Snowflame's Cocaine and/or Coffee Fueled Misadventures in Equestria (Comment Driven Story)

by KenSES64

Cocaine Ponies and Zebras (2)

run into either Rarity, Sweetie Belle, or Prince Blueblood
mistake their white coats for cocaine and attempt to snort it.

Find a white-coated pony and mistake their coats for cocaine, then attempt to snort it.

While thinking about this, Snowflame see's his friends the CMC. There's the fruit one, the chicken (who is trying to jump a park bench with her scooter), and the one that looks like she is covered in Snowflame's precious powder. Maybe she is! Last time Snowflame saw her it wasn't the case, but perhaps that has changed.
After Snowflame finds out that she isn't and has a good laugh with the girls, the orange chicken challenges Snowflame to jump the park bench with her. So instead, jump 50
AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

Snowflame walks around town for a little bit before he sees a certain group of energetic fillies, the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Scootaloo was on her scooter while Applebloom and Sweetie Belle set up a ramp out of a box and some plywood. Said ramp was pointing at a empty park bench.

Snowflame looked at Sweetie Belle and a though came to his mind, 'The unicorn is white like cocaine. Maybe she IS cocaine!'

"Well that looks good." Applebloom said, "Not so sure how helping Scootaloo jump this here bench will get our cutie marks, but here we darn here tried everything else."

Sweetie Belle was about to nod in agreement when she was unexpectedly lifted off the ground.

"W-What's going on?!" She shouts before looking up to see she was in the arms of Equestria's one and only human. "Oh hi Snowflame."

"Hush cocaine pony. Snowflame must snort you now!" Snowflame shouted.

"Wait what?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Snowflame then pressed his nose on Sweetie Belle back and inhaling. Yet, not getting any cocaine.

Sweetie Belle got an unamused expression on her face while her two friends burst out laughing at her expense.

Snowflame took his face off the filly stating, "You are not made of cocaine. Snowflame is disappointed." He puts Sweetie Belle back down, the other two Crusaders still laughing a little.

"Of course not! I am a normal pony!" Sweetie Belle exclaims.

Applebloom puts a hoof on Sweetie Belle and says, "Come now Sweetie Belle. Y'all can't be mad at him. He's just being Snowflame."

Sweetie Belle smiled a little and said, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Okay now that little moment is done, can I do this jump now?" Scootaloo exclaimed, ready on her scooter.

"Any time you're ready." Sweetie Belle said.

Scootaloo grinned as her wings started to flutter, making her scooter move forward and gaining speed. It wasn't long before she went up the makeshift ramp and soared over the bench, and landing with ease. She skidded to a stop, smiling triumphantly. "Aww yeah! That was awesome!" She exclaims, taking off her helmet.

Snowflame looks at the bench and backs up about 50 feet. He then starts running at then bench as fast as he could. When he reached the ramp he jumped right over the bench, and like Scootaloo on her scooter, stayed airborne for quite some time. When he landed he was a good 80 feet away from the bench.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders' jaws were just hanging at that point, but soon enough they ran to the human.

"How'd y'all do that?" Applebloom asked.

"That was amazing!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed

"It was like you were trying to jump over 50, at the same time!" Scootaloo added.

Snowflame smiles and says, "That's because Snowflame was. If someone dares you to do something, do it times 50."

The Crusaders looked at each other nervously before Scootaloo said, "Um... no offence Snowflame, but I don't think we should take your advice."

"You know, after the would Cutie Mark Crusader Supervillain thing." Sweetie Belle added.

"Besides if we did then we would have to try to get 50 cutie marks, and trust me, it's not fun." Applebloom stated.

