Snowflame's Cocaine and/or Coffee Fueled Misadventures in Equestria (Comment Driven Story)

by KenSES64

Obito of the Eastern Republic of What (8)

Snowflame and the Pink Pony take him to her room.
Mr. Oboe isn't waking up quick enough. Snowflame should throw coffee in his face to wake him up. Or he could use his bracelet to share his god with his frenemy. The doctor said it was a once day use for him, but not for sharing with others.
When he wakes up, the Pink Pony and Snowflame interrogate him and have a spotlight pointed directly into his face. Surprisingly, Snowflame is the good cop in the good cop/bad cop scenario as Pinkie interrogates him like this

Obito wasn't waking up, so Snowflame and Pinkie unchained him from the tree, took him to Pinkie's room, rechained him to a chair, and pointed a lamp at him, waiting for him to wake up.

Since he was taking to long, Snowflame decided to stop waiting, so he took off Obito's mask, he had a scar down the side of his right cheek, and threw a cup of nice hot coffee in his face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Obito screamed, as his face was being burned.

"Where is he?! Where's Scarecrow?!" Snowflame shouted in a gruff voice.

"W-What?" Obito asked.

"Who hired you to kill Snowflame?" He asked dropping the voice.

"What?"

"What country are you from?"

"What? What? Wh - ?"

"What ain't no country Snowflame's ever heard of. They speak English in What?!"

"What?"

"English, motherfucker, do you speak it?!"

"Yes! Yes!"

"Then you know what I'm sayin'!"

"Yes!'

"Describe what the guy who hired you looked like!"

"What?"

Snowflame got up to Obito's face. "Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Cocaine damn time!"

"H-H-He's was wearing a hood."

"Go on!"

"I couldn't see his face."

"Does he look like a bitch?!"

"What?"

Snowflame punchs him in the face with a flaming fist, "Does. He. Look. Like. A. Bitch?"

"I don't know!"

"Then why are you trying to fuck him like a bitch Obito?"

"I didn't!"

"Yes you did! Yes you did Obito! You tried to fuck him. And the guy who hired you don't like to be fucked by anybody except Mrs. the guy who hired you. You read the Bible, Obito?"

"I don't know what that is!"

"Well, there's this passage Snowflame's got memorized, sorta fits the occasion. Ezekiel 25:17? "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

` "Let me try this." Pinkie said. "Where's the bat?"

"What is this about? Who are you?" Obito asked.

"Vere is ze bat?" Pinkie asked again.

"I have no idea what you're taking about."

"Last chance!" She shouts before holding up a knife, "Where is that darn bat?"

"What are you going to do?" Obito asked, sounding scared.

"Whatever I have to, to get some answers." She then places the knife down on a plate with a fork, and she started to scrap them violently, making a horrible sound.

"Stop! Stop that! Stop!"

"You would like me to stop wouldn't yah, hm? Getting to yah? Hmmmm?"

"I won't tell anything."

"Oh a tough guy huh? I know what to do with tough guys." Pinkie knocks over Obito's chair and started touching her own eyeball.

"NNNOOOOOO! My brother used to do that to me! Oh you're sadistic! Stop it! Stop it! I'll talk!"

"Spill it!"

"Some guy wearing a black cloak I met at Canterlot train station hired me. I don't know who he is, or what he has against Snowflame!"

"So you don't know who wants Snowfy dead?"

"No! I'm just an assassin."

"Okay." Pinkie exclaimed bouncing off.

Snowflame walked up and said, "So, Canterlot? Looks like Snowflame's making a trip. Not today though. Snowflame needs to get ready." Snowflame begain to walk out of the room.

"Snowfy wait!" Pinkie exclaimed, "What do you want to do with him."

"Snowflame doesn't care as long as it doesn't involve a certain fanfic." Snowflame looks at the readers and says, "No! None of that! Shame on you!"
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Snowflame walks into a room and everything is dead silent, all eyes are upon him as looks into the room with the most serious face he has shown. Everyone now is pondering what brought this on as he turns his back to the group and shouts with the fury of a god" Has anyone seen my butt cheeks? " Bloody things fell off again."

Ten minutes later, Snowflame returned home to see Lyra sitting on the couch, in her regular, human-like manner.

"Hey, Snowflame. How was your day?" The aqua colored mare asked.

"Well Snowflame, met up with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, jumped over a park bench, met a zebra, accidentally blew up her hut, landed at the rainbow pony's house, got some rainbow hot sauce, made pizza with the dragon, met the most popular background pony, went back in time to Discord's rule, he gave me a band that puts cocaine right into my body, then when Snowflame came back to this time, somepony attacked Snowflame. Snowflame and the pink pony interrogated him to find out why. Long story short, Snowflame will be heading to Canterlot tomorrow."

