The Ultimate Warrior and Snowflame break the hug, now considering themselves friends. Luna takes this moment to get to the bottom of things.
Luna: OK, hold on, there are still a few questions that need to be answered here.
Snowflame: Huh? Like what? Usually when the ponies give the friendship speech then hug, a letter gets written to your sister and the episode ends.
Luna: What?...Nevermind, You, Mr. Warrior, you mentioned gods that would give you power, who were they?
Warrior: I don't know.
Luna: Ok, what did they look like?
Warrior: I don't know.
Luna: What do you mean you don't know? You were sent here by them to defeat Snowflame right?
Warrior: Yes
Luna: So you must have seen their forms right?
Warrior: No, all I know is that he heard their salty tongues in his brain, and then I appeared in front of a black gate inside of a black hole where they spoke to me! They filled the spaceship with the rocket fuel, loaded it with the words, and sent me here!
Snowflame: Snowflame has been in that position plenty of times, you can't snort a truckload of Cocaine in one sitting no matter how much you want to, believe me, Snowflame knows, you will see funny things.
Warrior: I do not partake in the womb of the coca plant, rather I get my stimulant from the almighty power of Destrucity.
Snowflame: Agree to disagree (Shrugs)
Luna: So what you're telling me is that you heard voices in your head, you appeared before a black gate somewhere, these voices told you to kill Snowflame then sent you here in that craft? And you didn't once think to ask who they were or why they wanted you to do this?
Warrior: That sounds about right, and no, they promised me the power to defeat Hoke Hogan! Why would I refuse?
Luna facehooves and Snowflame shrugs.
Snowflame: Eh, sometimes you just have to listen to mysterious voices in your head, otherwise they get mad.
Luna: Alright, but we are going to get to the bottom of this once you two wake up. Do you promise not to fight each other when I revive you.
Warrior: I swear upon the scissors that I need but don't have at the moment.
Snowflame: Snowflame does, cross Snowflame's heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in Snowflame's eye.
Warrior: What the hell was that?
Snowflame: It means Snowflame is serious, otherwise the Pink Pony will hunt Snowflame down with righteous fury.
Warrior: Oh... what Icy Hot said
Luna rolls her eyes and brings them back into the real world.
The Ultimate Warrior and Snowflame break the hug, now considering themselves friends.
Luna takes this moment to get try to the bottom of all this insanity. "Okay, hold on, there are still a few questions that need to be answered here."
"Huh? Like what? Usually when the ponies give the friendship speech then hug, a letter gets written to your sister and the episode ends. Roll Credits." Snolwflame says before even more music plays.
"What?...Nevermind, You, Mr. Warrior, you mentioned gods that would give you power, who were they?"
"I don't know!" The Ultimate Warrior says.
"Ok, what did they look like?"
"I don't know!"
"What do you mean you don't know? You were sent here by them to defeat Snowflame right?"
"Yes!"
"So you must have seen their forms right?"
"No, all I know is that he heard their salty tongues in his brain, and then I appeared in front of a black gate inside of a black hole where they spoke to me! They filled the spaceship with the rocket fuel, loaded it with the words, and sent me here!"
"Snowflame has been in that position plenty of times, you can't snort a truckload of Cocaine in one sitting no matter how much you want to, believe me, Snowflame knows, you will see funny things." Snowflame says.
"I do not partake in the womb of the coca plant, rather I get my stimulant from the almighty power of Destrucity!"
"Agree to disagree." Snowflame says with a Shrug.
"So what you're telling me is that you heard voices in your head, you appeared before a black gate somewhere, these voices told you to kill Snowflame then sent you here in that craft? And you didn't once think to ask who they were or why they wanted you to do this?" Luna asks.
"That sounds about right, and no, they promised me the power to defeat Hoke Hogan! Why would I refuse?" The Warrior asks.
Luna facehooves, while Snowflame shrugs and says, "Eh, sometimes you just have to listen to mysterious voices in your head, otherwise they get mad."
