Fourth wall? What fourth wall?

by Zystral

Limitations of a Mind

I'm not going to claim that I'm some amazing person. Like I've said, I'm your average kid who likes video games, cricket, My Little Pony, and mathematics. And the events of my life are no long tale either; normal days with normal teenager problems. But sometimes, everyone wishes there was a little excitement in their life, no? I've been in that situation many-a-time, and many-a-time, I've found my own raison d'etre. What am I trying to say? Keep at it. You'll find your own way through.

***

"Mister Writer, can you remember the first time you made contact with Pinkie?"
I'm afraid not, Twilight. Even the details themselves are fuzzy at best. Why do you ask?
"I was just curious; we get Pinkie Pie breaking the fourth wall a lot, but never in this calibre. You're also the first human we've ever had contact with."
Humans don't exist in your universe?
"Not one."
I see. What I find interesting about your universe, however, is that a variety of species are more than just sentient; they are comparable to a human's level of intelligence, relative to their human-universe counterparts, that is. For example, most equines in the human world barely know of any cognitive function outside of "eat, sleep, breathe, run". I'm no philosopher or biologist, so I can't even begin to fathom an explaination, but it just strikes me as interesting.
"Perhaps it's all in the mind."
How do you mean?"
"Perhaps it's not important what the brain is capable of, but what the user makes of it. Or even, what the brain makes of itself."
That's odd, interesting, and very deep. I have no idea how to respond to that.
"If there's one thing that the study of friendship has taught me over science; is that not everything needs to be investigated. You can often revel in the beauty of what is."
I'm sorry, is this My Little Pony or My Little Nietsche?

"Say, Mister Writer, shouldn't you be studying?"
What is this, Pinkie Pie, giving me sensible suggestions? What is the world coming to? Yes, you're right Pinkie. I do have a Mechanics exam this Friday.
"So study!"
It just so happens mechanics is my forte when it comes to mathematics. Well, perhaps not as much as algebraic calculus, but applied mathematics. I am confident for this Friday. Besides, I've already exhausted the supply of study material.
"Ooh, look at you, Mister Writer! Or should I say, Mister Smarty-McSmart-Smarts?"
That's a terrible name
"Well, in that case, how about I give you some practice instead?"
Correct me if I'm wrong, Pinkie, but your cutie mark is of a bunch of balloons. Are you suggesting you can give me a run for my money on frameworks and kinetic dynamics?
"Try me."

***

...And so, because the change in kinetic energy is 33000 Joules, and the change in gravitational potential 22000 Joules, we can deduce that 11000 Joules of work has been done against resistive motion.
"Alright, then given that the coefficient of friction is 0.5, how far as it travelled?"
Oh god, what was that equation.... Uh... F=μr? Right. So we know that Work = Force x Distance, and so the force is 0.5 x 800 * 9.8 * sin 30, which is... 1960. So 11000/1960 is... 5.6 metres, to one decimal place.
"I'm impressed!"
I should say the same. I would not have expected a party pony to be able to come up with questions like those. Believe me, it's helped solidify my confidence for the upcoming exam. Not to mention fufilled my quota of studying for the day. Or as my friends would say; "Ben, you're Chinese, you cannot fufill your study quota because there aren't enough hours in the day."
"Hahahah, your friends are funny!"
Yeah, they're a riot (!) Anyway, back to the point; if you're up for it, I've another exam coming up in a few weeks for physics.
"I'm not so good with those. You know that."
Of course. Pardon me to forget that you and physics are not the best of friends.

"What was that noise?"
That was my stomach. I've not eaten much today.
"But that's terrible!"
It'll be fine, I'll stomach it out.
"..."
See what I did there?
"No, what do did you do dided there? I was thinking more how bad it was that you aren't eating."
Sigh, nevermind. Look, it's no big deal. Honestly.
"No! You eat something right now, Mister! Preferably with sugar!"
Okay, okay... . . . Look, here. I am eating a cereal bar.
"Then how comes you're still talking fine?"
Because I am typing one-handed, maybe, and not actually talking?
"That's not gonna fly with me!"
AUGH. Hrrrkay, rrrrk. Hr hmf hrtng hr hr hrf hrrrlll.
"I don't understand what you're saying."
This isn't funny anymore.
"A-Ha! You weren't actually eating!"
This has devolved into a circular argument. I am stopping now.
"You really need to eat something though!"
And I have! I just finished an entire pack of cereal bars. Four whole bars.
"...Whoa. Okay. You don't joke about that kind of stuff."

"So Mister Writer, why do you do?"
Do what I do why I do what?
"Like, why do you do stuff?"
Because I like to analyze things and have the logic tell me what the best idea is for any given situation.
"No, I mean like what is your goal at the end of the day?"
Make it through alive, do what I did the best I could, and try not to make myself a problem for others.
"No no no! I mean what is your goal or target that you reach for?"
Hmm... That's an interesting one. I've not thought of that before. I would say... Rather than pursuing happiness, I delight in momentary contentness and enjoyment, while maintaining a good balance of everything else. Keeping things as they should be, doing everything I can, as well as I can, doing what should be done, being a good person. Not the best, but the best I can be.
"Mhm..."
Why do you even ask?
"Oh no reason, people just seem to talk better after they've just eaten."
Your logic is both infallible yet ridiculous at the same time.

***

Hey Mister Music, tsuyoki daite... Hey Mister Music, odorasete yo...
"Why don't you ever use the Gem Bombs?"
Because it is not necessary. I just want to win, not be flashy.
"But isn't that the point of EDH?"
Yes, which is why I do it there. Time and place, Pinkie. It's about knowing when to act a certain way and when to behave in another. Reading and understanding the surroundings and the situation to adapt and behave appropriately is something I've always believed to be important.
"Does that mean I should try to be less shouty and excited all the time? Twilight is always complaining that I'm too loud or always partying and that I should "relax and take it easy" some time."
That's a different situation, I think. You being bright and loud is a factor of who you are, not of your behavior about your surroundings. It's not something you can change, I don't think. It's who you are. I mean, even you can tell when you should keep your mouth shut. I'm thinking less about how you make yourself look in relation to your surroundings and more about how you conduct yourself based on what you currently know. If that makes sense.
"Not one teeny-tiny bit!"
Never mind then.

"You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize how long it's been."
In a few weeks it'll have been a year. Correct.
"That's spooky!"
It is if you stop to consider it. I've got some more important things to worry about however.
"Oh of course! We always have more important things to worry about, like whose party to throw next, or when your friend's birthday is next coming up! But you've always gotta look at the little things to keep yourself occupied in the mean time. After all, if you spend all your time worrying about meteorites you're going to miss the volcanoes! It's the same the other way - if you care only about ants in your yard, you'll forget about the bear in your kitchen. It's a balancing act of keeping yourself entertained with the little things while working towards the bigger things! That's life!"
...My goodness.
"What?"
That was... unbelievably insightful.
"No it's not, it's just common sense!"
And there we go, back to normalcy.
"Back to wha?"

Comments

[DreZoma]

It's true, Pinkie and Physics had a falling out after Physics slept with Pinkie's coltfriend, Rationality. Pinkie hasn't spoken to either since... though she is good friends with Troll Logic.

[Blue Blaze {COMET}]

"Yeah, they're a riot (!)"

What were you trying to do with the exclamation point in the parenthesis?

I don't get it.

[Zystral]

763249

It's the most common way of showing sarcasm.