Fourth wall? What fourth wall?

by Zystral

Writer's Block

“…And so we see that the experiment is not yielding results within the expected 320-333ms-1 range, but rather well below this, instead giving values of around 200-260ms-1 ”
“Hello Mister Writer!”
Ah, Pinkie. A well-timed distraction. What are you doing back here, anyway?
“Distraction? From what? And I can’t come visit you now and again? You’re my favourite writer!”
Physics. I used to enjoy this science, and now it is becoming dreary. Anyway, never mind the second half of our conversation now.
“Ooh! I know someone who really likes science and would be able to help your interest get going again! She gets annoyed that sometimes what I do goes beyond these laws, but I don’t know why Physics has laws, because it’s not a country, so I don’t know if what I’m doing is actually wrong, whatever it is I’m doing!”
It’s a mystery. Anyway, I won’t be doing much in the meantime. Just analysing my results and trying to find out why the speed of sound isn’t actually 330 metres per second.
“Okie dokie lokie! Be back soon!”
Where was I? Oh, right.
“Despite this setback, I moved onto the Rijke’s tube from the resonance tube. As the Rijke’s tube incorporates changes in temperature, which is known to cause changes in the speed of sound, this seemed like a logical advancement…”

“I’m back!”
Hello Pinkie. Hello Twilight.
“Good afternoon, Zy. Are your studies going well?”
In some ways yes, and in some ways no.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Anything I can do to help?”
I’m not too sure myself. In a sense, I’m doing as well as I was – I understand the material and I can do well when tested on it, but it doesn’t seem gripping anymore. It may be because I chose my current assignment on an extremely basic project and theory.
“May I ask what your assignment is?”
“I’ll leave the two of you to talk, I have cookies to bake! Which reminds me, why do we bake cookies but cook bacon? It doesn’t make sense.”
Pinkie, stop before you make me crave a second lunch.
“Right, now that she’s out of our manes – sorry, slip of the tongue…”
Don’t fret, I’m perfectly fine with equine terms.
“If you say so. As I was saying, what is your assignment about?”
Well, the title is this, ‘Sound and Acoustic Phenomena: An investigation into sound and the unique properties of its pressure wave.’ So far, I’ve analysed the speed of sound in various circumstances, and I’m writing up on my results so far, but it’s extremely tedious, as all of my experiments have resulted in failure. As well as this, I’m starting to despise the subject itself. Let’s not get onto the fact that I still need to do two separate other experiments for a more conclusive investigation, and due to the clunky schedule of my professor, that hasn’t been possible…
“Oh my. That is quite troublesome. May I have a quick glance at what you do have so far?”
Of course. There is a distinct lack of diagrams and results, though.
“Hmm… Right… Okay… Ah… I see…”
Right now the biggest problem is that both experiments have lead me to the conclusion that the speed of sound is 240 metres per second.
“I think the biggest problem is your measurement of the maximum amplitudes along the tube. Couldn’t you possibly work backwards, knowing where the maxima should occur, given the speed of sound, and pretend that’s at least right?”
Miss Twilight Sparkle. Are you of all people suggesting I cheat?
“No… Not exactly… But if you need correct results to gain a good grade, then you should do all you can.”
I think cheating and fudging my results is a last resort. I still have many qualms to sort with my professor before then. Namely, where I should go from here to get more correct results. Sigh. Enough about my ails, Pinkie tells me you are also someone of the sciences. I would never have guessed, I figured you’d be more into humanities and such.
“Oh I am! But there’s something about knowing and understanding everything on a deeper level that just enraptures me so. For example when I was studying about Albert Einstable’s Theory of Relativity, I began looking at everything in a whole new light! Or when I was working on Neighkolai Tesla’s equations for electricity, that was so amazing how it all linked up correctly! There was also…”

---

“Yes, I quite agree, the idea of dimension-hopping seems like a much more interesting theory than a loose cable.”
Oh, I would have loved for a new scientific discovery to be made in my lifetime. In this day and age, sadly, I think humanity has reached their peak. All we can do now is use current knowledge to fuel further exploration. I doubt there is much room for something truly groundbreaking anymore.
“You never know. After all, we ponies play with magic all the time – something humankind still hasn’t figured out.”
I think that is where the physics of our respective worlds stop being similar.
“It really is a shame that you can’t visit our world though.”
I could say the same. Although I’m not too sure you guys would be safe considering some the people that exist in our world.
“Well, I’d better let you get back to it. I hope I’ve helped.”
I think you have. While you’ve not rekindled my love for thermoacoustics, you have at least reminded me why it is I took physics as one of my four choices in the first place. I think I have enough motivation and thinking to get me through.
“It was great speaking to you again. I think Pinkie should do this more often.”
Speaking of that girl, shouldn’t you go make sure she isn’t causing havoc in Ponyville?
“She’s only baking cookies.”
She’s baking cookies.
“Oh sweet Celestia. I am so sorry, I must be off!”

“Hello Mister Writer! Did Twilight help at all?”
Somewhat. I think I can finish this assignment, at least.
“That’s great-errific! So how about a game?”
Hm, I was hoping to finish what I could of this off while I still had the motivation, but if you insist. Anything in mind? Magic? Scrabble? Beat Hazard?
“I was thinking Audiosurf, Rainbow Dash said she wanted something more interesting while flying.”
You want Rainbow Dash to fly into coloured bricks along a runway?
“Of course not, silly billy! I’ll be riding her back with a spear, breaking any blocks so they don’t hit her head!”
That’s hardly fair! You can just go and break every block and get every point available!
“Nu-uh! Pinkie rigged up a system so that whatever her lance touches interacts with the score. Whatever that means.”
I see. Thank you, Rainbow, for appearing out of nowhere.
“It’s what I do. So anyway, are we gonna do this?”
I suppose I’ll let you guys choose the first song…
“Okay. Let’s see what we got. What’s new?”
“I downloaded the latest SUPER EUROBEAT compilation CD…”
“Alright, let’s go!”