"Alright, but we are going to get to the bottom of this once you two wake up. Do you promise not to fight each other when I revive you?" The Princess of the Night asks.
"I swear upon the scissors that I need but don't have at the moment!" The Warrior exclaims.
"Snowflame does, cross Snowflame's heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in Snowflame's eye." Snowflame says doing the famous mothions that go with the chant.
"What the hell was that?" The Warrior asks.
"It means Snowflame is serious, otherwise the Pink Pony will hunt Snowflame down with righteous fury."
"Oh... what Icy Hot said!"
Luna rolls her eyes and uses her magic to awaken the two.
In the Real World
Luna: Sister? Where are you?
Celestia enters from the gardens and sees Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior sitting up.
Celestia: Oh good they're awake, what did you find out?
Luna: I'm not too sure, but it seems an entity claiming to be a god wants Snowflame terminated and sent this "Ultimate Warrior" to carry out the deed.
Celestia: That is troubling, he had to face an assassin only yesterday, but this Warrior seems on par with Snowflame's powers. Have you restrained them
Luna: It is not necessary, they became friends somehow in their shared dreamscape, so they will not be a problem.
Celestia: (Shocked) Really? I didn't see that one coming. But still, I would like to speak to this other human
They both turn around, and Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior are gone.
Celestia: What was that about not needing to restrain them?
Luna: Shut up!
The two humans eyes open at the same time and they sit up.
Luna sees this, turns around and says. "Sister? Where are you?"
Seemingly on command Celestia enters from the gardens and sees Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior sitting up. "Oh good they're awake, what did you find out?"
"I'm not too sure, but it seems an entity claiming to be a god wants Snowflame terminated and sent this "Ultimate Warrior" to carry out the deed." Luna explains.
"That is troubling, he had to face an assassin only yesterday, but this Warrior seems on par with Snowflame's powers. Have you restrained them?"
"It is not necessary, they became friends somehow in their shared dreamscape, so they will not be a problem."
"Really? I didn't see that one coming.", Celestia says in shock, "But still, I would like to speak to this other human."
They both turn around to see that there was no trace of ether Snowflame or The Ultimate Warrior.
"What was that about not needing to restrain them?" Celestia asked.
"Shut up and go make out with Discord!" Luna shouts, making Celestia blush.
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Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior are walking back to Discord's Room
Snowflame: Snowflame can't wait to show you all the ponies, there's the cowboy one, the rainbow one, the nerdy one, the shy one, the high and mighty one, and Snowflame's favorite, the Pink one. But first we have to get to Q and find out who tried to have Snowflame killed.
Warrior: (Excited) I can't wait, and I tried to have you killed.
Snowflame: No, the other assassin that tried to kill Snowflame was hired by someone here, I was going to ask Star Trek guy to help before you showed up.
Warrior: I am sorry my new and only friend, in penance, I shall help you find this pony and we will rip him harder than X-Pac's anus!
Snowflame: Yay! and EwwwThey literally walk into the Mane 6 trying to get away from Carrot Top and Raining Frogs and they all end up in a pile. The Ultimate Warrior has Rainbow Dash on his chest and Pinkie Pie is on Snowflame's back smearing him with chocolate still on her fur.
Warrior: This one is soft and cuddly, has a pretty dress and is the color of rainbows, this pleases the Ultimate Warrior. (Hugs Dash Hard)
Rainbow Dash: What? (Get's squeezed and can't breathe)
Warrior: The Warrior will name you Skittles
Dash can't retaliate since she is in a big hug, but a disgusted look comes on her face as Pinkie, Snowflame and Discord (Who takes a picture with a camera) laugh
The others are too shocked at the other human's presence to join in.
Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior try to make their way to Discord's Room
"Snowflame can't wait to show you all the ponies, there's the cowboy one, the rainbow one, the nerdy one, the shy one, the high and mighty one, and Snowflame's favorite, the Pink one. But first we have to get to Q and find out who tried to have Snowflame killed." Snowflame said.
