Behold the continuing adventures of Daring-Do! Daring learns from her friend of a goblet that is owned by a griffon, whom is the self-proclaimed "king" of where he lives. His goblet is a very beautiful artifact, and dates back to the time of the griffon's ancestor, whom was the original owner of the goblet. Now daring-Do has to get to the griffon's mountain and obtain the goblet, but she'd better be careful, because this griffon isn't prepared to let his most prized possession get taken.
Chapters (16)
Very nice, but IMHO you should use more descriptions of character's emotions and actions mid-dialogue. Description-less as it it it resembles ranobe, and i am not sure if Daring Doo is a ranobe
. You can re-watch the episode and see that book have a lot of descriptions, and not just dialogues. Or you can continue work as it is, if you not very good with descriptions. Either way, good luck! I will happy to see more chapters.
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(Sorry, forgot to press "reply".
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Well, there should be more descriptions once she gets to the mountain, so there'll be more to describe.
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Also, I thought about what you said, and I realized that why I'm not so descriptive is because
1. I didn't want to put too much text for people to read.
2. I'm not good at thinking of the right words to describe the ponies, so sometimes I don't put any at all.
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I know, but it will not hurt if you describe character's emotions or minds a little bit more
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Well, I'm not good at describing since I don't know the words to use and I don't how to describe the words, either.
I guess I can try, but don't expect any miracles.
You are beautiful and this is beautiful. Keep striving to improve and things will only get better! This is beautiful and I love you!
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Oh! Well, thanks a lot!
I'm glad somebody finally commented on this after so long~