When walking through the woods, the Mane Six come upon a unicorn stallion named Creo. He is stressed out from not being able to come up with a title for the story he's writing, so the girls all decide to ease his stress. One by one, they each do their own thing for helping him calm down, which they do, but Creo inadvertently treats them in ways that make them fall in love with him. And when the girls find out each one of them love him, they may not be willing to share...
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It's not great, but it's not terrible either. There's no plot hook to speak of, and I barely had the willpower to finish this brief chapter, never mind continue on to the next one.
202244
Well, you just have to wait until they meet the guy.
Before I get into details, I must say that the premise is very good! When I read the premise, I really thought this was going to be an interesting story.
Then, when I got down to reading it, it's very decent. I do find it pretty weird how the mane six just randomly decide to take a walk in the woods. But then again, this is a random type story, so I guess I can let that go. I do like the character of Creo. I really do. He's an interesting character and his personality can relate to many of us. So far, this story is pretty interesting. I also like how you try hard to keep faithful to the characters' normal behavior. It gets a little off occasionally, but I still accept it fine.
So far, the only real complaint I have is that there's a little too much dialogue. I understand that dialogue helps explain the characters more, but I think it's slightly overdone. I sometimes felt that the characters were just rambling repetitively and dragging the story.
But despite that, I still find this to be a very interesting story so far, especially the premise. I hope to see more soon.
Thus far, I give this a thumbs up (I may change this later when more of the story is complete.)
202386
Well, thank you for your critique~
Yeah, it's very hard for me to get the characters just right. xD
Also, thanks for what you said about Creo.
YEs i like
I like very much
I like so much i give it a
i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j360/HardRockC0ck/1277604778482.gif
205811
Haha, thanks a ton!
206090
Did the picture scare you?
Im sorry its just so awesome it blows away my face
206093
Nah, it's fine.
Ha ha ha! I loved how this chapter ended.
You really know how to bring on goofy humor. Hoping to see more very soon.
And like Creo said, take your time, and you'll make great art through words.
212093
Thanks!
I try my best~ cx
Indeed~
Bitch
Spas are never girly
Spas are fucking manly
I would go to a spa everday
Still good chapter and great ending
Can not wait for next chapter But I have to so
SON OF A i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j360/HardRockC0ck/1277604778482.gif
212330
Haha, thanks again! xD
And wait until you see how he views spas after he goes to one. x3
213016 giggety
213188
This chapter was very sweet. Both from Creo and Rarity.
I personally would love to try a spa like the one in Ponyville. I've never been to one.
Anyway, the relationship is nicely written. The dialogue is very believable. It was a pretty short chapter, but I'm not to judge of that.
The only slight problem is I think Creo's change of thought was a little too sporadic. It's not bad, just seems rather unrealistic.
But besides that, it's a nice chapter.
Proceed very soon.
225393
Well, thank you very much. c:
I tried very hard with the words, and I'm glad I was able to do so well~
And I guess you're right about his change, but I see it as "Rarity's words were so big, that Creo really felt bad for saying that all this stuff was girly, and tried to give it a real chance instead of pretending to like it."
AWWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I can tell that every pony is going to fall in love with this fool and shit will happen and they will be like
236295
OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
They most certainly are~
(As hard as that is to believe. 
236336
Your preaching to the choir
236349
236446
But one thing I know: I'm going to favorite, because I want to see the looks on there faces when they are like:"SO thats why they call you creative charmer" and I will be like
236494
Haha, cool.
And thanks for faving it!
236520
you caught my intrest when you called your character: "Creative charmer" :pinkiehappy
236594
Well, that was the most fitting name I could think of.
And I'm glad I chose it~
Even though I can see the love story from a mile away, this just continues to intrigue me.
I think one of the main reasons for that is because in the official cartoon, none of the ponies have any love relationship (except for Rarity, but, that's just her being Rarity. Haha). That idea alone makes way for a great fictional romance story. And so far, you're doing it very well.
A lot of the conversations are believable. Here with Fluttershy, the interaction is both adorable and charming.
Fluttershy's 'realization' at the end was a very nice touch to finish this chapter.
So far, this story is a little typical, but nonetheless, it's still a great read. Keep going!
238417
Well, i thought it would make a nice story~
Thank you very, very much!
I always try as hard as I can to make each pony act like they would on the show, and Twilight's the next one.
And thanks for your critiques on my story! I'll look forward to your next one on my next chapter~!
I think you should go for Fluttershy, I've always wanted to be with her
238672
Well, you'll see how it all turns out in the end.
Is guy could laid so easily
240619
Well, I try to make my stories like the show, so I wouldn't include stuff like that.
Im just saying
240788
Yeah, I know. I guess he could.
Aww, no kissing at all? LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME
I can see your view however, considering I got a 37 chapter full of romance, comedy, and other shit I don't want to say that I don't regret writig, actual plan on THINKING about writing a clop chapter, lol
I AWAIT YOUR NEXT FUCKING CHAPTER LOL!
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOORY.
Haha, I see~ :3
AND I CANNOT WAIT FOR YOU TO READ IT!
It's looking good so far. What I love most about it right now is that no one is out of character. I've read too many stories where the author ruins their characters (almost always in self-insert stories), and has them throwing themselves at the OC almost seconds after they meet. I love how you're being believable with this.
Anyway, I look forward to the next chapter.
251797
(Whoops, forgot to hit "reply".
)
Well, the thing about me is that I try very hard to make my stories like the show. $smiley
Like they're actual episodes.
And thank you very much~ $smiley I look forward to submitting the next chapter! $smiley
Oh what is he gettin himself into?
nice chapter! keep up the good work!
260293
Something not so good...
Thanks a lot!
While this chapter is more "cheesy", it's still very charming.
Creo and Twilight together is a very cute thing to visualize. (Though remind me, what does Creo look like again?)
I think there was a tad much dialogue, but I understand why. It's to help flesh out the relationship more. Spike's suspicion is good, though I find it odd, as he's probably the most romantic in the series. But it's clear he doesn't want to jump to conclusions too early, so I let it go fine.
And like I said before, Twilight's love for Creo is a little weird, but also funny and cute at the same time.
Hope to see more really soon.
260444
Hehe, yeah. xD
I'll have to draw Creo sometime so you can see.
Yes, I needed the amount of dialogue I thought was proper for how Twilight could fall in love with Creo.
As for Spike, he's thought more that Twilight really does love Creo, but he isn't ready to be convinced yet.
Yes, well, it's hard for me to make all the character's love for Creo seem realistic, but I'll still try my hardest with all of them. (Even Rainbow Dash, who will be my toughest challenge of all.
)
Anyways, thanks again for your critique of this part.
Applejack is up next, and I can't wait to see your next critique for that one! 
Damn he's good
260723
Oh yes he is.
260447You can use Generalzoi's Pony creator if you want to make it easy for you.
http://generalzoi.deviantart.com/art/Pony-Creator-Full-Version-254295904
261071
Actually, I know how I want him to look, I just haven't had the time to draw him yet.
Oh....
OH
I see what you did there
He better get smart, or he will regret it all!
261186
What do you mean?
261256
Don't suger coat it, even my Devil pony sees through your scheme!
261259
Well, if you say so.
Damn it, why does he have to be such a good charmar?!
263776
He can't help it! It just comes naturally to him~