"I can't wait, and I tried to have you killed!" The Warrior said excitedly.
"No, the other assassin that tried to kill Snowflame was hired by someone here, I was going to ask Star Trek guy to help before you showed up."
"I am sorry my new and only friend, in penance, I shall help you find this pony and we will rip him harder than X-Pac's anus!"
"Yay! and Ewww."
That's when the wielders of the Elements of Harmony, who were trying to get away from some frogs falling from the ceiling and what looked like the comedian Carrot Top, literally ran right into the two humans and they all end up in a pile. The Ultimate Warrior has Rainbow Dash on his chest and Pinkie Pie is on Snowflame's back smearing him with chocolate still on her fur.
"This one is soft and cuddly, has a pretty dress and is the color of rainbows, this pleases the Ultimate Warrior." The Warrior says hugging Rainbow Dash hard.
Rainbow Dash is only able to say, "What?" before she get's squeezed.
"The Warrior will name you Skittles." Dash can't retaliate since she is in a big hug, but a disgusted look comes on her face as Pinkie, Snowflame and Discord, who's now in his regular form and he takes a picture with a camera, all laugh at Dash's expense. The others are too shocked at the other human's presence to join in.
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In The Black Hole...
In the Black Hole
Voice 1: The Ultimate Warrior failed to kill Snowflame, I told you he was unworthy.
Voice 2: Hey the Warrior was the only corruptible Wrestler I could get my hands on, I didn't see you coming up with any better alternatives
Voice 3: He also seems to have allied himself with the cocaine disciple, I didn't think anything could detract him from his vengeance upon Hogan, but it seems that the Friendship Magic has invaded his black heart
Voice 1: This complicates our plans for Equestria, if those two stand against us, everything will not run as smoothly.
Voice 4: Then we have to step it up a notch, find someone who cannot and will not submit to friendship. Someone who can defeated those spandex wearing fools.
Voices 1-3: Yes My Lord.
Voice 4: Equestria will fall, it's only a matter of time.
"The Ultimate Warrior failed to kill Snowflame, see I told you he was unworthy. Looks like someone owe me five bucks." A almost cheerful sound voice said.
"Hey the Warrior was the only muckle darned corruptible Wrestler I could get me hands on, I don't see you be coming up with anything." another voice, this one having a thick scottish accent, said.
"He also seems to have allied himself with the cocaine disciple, I didn't think anything could detract him from his vengeance upon Hogan, but it seems that the Friendship Magic has invaded his black heart. This complicates our plans for Equestria, if those two stand against us, everything will not run as smoothly." A third voice, this one sounding angry said.
"Then we have to step it up a notch, find someone who cannot and will not submit to friendship. Someone who can defeated those spandex wearing fools. Then we can complete the job we were chosen for. Equestria will fall, it's only a matter of time." A fourth voice, this one sounding very deep, a little too deep to be natural.
"Well why don't we go down there now?" The first voice asked.
"We don't need to get our hands dirty yet. So let's just stick to my plan."
"Okay so what your saying is that we need to find the biggest douchebag in Equestria."
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Meanwhile in the Coo Coo's Nest/
Blueblood:
Find out that Zant, for all intents and purposes, despite being criminally insane, is in fact a powerful magic user.... really powerful..... REALLY powerful.... So powerful that in his previous encounter with the hapless hero where he actually fought him the battle not only lasted for three seconds and not only did he beat him in what was an incredibly one sided victory, but he was able to do all of that without having to physically move.
Maybe he could be useful in your revenge against Snowflame (especially now that the Ultimate Warrior is in the picture).
But first things first.
Start forming and escape plan. You need to get out of here, and maybe Zant can help you somehow.
How to get Zant to follow you:
Show him a bit of magic and convince him you're a god (should be easy), he'll do whatever you say afterwards.