Ugh, I told you this would be unfair.
“Quit whining! Just because we’re more awesome at this!”
“You tell him, Dashie!”
Whatever.
“Hey, what’s got you all messed up?”
I don’t know. Right now I’m tempted to say Pinkie’s presence, because I thought I saw the last of her when we wrote that story.
“Oh that pile of garbage? You know, it could have been awesome but you never took my suggestions.”
“How did you do in the competition anyway, Mister Writer?”
I never entered.
“What? Why not? After Pinkie dragged me along to help you, you just decided to not enter?”
In a word, yes. I didn’t feel like it. I don’t think I could’ve won. Besides, I don’t like getting fame and glory. I write because it’s an outlet for me. I write because I enjoy the act of writing. I only share my works on the off chance that my writing delivers joy to others in some other ethereal form.
“My brain hurts…”
Don’t worry yourself Pinkie. Anyway, I appreciate you and Dash coming along and keeping me company during this long day.
“Hey, what’s “Cockatrice”? Isn’t it some horrible creature Fluttershy fought?”
Correct, the name of the program is derived from the mythical beast. However, the Cockatrice on my computer is simply a simulator for a card game my friends and I play.
“Card games? I can take reading, but nerd things like that are too egghead for my level.”
Well, the game does involve a lot of patience and thinking, so it’s not for everyone-
“Are you saying I’m dumb? Come on buddy, shoot me a deck and let’s rock.”
That’s not what I was saying at all, but if you insist. Allow Pinkie to walk you through the rules.

---

…At the end of your turn, resolve Birthing Pod, sacrificing Vorapede to grab Wurmcoil Engine. Vorapede’s Undying trigger activates, and so it returns to play with a +1/+1 counter.
“Look out Dashie, he has a 6/5 Vigilance Trample and a 6/6 Lifelink Deathtouch!”
“What’s Wurmcoil Engine do? Lemme see that… *mumble* …So it splits itself upon death? That’s awesome! What’s Lifelink?”
Whenever it deals damage – not combat damage, and not necessarily to a player – I gain that much life. Basically, as long as it doesn’t get killed by something with First Strike or Double Strike I gain 6 life whenever it fights.
“Are you serious? That gets you back up to 20 in one attack!”
I’m quite aware. And because I brought it out during your End Phase, it doesn’t have sickness during my turn.
“That’s bad.”
“It’ll be fine, Dashie, you have Mirran Crusader with Sword of Feast and Famine and Sword of War and Peace! You can kill that nasty wurm before he can gain life!”
Not that I’m a sore loser, but that’s not happening.
“Why not?”
Because I have a Solemn Simulacrum in play and an Acidic Slime in hand. Meaning I’m going to destroy both Swords this turn. Then I’ll crack the second Pod so Perilous Myr kills Mirran Crusader.
“Aw buck! *sigh* Fine, you win.”
I must say, I’m rather impressed. You picked it up incredibly quickly.
“Yeah, well, what can I say? I’m a natural at these sorts of things.”
Quite. There’s still room for improvements but considering you only learnt not too long ago, that’s to be expected.
“Thanks, I guess…? Anyway I better get going, there’s some rain due for tonight.”
Take care. Hope to see you soon.

---

“Soo… what now?”
Isn’t it time you started thinking about going home?
“Aww, but Mister Writer… You’re an interesting friend to have. You talk all fancy “like this because it is proper of an English gentleman” yet you’re totally down to Earth!”
Thank you for saying that.
“Oh, but I’m not just saying that! You’re super smart and you’re nice to be around and you can put up with me while still talking to Twilight and dealing with Rainbow Dash! I just don’t get why you’re glum all the time… Please don’t say it’s because you don’t have friends because I’m your friend, right?”
Of course. I apologize if I come off as sombre. It’s just how I am.
“If you say so… But I like seeing you smile, because then that makes me smile and I like smiling and so it makes sense that you should like smiling too! OOH I know! How about next time I come see you, you try smiling a bit more! Then we’ll both be super happy!”
…Next time?
“Well, I came by last Sunday and I’m here today which I think is also a Sunday because yesterday the Cakes’ were closed and they’re always closed on Saturdays which means that it should be a regular thing that I come every week, right?”
As a computer science student, your logic is painful. But there’s no arguing, I guess. It’s not like I can stop you coming along.
“Whee! That’s super duper hooper! Can I bring the others also?”
By all means. It would be nice to have some company to talk to on a regular basis.
“Wait, regular basis? Mister Writer don’t you have any friends in real life?”
I do, but not many. And they live some distances away.
“Oh no, that makes me sad! I’m gonna cheer you up!”
I’m sceptical.
“Well, I can’t throw you a party because of this glass screen, and I can’t bake a cake for you because of this glass screen… I’ll come up with something next week! Bye Mister Writer!”
I’ll see you around.

---

Interesting. She said to try and smile more next time, but I’m already starting to grin naturally. Funny. Looks like they were right. Friendship really is ‘magic.’

Comments

[BlackStatic]

Holy buck, Zy. I remember you having musical talent, but your writing is something. The sheer amount of puns and Zy-like humour is becoming something I can quite literally tip my hat to.

[Life_asylum]

SECOND BIYATCH

[Dancing Dead]

*skeptical

Near the end there. Just sayin'.