Snowflame nodded and said, "Snowflame understands." He then turned around and added, "Snowflame will see you three fillies later.", before walking off.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Cutie Mark Crusaders

Names: Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo

Stats

Strenght: 4, 3, 4

Speed: 4, 4, 6

Intelligence: 5, 4, 5

Singing Ability:7, 10, 2

Cuteness: 10, 10, 10
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Midnight: From what I can assume from his character, I assume he would want to find a way to make cocaine.
Hey that rhymes! Way, cocaine? Well, kinda, but-
Midnight: Ahem.
Oh, right. Sorry, please continue.
Midnight: Anyways, I doubt he would succeed, given that his wisdom stat is low. Considering his insanity levels, I have no doubt that something or someone will blow up in a strange and comical fashion.

1.) Snowflame wanders around the main square, looking at various stalls.
2.) Snowflame sees the Zebra person Zecora come to one of the local flower shops, and decides to talk to her.
3.) After some verbal exchange, Snowflame's Cocaine sense tingles, and Zecora mentions her own garden in the Everfree being used to grow a Cocoa plant she received from a friend. Being who he is, Snowflame wishes to aid in this endeavor, due to Cocoa plants being the first step to re-creating Cocaine, and introducing it to his Pony friends.
4.) Zecora, never having heard of this, 'Cocaine', agrees and the two go off to her hut, where they begin seeing how they can allow the Cocoa plant to thrive...and allow Snowflame to bring his god, Cocaine, to the masses of his new world.

Snowflame really needs some true nose powder, the liquid cocaine keeps making Snowflame have to pee a lot.
Have it in Snowflame's mind to start a quest for his Great White God's true form, maybe some medicine pony (or zebra) knows the location of the cradle of life (Cocoa Plant).

Snowflame walk into the town's main square thinking to himself, 'With what just happened with the younger sister of Diamond Butt Stallion, Snowflame wonders if he can find a way to make cocaine'

He then stopped right before he walked right into a pony with some flowers, well actually it wasn't a pony. She had black and white stripes on her body, along with a black and white striped mohawk. She wore five golden rings on her front right leg and neck, along with large golden hooped earrings.

"Now who is this I have just met? I don't think I've seen anypony like you yet." The zebra said.

"Hello there rhyming zebra, I am Snowflame." Snowflame greeted

"My name is Zecora, I was just heading home with some flora." Zecora said.

"What for?"

"I have found some coca in the Everfree. It can be some use to me."

"Coca? You have coca?! Snowflame can bring cocaine to the ponies!"

"I know not of this cocaine. Do you mind telling me about it Snowflame?"

"Lets walk to the plants while Snowflame tells you."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Five minutes later in the Everfree Forest...

"So from this cocaine it is powers you gain." Zecora says.

"Yes, and even though coffee does the trick, it'd be nice to have my god again." Snowflame says.

The two reached Zecora's hut and stepped inside.

"So what else to we need to make the thing of your creed?"

Snowflame shrugged and said, "Snowflame isn't sure. Snowflame used to have other people make it."

Zecora sighed, "Well testing with a plant can be fun, excuse while I get the coca for I have none."

Zecora left her hut and within a few seconds Snowflame was looking around her hut. Snowflame found a bottle with some green liquid inside.

"Huh, Snowflame wonders what this is." Snowflame says as he reaches for it, but it slips away from him and crashes on the hut's floor.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zecora was in the middle of picking the coca plant when a loud explosion made her jump. Not long after she saw the human she just met being sent flying in the air shouting, "Looks like Snowflame is blasting off agian!"

Zecora just stood there dumbfounded.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Names:Zecora

Stats

Strenght: 5

Speed: 5

Intelligence: 8

Potion Making: 10

Rhyming Skills: 10
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So Snowflame is now flying through the air. Where will he land?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5.) Blueblood begins plotting, secretly trying to find out information on Snowflame at a place of ill repute...IE: Doughnut Joe's Doughnut shop. After all, a noble like him would find such a commoner's practice damaging to his image should he be recognized there.
6.) His comments and 'subtlety' get him thrown out in a comical fashion, with him landing in whatever substance would be most appropriate so long as he wails about his coat afterwards.

Meanwhile in Canterlot...