Back at the Nut House, Zant finishes his tale of his conquest. Blueblood is still drugged, but can see through the fog somewhat
Zant: and then Midna blew me up and I ended up here.
Blueblood: That's...Unbelievable.
Zant: Yes I know, now that I think about it I don't know why that god Ganon didn't protect me from that
Blueblood: Maybe he was busy? (He uses his magic to take a sip of water)
Zant flips out at seeing that little bit of magic.
Zant: Oh My Celestia! You Can Do Magic?
Blueblood: Of course, I'm a Unicorn, just like you
Zant feels the top of his head, seemingly just noticing that he has a horn. He uses it to knock out Drum Circle
Zant: Oh My Celestia, you are a god aren't you?
Blueblood: What? I...
Zant: You can do magic and you turned me into a unicorn! What is your bidding my lord?
Blueblood: (Blueblood's rational side fights through the fog slightly) Ummm, get us out of here?
Zant: As you wish my god.
Zant blasts a hole in the side of the building setting off alarms and making Blueblood's jaw drop. Zant slings Blueblood over his back.
Zant: Joey, get your loafers on, we're going for taco salads baby!
Disco Dance (Joey): QUIET IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM! QUIET IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM!!!
Screwloose: Bark Bark Bark
Zant: Fluffy, I'll meet you at mom's around dinner time, make sure no one follows you.
Fluffy:...
Zant: Yes Yes, I love you too, now go!
Zant runs out with Blueblood on his back, while Screwloose and Disco Dance follow.
Drum Circle sits up and sees the destruction.
Drum Circle: Oh Not Again
Zant finishes his tale of his conquest, while Blueblood starts see through the fog somewhat. "and then Midna blew me up and I ended up here."
"That's...Unbelievable." Blueblood says.
"Yes I know, now that I think about it I don't know why that god Ganon didn't protect me from that."
"Maybe he was busy?" Blueblood suggest as he uses his magic to pick up a glass and takes a sip of water.
Zant sees the little bit of magic and flips out, "Oh My Ganon! You Can Do Magic?!"
"Of course, I'm a Unicorn, just like you."
Zant feels the top of his head, seemingly just noticing that he has a horn. He then decides to test it up by grabbing the now empty glass from Blueblood, and he chucks it at Drum Circle, who falls to the ground after it smashes against his head. "Oh My Ganon, you are a god aren't you?"
"What? I..."
"You can do magic and you turned me into a unicorn! What is your bidding my lord?"
Blueblood thinks for a second of this whole situation, but a smile comes across his face once he realizes ho he can take advantage of this. "Ummm, get us out of here?"
"As you wish my god." Zant then blasts a hole in the side of the building setting off alarms and making Blueblood's jaw drop. Zant slings Blueblood over his back. "Joey, get your loafers on, we're going for taco salads baby!"
"QUIET IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM! QUIET IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM!!!" Dicso Dance shouts.
Screwloose barks three times.
"Fluffy, I'll meet you at mom's around dinner time, make sure no one follows you." Zant says to some thin air right next to the knocked out Drum Circle. "Yes Yes, I love you too, now go!" Zant then runs out with Blueblood on his back, while Screwloose and Disco Dance follow.
Drum Circle wakes up and sees the destruction. "Aww man... I am so getting fired."
Snowflame, Pinkie, and Discord are still laughing at Rainbow Dash being hugged so roughly, but she's had enough.
Dash: (Gasping for air) Let...me...go!
Warrior: OK Skittles!
He lets her go and she falls to the floor breathing hard
The Warrior looks at the other ponies and smiles, he sees Pinkie Pie laughing on Snowflame's back.
Warrior: The Pink one looks fluffy and I like it's laughing, let me have it.
Snowflame gets a serious look on his face and pulls Pinkie into a protective hug
Snowflame: NO, the Pink one is Snowflame's favorite, you stick with the Rainbow one like all the marketing!
