Today I am going to tell you a true funny story that happened one day when I took a small day trip up to the Grand Canyon.

At some point during my visit to the iconic national park, I was just chilling on a park bench when this squirrel comes up to me and starts speaking in some kind of squirrel language I suppose.

So I say, 'Oh hello little squirrel have you come to say hello?'

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English Is A Tough Language

English is kind of complicated. I often revert to speaking French, Korean, Chinese, or Japanese (or a combination of all of these at once) because they make more sense. :P

Reasons English is a weird language:

1. There are a bunch of variations of a word that are pronounced the same, but they are spelled different and mean different things.

Such as to, too, two. There, there, their. Where, wear. Tare, Tear. Bare, Bear. So on and so forth.

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One of those desperate girls who want you to see them strip or something on webcam sent me a spam e-mail and was like, "Hey Baby. Want to bang? Here's the link to my private messenger if you want to hit me up."

And I so I did what every sensible person would do and clicked the link to the messenger.

When I was in the messenger thing I said, "Listen, Candy (that was her name). Banging hurts a lot. I just stubbed my toe last week. You can understand why I am not interested."

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So, thanks to things happening rapidly all at once I went from needing to make one blog post to probably wanting to make three, so I had a brilliant idea-

Combine all the topics which will be of wildly different levels of interest to different people into one confusing mess!

Part 1: Intricate Disguise and There's Really No Way To Be Funny About This

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Best Ending ever. I even got to keep the alicorn forme!

One time when I went grocery shopping at Walmart, I started to get this weird feeling like something was slipping down from my waist. It took me a minute to realize that my underwear was starting to slide down by back side, slowly but surely. Like it was meticulously plotting its revenge for all of the times I stuck it in the dryer without the cottony dryer sheet, to save money by conserving the amount I used weekly. Oh it would have its revenge for not being extra fluffy like the towels that

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Over the past few days, I've been wondering why I was getting a major uptick in new views/likes on the extremely random Dobbinfic You Are What You Wheat. "Did Present Perfect's review two weeks ago generate a bunch of secondary buzz?" I asked myself. "Or did Equestria's pettiest thief pull off a meta-heist and steal attention the way he

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My TV Show Rating Score:

5/5: It is an awesome show!
4/5: It’s a good show with minor flaws
3/5: It’s overall okay/guilty pleasure
2/5: It’s bad but not awful
1/5: Look, up in the sky! It’s super bad!

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Rating Scale:

12/10—a complete masterpiece; flawless and outstanding
11/10—Excellent, near-perfect film
10/10—the standard rating; awesome film with a couple of flaws
9/10—a wonderful film with several flaws
8/10–a great film with numerous flaws but not enough to ruin it

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What I Saw At The Store

A few months ago I saw a man in his mid forties pick his nose and wipe is boogers 'discreetly' on the dress of a middle-aged women in front of him.

The woman didn't notice at all. Which means that later she is going to find a very gooey surprise on her dress.

He must have had lots of practice. Which is disturbing to think about.

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Dealing with Jealousy and Broken Friendships

Jealousy can be a tough thing to deal with. You want to believe that as someone who tries to do the right thing or generally be a good person that jealously can't effect you. But the reality is that it is something that everyone has experienced in one form or another in their lives. It it is a natural human emotion and it is okay to feel jealous about a situation, just as long as you also work to resolve the issue at the same time.

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Last week, I did a speech for Texas Public Radio's Worth Repeating about how I became a Brony. In the speech, I explain how My Little Pony helped me overcome my depression and how my connection to Spike made me a writer. To my amazement, it's become very popular. Apparently, it has three times the hits of Worth Repeating's most popular post! Even the fandom found it, and they posted a direct link to it on Equestria Daily! What pleases me most of all is the number of comments welcoming me into

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I'm A Professional Dumpster Diver

Yep, you heard that right. I now dig in random dumpsters to earn a living. :')

Don't judge me. <_<

I've already found fishing poles, tons of antique furniture, aquariums, DVD players, Direct TV boxes, desktop computers, laptops, jewelry making kits, craft supplies. PlayStation consuls, MP3 players, craft scissors, jewelry, money, and more!

I estimate that I've found about $100.00 in cash/ change the last month I have been dumpster diving.

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Hanging Out With Real Life Vampires, Werewolves, and Magic Users (Lifestyle)

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As I've come to learn via my Discord server, something bizarre has happened. In fact, it is so bizarre that the only thing that could make it seem normal is if I remembered my other email password and actually bothered to check it, or browsed Equestria Daily, well, daily.

Because, my weird cult of followers, apparently, the revised (yes, it had a revision I forgot to blag about) of All That Lingers got its paranormal romance ass on Equestria Daily.

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Artist is Saveraedae.

(copy-pasted writing by Calpain on EQD)

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I used to work at this pizza place while I was going through university. The bosses I originally had when I first started working there (I later found out) were married first cousins. As in the children of the aunt/ uncle on both sides getting married. I thought it was a little strange (I couldn't picture myself marrying any of my first cousins, or the children of my uncles or aunts) but they seemed happy so I didn't really question things.

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I Don't Miss Watching Television Or Watching The News

I've been television free for about ten years now. I found other ways to entertain myself such as reading books (I know shocking right?), watching stuff on YouTube, hanging out on various websites, and spending a lot of time outdoors.

But it seems like the more I try to give the middle finger to television programs and the news, they always manage to pop up somewhere else in my social media feeds and whatnot.

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Cat Litter Alternatives

I've been trying out some homemade cat litter alternatives since adopting a little stray cat named Boots. I will be testing out some ideas I found on the internet. I will let you know which one works best.

Here is a list of alternative cat litters I have found by looking on various websites and forums.

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