Shitty writer, somewhat decent poet. Maybe gonna start posting philosophical poetry soon. Message me if in the mood for a deep discussion :P
Waking up after the wedding, Chrysalis feels somehow diffrent. She then figures out she lost the abilty to change. Has the direct hit from Cadence's and Shining Armor's blast affected her? And were there any more changes?
This is my first work, like ever. Hope you like it.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You need to get this edited properly.
Multiple tense issues and incorrect words. Unable to give it a thumb up in its current state.
awwwwww...
That was shweet
Pleeeeeeease give me more feedback! Anything! So many views and almost no comments.
Eh. Needs an editor.
Also, I thought it was strange that Celestia automatically believed Chrysalis. If I was in her place, I would still run the changeling check - ponies can be crazy and think they're someone else, or even lie in order to get themselves in trouble. Some ponies can be really messed up.
By having the Princess believe her confession from the start, you also missed an opportunity to have her tested. Is she still a changeling, but she just can't change? Did she become a pony, and just have some lingering special powers? (love drain) Is she some sort of mix? Or what?
3018191 so far i think it's unanimous that you need to find an editor to touch up this story, plus lengthen some scenes considerably. After that I'm sure you'll get more feed back and thumbs up. Good Luck
This was an amazing story. If you or someone else were to expand on the plot of the story and also fix all the grammatical errors within this story then I reckon that it will be extremely popular. Continuing with this story would not only attract more views but also help with getting more feedback on your stories. Maybe you could also fix a few plot holes as well.