Pinkie: Snowfy, that's not very nice, I'm friends with everypony
Warrior: Fine, you keep the cotton candy, I'll stick with the Skittles
He tries to grab Dash again, but she runs and hides behind the rest of the girls
Applejack: Alright, enough of this nonsense, who in tarnation are ya?
Twilight: (Taking up defensive position with her horn) Yes, and why are you here?
Warrior: I am the Ultimate Warrior you colorful hooved mammals, AND I WILL BE THE HEAVY WEIGHT CHAMPION THIS NEXT WRESTLEMANIA!!!! *SKRONK*
Rarity is disgusted by the Skronk and the others are all confused, so they look to Snowflame
Snowflame: (Wraps his arm around the Warrior) Main Characters, this is Snowflame's new friend The Ultimate Warrior!
Twilight: Friend? But I thought you two just viciously fought each other? You wrecked downtown Canterlot
Warrior: We did, I tried to kill this Icy Hot Crack Head
Snowflame: Cocaine! Not Crack! They're two separate things!
Warrior: Whatever!
Twilight: Snowflame, how can you say he's your friend, he just said he tried to kill you?
Snowflame: So? John De Lancie tried to kill you, now you're all buddies
Twilight: Who is...
Discord: I never tried to kill them, I only tried to destroy their defining characteristics to plunge the land into chaos!
Snowflame: Ya, that, and look, he's fine, and so is the Warrior here
Warrior: Yes! Friendship is Magic! But is all Magic Friendship? That is the Ultimate Question!
Pinkie: Seems fine to me (She rushes up and hugs the Warrior)
Twilight: But...He...
Snowflame: Sorry to cut you off nerdy one, but we have business to attend to.
Warrior: Yes, we need to talk to you (He points at Discord) you son of a motherless goat!
Discord: Well that's just rude to goats, but lets go somewhere private (He snaps his fingers and they teleport)
Twilight: Wait, I... (Uggghhhhh)
Applejack: Well that sure was strange
Rarity: And did you see what he was wearing? Honestly, what is up with these humans and their affinity for spandex and face paint?
Pinkie: Well I liked him, Right Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Well, um...
Pinkie: Exactly
Dash: Well I think he was stupid!
Pinkie: Oh come on Dashie, he was just showing his affection
Dash: Whatever!
Luna and Celestia come across the Mane 6
Celestia: Girls, have you seen Snowflame and the Other Human?
Luna: They wandered off before we could speak with them
Twilight: They just disappeared with Discord
Celestia/Luna: Mother of Me!
At the Library in Ponyville
Discord, Snowflame and the Warrior teleport in and startle Spike into falling off the ladder
Discord: Ah, there we go, nice and quiet...And I can get on the egghead's nerves. Snaps his fingers and all the books fall off the shelf, burying Spike
Spike: Oh Come On!
They don't seem to hear Spike and continue on with conversation
Discord: Now, what do you need my delightfully chaotic gentleman? And are you going to apologize for ramming your ship into my head?
Warrior: NO!!!
Snowflame: We came because we are looking for the pony who hired the first clawed assassin that tried to kill Snowflame. Sun Butt said you could help.
Discord: So wait, there was another killer sent from Canterlot before Braveheart showed up?
Warrior: That is what my brother from another mother is telling you!
Discord: Well why don't you ask the assassin if you haven't killed him already?
Snowflame: Snowflame did, all he said was that the pony was hooded and had money.
Discord: I see. Well I suppose I could ask around the seedy underbelly of the city in disguise, I do still owe you for introducing me to the majesty of Cociane.
Snowflame: AWESOME SAUCE!!!
Discord: Now what about your new friend here? Who sent him?
Warrior: The gods beyond the black gate, the ones with mysterious mystifying voices that promise your every desire
Discord: Okaaay....I'll look into that as well. I'll start in on it tomorrow, I may or may not be getting Immortal tail tonight, so I'm gonna focus my cards on that for the time being.
Snowflame: Snowflame understands, Pimpin ain't easy, wonder what we should do in the meantime though?
