Eternal Flame

by TheFIMguru

Prologue

Prologue

It was autumn once again in Trottingham, and a cream coated colt was making his way through the bustling town square for the second time that day.

“Once more unto the breach” he muttered as he was barged into the bustling crowd.

As he made his way through the fleshy waves of traffic, he whistled a nostalgic yet happy tune as he strolled along, greeting some familiar faces as he did so.

The tide of ponies were constantly smashing into each other, each of them trying to forge their own pathway to their respective objectives, each of them failing miserably as another pony cut across them in the name of their own progress. It was absolute anarchy in the town square.

According to his confused expression, the cream coloured colt seemed to have found himself knocked over to where he shouldn’t be, and began trying to map out the area around him in his mind; brow crinkled in frustration as he searched for something he knew should be there.

He was in a just above average-sized medieval-esque town, with quaint little thatch-roofed houses that jutted outwards into the streets, hanging over the cobblestone roads to join the assorted clutter laying around.

He cast his gaze to the sky looking for a clue to where he was and his eyes followed a small cluster of pigeons as they swooped down over the courtyard towards some of the peculiar characters surrounding him.

The ponies closest to where he stood were all trying to shout above each other, advertising their wares, exclaiming just how juicy their delectable peaches were or just how long your wife would be able to last tonight if you chose this particular potion.

Everything from cloth and jewellery, to vegetables, fruits and breads could be found in this trader’s oasis, and evidently, some of the rather shady products too.

After a good five minutes or so of searching, he seemed to find what he was looking for, and the corners of his mouth curled up into a devilish grin.

Ponies reeled backwards and scattered as he pounced, jumping back into the fray and landing slap bang in the middle of it all, earning angry glares and disapproving comments as he surged his way through a group of morris dancers before he could finally take position up against a stone-bricked wall, and begin to unload several items from his battered saddlebags.

At this point, he had managed to gather a considerable amount of attention, so a few passers-by stopped to follow the crowds angry glare and watch him curiously as he rummaged around in his belongings, and raised their eyebrows at the odd contraptions strapped to him as they took in his rather... unique... appearance.

He was a relatively small stallion with a shoulder length sea of flame for a mane that spilled down all sides of his face and neck to mingle with his cream coat as he fidgeted with his belongings.

As he took out six red spheres from the left compartment of his saddlebags, the onlookers’ attentions were brought to his legs and extended wings.

He had an odd looking flintlock contraption held onto his left hoof with belts of buckled leather and pivoting bottles of liquid and what looked like some form of powder held on to his remaining three legs, and his wings seemed to be much further forward than what was usual for Pegasi.

When he had found what he was looking for, he placed a metal dish next to his bags and swivelled round to the inquisitive ponies before him, brandishing five red balls in a threatening manner… And began to juggle them.

The salesponies breathed a sigh of relief and realised he was just an ordinary street performer, and went on their way leaving only a scarce few colts and fillies still gazing.

Paying the foals no attention, he continued to juggle as he watched the jostling population go by without a care in the world and no immediate need for concentration.

When a few more started to take notice of his work, but didn’t seem to be interested, he grinned at them in a manner that said “Just you wait…” before giving a flick of his left foreleg to send sparks colliding with one of the speeding spheres.

The stallion had been pre-coated with the dense fuel that burns at a slow pace before he set off outdoors for this particular trick, however only he and a certain observer knew that, so when the sparks made contact with juggling ball, the small crowd of children gasped and screamed at the sudden roar of the billowing flame.

The onlookers faces contorted with fear, panicked for a fleeting moment that something had gone horribly wrong, but… He paid it no attention. He just continued to casually stare out at the audience and smiled at them with a cocksure grin that threatened to engulf his entire face, until one by one, they all realised everything was under control.

The previous ten seconds screaming and the flailing had gained the performer even more attention, so now at least another two dozen faces with eager expressions were gazing in his direction, jaws hanging loose, swaying in the breeze.

The strange colt decided to bring them out of their trance by coughing and nonchalantly began to set fire to all the other balls, one every twenty seconds or so, until there were at least forty five ponies staring intently at him.

By now the balls appeared to be nothing but fire, arcing their way effortlessly across the sky, weaving their way between the street performer’s hooves as if they were loving every moment of it, begging him for more.

