It's pearple prose's IRL unedited face.

Greetings once again, my good ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the second addition of The Good the Bad and the Ugly Reviews, my new review series for longer fics.

Before we begin, a quick reminder of my simple scoring method:

The Good: Fics of clear high quality, showcasing the work of an excellent or promising author.
The Bad: Fics of clear low quality, showcasing the work of a poor or inexperienced author.

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Anyone who has followed me for any length of time will have realised that most of the things I review are crap. There is, as a matter of fact, good reason for this: I find such reviews entertaining to read and write, and they allow me to highlight common trends in fiction which often lead to shoddy work. Thus, they are informative: this is What Not To Do.

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...where you just can't be fucked?

Then someone comes along and asks you to do a job where you essentially get paid to do fuck all, and for longer?

I did today!

Yep, there's yours truly's ugly mug. I am currently getting paid to sit in a van whilst waiting for customers to collect their online shopping.

The guy who was supposed to be doing this has been sent on deliveries, as we had a driver go sick.

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Hello my subjects,

I am still quite active on this wonderful site, just not the kind of active you'd expect. I'm, albeit very slowly, working on a new story. It's my first attempt at horror. And by slowly, I mean very, very sloooow. Tidbits of inspiration come to me at different times. Usually I just rush to my computer and hop on to FIMfiction to write it down. And then, when I least expect it, it runs dry. But fear not, for I am not one to quit.

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A good day to you my rather splendid ladies and gentlemen, I hope it has been and shall continue to be fun and productive.

Today I bring you the third edition of The Good the Bad and the Ugly reviews, featuring one of the most well known HiE's on the site. Before that, though, a quick reminder of our classifications:

The Good: Fics of clear high quality, showcasing the work of an excellent or promising author.

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Hello my good Sirs and Madams, I hope all is shiny, cool and otherwise awesome.

As I'm sure most of you are aware, I am inclined to write the odd review. Mostly, I post these on Rage Reviews, and I generally review in the style of that group. While the Rage style of reviewing is awesome, there is a key problem: it does not lend itself well to longer pieces.

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Hello on this fine winter day, my good ladies and gentlemen. I hope to find you all in good order and in a generally awesome state of being.

Today I have a rare treat: I shall be reviewing not one, not two but seven fics, all by the same author. Before we proceed further, our snazzy scoring method:

The Good: Fics of clear high quality, showcasing the work of an excellent or promising author.

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Greetings and salutations, my good ladies and gentlemen. It is my fond hope that you are in spiffing good form.

Before we proceed, two things. Firstly, our scoring:

The Good: Fics of clear high quality, showcasing the work of an excellent or promising author.
The Bad: Fics of clear low quality, showcasing the work of a poor or inexperienced author.

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Well first off let us start with the good and we will go from there.

I guess I can talk about this new art piece I made of Roseate and Arsthotua hugging. It will probably be ignored by most, oh well. But there it is.

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A British Gentleman has set up a contest with an interesting premise: he wants to fill in the gaps in Fimfiction's genres, the things people don't usually write much of. The first one is:

First or second person HiE, with a FEMALE point of view character.

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So, the episodes have been leaked out in the UK and I decided to take a look. Having been on the internet since its creation, I know that if I don't want to have something spoiled for me I have to watch it immediately. To be quite frank, I kind of wish I hadn't this time around. The season finale was really good, though, I'd only rank it at the fourth best finale. The Cutie Re-Mark with evil Starlight Glimmer is still my favorite finale, along with Twilight's Kingdom being second best finale.

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Hello again,

I just wanted to say that the New England Patriots are not cheaters. No I'm not a fan, but y'all need to hush about this cheating nonsense. Also, Pinkie Pie is very hard to masturbate to. Due to her funk, my boner goes flat. It gets hard when she's in any type of pain.

Worst Regards, King Hate.

This is pretty much what it says on the tin.

See, ponies like music, I think that's pretty well-established canon. I like music, too, and I thought I'd introduce you to some music you might not have heard before. After all, I've been introduced to music by other people through the years, oftentimes something I'd never have found on my own.

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So recently, I released a story called "Dance for Her Amusement" and so far, it's literally 50/50. It shares the same amount of likes as it does dislikes and I would love some support, I worked hard for the fic. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here to ask why recent One-Shots I've submitted her only mediocre or bad. What am I doing wrong? What do you think of my most recent stories? What should I work on? What's your opinion on my writing?

Hi.

If you think Putin's invasion of Ukraine is just or right, or even kinda balanced because you think there's a good excuse, go fuck yourself.

If you're a fan of people who think so (Trump, Tucker Carlson), go fuck yourself.

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I've seen (and read about) a lot of Original Characters with horrible color schemes. Really horrible. So for today's blog post, I thought we might discuss something that is often neglected in character design: color theory.

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It's my own twist on the MLP fandom's laughing stock, black and red alicorn OCs.

Putting aside the update, I decided the cover art should be something black and red (obviously), so I googled "black and red" and eventually came to a nice picture. The problem I had with it was that it was Yin-Yang, which could throw come people who read the story off. So, instead I looked up "black and red alicorn"...

And stumbled upon the ugliest goddamn ponies I've seen in my entire life.

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"The hell do you mean, Mr. N0?" I hear you ask.

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