Spike finally gets out from under the books, and looks mad until he sees the three figures
Spike: Ummm, What are you guys doing here?
The Warrior sees Spike and gets excited
Warrior: Do my own eyes deceive me, or is this the chubby offspring of the dinosaurs with wings and fire?
Spike: Hey, I'm not chubby!
Snowflame: This is the only male main character in this place, he's Spyro the Dragon
Spike: It's Spike.
Warrior: This is amazing, Dragons exist in this realm. The Warrior wishes to slay one right now!
Snowflame: Snowflame thinks that's a great Idea, Why didn't Snowflame think of it earlier? And Snowflame knows exactly which one.
(He Looks at Spike and Points) YOU!!!
Spike: (Backs up nervously) Y...Yes?
Snowflame: Remember when you ran away because the owl was outshining you and that green dragon tried to eat you and the purple pony?
Spike: Y...Yeah? How do you know that?
Snowflame: Well you know where he is and we will kill him and take his treasure!
Warrior: The scaly behemoth of flame will feel the power of our combined might, and our bond will be strengthened like Chinese finger traps.
Spike: B..But I can't go back out there, it's almost dark out and I don't want to get eaten.
Snowflame: Do not worry, Snowflame knows just the thing (Looks at Discord) Next Generation, turn him into a badass like us and make him 8 feet tall and have a chainsaw!
Discord: Alright sounds fun
Snaps fingers and Spike Painfully grows as tall as Discord, but he is ripped like Snowflame and the Warrior with sharp Spines on his back with an awesome chin and wings
Spike looks down at his new form and Chainsaw
Spike: Groovy (In Bruce Campbell's voice) Let's see Rarity Deny this!
Snowflame: Now you are awesome, you must take your revenge to become a man though so let's go kill Alduin!
Warrior/Spike: YEAH!!!
They rush out and leave Discord behind who wonders whether he should go help and have fun or try to get laid.
Running away from the Mental Institution
Blueblood is still speechless at the display of Zant's power and laying on Zant's back as he and the other two race through the evening into Canterlot
At one point, Screwloose holds them up as she sniffs around a corner and smells two guards.
They then arrive at a giant house and this finally gets Blueblood to speak
Blueblood: This is your home?
Zant: I know, isn't it lovely, you should see my giant chair my lord
Blueblood: It's bigger than my mansion
Zant: Well being the king of the Twilight Realm has it's perks, oh hello Fluffy, glad to see you made it here in one piece. Did you tell mom we're back?
Fluffy:...
Zant: Excellent
Blueblood: Well we should get inside before somepony sees us
Disco Dance: PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!!!
Zant: Yes Joey, surely mom has set out the Pizza bites for us
They enter and a maid confronts him
Maid: Why you here? Mr. Fancy Pants no here right now
Blueblood: Fancy Pants?
Maid: Yes, he no here, he go to Prance, you go now!
Blueblood: You said this was your place Zant
Zant: Oh way to go Fluffy, you didn't tell the help we'd be coming home
Fluffy:...
Zant: Great, now we have to start taking hostages
Blueblood: Wait, What?
Zant knocks out the maid and uses curtain ropes to tie her up
Zant: Joey I need you to check the kitchen and bring anyone you find to the living room, and Don't you Dare Eat the Pizza Bites Without Us!
Disco Dance: I GOTCHA, I GOTCHA!
He runs off where screaming and dropping pans can be heard along with his laughter.
Zant: Screwloose, be a dear and herd anyone upstairs down here please
Screwloose: Bark, Bark
She runs upstairs where her snarling and frightened screams of others can be heard.
Zant: Although I do wish Fluffy had given them forewarning, this game is always fun to play.
He hands Blueblood a knife
Zant: Here you go my lord, I leave her life in your hooves, just hold it against her kneck till the others come, I'll go check the laundry room
Blueblood is speechless again with his knife against the unconscious maid
Blueblood thinks: "How do I keep getting into these situations?"