foal Mountains to my left. I then connected with the Friendship Express tracks and followed them for many miles, the scenery remaining mostly the same. I was making good time to the city, but I could feel myself beginning to tire, and a yawn crept up on me. I knew I would have to rest for a while before trying to cross the ocean, so I grounded just outside of Fillydelphia and rested in a clearing in the forest.

When I awoke, night had crept in, and not even the moon showed its face, hidden by excessive cloud cover. The lights of Fillydelphia glowed in the distance as life bustled on there, and I took to the sky again and flew over, looking down at the towering skyscrapers that seemed to have sprouted since my last visit. I made straight for the ocean and set my course due east, yonder to griffons. The further over the open ocean I headed, the darker it became, until all I could see was blackness in all directions. It went on like this for what felt like an eternity, and if it weren't for the shushing of the waves below, the sound of wind in my mane, and the crisp, salty air, I might have begun hallucinating from sensory deprivation. I remembered again how boring this leg of my journey always was, and began regretting not bringing escorts like most other princesses did for long flights like this. I didn't like using my escorts if I didn't have to though; griffons can be very sensitive about what kind of labor you ask of them, and they don't always like serving pony royalty. Any time I use my royal escorts, they tend to be more of a drag than anything else, so I try to avoid it.

Just as I was starting to get fidgety, I could finally see the pale light of Reinkjavik just on the horizon, and the sun peeking up behind it. I beat my wings and picked up speed, eager to see my family again. As I sped closer, I could see the griffons in the harbor taking notice of me, and one of them rushed back into town. By the time I was close enough to see the faces of the citizens there to greet me on the dock, Prince Eirik had just galloped up to the harbor with Fiver riding on his back, clinging to the braids in his mane like they were reins. The familiar reek of the fish market struck my nostrils, and I knew I was home. Eirik and I fell into an embrace, nuzzling each others' necks. Fiver, who had grown so much in the time I'd been gone, hugged my muzzle and would not let go. And neither did I want him to.

Author's Note:

Please do not downvote my story just because the main character is an OC alicorn princess. Read it in full and give it a fair chance. If you don't like OC alicorns on principle, just don't vote at all.

Comments

[Daring Deux]

I have mixed feelings about this story. On one hand, the story seems to be about an alicorn OC, and treads Mary Sue-ish water (mostly just in how the OC character enters the picture and immediately becomes the center of attention). On the other hand you have written at least 10x more (and thus, in my thinking put 10x more thought and effort into it) than a typical "alicorn oc" story, and your description caught my eye and was written well. The conflict's premise is interesting, and your characterization is very solid, at least as far as the canon characters are concerned.

Your grammar is very solid, as well. The only error I noticed repeatedly is in regards to referring to a character directly as you speak to them; when you do this the name is always treated as parenthetical and thus always takes commas on either side (The example that kept coming up was when ponies referred to Gryph as "Princess"). Now, as far as your writing style is concerned, well, I found it somewhat prosaic, if I'm being honest with you. I think it has a lot to do with your use of the first person perspective; I think the story doesn't benefit from that choice in the slightest.

As long as I'm being honest here, I think the weakest part of the story is actually Gryph herself; strange, considering she's clearly the entire point of the story. She feels like Twilight 2.0, except even more Sue-ish. Twilight came to Ponyville being the personal student of Princess Celestia; Gryph came to Ponyville being a foreign princess and "Princess of Knowledge, Keeper of the Flame...". I also found it extremely unpleasant to read how Gryph thought so little of the fundamental parts of the show, and took credit for others (Elements of Harmony and Granny Smith finding the Zap Apples, respectively). What flaws Gryph DOES have don't serve to equinize her or make her more relatable, they just grate on the reader's nerves. Whereas Twilight came off as anti-social and thought very little of friendship, Gryph comes off as a holier-than-thou and thinks very little of seemingly everything.

Because of the concerns above, I'm going to give you downvote. I wish you the best of luck with the story, though. Your writing is not bad, and I think if you wrote something else, you'd receive more positive attention.

Cheers,

-Comrade

[Mayhem Darkshadow]

Okay so we generally don't do this but I want to point out that I reviewed this for Twilight's Library. I unfortunately had to reject it. Im not going to explain why right here but rather tell you to go read the rejection post I made about it (go to forum and its under rejected incoming fanfics). As I said we generally don't take the time to tell authors there fic has been rejected in a comment but a lot of the time people dont read our rejection posts. I really want you to read what I said because it might help you make this story work in your favor

[Princess Gryph]

3114667
I replied in the thread, thank you for your feedback.

I knew I'd get flak for the alicorn OC thing, but if that's the main reason for it being rejected, I do not have any plans of changing her. Though again, I appreciate you taking the time to read and give me your honest feedback.