The street performer continued to juggle the balls and smile at the ponies around him, until eventually, the fuel started to burn out and extinguish at the same rate that the balls had originally been set on fire.

After they had snuffed themselves out, he was done with them, so the street performer gracefully tossed them into a saddlebag he had left on the cobbled floor next to him, hastily moving onto the next trick, wasting no time or hype.

The colt threw the crowd another wry grin as he brought his forehooves together, steadying himself with his wings so as not to fall over, and then lit them on fire.

An echoing “Clack” could be heard as the crowd’s jaws slackened even further while he threw his legs around in a fashion that made him look like a mad and frenzied windmill of flame, very confusing, yet still stunningly beautiful.

The street performer could only take so long of his forelegs being coated in flame however, so after swiftly stomping out the flame on the cobbled floor, the Pegasus then moved on to small, metal framed torches with tightly woven fabric on either end.

Standing on his hind legs, the Pegasus quickly lit the ends and tossed them into the sky, gradually increasing his speed and accuracy as he went, the all too familiar patterns coming to life once more.

The performer continued to toss and swirl the torches in wide, sweeping circles whilst kicking the ones he could not reach back into the air, before finally, he let all but one fall to the ground, sticking his right hoof in his mouth to place some of his fuel onto his tongue

A sudden realisation dawned on the crowds faces and comments of insanity were passed as the performer caught the last torch and tapped it on the now, very flammable, pink interior of his mouth and opened his muzzle wide for all to see the burning flame licking at the roof of his mouth.

A collective gasp and applause ensued, and the performer responded by giving a nod of the head and a quick snort, spraying the remaining flame out of his nostrils. The cream coloured colt took a quick bow and shouted his thanks, but the show wasn’t over yet.

The audience continued to throw bits inside the tin plate he had brought with him and begged for more.

Glancing over to his profit quickly, he made a mental note to bring more collection plates next time before exclaimed the best was yet to come.

The crowd cheered as he took up his position again and trailed his hoof up his wings, carefully lining some of the flammable fluid along them, and much to the astonishment of the ever-growing crowd before him, gave a flick of his wrist and the loud snap of the interlocking flint and steel contraption sounded as it spewed out sparks setting them alight.

Some of the pegasi audience could no longer watch, grimacing at the thought of doing something similar to their own, precious, and ridiculously delicate wings.

The performer seemed to notice the audiences discomfort, so he decided to discard that act and snapped his wings outwards and then to rid himself of the flame instantly.

The colt decided it was time to finish up with his most appreciated act, and flashed the crowd another grin before turning away from the crowd and trailing a line of the fuel up to the stone bricked wall.

He hastily set fire to the just placed fuel-fuse and rushed back to the wall to try and beat the flame in a game of beat the clock.

He worked furiously, sweating as he did so, splashing more of the flammable liquid all along the wall in certain, practiced pattern of swirls and splatters, but now time was growing ever shorter with the trail of fuel.

Just as the flame of the fuel-fuse reached the wall, he turned back to the audience and bucked at the air, sending some of his prized chemical compounds at it, just in time for the desired effect.

The wall exploded into a purple and red canvass of glorious flame, dancing in the eyes of the onlookers and the artist himself.

The audience snickered and fell about laughing, as there before them on the wall were the words; “Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?” written in flame.

As he flopped down on his side, once again, money managed to find its way over to the now utterly spent and exhausted performer, as he gave thanks and hoofshakes to the ponies that came to voice their pleasure.

As the cream coloured colt sat and waited for everypony to leave and go about their business, the street performer glanced over at the pile of cash in front of him.

“Yeeeaaaah, I’m never gonna be able to carry all of that…”

The traveling performer scratched his head thoughtfully and gazed around for a solution.

After a moment or two, his eyes finally rested on a pair of fillies that were nervously trotting their way up to him.

“Urm… Hello mister” The larger one said.

She was a small yellow unicorn with a short, cropped, maroon mane and a poofy tail, while her friend was a baby-blue earth pony with a long flowing navy mane and tail, but the thing that he noticed the most about them was their frame. Their rib-cages could be seen under their coats.

“We uh... Don’t really have much to offer, but this and our appreciation” She spoke timidly and quickly flicked a single bit across to him.

