- Member Since 21st Feb, 2012
- offline last seen April 1st
RainbowJack
hi everyPony, my name is RainbowJack. I have been a brony from December 2010 and fell in love with the series because a friend of mine told me to watch it. i like the community that is here
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:D
A few misspelling were toward the end. You should go over your story once more then re-upload it.
this made me want to
so badly
instead
so i just
To all ponies who are reading this story; i am aware of the misspelling stuff the story is going to be cleaned and re-uplaoded as soon as my friend can do it. I am sorry if it is not as good as i tought but i promis it will be better this is my first try at making a FiMfict. but still thanks for all the input , and yes my english sucks i know thats why i make fanficts to improve on that and leanr how to make good stories
The fic is very well rounded as a first chap but you might want to consider using past tense in the speech like instead of 'says' try 'said'and keep the tense consistent. It may just be nitpicking but it will go a long way trust me
247300I know i have the finished chapter at a friends place he is going to correct and added stuff in but thanks for your input i am happy you liked it Chapter 2 is still in brainstorm phase but getting a sens it will be better then this one
i will take your advice into improving my wrighting and story making
247379 Id love to read chap 2 spmetime and I hope you understand that my comment wasn't a criticism in any way... so, um, keep up the good work
247876i under stand that every thing everyone say i take as advice to inprove my stuff
so dont worry 
Work on that spelling buddy and you got yourself one helluva story!
Amazing and simple clopfic 9/10
1034774
Thanks
I really enjoyed your story, but in my opinion saying "I love you" in the first chapter after spending one night together already is too quick. Besides that, the only thing that disturbs me a bit are the spelling and grammar mistakes, but all in all they are not so bad and everything is still fully understandable.
delicious work