Previous Chapters Next
Close
Hey, Mister Writer!2,004 words
Writer's Block2,252 words
Left and Write1,684 words
BONUS: Leaky Tube1,567 words
A Novel Idea1,621 words
Write and Wrong1,393 words
Short Bonus: Machinations918 words
Limitations of a Mind1,407 words

BONUS: Leaky Tube

This is the by-product of a bet, and I figured it had some relevance, so here I shall share.

The little purple unicorn stumbled across Canterlot, her worry growing with each step. She had already woken up to events of turmoil that day. Something was wrong with everything and everypony she knew. It was almost like she was transported across dimensions to an alternate Ponyville where everypony acted differently. At first, she shrugged it off as some sort of joke she wasn’t part of, but as more strange behaviour littered the streets of Ponyville, she decided to see the Princess directly. After all, she couldn’t send a letter asking for help – not with Spike being entirely incapacitated. It was still a ways to go to the castle, and the scenes around Canterlot were not much different to those in Ponyville. Ponies were acting horrifically strangely. Fleur de Lis suddenly turned into the new top pony, Photo Finish and Hoity Toity were engaged in Celestia -knows what, the famed orchestra musician Octavia was spinning discs amongst a smashed cello, and local DJ P0N-3 had dropped the turntables for a violin.
“The ponies here are no better than in Ponyville…”
She started to recall the events earlier that day on the way up to the castle.

---

The morning had been uneventful, although the lack of Spike was slightly worrying. Knowing he’d be at Rarity’s boutique, after a botched breakfast, Twilight Sparkle decided to fetch the dragon herself. It was a simple task before the daily book rearranging. Or rather, it should have been. Instead, she walked through scenes that would have put Discord to shame.

“F-F-Fluttershy?! Big Mac? What are you two doing together?”
“Oh Twilight, I’ve been meaning to tell you, Big Mac and I…”
The normally timid Pegasus exploded into a blush.
“What on Equestria?”
“In fact, we’re even getting m-married soon, and were hoping you could attend the ceremony…”
“Married?!”
“Eeyup.”
Jaw slack, brain slightly numb, Twilight Sparkle suddenly had about 10 things added to her already long to-do list for the day – item number 10 being “purchase a wedding gift.”

“Good morning, Twilight Sparkle!”
“Oh, Derpy, it’s you- wait. Why are your eyes normal?”
“I have no idea. I woke up this morning and my vision was completely perfect! I understood everything completely! It’s miracle!”
“Huuuh. Anyway, have you seen Rainbow Dash or Pinkie Pie?”
“Sure did. Rainbow was flying off to Sweet Apple Acres, about 551.2 metres on a bearing of 033.2 degrees from our current location. Assuming you’re a fit pony, running at an average of 15mph, by converting 15 miles per hour into metres per second, that’s 6.7056 metres per second, and thus the journey will take you 82.2 seconds, not accounting for drag, friction, and – hey, where did she go?”

“This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening.”
Whatever was going on, the little mare knew it wasn’t normal, nor was it good. She had to get to the bottom of it. Why would Rainbow Dash fly to Sweet Apple Acres? In any case, it was helpful as Twilight could then seek answers from two of the more sane ponies she knew.
As she ran, ignoring the burning in her chest, she saw the gate of Sweet Apple Acres, and beyond that, yet another frightful scene.
“So, sonny boy, that’s how Equestria was made!”
Granny Smith, up, kicking, dancing and telling stories. Although this was not the most abnormal thing Twilight had seen so far, it definitely warranted a few seconds for the scene to sink in.
“Granny Smith, where’s Applejack?”
“Whippersnappers, these days! No manners, no siree. Young filly an’ her blue friend went and flew off to the barn, starin’ inta’ each other’s eyes like no tomorrow!”
Thoughts raced through Twilight’s mind. “Please don’t let it be what I think…”
The barn was a short trot away, but even so, trying to regain her breath, Twilight had to slow down or risk collapsing and falling prey to… to… to whatever it was that was causing everypony to go insane.
“*gasp* Applejack! *wheeze* Rainbow Dash *pant* Are you guys in here?”
Struggling for air, Twilight surveyed the scene, and what her eyes found was something that should not be found. Something that would haunt Twilight Sparkle for the rest of eternity. Something so terrible and heinous that should any of it be detailed in this fiction, then the very fabric of our reality would tear. Putting two and two together, Twilight decided to forego checking on Rarity and reclaiming Spike.

