Shield and Sword

by Resda

Omake: This Can Only End Well

The Canterlot night was young. Luna's moon shone in full high above the city, and the stars twinkled brightly. In the quieter parts of the city, anypony with a predilection for astronomy would have a wonderful time simply watching in silence.

In the not-so-quiet parts of the city, though...

"Another round!"

"Pony up and take the shot like a stallion, soldier!"

"Celestia's beard I didn't think he'd actually do it!"

...a good time was something else entirely.

---

A yellow pegasus stallion laughed along with the rest of his squad at the bar. Today had been a particularly exhausting, especially since Captain Armor had paid their platoon a surprise visit, and Lieutenant Blade had decided to show off exactly what her boys were capable of.

Top that off with that little sparring match at the end and you had one heck of an eventful training day. It was nice to simply unwind with his battle buddies, have a few drinks, and talk about...

Wait, what were they talking about again?

"Check out the plot on that one, fellas..."

Oh, right. He rolled his eyes, even as the others started whistling and cat-calling out to the poor helpless mare. When he joined the Guard, he had delusions of grandeur and chivalry. It had only taken one day for all that to get shattered to bits. He finally chuckled, unable to keep his silence. "Stop thinking with your other heads for once, will you?" he joked, getting a few good-natured guffaws in response.

"Aw, shut up, Sunshine," a white unicorn stallion responded.

He bristled at the nickname. Lieutenant Blade had called him that on the first day, taking note of his unusual coloring for a guardspony, and it had stuck like stink to-

Well, you know. Anyway... he regarded the mare-slash-sex object in question with a bemused glance.

"She isn't even that hot," "Sunshine" said with a shrug.

"Soldier, you are high. If she was any hotter, Princess Celestia would be sweating."

"Sunshine" gasped. "Quick Draw, that's not cool, man. That's the freakin' Princess you're talking about!"

Quick Draw laughed again, supported by the rest of his squad. "Look, all I'm sayin' is that that mare could use the company of a fine stallion. Such as myself."

The yellow pegasus found his opening and struck. "I suppose. It'd only take two minutes, anyway, right Quickie?"

"Oh, Luna, Sunny got you good there," another squad mate said, clapping Quick Draw on the back with a heavy hoof. The unicorn glared, his white face showing a full-fledged blush.

"For that one, you're buying the next round," Quick Draw spit.

"Sunshine" shrugged and pulled out his coin purse. "Shots for all of us horny bastards, then."

Quick Draw's scowl quickly faded. "So, soldier, who's your fillyfriend, if you're so blind as to not recognize perfection when you see it?

It was his turn to flush. "Nopony, I swear. I don't have a fillyfriend!"

Quick Draw leered at him. "Coltfriend, then? I don't judge."

"Celestia, no!" He leapt to his own defense. "I'm not gay, I'm..."

"Smitten?" another squadmate offered.

"That, I guess." "Sunshine" sighed, watching as another set of shot glasses was placed before the group. "See, there's this mare... I bumped into her once at the castle."

"Bumped into her, or bumped into her?" somepony asked.

"Shut up, asshole," another said.

The pegasus continued his story. "She was carrying a book... something heavy. She didn't look where she was going, and she barreled right into me!"

"Sappy," Quick Draw criticized. "It's like something out of a romantic comedy."

"Ha, ha," he replied. "But this mare... there was something about her. Not hot, not like that mare you were ogling-"

"So you admit she's hot, then!" Quick Draw raised his shot glass in victory, only to put it down when Sunshine shot him a glare.

"There was something in her eyes. Those innocent, purple eyes. It was like she was full of something magical. Something pure." His face broke into a grin unconsciously.

"So she's a unicorn, then..." Quick Draw said. "And she's staying in the castle. I wonder if-"

"I dunno, man," "Sunshine" replied. "She knew a lot of the guards, so she's obviously a regular visitor, if she doesn't live there. But she doesn't look like a maid or anything. She looked more like a student than anything else."

"Let's hear some details, then, soldier," another voice replied from behind. "Sunshine" didn't notice, but the rest of the squad was silent.

"Alright. Yeah. She's a unicorn, like you said, a lavender one. Dark blue mane and tail with stripes in it... cut razor straight, with a little flip at the end. Star cutie mark. Bookish. Curves in the right places, though."

"She sounds pretty hot, then," the same voice continued.

"Aw, hell yeah." He raised his shot glass. "I decided, that very day... one day, Flash Sentry, you're going to get that mare."

"Is that so?"

"Damn straight," Flash replied. He lifted his glass. "To that mystery mare - may I bump into her again. And yes, I mean in that way." He downed the shot in a single swallow. To his surprise, none of his squadmates followed suit. "Aw, come on, a stallion can dream, right?"

"You know, I think I know that mare. Student of Princess Celestia. Studying friendship in Ponyville on her orders," the voice continued.

Flash Sentry lit up, turning to face the stallion behind him. "You do? What's her name, man? I gotta know!" He finished turning around, only to blanch at an unexpected sight... his superior officers.

Lieutenant Blade was struggling to keep a straight face.

But Captain Armor wasn't laughing. "Her name, private," he said, in the harshest of tones, "is Twilight Sparkle."

Author's Note:

Quick one-shot deal that wouldn't leave my head.

I'm not sorry.

Comments

[Raistlin]

Dr. Ocsid? Seriously? None in the Court picked that one?

[Raistlin]

If we fall..."
"We'll pick ourselves up and train harder than ever," Crescent continued. "And we'll rise to the challenge." Crescent saluted with a wingtip.

Dude, if a country´s military fails to protect its nation from invaders, rarely there are second chances. All your bases are belong to us, and the most you can aspire is to form a guerrilla or join La Resistance.

[Resda]

2938864
Party pooper.

[Resda]

2938846

Discord's Dr. Ocsid disguise has a magically-enforced Clark Kenting rule to it: Anypony who thinks to make the connection will immediately view it as completely ridiculous. The only people immune to the rule are those that he has chosen to reveal his identity to.

[Banchoking]

Haha! Poor Flash.

[Wolfram-And-Hart]

Flash? Time to start living up to your name and RUN!

[bonsey]

Let's be fair. anyone who had the unfortunate honor of being mindraped by Discord or watching him turn their country into his personal playground-cum-lab experiment isn't exactly going to be chill with the idea of him running around.

[Resda]

3009293

That's a fair assessment. The only ponies that saw Discord apologize are the Mane Six and the Princesses.

[xv22shasokais]

2938864
Well, the La Resistance IS the second chance.

Oh, wait, I haven't read the story. Where's that link?

EDIT: Just finished the story, and there's only one thing that came to mind: Equestrian Royal Guard needs more combat exercise. With griffons. And dragons. On a weekly basis. Both physical and psychological.
I'm not saying they're weak, but only that way they can be "stronger than ever". Human military are strong because of the number of conflicts we've been through (stronger, but not less jerkier). It may sound cruel and wrong but hey, only those who fall will know how to get up.

[namar13766]

Oh yes Flash. Tell the Captain of the Guards to his face how you'd like to bone his sister.

[ShadowWing09]

Might want to tag this Alternate Universe.

Because Flash Sentry clearly never left that bar alive

[GJT_Productions]

3456477 I agree, because Shining is technically his CO. That kind of recklessness would be a quick way to make your life quite miserable. (Presumably, Shining himself didn't have a similar problem with Cadance and Celestia because their relationship started BEFORE he joined the Guard. Between that, his good behavior and Twilight being Celestia's student, Celestia was able to make anypony who didn't like that arrangement either "shut up and put up" or transferred to a far away frontier outpost. )