Giggly Tickles
Joined 25th Jun, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Silentpegasus · 19k words · 317 14 · 6.8k views
- Bannhammer · 7.5k words · 128 10 · 8.7k views
- BlackM · 9.9k words · 129 4 · 3.7k views
- Indeliblink · 6.5k words · 183 11 · 3.6k views
- Captain Unstoppable · 3.1k words · 175 15 · 4.4k views
- Guy_Incognito · 5.5k words · 297 33 · 4.4k views
- Dreadnought · 2k words · 358 20 · 7.9k views
- Nonagon · 34k words · 179 9 · 6.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.071 seconds
Total duration
964 users online
260,331 hits today, 2,123,720 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
No. Just no. Mechanical shortcomings aside, Big Mac is horribly, painfully OOC here.
Poor Dashie :(
2788161 Correct me if I'm wrong, but the site title is fimfiction.net. Merriam Webster defines fiction as, and I quote, "Prose literature, esp. short stories and novels, about imaginary events and people." or "Invention or fabrication as opposed to fact."
I'm really new to writing fanfiction, and I don't want to sound abrasive. I'm truly sorry if I do. How can I improve in the future?
Great Spank Material, I feel it perfectly blends young love and rape. It truly encaptures the essence of teen angst. I feel I can really relate to the story and it makes me reminisce as my time of being a rapist myself.
2788199
You had me up until the last part, then I laughed.
10/10
0_0
The tense is very awkward for a story like this.
I'm just not a rape fiction kinda guy I guess.
Srry bro
2788189
Pardon me if I wax pedantic, but we're dealing with fanfiction here, meaning fan-created stories set in or otherwise involving an established fictional universe (in this case, MLP:FIM). The established characters are an integral part of that universe. When it comes to fanfics, readers typically expect the characters to think, talk, and act like they would in the actual show/book/game/whatever. If you are going to change their canon characterization -- which is fine -- you need to make it convincing. I'm just not getting that here. In the show, Big Mac may be quiet, but I don't think there's any indication that he's as mentally deficient as you portray him here. Why has he become a simpleton who decides he's just going to walk up to Dash and rape her? It's a cheap, flimsy, fundamentally unsatisfying modification of his canon characterization. The story would be a lot stronger if, for example, you showed normal Big Mac becoming obsessed with Dash to the point that he eventually loses control and does something terrible to her (i.e., rape). That sort of corruption of a "nice guy" character would hit a lot harder than what you've got here.
2788370 Yeah, you wax pedantic.
I suppose I'll try and give you some advice about future stories. I feel that this story is a little to fast. I know it's about rape and on a poor innocent mare like rainbow dash, but I feel instead of describing the scene you were telling me what you could see. For a story to be good in the sense of a reader getting a mental image you have to describe exactly what you see in your head. You have to describe it in a way that the reader can get immersed and picture what is being read. You also moved a little too fast during the rape scene in my opinion i.e: "Within seconds he was inside her" obviously there isn't much that you could add here, but a little more description goes a long way. I also feel that you rushed some scenes, but that's only me. I'm actually really tired so excuse my weird way of putting things or any mistakes in this comment. If you want any further help then PM me a question. Other than the things I have listed above I think it was alright for your first attempt at this sort of stuff. Good job.
2788762
Thanks a lot for the feedback. I wrote this pretty fast, and I admit it could have used a lot more work before publishing it. I'll take your advice for my next fanfic, thanks!
2788370
Like most other masterpieces, I doubt this will be appreciated during it's time. I can, however, predict that this will indeed be the "Mona Lisa" of My Little Pony fanfiction.
But it's fine, thanks for the feedback
You have the distinct displeasure of being both the only writer of this particular pairing that I've ever downvoted, and of being the only one I downvoted within two paragraphs. I award you no stars, and I weep for those you care for.
2790106 That's a little harsh.
2790684 they wrote a fic about Big Mac raping Rainbow Dash. There is nothing harsh about it.
Shouldn't she be going to the hospital and getting that bite looked at? I mean she was clearly bitten, and water moccasins are pretty dangerous, sometimes fatal. However, more importantly,
Why is she just sitting there, at the place where SHE RECENTLY FOUND AND WAS ATTACKED BY A WATER MOCCASIN? Shouldn't she be at least a bit concerned? And where was the snake during all of this? Was it just "bored" and went elsewhere? Because clearly RD didn't do anything... and now that I'm thinking about it, how did Big Mac manage to sneak around the place with the dangerous snake and NOT be bitten?
2790706
Good point, but you have to take in the fact that this is the authors first ever Clop-fic. Give him a reason to keep going and make something better. Give him feedback and methods of improving his work. don't just basically say that he's bad and leave it at that. Don't say that you down voting it because you didn't want to image of rainbow dash's marehood being forcefully taken from her. You have to give reason for down voting something.
2790743 I did. Big Mac is characterized as a gentleman. He wouldn't willingly hurt a mare without a proper reason. On top of that, this is kinda my main pairing. seeing it twisted like this, and the characters involved twisted like this just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
2790756 I do agree that the character canons were changed quite drastically.
2790731 That is actually a very good point, I must not have noticed that. I read this when it was 5:54am you see.
This is just poorly written. The romance tag does not belong, and should have a dark tag for the rape. Seriously, come on. OOC as well as not even being able to tag things properly? You get a down vote, sorry.
I have a really bad habit of reading the comments before the story.
- " Have I ever told you the story of how our planet was made? Once upon a time this planet was knocked out of space by a great king. Unfortunately, this king was very lazy and put the problem of our destroyed planet into his son's hands. The prince did the one thing he knew that would save our planet.
He went to other planets that his father didn't accidentally destroy and rolled up everything upon its surface with a sticky ball. The large clump of mass that became our planet was mostly made out of sweets, horses, and adobe flash. At the end of the day, the king took the mass out of his son's tiny hands and turned it into a planet. This planet was then known as equestria. I remember that day as if it were yesterday...oh! I should probably remind you that it wouldn't be wise to fiddle with that ball I keep on my desk. It can both destroy and create worlds..."-
-Dr. Awesome
Chaircolt of the SUPP
Oh hell to the NO. The fuck? Seriously? Like, come on. I think what upset me the most was the 'Moaning.' I find sometimes that people are too obsessed with Big Mac's trademark saying, but this is ridiculous. Just, wow. Ugh, can't express how terrible OOC Big Mac is here. Just no. This almost reminds me of those crappy little crane game machine things you see around. I mean, you see an amazing Fluttershy plushie, and you try to win it. Well, my opinion of this story is, 'Whoops! Better luck next time!'
I am GOING TO KILL BIG MAC FOR HURTING MY DASHIE !!!
but good work omc all the feels
can you plz make a next bit or somting plz