Closing the barn door, her sanity slowly trickling back to her, Twilight took yet another breath.
“Wait, if everyone’s going crazy, then the normally crazy Pinkie Pie must be rational! Of course! I must find her.”
The Cakes hadn’t seen her. The pranks and gift storekeeper hadn’t seen her. Nopony in Ponyville had seen her. And that’s because Pinkie Pie was not visible.
“Hi Twilight!”
“Pinkie Pie! I can hear your voice, but where are you?”
“Right here, silly!”
“Where?”
“In front of you!”
“Where?! All I see is a door!”
“And all I see is a pony who has lost her mind and is talking to herself!”
“What?”
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, Twilight, everything’s going to be fine! I’ve already ascended our plane. It’s actually really cool looking down on Ponyville like this. But I can understand now how it feels when the fourth wall gets broken.”
“How do you know? Did you do this to everypony? What’s wrong with everyone?”
“I don’t. Nope. And I dunno lol. Ask the readers!”
““I dunno lol.”?”
Had Pinkie Pie not been beyond the fourth wall (or reason but that’s a different story), Twilight Sparkle would have seen a pair of shrugged shoulders and the oddest expression plastered on a pink face.
“Oh no. I need to find the Princess!”

---
Twilight had used nearly all of her magic teleporting to Canterlot – it is a dangerous risk to any unicorn when they cannot see their destination. However, she was confident enough in her abilities, and although she missed the castle by some ways, she was still close enough to make it on foot.
“I hope the Princess is okay… Whatever it is, it’s spreading to Canterlot…”
“HEY HEY HEY, STAY OUTTA MY SHED!”
Twilight didn’t even bother to look at where the sound was coming from. The voice was scary enough, and she had more pressing matters. Breaking into a quick trot, she turned a corner towards the main castle.

“Good morning, ma’am, would you like to try one of our special cupcakes on sale? They’re made out of super-special ingredients, handpicked and extracted with care!”
Somewhere even further along seemed to be what could only be described as a daytime rave. If Twilight had the experience of living in our world and tasting our culture, she may have encountered the name of the song, Catgroove by Parov Stelar, but right now, it was just mindless disco music. She had to resist the urge to bop her head and spin her eyes. “Stay focused.”
Eventually, she neared the castle. The castle with a guardless gate.
“Now this is just wrong.”
“WOOF!”
Understandable freaked out by the guard stallion that just poked its head from the ground, Twilight began walking into the castle grounds. All of a sudden, as if the skies themselves had opened, a sudden screaming came from the throne room.
“The Princess!”
Breaking into full sprint, Twilight found her way to where her beloved mentor would hopefully be. Barging past crowds of ponies, and smashing the door in, Twilight entered the throne room, not at all ready for what was she about to see; only full of vigour to protect the most important pony in her life. Stumbling slightly under the frailty of the door, or perhaps under the unexpected strength of her own back hoof, Twilight took a moment to regain her composure and inspect the damage…

..Of which there was none. Princess Celestia was sat on her throne, not a single hair out of place, smile as warm as ever. It was… completely normal? The sight of everything not upside down put Twilight’s mind at considerable ease.
“Oh hello Twilight Sparkle. How nice of you to visit!”
“Thank goodness you’re safe, Princess. I’ve been all over Ponyville, and everypony’s acting insane! Moreso than normal! It’s worse than Discord! I rushed over as soon as I can to make sure you were okay because I couldn’t send you a letter because Spike was missing and so I went to find him and ran into Fluttershy who was getting married to Big Macintosh and I was absolutely gobsmacked but then I ran into Derpy Hooves who suddenly became intelligent but she told me where Rainbow Dash was and when I found Rainbow Dash she and Applejack were-”
“Hold on there, Twilight. It seems like you’ve had a busy day.”
“You have no idea, Princess, but as long as you’re okay, that’s fine. All I ask is that you help restore everything to normalcy.”
“Of course, Twilight. But first, I must ask you a question.”
“Anything, Princess.”
“…Do you like bananas?”