Prince Blueblood, dressed in his hooded robe entered the most vile place he could think of. A commoner's doughnut shop. 'Thank Auntie Celestia I have this robe. Imagine what the press would say if they saw me with my coat like this, let alone in this place.' He though.

"Welcome to Doughnut Joe's" The pony behind the counter greeted. He was an off-white unicorn with a brown mane and green eyes. He was wearing a white shirt and hat, and his cutie mark was of a pink-frosted doughnut. He got a look of Blueblood in his robe and gained an expression of slight confusion. "You realize that Nightmare Night isn't until the end of October right?"

"Oh ha ha." Blueblood commented, walking up to the counter.

"What would you like sir?"

"I have no plans to partake in this commoner's crap, let alone actually pay for it."

Doughnut Joe's eyes narrowed a bit, "I'll have you know my doughnuts are of the highest quality."

"Oh please from a place a filthy as this, there's no way there's even a thing of high quality to you."

"I just cleaned the shop!"

"Now you have no need to shout at me, just because you were doomed to never make it far in life thanks to your cutie mark, you don't have to take it out on me."

Doughnut Joe's horn lit up with a green arua that soon was around the cloaked pony, and within two seconds the prince was sent right though the front door.

"And stay out!" Doughnut shouted.

Blueblood landed onto the asphalt outside. He stood up with a huff, "Well that was rude. I guess I'll have to look elsewhere."

Author's Note:

Well here is my first time writing for Zecora. I hope it doesn't suck.

Comments

[RazortheAwesome]

Wherever Snowflame lands make sure it leads to some kind of awkward situation.

Now for my actual advice:
REMEMBER SNOWFLAME!!! REMEMBER!!!
REMEMBER YOUR GOD!! REMEMBER HOW YOU TAUGHT THE OTHER HUMANS ABOUT ME!!! REMEMBER THAT IT WAS YOU WHO BROUGHT IT TO THEM!!!! YOU MAY NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE THE COCAINE YOURSELF, BUT YOU KNOW HOW TO BRING IT TO OTHERS, AND FROM THAT, YOU'VE WATCHED OTHER PEOPLE MAKE IT!!! REMEMBER SNOWFLAME, REMEMBER!!!!!!

Then after this revelation hits you, you wake up in said awkward situation.

[Awesomedude17]

Suddenly, Deadpool. This angers Snowflame, and they fight. And then Vodka appears, and the two decide to ignore it and leave each other.

[BrownDog77]

Snowflame lands in Rainbow Dash's rainbow swimming pool in her cloud house (How can he walk on clouds? Because he's Snowflame!).
Snowflame then must taste the rainbow pool, it must taste like skittles. It's a bit spicy, but it doesn't burn nearly as good as Cocaine.

Snowflame then sees Rainbow Dash doing something embarrassing and out of character (Maybe she's trying on a fancy dress)

Snowflame says: "Rainbow Dash always dresses in style" and laughs at his joke.

Rainbow Dash in thoroughly embarrassed and screams in rage at Snowflame and tells him to leave

Snowflame shrugs, says goodbye then does a cannonball into the lake below Rainbow's house, the water goes so high it soaks her.

Meanwhile Prince Blueblood steps in gum and while trying to scrape it off on a nearby trashbin, Fancy Pants rounds the corner and thinks he's a homeless pony, so he gives him a few bits and his condolences and walks off.

Blueblood is angered by this, so he mentally adds Fancy Pants to "The List" along with Donut Joe and Snowflame.

[Isumo1489]

3022463

Ok, agreeing with this guy for the Cocaine revelation/flashback as Snowflame flies through the air. As for when he lands.