The small one then ushered, “That was really beautiful sir…”

The performer just looked with no obvious emotion betraying his thoughts for a little longer, and hatched a plan that would benefit the both of them.

“Thanks very much little ones, but please keep your money” He spoke with friendly tones woven into his speech.

“I’ve got enough as it is, and there’s more to come” He said as he pointed over at the collection plate.The eldest filly turned her head to the pile of cash and the queue of ponies still to come, so the the street performer quickly took advantage of the moment, pouring half the contents of the collection plate into the yellow unicorns bag before she could notice.

He raised his muzzle to the sky and tasted the crisp air.

“Winter’s coming… You’re gonna need some thick clothing and plenty of
food” He said ruffling the older foals mane. “Seriously, keep that bit, buy yourself some food or something”

The pair of fillies still seemed hesitant so he playfully batted them on the sides of their heads and nudged them away “Go on, scram!”

The yellow filly nodded appreciatively before grabbing her friend and scarpering, shouting her thanks.

The cream coated stallion watched them leave; content with his good deed and smiling at the mental image of that filly’s shock when she opens her saddlebags.

The street performer sighed and picked himself up, grabbing his worn and battered saddlebags once more before heading off back in the direction of the small tavern he was currently renting a room at.

Of course, he was still unaware that the whole thing had been watched intently by a certain somepony.

A violet, elderly mare with a cutie-mark of a pink sunburst and five white stars had been observing this from a table outside a café neighbouring his recently abandoned performance area, and was now watching him stroll down the street, whistling a nostalgic yet happy tune as he went on his way.

“Well, well, well, fancy seeing you here, Eternal Flame…” she muttered with a knowing smile only grannies can make. “Fancy meeting you here indeed.”

Author's Note:

So then, this is my first published fic! NOW EAT BAD NEWS!!! Due to an eventful personal life and the fact that I'm currently working on two HiE's, two clopfics, this and I'm an admin for The Good HiE list, so don't expect regular updates, but I will still aim for one chapter of one fic each week. (Aim being the key word there) This fic will continue though, I've had too many good ideas for it to let it go.

Now that I've got that out the way, I'm curious to see what you thought of this fanfic so far, and I'm eager for both positive and negative feedback telling my what and why something was good or bad, you can even tell me what you'd like to see implemented in the future if you'd like.

That's all for now, this is TheFIMguru signing off.

Comments

[Pearple Prose]

IT'S RANTING TIME.

First of all, this isn't a prologue, it seems more like Chapter 1. ANYWAY:

The narration was a bit lacking. It doesn't flow very well, and the descriptions were bland and uninteresting, with the few occasional similes and adverbs that just seem out of place.

The character, from what I've seen of him, is meh. He has the air of a Mary Sue about him, and the whole "calm and collected" trope should die in a fire.

The dialogue seemed off as well, and not very believable. Try sticking to what YOU would personally say.

Also, Eternal Flame is the shittest name for any character ever. In history.

VERDICT SO FAR: Lackluster, needs work.

[TheFIMguru]

2912367 Feedback noted. It is a prologue and you'll see why later, I'll try to improve the description and narration and like I say, it is only the prologue so you won't know that much about the main character just yet and I can assure you that he is not going to be a Mary Sue though, so don't worry about that one.

Also, the reason he's calm in his act is because he's been performing it for years, it's his profession, and he knows his tricks inside-out. As for the dialogue, I WOULD say most of that, but as you know I'm a very odd person.

Thanks for the feedback.

[hoofy-bron3]

Great job on the fic cant wait until its done! you could have made the start a bit more interesting but otherwise keep up the good work :D

[TheFIMguru]

2916359 Fair enough, it's gonna be a LONG long time till it's complete, but it WILL be completed! Thanks for the feedback.

[TheFIMguru]

3254746 Honestly, you will shit bricks. XP

[TheFIMguru]

4276367 Congratulations, you wasted a couple of seconds of your life stupidly commenting on a story that has clearly been inactive for a very long time without checking the many blog posts tagged to it that describe a horrible life that has managed to tear me away almost entirely from the fandom for over seven fucking months!

No need to tell me I wasted a couple of seconds on my reply, I enjoyed it. Try to have a nice day.

[PenileCorrectionSurgery]

I've heard that niggers tongue your anus joge, is this true?