Lyra just blinked a few times and said in an unsure tone, "Okaaaaay."

Snowflame walked into his room to pack, but not long after, Lyra heard him shout, "Where are Snowflame's butt checks? They... Oh, Nevermind!"
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Name: Lyra Heartstrings

Strenght: 4

Speed: 5

Intelligence: 5

Lyre Playing Talents: 8

Human Obsession: 10
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Meanwhile on the ranch in the castle...

At the Palace, the Princesses and the Doctor confront Discord about his drug problem, which he denies and claims that they all have drug problems.

When they find Discord, have him playing lawn darts with swordfishes

The Doctor, Ditzy Do, and the Princesses walked outside to the statue garden that ironically held the draconequus they were looking for.

They fond him throwing a swordfish into a dartboard, getting a bulls eye. He looks at them and asked, "What?"

"Hello Discord, I'm..." The Doctor began to say.

"Yes, yes, I know who you are. The Doctor, the last of the time lords, from the planet of Gallopfrey." Discord said.

"Do you know why I'm here?"

"Nope, not at all." Discord says, throwing another swordfish.

"It's about when we traveled with a human known as Snowflame. You ate a band of cocaine, and it seems to be what drove you mad. So we want to try to remove it."

"No." Discord simple said.

"No? I want to help you."

"Yeah, help me lose my creativity. The day I ate that band is the day I started having true fun. Yes, it did make me lose my country to Tia and Lu-Lu over there, but the deal we have right now is working well for me, so yeah, no."

The Doctor lifts up the sonic screwdriver, pointing it at Discord, who just laughs.

"You really think that'll do anything to me?" Discord asked before snapping his fingers.

The sonic screwdriver seemed to turn off. The Doctor looked at it seeming it wiggle a bit.

"Y-You turned it to rubber!" The Doctor exclaimed.

"Don't ya hate it when your screwdriver goes limp?" Discord said, before laughing again. "I'm bored with you two." He said before snapping his fingers, making them disappear."

"Discord, what did you do?" Celestia asked sternly.

"I just sent them back to Ponyville, and nothing else." Discord his lion paw behind his back, and crossed two fingers.
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Back in Ponyville...

Derpy looked around and said, "Well that didn't go as expected. Right Doctor?"

The Doctor looked at her, confused, "I'm not a doctor. I don't even know who you are."

"What?"

"My names Time Turner, what's yours."

"W-What? I.... What?!"
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Name: "Time Turner"

Stats

Strenght: 3

Speed: 6

Intelligence: 7

Awesomeness: 2

Time Travel Expience: 0
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Meanwhile...

Prince Bloodblue, to his dismay, was taken to Flappy Bob's Peppy Happy Mental Resort. He still didn't think he needed to be there, but figured that if he did nothing wrong then they would sure let him out, and then he would get revenge on those Celestia damn squares.

At the insane asylum, Blueblood should run into a pony version of the disco dance guy from Phantasmagoria 2 (44:07)

Though the second he walked in he saw a white earth pony stallion with a unkempt brown mane and tail, a goatee, and what looked like a taco salad for a cutie mark, he was also shouting, "Disco dance! Disco dance! Disco dance!"

'Oh this is going to be fun.' Blueblood thought sarcastically.
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And Now A Public Service Announcement From SNOWFLAME!

"Hello, Snowflame here. Snowflame's going to be serious here for a second. Last chapter, our author KenSES64, only had one comment to work with to make this chapter. He even made a blog post about it. So, please leave comments because without them, this story will have a hard time moving forward. Thank you."

This Has Been A Public Service Announcement From SNOWFLAME!

Comments

[Eternal Infernape]

THE NEXT DAY....
Snowflame goes to Canterlot. He flies, because trains are slow and are for pussies.
Back at the resort/mental hospital Blueblood is at...
"How could have this have happened to me? ME!? I'm a prince, for Celestia's sake!"
"Some prince you are." Blueblood hears a voice, but there is nopony there.
"Who goes there!?"
Ghost Infernape appears. "Hi."
(I'm hoping to include the ghost nappa joke.)

[awesome brony]

Le next day
Snowflame goes to Canterlot while riding a gaint flying Duck he found.
Once he arrives to canterlot the Duck flies away and poops at the nobles on his way.
Meanwhile at the mental hospital Bluebloods at.
Blueblood and that Disco guy found a map.

[BrownDog77]

Snowflame get's ready for his trip, which means he just wakes up because he only has one outfit. He grabs a rubber ducky and puts it in his pocket, in case he gets into an unexpected bath situation (It could happen!).

The train going to Canterlot is going too slow so he jumps off it while it's moving and runs way faster than it, making the train conductor's jaw drop.