1.) Snowflame is first aware of landing on his head, this produces no pain, as Snowflame cannot feel it. And the blow itself is not harmful, both due to is extreme toughness and the cushioning effect of the excess brain matter in his head he is not using...and the fact he landed on cloud.
2.) Upon reorienting himself, Snowflame observes his surroundings, seeing himself on a Cloudhouse, (Possible since he was exposed to a Cloudwalking spell and his own powers have kept it fueled and active ever since first exposure.) Looking around he sees the Liquid Rainbow Waterfall, and decides to taste it. He then flashes back to the creation of a batch of Cocaine he witnessed, and realizes most of the chemical smells and such are in the Liquid Rainbow in his mouth!
3.) Moving to the house to ask the owner to aid him in his noble cause, he witnesses Rainbow Dash in a fancy (Read Gala) dress. She is still very good-looking in it, but she frets, both due to this being a girly activity and the fact she is insecure.
4.) Snowflame, for a change knocks, and Rainbow is distracted enough to answer in the dress.
5.) Their conversation is kept strictly to the liquid rainbow, which Dash gives permission for a small amount to be harvested for his use.
6.) Sitting awkwardly, Snowflame compliments Rainbow Dash on looking very nice, though as a human, his sense of good looking may be different than Equestrian norm.
7.) Rainbow, both embarrassed and yet hopeful, asks if he really thinks so.
8.) Snowflame confirms, and wonders aloud if she has her eyes on somepony, and if so, would she like aid.
9.) Rainbow may confirm or deny, but either way, Snowflame leaves his offer standing, for whenever she might need the aid.
10.) Snowflame then departs with the sample of Rainbow, looking to head back to Zecora's hut, in hopes of a new incarnation of his god Rising.

11.) Blueblood, Still in Canterlot, is now looking to find an alternative means of getting to Snowflame, and looks up the famous Cellist, Octavia Philaharmonica.
12.) Upon finding her apartment, he is met by one, DJ Pon3, Ie, Vinyle Scratch.
13.) Seeing the obviously lower-class mare, he threatens to call the guards and arrest her for breaking and entering, with the DJ rebuffing him that a poster child for "Rich and Challenged" should try learning to walk and breath at the same time.
14.) The exchange brings out Octavia, who knows full well who the Prince is, tries to curb Vinyl, while Blueblood then gasps, thinking this is a hostage situation.
15.) Vinyl becoming more enraged, and Octavia more exasperated, punches the prince, saying why she'd be holder her own Filly-friend hostage.
16.) Blueblood smirks, saying that it's obviously a lie, as no Canterlot raised mare would degrade herself with such a low-class no account ruffian.
17.) Octavia herself freezes before kindly asking the prince to repeat that. Not noticing her undertone, Blueblood does just that, smirking at Vinyle, who now looks to Octavia in fear.
18.) Octavia herself then launches herself at Blueblood, Base Guitar in hand, ranting about how she'd gunna "Drop the base, ON YOUR HEAD!!" Vinyl quickly calls for the guards, before settling back with a bag of popcorn, saying, "That's my Tavi!" As the scene ends, we hear Blueblood's screams.

Hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

[Awesomedude17]

3022560 As Snowflame goes to Zecora's home, Deadpool appears out of the bushes before thinking of Linkara, and attacking the man for being friends with that egomaniac.

It goes like this...

"I will smash you smash, and take yo coca-cola, because I want coke!"

"What? Snowflame was talking about cocaine!"

"Wait, really? Then why am I here?"

"Snowflame does not know."

"Whateves, later fucker."

[Broniesrponies2]

Snowflame lands on Blueblood, getting that obvious meeting happening. It doesn't last long as Blueblood is dropkicked to the palace and Snowflame realizes that he must get back to Ponyville before Lyra gets back after work. He then realizes that he has plenty of time to get back and then runs to the palace, catches Blueblood (who was plotting to tell Celestia) and then makes Blueblood look like an asshole. then return to Ponyville to find stripy flower pony to bring cocaine to the ponies.

[JustThatGuy]

1) A new chalanger appears: DeadPool!

2) DeadPool teaches Snowflame how to make super cocane(don't ask me how).

3) [Insert other comments here]

[Java Joe]

Another Snowflame story.

Instafaved.