[Princess Gryph]

3114550
As far as the Mary Sue-ish aspect of being the "center of attention", I felt, given her role, that was pretty much unavoidable. Though we have not yet seen the general town's response to Cadence or Twilicorn, they have been seen treating Equestrian royalty like, well, royalty. Only way I can think to balance that out would be to have her tucking her wings and not wearing her adornments from the get-go, which might be a good idea, seeing how she wants to keep a low profile and she's done this like a million times, so it would seem she'd have at least that much foresight. I might go back and revise that.

You are probably right in that the writing is very dry, and that can be attributed directly to Gryph as the first-person narrator. Were it in third person, it would probably be a more enjoyable read, or even if it were from the perspective of Twilight or Granny. However, were I to write that it would be a different story entirely. And if Gryph wasn't such a bitch. Just say it: she's kind of a bitch. She is totally meant to be holier-than-thou. And if you hate her for it, that's okay. I just see it as a direct consequence of her particular field of expertise. If you've ever known anyone who has a really high IQ or is recognized as above-and-beyond in intelligence, you know what I'm talking about. She is literally a know-it-all. I can see how that might edge a little too far into Mary Sue territory for some people, but again, I can't do much to change who she is. (Seems counterintuitive, seeing how I created her and all, but it's true.) Only thing I could do to mitigate that would be to perhaps go into a little more detail as to how she does her job, what the archives are like, and how the Flame works (this would, btw, help explain those parts where you felt Gryph was taking credit for others). Which I wanted to, but it was already getting a lot longer than I'd originally intended. But hey, at least she has more characterization than Celestia.

Thank you for taking the time to read, though, and I appreciate your thoughtful feedback. I noticed that as soon as I posted this I got a downvote, before anyone could have realistically had enough time to read the story, and I suspect that was given at the sight of an alicorn. I appreciate you reading through the whole thing and giving it a fair chance. Though if your downvote is just because you hate Gryph, I'd like to see you reconsider your vote, as she is supposed to be somewhat hateable.

[Daring Deux]

3115934

I figured from the sort of writing I was reading that most of what was there was put there deliberately. Whatever else I think of this story, I won't say it's careless or written poorly. I'd go so far as to argue that it's written better than many other stories I enjoyed much more. So, having realized this was all done on purpose still didn't help me enjoy it. I clicked on the story and read the description because I was interested in the premise of the Equestrian Census. Even once I figured it was an Alicorn OC story I gave it a chance because of a combination of interest of premise, and a certain element of faith earned from having written a good description.

For what it's worth, I respect your attitude and your writing ability. When you write the next chapter I'll give the fic another shot and reevaluate my decision to downvote.

[Princess Gryph]

3116006

AHAHAA "Next Chapter", that's cute, but no. This was a one-time thing, just a one shot. I rarely do fanfics. Ever. This is maybe the third I've written in a lifetime of writing. I only wrote it because it was itching to be written, and I was trying to stretch my muscles a bit to get back into writing. I might consider going into more detail about the Flame and Reinkjavik and such if there's a demand for it, but it's doubtful. Or if I end up with a head full of headcannon like I did this time, which is more likely. Besides that, I'm hesitant to go on fleshing out a griffon homeland until we see what the writers give us in Season 4. I'm trying to keep my fic as cannon as possible and want to do as little retcon-ing as possible.

But thank you for at least recognizing good proofreading. It took a lot more time than I intended to put this story together :p

[Bradel]

3115934

Just say it: she's kind of a bitch. She is totally meant to be holier-than-thou. And if you hate her for it, that's okay. I just see it as a direct consequence of her particular field of expertise. If you've ever known anyone who has a really high IQ or is recognized as above-and-beyond in intelligence, you know what I'm talking about. She is literally a know-it-all. I can see how that might edge a little too far into Mary Sue territory for some people, but again, I can't do much to change who she is.

...based on this, I've got to assume you don't have a lot of experience with people who have really high IQs. Or, for that matter, psychometrics—since intelligence and personality constructs (other than openness) have very low correlations.

I'm not going to let that comment impact my reading of the story, but nonetheless, I thought it deserved a response...

[Princess Gryph]

3119307

I actually know a couple people who are like this; maybe my friends are just jerks. :p