Blackened Skies

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Rezz

Rezz #1 · Jun 4th, 2013 · · ·

Hmm.
Very interesting concept though... the one problem I had with it is that from the beginning I felt thrown into the story, there was no build up to it really but in a way thats what you have to expect from a oneshot. The story was a interesting read and something original and not cliche which makes me smile. I enjoy authors who write something that hasn't been done a million times like fallout equestria. My god those two series don't even mix. Fallout is My Little Ponies Antithesis and therefore fallout Equestria is a paradox. This is original and bold in comparison to some literature. I enjoyed the concept and frankly would enjoy reading more on it.

What a good idea would be to me is to make this into a full story. Take this one shot and develop it further however it has some issues that many ignorant fans may not like such as: Minotaurs are the main characters, minotaurs being uncommon within the fandom, Luna and Celestia are gone and really give off the impression of being liers etc when the two are two of the most liked characters.

I like the idea overall and I found it creative. I felt sympathy for your main character during his nightmare on how horrible that would be to see your daughter get incinerated before your eyes before you met a similar fate.

Now some things I did notice is you had a problem with terminology at points but I can look by that. The main issue was that there was no build up, I was simply thrown into the middle of a situation. But! you in a way redeemed yourself overall by explaining how society worked and what happened in the war. So overall you did a good job.

7.5/10.
Needs work but overall it was a nice read that frankly is better than a lot of crap that people jump to on this site.
Good job and good luck writing.

Edit: I added this to my Favorites because of its originality and creativity, I enjoyed it a lot so you have earned a spot in my almost barren favorites box