Back at the Bakery, Pinkie continues her Inquisition by asking Obito a million questions like what his favorite color is, why he's an assassin (and how she thinks that's wrong) and why he doesn't do something that makes ponies happy instead of dead. She get's it in her mind to reform him and make him a hot dog vendor. Obito will eventually develop Stockholm Syndrome by being her hostage after the questions, baked goods and songs break his mind.

At the Palace, the sisters still try to get Discord to give up his drug use, but instead he decides to let them see it's power for themselves and chases them around the garden with a Cocaine Band.

Back in Ponyville, Derpy tries to convince "Time Turner" that he knows her since they've been traveling together for three years. Time Turner has some recognition way back in the depths of his mind, but he interprets them that he's been dating her for three years and must've hit his head or something and forgotten. Derpy thinks about denying it, but then lies and says that yes they're dating. They then go to lunch, she'll turn him back eventually, but she decides to take advantage of the situation at hoof, when else will she ever have a chance to date him?

In the Asylum, Blueblood should run into a Ghost Nappa Like spirit, but it should be Ghost Sombra from RazortheAwesome's story.
Blueblood: Who or what are you?
Ghost Sombra: An awesome cameo crazy boy.

[Awesomedude17]

Derpy decided to try and get 'Time Turner' to Canterlot by telling Snowflame that Discord did Disco and made The Doctor lose his memories. Snowflame decides to punch him to see if it will jog his memory, but ends up knocking him out. After Derpy berates him, Snowflame exclaims, 'Snowflame, thought that would work. But Snowflame, does not care, to Canterlot, and to find Disco, because Disco is stupid!'

[Isumo1489]

Sorry about last time dude, I was seriously tired in the worst way. Anyway, I think I have a decent idea set to give you.

1.) Snowflame, after having woken up and consumed his morning coffee, heads to the train station.

2.) When asking to purchase a ticket, the vendor recognizes Snowflame, and shows him a bounty poster Blueblood set-up before he went to Pony Joes that fateful morning.

3.) Seeing that his own bounty told him who to contact for said bounty, he buys his ticket and rides the train.

4.) While on said train, he moves down the car seeing three odd ponies in a single compartment. One has ginger hair, a pale cream coat with freckles. The mare of the group has extremely bushy hair and seems to be talking rapidly about advanced magic. The third pony has black hair, a pale-white coat, and what seems to be an odd bald patch near his horn. As Snowflame passes, he hums this.

5.) After the odd sight, Snowflame finds himself face-to-muzzle with another odd character, this one with a Straw Hat and an impossibly large grin. Snowflame questions why said pony is looking at him, and said pony asks Snowflame if he has any meat. Completely confused, he says no, and the odd pony sighs before continuing down the cart.

6.) Snowflame questions why all these cameos are happening, before he hears in the distance, "Believe it". Snowflame then recalls where he is, realizing that such a question is silly.

7.) Snowflame finally arrives at Canterlot, moving towards Blueblood Manor, seeking his new...for the moment...nemesis.

8.) Upon arrival, nopony is there, not even the servants. With nothing locked, Snowflame enters, and searches the place.

9.) Aside from some tacky furniture and decorations, nothing of value, to Snowflame, is around, not even the pony he now feels like beating up.

10.) After a minor fist-slam to a bust of Blueblood, a secret passage opens, which Snowflame descends. And he finds...(To be continued...)

11.) Time Turner asks why Derpy called him a doctor, only for her to drag him back to the TARDIS, quickly calling up the computer to examine the Doctor. Scans indicate it is him, just an alternate version that had never been from Gallopfray. Needless to say, Derpy grabs a spare Screwdriver, and sets the TARDIS to his location. Meanwhile, poor Time Turner is huddled wondering what is happening, and where Derpy, his usually so kind and gentle friend/love interest, is taking him in this alien contraption.

12.) Blueblood is currently sitting on an unconscious Disco-loving pony, contemplating his eventual escape, when he is met by one of the counselors.

13.) These counselors, begin their sickening routine trying to get Blueblood to participate in the BINGO game going on, only for Blueblood to rage at them in the Royal Canterlot Voice to leave him be. (Yes, he can use that, and in his current state, quite well too.)

14.) Seeing him as a "Grumpy-Mc Grumpy Pants", the two send him to the "Time-Out-Room", also known as the sensory deprivation chamber. Given his current state, Blueblood's brimming madness will soon simmer in it's own juice, the results? ...next time...

[RazortheAwesome]

OH MY GOD ACE VENTURA REFERENCE!!!!

*all of my pinkiegasp

Anyway

When you get to Canterlot, seek out Discord and Celestia. Why? I don't know, but they may be instrumental in your plan. You do have a plan right?

Blueblood:
start singing this song.